Calling all older folks

[Wrong Element]

if you had a phone in the house, it was usually just the one, in one set place, limited by the spiralled wire, so getting privacy to speak on the phone (and this was in the 70's in my particular household), you had to make sure doors were closed and you spoke quietly. you answered a call to your house with your phone number and 'may i help you' spoken very politely not 'yeah?' as is more common today.

I was thinking recently: imagine telling a young person today that not so very long ago, there was an entity that was known simply as "the phone company."


The funny thing about history is that anything you can recall seems to have taken place relatively recently, but anything you can't recall seems impossibly distant, even it's only a few years outside your frame of reference. Television as a common presence in the home was between 15-20 years old in my earliest memories, so still fairly new. But to me it was always "there," so I can't really get a sense of how massive a change in lifestyle it represented for people like my parents. It's the same thing with being online: my sisters' kids can't remember a world without it, but I never sent an email until I was well into my thirties.

 

[Polranny]

Hi Candi
Born in uk in 1949. First memory boarding the Queen Elizabeth at Southampton headed for N.Y..
My father was a military attaché. Drove from Arlington too Fort Bliss. Patchy memories of 2 years in the USA. First tv I saw was in uk, Queens coronation, 40 of us in a 20 x 15 room, tv set 10 inch screen!

 

[bellisarius]

WWII was the beginning of the end of the family.

My mother was from NY and my father from KY. Had it not been for WWII they probably never would have met.

The differences between the two families were as profound as they were similar.

Like all families they talked politics. Local, state, and federal. The NY family seemed to be more concerned with state and federal than local. The KY family were all about local and federal. On weekends it was a different story. The NY family, when they weren't talking politics, talked about sports, Ed Sullivan (they had TV), the latest game show, and entertainment in general all the while imbibing on the latest cocktail. The KY family got together on Sat. night at a cousin's house and those that played instruments did, the others sang along as the jug was passed.

The NY environment was totally electrified. Wring in the walls. The KY family had wiring installed as an after thought. Two wire's stapled to the walls. In retrospect it was like traveling between two different countries. And I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything.

 

[Dogoda]

I'd be perfectly happy if all cell phones died.

Riding a motorcycle would be more enjoyable and less life threatening.

 

[Jada59]

I was born in 1959. And I might be the odd one out here, but I think that younger people have it rougher in some respects than I did.

Sure when I was growing up, we didn't have Internet or cell phones. If we needed information, we either looked it up in some Encyclopedia or other book that we had at home but that could well be outdated information. Otherwise we had to go to the library for what still could be outdated information.

People thought that the news we saw in those days was truthful and to be believed. But was it? I don't think so. Sure, some of it might have been true but various sources certainly pushed a lot of untrue or at best partially true propaganda at us. I am one who tends to question things, especially when things don't sound right. I do think in those days, many people were far more trusting and accepting that they were being told the truth.

Sure there have been rebels since the dawn of time. We had Beatniks, Hippies, Draft Dodgers, blacks and women pushing for rights. But even then, those people were in the minority and many of them either not being taken seriously or in some cases, operating from flawed information.

Many families had only one car and that was usually used mainly by the bread winner in the family. The cars in those days were far easier to fix with they broke down and generally sturdier. Hit a thin tree trunk with a metal bumper and the bumper will likely win. But the cars also broke down far more often. The parts just weren't very reliable.

Males and females generally knew their roles and accepted them, up until some of the women started revolting. BTW, the infamous bra burnings simply did not happen. I believe that whole thing started with one woman who did it. The claim was that bra burnings were a common thing. Sure a few women here and there might have done it but it was not a widespread thing like we were led to believe.

What was common was Valium being prescribed like candy and mostly to women. This is the theme song from a movie about Valium. Sad song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xKkSSKmjbk

For a time, instead of taking action, women turned to drugs to blot out reality. Add in a few afternoon cocktails and you had a recipe for disaster. This is how I remember much of my childhood with my mom trying to get *me* to take the stuff too. I will add in here that my mom was and still is at nearly 85 years old now, a drug addict. Not street drugs that I know of but she does love her pills.

I feel like many of us from those years were a lost generation. Often left to fend for ourselves even if our moms didn't work. Moms would gather at other moms houses, get blotto and complain about their miserable lives while their children were left to fend for themselves. The children (mostly the daughters because in those days, males didn't usually cook or do housework) tried to hold the family together, cobbling together meals because mom might not have seen fit to have food shopped that week. We dined out a lot. Not everyone had that option.

By our teen years, many of us turned to drugs and alcohol because we needed an escape too! Divorce was less common in those days. We lived through terrible, sometimes continual fights at home. If not physical, then verbal. That was pretty much accepted. You just didn't talk about it and police were no help.

We were not taught to deal with things. We were taught to blot them out. My graduating class of 1977 has had more suicides than any other. That includes my best friend and a very famous stand up comedian who also wrote scripts for movies and TV shows that most here will know at least by name. He went to my school but I never knew him because he was a chronic school skipper and I never had any classes with him.

Then as a young adult, and a female, I suddenly had to support myself. Equality for women was only slightly better then. For the most part, men got the better and/or higher paying jobs. A male and a female at my company could hold the same job, same credentials and the male would get higher pay. That's when I began to revolt. I did get higher pay. But... I also had to put up with men at work doing or saying pretty much whatever they wanted to me and me just accepting it. I did also revolt there too. I should add that I am more accepting than a lot of women because I have a dirty mind. I like to talk dirty. I don't mind flirting. A swat on the bottom or things like that.


But try to overpower me and have your way with me when I'm not interested just because you're a male and my boss? Nope. And a guy did try that. I'd gone to the janitor's room for a mop and bucket. The bucket was a big metal one on wheels. This guy already had a bad reputation for forcing himself on women. When he tried to pin me to the wall, I grabbed the mop handle which by now was in the bucket of water and shoved it repeatedly into his shins.

He ran. I ran too, screaming and telling anyone who was around what happened. It was closing time so few customers were in the store. I had intended to file a formal complaint the next morning but I didn't have to. I was told that he was sent to another store in another state. That's how those things were handled (if they were handled at all) in those days.

Married women could not get credit in their name, could not buy a car without their husband being there. And some bars would not allow women to come in without a male accompanying them.

Around age 25 which is the age now where they say the brain is fully developed, I decided to change my life for the better.

Now that I have that off of my chest...

 

[Jada59]

Part two

Young adults today were often raised by babysitters, nannies, daycare, or sent to countless after school activities.

I worked at my daughter's school. Many of those kids called me mom. Most still do. I was there for them when their parents were not. I made an effort to do that and with my own daughter too. She did take many hours of dance but I was right there with her. Made sure that she had meals and all. I remember kids passing out from hunger. Someone dropped them off, left them for hours and no dinner until perhaps 10:00 pm.

They also had to learn and keep up with technology from an early age. This in addition to their other school work. And there was far too much make work homework. My daughter was up past midnight most nights doing homework. That's not right.

We finally made the decision to pull her out of school. She did online school. She finally began learning. Straight A's and graduated early!

I'm sure there are differences in upbringing that I am missing as our case was somewhat unique. Had my medical issues not hampered my ability to work, things might have been different.

The big differences though are college, housing, medical insurance and jobs.

I got my first apartment at 19. Lovely huge two bedroom townhouse with a small yard. I was working full time. Made a little more than minimum wage. My half of the rent/utilities was easily doable. Had enough money to dine out. Pretty much go where I wanted. Buy what I wanted.

Now? Rents in this area are insane! You usually have to pay for water/sewer/garbage and additional things like cable and Internet. I only paid electric and phone. We had cable available but it only gave a few more channels and I'm not a TV watcher.

Medical insurance was commonly available through one's employer. Often for free.

Jobs are abundant and there was far more variety. So much of what I could have been doing at age 25 is not even available as employment now. Fewer places have typing pools, secretaries or even receptionists. Things like keytags and comptometers are no longer used. Computers have replaced much of that stuff.

Now when there is an available job, it's likely only part time.

And college? Costs far more than it did in my day. Push those student loans. Grrr...

So overall, I think the young people have a harder time living when they reach adulthood.

 

[CandiCame]

Holy shit, Jada, that's fucked up.

I think a lot of my relatives have been pretty lucky as far as sexism goes because I've never heard any stories about that but also like... I'm probably not the one they would tell.

Also though it might be because Appalachia is kind of known for not putting up with that kind of bullshit because it'll straight up get you shot. Like 'disrespecting' a woman means that her brothers, cousins, who extended family will just straight up murder you. Even in my generation I've been told not to "fuck around with" certain women because even if it's consensual her family will try to kill you.

I'm not being hyperbolic. Like in that "who's seen a murder thread" when I talked about how it weird it was to me that a lot of people hadn't known anyone who had been murdered or had murdered someone, this kind of shit is why. Those kinds of things are still semi-common here.

You talking about women not being in bars shocked me, because a lot of old people stories are bar related. Also that's just weird as a concept because I don't know why you would go to a bar if not to pick up chicks. Like did people go to bars to drink? Did no one tell them that it's like 1/4 of the cost to take your ass to the house? Or was every bar a secret gay bar and it was a thing because it was harder to come out back then so it was like, a cover?

My mamaw hated bars but she frequently went because my papaw did (the same one who she married when she was 14) and apparently she used to be a barroom brawler which is like... buckwild to me. Because when I knew her she was old and you know, frail. But she was apparently SUPER jealous, like INSANELY jealous, and if somebody talked to her man she whooped that bitch's ass up one side of the bar and down the other.

And so like... I didn't believe these stories. But I know a lot of old people, because my great-grandparents just had a lot of friends and they'd come over for pig roasts and the like, and other people verified that this did, indeed, happen.

Which terrified me- notsomuch because I couldn't imagine her being a powerhouse, like I understand the concept that people are younger and stronger in their 20s than in their 80s+, but because if you do that math- she was pregnant for almost a decade and a half. Straight. So like... this woman was getting in barfights whoopin ass and taking names- PREGNANT.

So I went to her and I was like, "Hey what the fuck?"

And she was like, "Oh, yeah, I was worried that'd mark the baby. I'm pretty sure that's what's wrong with your uncle X. He never could stay out of a fight."

Which is true. He is a violent asshole. But also like... you can't... be acting... like that... today. You'll get arrested. And lose your kids. Like... I love my mamaw but fuuuuck.

To be fair to her, her older kids were plenty big enough to watch the younger ones so it wasn't like they were leaving them alone. But also like... that was considered perfectly normal back in the day. To this day it's still legal to bring a kid into a bar if they're on the tit, because of that culture of dumbassery.

I think people may have just been more violent in the past, in general. Because like... I'm not a violent person at all, really? I can count the number of fights I've been in on one hand. I've NEVER just been in a barroom brawl because somebody flirted with my lover. Like... ever. Not even once.

But every old person I know got into a huge fight like once a week in their youth. Like... I guess that's just what you did before the internet?

The thing about the cars is also insane but I actually knew it already. Cars weren't designed to collapse when they hit something and therefore didn't absorb the blow so crashes were deadlier. Then we upped the safety standards and now cars collapse when they hit something and absorb the shock before it gets to the passengers. Also, apparently when they were at their least safe was when people didn't wear seat-belts so basically any driving at all was a goddamn wing and a prayer.

I don't think the mama's little helpers ever went away. I think there are a lot of folks still sleeping with Prince Valium. My mom was also a pill head so I feel you. Except like... I did take them. I didn't know any better. I thought it was normal. So I was also just a pillhead up until very recently, like a few years ago. Hers wasn't all sedatives, though. She was more about narcotics. She used to be pretty big on oxis, loris, that kinda thing. Mommy always said that if there was something wrong with you and you had something to fix it but you didn't take it you were a fool.

 

[CandiCame]

Young adults today were often raised by babysitters, nannies, daycare, or sent to countless after school activities.

I worked at my daughter's school. Many of those kids called me mom. Most still do. I was there for them when their parents were not. I made an effort to do that and with my own daughter too. She did take many hours of dance but I was right there with her. Made sure that she had meals and all. I remember kids passing out from hunger. Someone dropped them off, left them for hours and no dinner until perhaps 10:00 pm.

That's really sweet.

I will say though that my knee-jerk reaction was, "They let those kids eat at dance class?" Because like... whhhhhyyyy?

I did that once and my ass learned not to do it again. You just power through that shit. You eat and then do an ab workout like that you'll get sick as a dog. It fucks you up real bad. Most dance teachers tell you not to feed the kids within a half hour of them being there because that studio will look like the set of the exorcist. Like maybe a smoothie or something but eating solid food before any kind of like dance or gymnastics or anything like that is a godawful idea. I've passed out from hunger too (I was one of those kids that got dropped off, my caregivers had shit to do, jobs to work and whatnot) but good lord I'd prefer that to ever eating in the middle of class. That's insane to me that they let you feed the kids at break. I'm almost positive that you're not supposed to. My abs started burning just thinking about it.

I just looked this up because the one time I ate at a dance class when I was little was like, almost traumatizing I got THAT sick, like it was a "do it once and learn your lesson" thing that I set a personal rule for myself so that even as a teenager when I had my own car and could go get food between the end of school and the beginning of class I didn't because I was scared to eat less than like 45 before class because I was so scared to go through that again. So apparently you CAN, but you have to be REAL careful about what you eat. Because if you eat meat or anything fried, or anything heavy at all, you will get ungodly sick like I did and you will hurt for a good 2 days after.

Eat some fruit, preferably with potassium, is the take-away. Maybe like some peanut butter.

http://www.dancetoevolve.com/blog/bid/241993/what-to-eat-drink-before-and-after-a-dance-class

I still wouldn't eat DURING a class, though.

I didn't mean to derail my own thread you just don't know how sick I got. I literally hurt for two days so bad I could barely walk. I don't want any other kid to go through that. I didn't know about the fruit thing. I was too scared to eat anything.

It says not to smoke on this site, btw and like psh. Good fucking luck with that. Try telling a group of teenagers pressured to be thin and focused not to smoke. That'll work until you turn your back.

 

[CandiCame]

The big differences though are college, housing, medical insurance and jobs.

I got my first apartment at 19. Lovely huge two bedroom townhouse with a small yard. I was working full time. Made a little more than minimum wage. My half of the rent/utilities was easily doable. Had enough money to dine out. Pretty much go where I wanted. Buy what I wanted.

Now? Rents in this area are insane! You usually have to pay for water/sewer/garbage and additional things like cable and Internet. I only paid electric and phone. We had cable available but it only gave a few more channels and I'm not a TV watcher.

Holy shit that's awesome! My first apartment was kind of expensive but I loved it and I had a... I had money. My situation was also unique because I had a way to make money that was actually decent, but we took a big hit when two of our roommates moved out. But yeah, it's definitely different. I hate to think what college is gonna cost in the future. I miss that apartment a lot, sometimes.

 

[bellisarius]

Holy shit, Jada, that's fucked up.

I think a lot of my relatives have been pretty lucky as far as sexism goes because I've never heard any stories about that but also like... I'm probably not the one they would tell.

Also though it might be because Appalachia is kind of known for not putting up with that kind of bullshit because it'll straight up get you shot. Like 'disrespecting' a woman means that her brothers, cousins, who extended family will just straight up murder you. Even in my generation I've been told not to "fuck around with" certain women because even if it's consensual her family will try to kill you.

I'm not being hyperbolic. Like in that "who's seen a murder thread" when I talked about how it weird it was to me that a lot of people hadn't known anyone who had been murdered or had murdered someone, this kind of shit is why. Those kinds of things are still semi-common here.

You talking about women not being in bars shocked me, because a lot of old people stories are bar related. Also that's just weird as a concept because I don't know why you would go to a bar if not to pick up chicks. Like did people go to bars to drink? Did no one tell them that it's like 1/4 of the cost to take your ass to the house? Or was every bar a secret gay bar and it was a thing because it was harder to come out back then so it was like, a cover?

My mamaw hated bars but she frequently went because my papaw did (the same one who she married when she was 14) and apparently she used to be a barroom brawler which is like... buckwild to me. Because when I knew her she was old and you know, frail. But she was apparently SUPER jealous, like INSANELY jealous, and if somebody talked to her man she whooped that bitch's ass up one side of the bar and down the other.

And so like... I didn't believe these stories. But I know a lot of old people, because my great-grandparents just had a lot of friends and they'd come over for pig roasts and the like, and other people verified that this did, indeed, happen.

Which terrified me- notsomuch because I couldn't imagine her being a powerhouse, like I understand the concept that people are younger and stronger in their 20s than in their 80s+, but because if you do that math- she was pregnant for almost a decade and a half. Straight. So like... this woman was getting in barfights whoopin ass and taking names- PREGNANT.

So I went to her and I was like, "Hey what the fuck?"

And she was like, "Oh, yeah, I was worried that'd mark the baby. I'm pretty sure that's what's wrong with your uncle X. He never could stay out of a fight."

Which is true. He is a violent asshole. But also like... you can't... be acting... like that... today. You'll get arrested. And lose your kids. Like... I love my mamaw but fuuuuck.

To be fair to her, her older kids were plenty big enough to watch the younger ones so it wasn't like they were leaving them alone. But also like... that was considered perfectly normal back in the day. To this day it's still legal to bring a kid into a bar if they're on the tit, because of that culture of dumbassery.

I think people may have just been more violent in the past, in general. Because like... I'm not a violent person at all, really? I can count the number of fights I've been in on one hand. I've NEVER just been in a barroom brawl because somebody flirted with my lover. Like... ever. Not even once.

But every old person I know got into a huge fight like once a week in their youth. Like... I guess that's just what you did before the internet?

The thing about the cars is also insane but I actually knew it already. Cars weren't designed to collapse when they hit something and therefore didn't absorb the blow so crashes were deadlier. Then we upped the safety standards and now cars collapse when they hit something and absorb the shock before it gets to the passengers. Also, apparently when they were at their least safe was when people didn't wear seat-belts so basically any driving at all was a goddamn wing and a prayer.

I don't think the mama's little helpers ever went away. I think there are a lot of folks still sleeping with Prince Valium. My mom was also a pill head so I feel you. Except like... I did take them. I didn't know any better. I thought it was normal. So I was also just a pillhead up until very recently, like a few years ago. Hers wasn't all sedatives, though. She was more about narcotics. She used to be pretty big on oxis, loris, that kinda thing. Mommy always said that if there was something wrong with you and you had something to fix it but you didn't take it you were a fool.

Still all about you huh?

Wanna count the "I"s in your post? I've quoted it for posterity you self-centered little twit.

You had your chance to start an interesting thread and turned into just another opinion piece.

 

[CandiCame]

They also had to learn and keep up with technology from an early age. This in addition to their other school work. And there was far too much make work homework. My daughter was up past midnight most nights doing homework. That's not right.

I've heard a LOT of people talk about the homework thing, that there didn't used to be as much homework. That's one thing I am envious of.

A lot of teenagers like someone (me and everyone I knew) get hooked on uppers because you just can't sleep. You go to school, go to work, go to your extracurriculors, do your homework, then it's like 4am and you have to get up at 5 to get ready for school- so catch my ass at 6 in the morning driving to school drinking shitty gas station coffee (or if you're a cool alternateen a Jones Soda) with a cigarette and a handful of yellowjackets.

I miss Jones. I don't see it a lot anymore.

 

[CandiCame]

candi, the best thing you can do is not to get tangled in conversations with those posters. they bring nothing to the table but noise and bad manners.

Yeah I'm just gonna put them on iggy. Life's too short and all that.

 

[CandiCame]

I was thinking recently: imagine telling a young person today that not so very long ago, there was an entity that was known simply as "the phone company."

That's so ominous.

 

[CandiCame]

Jesus. Born in the 30s. How old do you think we are?

Wait. I’m excited. I think this makes me young here.

Someone mentioned that they were born in the 30s. That's what inspired me to make this thread!

 

[Matthew Craig]

Yeah I'm just gonna put them on iggy. Life's too short and all that.

I fucked your mom and her pussy was full of shit. After i shit in it of course.

 

[Jada59]

I do apologize for having to keep adding to my second reply. For some reason the Lit demons kept making my words go *poof*. I must have typed out at least a dozen replies so finally gave up and kept posting every few sentences and then submitting.

 

[CandiCame]

I do apologize for having to keep adding to my second reply. For some reason the Lit demons kept making my words go *poof*. I must have typed out at least a dozen replies so finally gave up and kept posting every few sentences and then submitting.

I'm sorry I made a bunch of different posts. You just had a lot of really cool stuff!

And some horrifying stuff. Like real talk I am so sorry you had to go through that. He tried to trap you in a broom closet? The fuck did he think was going to happen? There is no outcome where he doesn't get his ass beat eventually.

 

[Comshaw]

I understand what you mean about being interested in others story. As a younger man in my early 30's I had a guy that lived a mile down the road from me. I was building a house and from time to time I'd go visit him. It seems that in 1917-1918 he logged the creek canyon that runs through my property from right where my house sits, using a steam donkey and a hard rubber tired Mac truck.

My wife's grandfather also lived and worked here. He was a cat skinner and helped build almost every road in this county. I'd sit for hours listening to them tell me their tales, oral history of my part of the world. The only regret I have is I wasn't smart enough, or aware enough to buy a tape recorder and record those conversations.

That being said, if you want to here about the life of a common man, you found one. Soooooo......

I was raised here in the far northwest corner of the continental U.S. I say raised because I was born in Muskogee Oklahoma, but when I was 6 months old my entire immediate family, my mom, dad, grandparents, 4 uncles and 2 aunts, pulled up stakes and moved up here looking for work.

When I was 5 I was taking a nap with my dad. My mom had a psychotic break ( she was an undiagnosed Schizophrenic) walked into the bedroom and shot my dad in the stomach with a .22 caliber pistol. In her defense my dad had been beating on her since they were married. I think that was part of the reason she broke.

Anyway, it didn't kill him. The bullet lodged in his back bone. How it kept from severing his spinal cord I have no idea, but he had a hole in one of his vertebra from that bullet. After that my grand parents became me and my siblings guardians. My dad lived with us but my grand parents had legal guardian ship of us.

7 of us (grand parents, my dad, one uncle and me and my three siblings) lived in a four room house (two bedrooms, a living room and a kitchen, we used an out house) way the hell back in the dingle berries. How far back? Well, If you stepped out my back door and headed south, after passing the neighbors house you wouldn't see another building for 100 miles, until you got the the other side of the mountains. Consequently my younger years were spent exploring the back woods. By the time I was 11 I'd steal my dad's single shot Springfield .22 and as many rounds as I could (usually 4 or 5) and disappear for the day fishing the creek that was a few miles from my house. I'd always come home with some trout and a rabbit or grouse, but my old man would hide me anyway because I went without permission.

His hidings weren't any fun. He'd get drunk, then hand me or my brother his pocket knife. We'd go out in the yard and cut four or five thin willow switches. He'd use them untill they were broke, then send us to bed. Many times I'd wake in the morning stuck to the sheets with dried blood. I still carry the mementos of those times on my back.

In my early teens I worked for the local farmers changing sprinkler pipe. For $60.00 a month ( a fortune to us back then) twice a day everyday for three hours each time, I'd shut off the irrigation pump, move the sprinkler pipe, in 20' sections, reconnect it and then turn the pump back on.

In my later teens I cut pulp wood. At that time the pulp mills still had manually feed grinders and they used 4' pieces in those grinders. We'd go out to a logged off area and pick through the slash, cutting 4' pieces until we had a truck load, then take it to the mill and sell it.

We also cut shake bolts (blocks 18 to 24" long of Western red Cedar) when we found a log while cutting pulp wood. There were a lot of those in the late 60's. They were always 2-3 feet in diameter and left over from the first cut back in the late 1800 and early 1900's. Back then they were cutting trees that were 18' to 24' in diameter and anything less then 3' was cut to get it out of the way and left.

It was a different time. to illustrate, in my late teens I lived with a group of guys on an old farm farther back in the foothills then where I was raised. We were all motorheads and as such we all built ourselves a rail. That's what we called them anyway. All they were: a car frame with an engine and cowling, a seat bolted to the frame and rudimentary controls. Some didn't even have brakes. One of my friends brakes for his was a screw driver stuck through a loop in the end of the parking brake cable. He always had to have a co pilot because when he wanted to stop, he'd yell "BRAKES" and the co pilot would jerk on the screwdriver, locking up the rear wheels and they would slide to stop. That particular one was a 56 Pontiac. We had a whole range, from a 1937 Whippet to a 59 Ford.

Anyway we'd run these contraptions up and down the road. Nobody lived close so no one complained. One day we were at a local restaurant having supper (a large plate of fries split three ways, none of us had much money) and we got to talking with a county Sheriff Deputy who we knew. We told him we were going to get a keg of beer and go have party at the ranch. His response?

"Do what you want, but don't come down past the school house." The school house was an old 19th century school house half way down the mountain. Above it we were the only ones, below was other houses.

We didn't really have any intention of doing what we said we were going to, but it worked out that we did. Around 2 AM we were all well lubricated and someone yelled,"Hey I wonder if Deputy **** is down at the school house?"

Someone else yelled,"Well let's go see!"

We jumped on the rails and headed down the hill. When we slid into the parking lot next to the school, he had his police cruiser parked next to the building. He got out of the car, pointed back up the hill and said,"Get your asses back up there." We waved and headed back up the hill. Keep in mind we were driving things that shouldn't have been on the road, some by flash light because they had no headlights. As long as we didn't bother anyone else he didn't care what we did to have fun.

Anyway I could go on, tel you about my experience in the little shootum up we had over in southeast asia, why I went, what happened when I got home and the reaction from others when I came home, but that would take some time and I'm out of it for now.

Comshaw

 

[CandiCame]

Comshaw, that's fucking great. I mean the part about building cars ala Mad Max and corrupt cops- not about your parents. That's not great that's awful.

But the Mad Max thing is fucking great! That so insane! Fucking, "BRAKE" and shit IDK how y'all didn't die.

Edit: Also that would have been so cool if you could have taped those stories from those old folks you knew. That's way back.

 

[Jada59]

Holy shit, Jada, that's fucked up.

I think a lot of my relatives have been pretty lucky as far as sexism goes because I've never heard any stories about that but also like... I'm probably not the one they would tell.

Also though it might be because Appalachia is kind of known for not putting up with that kind of bullshit because it'll straight up get you shot. Like 'disrespecting' a woman means that her brothers, cousins, who extended family will just straight up murder you. Even in my generation I've been told not to "fuck around with" certain women because even if it's consensual her family will try to kill you.

I'm not being hyperbolic. Like in that "who's seen a murder thread" when I talked about how it weird it was to me that a lot of people hadn't known anyone who had been murdered or had murdered someone, this kind of shit is why. Those kinds of things are still semi-common here.

You talking about women not being in bars shocked me, because a lot of old people stories are bar related. Also that's just weird as a concept because I don't know why you would go to a bar if not to pick up chicks. Like did people go to bars to drink? Did no one tell them that it's like 1/4 of the cost to take your ass to the house? Or was every bar a secret gay bar and it was a thing because it was harder to come out back then so it was like, a cover?

My mamaw hated bars but she frequently went because my papaw did (the same one who she married when she was 14) and apparently she used to be a barroom brawler which is like... buckwild to me. Because when I knew her she was old and you know, frail. But she was apparently SUPER jealous, like INSANELY jealous, and if somebody talked to her man she whooped that bitch's ass up one side of the bar and down the other.

And so like... I didn't believe these stories. But I know a lot of old people, because my great-grandparents just had a lot of friends and they'd come over for pig roasts and the like, and other people verified that this did, indeed, happen.

Which terrified me- notsomuch because I couldn't imagine her being a powerhouse, like I understand the concept that people are younger and stronger in their 20s than in their 80s+, but because if you do that math- she was pregnant for almost a decade and a half. Straight. So like... this woman was getting in barfights whoopin ass and taking names- PREGNANT.

So I went to her and I was like, "Hey what the fuck?"

And she was like, "Oh, yeah, I was worried that'd mark the baby. I'm pretty sure that's what's wrong with your uncle X. He never could stay out of a fight."

Which is true. He is a violent asshole. But also like... you can't... be acting... like that... today. You'll get arrested. And lose your kids. Like... I love my mamaw but fuuuuck.

To be fair to her, her older kids were plenty big enough to watch the younger ones so it wasn't like they were leaving them alone. But also like... that was considered perfectly normal back in the day. To this day it's still legal to bring a kid into a bar if they're on the tit, because of that culture of dumbassery.

I think people may have just been more violent in the past, in general. Because like... I'm not a violent person at all, really? I can count the number of fights I've been in on one hand. I've NEVER just been in a barroom brawl because somebody flirted with my lover. Like... ever. Not even once.

But every old person I know got into a huge fight like once a week in their youth. Like... I guess that's just what you did before the internet?

The thing about the cars is also insane but I actually knew it already. Cars weren't designed to collapse when they hit something and therefore didn't absorb the blow so crashes were deadlier. Then we upped the safety standards and now cars collapse when they hit something and absorb the shock before it gets to the passengers. Also, apparently when they were at their least safe was when people didn't wear seat-belts so basically any driving at all was a goddamn wing and a prayer.

I don't think the mama's little helpers ever went away. I think there are a lot of folks still sleeping with Prince Valium. My mom was also a pill head so I feel you. Except like... I did take them. I didn't know any better. I thought it was normal. So I was also just a pillhead up until very recently, like a few years ago. Hers wasn't all sedatives, though. She was more about narcotics. She used to be pretty big on oxis, loris, that kinda thing. Mommy always said that if there was something wrong with you and you had something to fix it but you didn't take it you were a fool.

Appalachia has always intrigued me. My ex husband's family lives somewhat near there. But closer to the Poconos. I've tried to buy books about the area but am coming up pretty dry. I have one that I started but it's more like history and statistics and not about people's real lives.

I lived in Wichita until I was 7 and it was totally different than the Seattle area where we moved to. I do "get" the differences in different parts of the coiuntry.

Heck, in Wichita in those days there were no bars. It was almost a "dry" area. You could drink at home but if you wanted to go out for a drink, you had to join a supper club and bring your own liquor. The bottle or bottles were kept on a shelf with your name on them. They could do mixed drinks. They supplied the rest. You supplied the liquor.

When we moved here, I think you could buy liquor on Sundays. I could be wrong on that. But you could not buy meat. Weird, huh? Could get meat in a restaurant but not a grocery store. They were not allowed to sell it.

I do think women could get into most bars back then. But some had a sign stating "No unacompanied women". They also had two entrances. One for single men and another for couples. A man could take two women in. But two women couldn't go together. I remember begging two guy friends to take me into one such bar near where we lived but they refused.

 

[Colonel Hogan]

I was born in 1949. Almost no houses had central air conditioning. Rich people might have a window AC unit or two. You cooled the house in summer by opening the windows and using electric fans. A few public buildings (like movie theaters) which had AC boasted of the luxury.

NBC made the first coast-to-coast color broadcast when it telecast the Tournament of Roses Parade on January 1, 1954. And, along with CBS, they were the only two national networks in most markets. My city did not have an ABC affiliate until 1961.

When your TV broke down (like a tube burned out), a serviceman came to your house to fix it. You would no more take it IN somewhere than you would strap a broken washing machine to the top of your car.

Telephones were rotary dial. No push buttons until the 60s -- and they were optional for a LONG time. Long distance was a very big deal (expensive) in the United States. International long distance was unheard of. And all long distance calls went through a live switchboard operator. Cell phones did not exist.

When I was seven years old my father read me a newspaper story that President Eisenhower had signed the Federal-Aid Highway Act of (June 29)1956 which would eventually make it possible to drive the family car non-stop (except for gas -- no traffic lights) from our house in Kentucky to Florida where we often vacationed.

I thought my dad had gone nuts.

I remember when polio was a common illness, and I remember the introduction of the Salk and Sabin vaccines that effectively eradicated it.

There were no microwave ovens.

There was no such thing as weather radar or satellites. Weather forecasting was primarily predicting on the basis of barometric readings of cities to the west and prevailing wind patterns.

Those were a few of my slices of early life.

 

[Jada59]

Holy shit, Jada, that's fucked up.

I think a lot of my relatives have been pretty lucky as far as sexism goes because I've never heard any stories about that but also like... I'm probably not the one they would tell.

Also though it might be because Appalachia is kind of known for not putting up with that kind of bullshit because it'll straight up get you shot. Like 'disrespecting' a woman means that her brothers, cousins, who extended family will just straight up murder you. Even in my generation I've been told not to "fuck around with" certain women because even if it's consensual her family will try to kill you.

I'm not being hyperbolic. Like in that "who's seen a murder thread" when I talked about how it weird it was to me that a lot of people hadn't known anyone who had been murdered or had murdered someone, this kind of shit is why. Those kinds of things are still semi-common here.

You talking about women not being in bars shocked me, because a lot of old people stories are bar related. Also that's just weird as a concept because I don't know why you would go to a bar if not to pick up chicks. Like did people go to bars to drink? Did no one tell them that it's like 1/4 of the cost to take your ass to the house? Or was every bar a secret gay bar and it was a thing because it was harder to come out back then so it was like, a cover?

My mamaw hated bars but she frequently went because my papaw did (the same one who she married when she was 14) and apparently she used to be a barroom brawler which is like... buckwild to me. Because when I knew her she was old and you know, frail. But she was apparently SUPER jealous, like INSANELY jealous, and if somebody talked to her man she whooped that bitch's ass up one side of the bar and down the other.

And so like... I didn't believe these stories. But I know a lot of old people, because my great-grandparents just had a lot of friends and they'd come over for pig roasts and the like, and other people verified that this did, indeed, happen.

Which terrified me- notsomuch because I couldn't imagine her being a powerhouse, like I understand the concept that people are younger and stronger in their 20s than in their 80s+, but because if you do that math- she was pregnant for almost a decade and a half. Straight. So like... this woman was getting in barfights whoopin ass and taking names- PREGNANT.

So I went to her and I was like, "Hey what the fuck?"

And she was like, "Oh, yeah, I was worried that'd mark the baby. I'm pretty sure that's what's wrong with your uncle X. He never could stay out of a fight."

Which is true. He is a violent asshole. But also like... you can't... be acting... like that... today. You'll get arrested. And lose your kids. Like... I love my mamaw but fuuuuck.

To be fair to her, her older kids were plenty big enough to watch the younger ones so it wasn't like they were leaving them alone. But also like... that was considered perfectly normal back in the day. To this day it's still legal to bring a kid into a bar if they're on the tit, because of that culture of dumbassery.

I think people may have just been more violent in the past, in general. Because like... I'm not a violent person at all, really? I can count the number of fights I've been in on one hand. I've NEVER just been in a barroom brawl because somebody flirted with my lover. Like... ever. Not even once.

But every old person I know got into a huge fight like once a week in their youth. Like... I guess that's just what you did before the internet?

The thing about the cars is also insane but I actually knew it already. Cars weren't designed to collapse when they hit something and therefore didn't absorb the blow so crashes were deadlier. Then we upped the safety standards and now cars collapse when they hit something and absorb the shock before it gets to the passengers. Also, apparently when they were at their least safe was when people didn't wear seat-belts so basically any driving at all was a goddamn wing and a prayer.

I don't think the mama's little helpers ever went away. I think there are a lot of folks still sleeping with Prince Valium. My mom was also a pill head so I feel you. Except like... I did take them. I didn't know any better. I thought it was normal. So I was also just a pillhead up until very recently, like a few years ago. Hers wasn't all sedatives, though. She was more about narcotics. She used to be pretty big on oxis, loris, that kinda thing. Mommy always said that if there was something wrong with you and you had something to fix it but you didn't take it you were a fool.

Appalachia has always intrigued me. My ex husband's family lives somewhat near there. But closer to the Poconos. I've tried to buy books about the area but am coming up pretty dry. I have one that I started but it's more like history and statistics and not about people's real lives.

I lived in Wichita until I was 7 and it was totally different than the Seattle area where we moved to. I do "get" the differences in different parts of the coiuntry.

Heck, in Wichita in those days there were no bars. It was almost a "dry" area. You could drink at home but if you wanted to go out for a drink, you had to join a supper club and bring your own liquor. The bottle or bottles were kept on a shelf with your name on them. They could do mixed drinks. They supplied the rest. You supplied the liquor.

When we moved here, I think you could buy liquor on Sundays. I could be wrong on that. But you could not buy meat. Weird, huh? Could get meat in a restaurant but not a grocery store. They were not allowed to sell it.

I do think women could get into most bars back then. But some had a sign stating "No unacompanied women". They also had two entrances. One for single men and another for couples. A man could take two women in. But two women couldn't go together. I remember begging two guy friends to take me into one such bar near where we lived but they refused.

 

[Colonel Hogan]

I was born in 1949. Almost no houses had central air conditioning. Rich people might have a window AC unit or two. You cooled the house in summer by opening the windows and using electric fans. A few public buildings (like movie theaters) which had AC boasted of the luxury.

NBC made the first coast-to-coast color broadcast when it telecast the Tournament of Roses Parade on January 1, 1954. And, along with CBS, they were the only two national networks in most markets. My city did not have an ABC affiliate until 1961.

When your TV broke down (like a tube burned out), a serviceman came to your house to fix it. You would no more take it IN somewhere than you would strap a broken washing machine to the top of your car.

Telephones were rotary dial. No push buttons until the 60s -- and they were optional for a LONG time. Long distance was a very big deal (expensive) in the United States. International long distance was unheard of. And all long distance calls went through a live switchboard operator. Cell phones did not exist.

When I was seven years old my father read me a newspaper story that President Eisenhower had signed the Federal-Aid Highway Act of (June 29)1956 which would eventually make it possible to drive the family car non-stop (except for gas -- no traffic lights) from our house in Kentucky to Florida where we often vacationed.

I thought my dad had gone nuts.

I remember when polio was a common illness, and I remember the introduction of the Salk and Sabin vaccines that effectively eradicated it.

There were no microwave ovens.

There was no such thing as weather radar or satellites. Weather forecasting was primarily predicting on the basis of barometric readings of cities to the west and prevailing wind patterns.

Those were a few of my slices of early life.

 

[Comshaw]

Comshaw, that's fucking great. I mean the part about building cars ala Mad Max and corrupt cops- not about your parents. That's not great that's awful.

But the Mad Max thing is fucking great! That so insane! Fucking, "BRAKE" and shit IDK how y'all didn't die.

Edit: Also that would have been so cool if you could have taped those stories from those old folks you knew. That's way back.

I wish I'd have been a bit smarter back then. That oral history they told me would make a wonderful book. I can remember some of it but a lot of it has gone by by out of my memory. The curse of a lot of years and an old brain. As far as surviving, if I listed all the things I've made it through, no one would believe it so I'm not going to waste my time detailing it. Suffice it to say I've walked the edge many times and have had the extraordinary luck not to be taken...so far.

Comshaw

 

[Jada59]

That's really sweet.

I will say though that my knee-jerk reaction was, "They let those kids eat at dance class?" Because like... whhhhhyyyy?

I did that once and my ass learned not to do it again. You just power through that shit. You eat and then do an ab workout like that you'll get sick as a dog. It fucks you up real bad. Most dance teachers tell you not to feed the kids within a half hour of them being there because that studio will look like the set of the exorcist. Like maybe a smoothie or something but eating solid food before any kind of like dance or gymnastics or anything like that is a godawful idea. I've passed out from hunger too (I was one of those kids that got dropped off, my caregivers had shit to do, jobs to work and whatnot) but good lord I'd prefer that to ever eating in the middle of class. That's insane to me that they let you feed the kids at break. I'm almost positive that you're not supposed to. My abs started burning just thinking about it.

I just looked this up because the one time I ate at a dance class when I was little was like, almost traumatizing I got THAT sick, like it was a "do it once and learn your lesson" thing that I set a personal rule for myself so that even as a teenager when I had my own car and could go get food between the end of school and the beginning of class I didn't because I was scared to eat less than like 45 before class because I was so scared to go through that again. So apparently you CAN, but you have to be REAL careful about what you eat. Because if you eat meat or anything fried, or anything heavy at all, you will get ungodly sick like I did and you will hurt for a good 2 days after.

Eat some fruit, preferably with potassium, is the take-away. Maybe like some peanut butter.

http://www.dancetoevolve.com/blog/bid/241993/what-to-eat-drink-before-and-after-a-dance-class

I still wouldn't eat DURING a class, though.

I didn't mean to derail my own thread you just don't know how sick I got. I literally hurt for two days so bad I could barely walk. I don't want any other kid to go through that. I didn't know about the fruit thing. I was too scared to eat anything.

It says not to smoke on this site, btw and like psh. Good fucking luck with that. Try telling a group of teenagers pressured to be thin and focused not to smoke. That'll work until you turn your back.

It's a Pre-Pro school. Typical for a kid to go straight from school then be there till 9-10 at night. Sometimes 4 times a week. They made it easy for kids to eat. Tried to allow an hour or two break in there. If not, then 10 minutes between classes. They had a kitchenette, and snacks/drinks for sale behind the reception counter. The parent could even buy a snack card so the student didn't have to bring money.

But.. These kids were dropped off by another parent or an older sibling. The parent never thought about food and in some cases even refused to buy the snack card. I always kept a balance on my daughter's and told her she could use it for others. I also sometimes left food in the kitchenette like a big tub of energy snacks from Costco.

As for smoking, I started at 12. I don't smoke now.