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Light bulb jokes

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Kirkrapine

Literotica Guru
Joined
Sep 24, 2018
Posts
5,538
How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
100: One to screw in the new one, and 99 to try to figure out what to do with the old one! :eek:

How many tech support guys does it take to change a light bulb?
Usually, none -- if you just leave the house and come back in again, the light bulb will be working.

How many Maoists does it take to change a light bulb?
100: One to change the light bulb, and 99 to chant "Fight darkness!"

How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?
None -- the light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution!

How many supply-side economists does it take to change a light bulb?
None -- the darkness will cause the light bulb to change itself.

How many Microsoft techs does it take to change a light bulb?
None -- they just reset the industry standard to darkness.

How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "Never mind, I'll just sit here in the dark."

How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one -- but it takes 50 visits.

How many Dadaists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: One to fetch the giraffe, and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: One to change the light bulb, and one to confuse the issue.

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A fish!
 
How many BBs does it take to change a light bulb?


Doesn't matter how many, they're all too stupid. They'll just create a ruckus, sucking beers and sling slurs at it. Then watch in awe when the Hispanic Engineer does it with no effort before they start yelling 'send her back, send her back!!'
 
Kirkrapine said:
How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
100: One to screw in the new one, and 99 to try to figure out what to do with the old one! :eek:

How many tech support guys does it take to change a light bulb?
Usually, none -- if you just leave the house and come back in again, the light bulb will be working.

How many Maoists does it take to change a light bulb?
100: One to change the light bulb, and 99 to chant "Fight darkness!"

How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?
None -- the light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution!

How many supply-side economists does it take to change a light bulb?
None -- the darkness will cause the light bulb to change itself.

How many Microsoft techs does it take to change a light bulb?
None -- they just reset the industry standard to darkness.

How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "Never mind, I'll just sit here in the dark."

How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one -- but it takes 50 visits.

How many Dadaists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: One to fetch the giraffe, and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: One to change the light bulb, and one to confuse the issue.

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A fish!
Click to expand...

fucking LIBERAL

even its "jokes" are pathetic:mad:
 
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
How long have you had this fantasy?
 
how many JAP's does it take to change a lightbulb?

4. one to screw in the bulb, 3 to get the diet pepsi's.

how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

lightbulb?
 
How many Hedonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two if you can figure out how to get them in the light bulb.
 
Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.

Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he’s busy.

Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh?

Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp.

Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls.

Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Boxer: Why change it? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Australian Shepherd: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle…

Old English Sheep dog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?

Basset Hound: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs — people change light bulbs. I am not one of THEM so the question is, how long before I can expect my light again?
 
How many singers does is take to change a light bulb?
One, this just hold it and let the world revolve around them.

How many union electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
5, you got a problem with that?

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
The keyboard player just does it with his left hand.
 
BotanyBoy: Define "screw".

BB: Here's a light bulb! Here's another light bulb! Here's yet another light bulb! That's 3 bulbs in 30 seconds!! WHY AREN'T YOU PEOPLE SEEING THE LIGHT?!!

Lance:: I heard x screwed a light bulb. Which means you should pay attention to me.

dolf: I'm so over GB light bulbs. (And yet here I am, turning one on.)

EllieTalbot: No passive aggression here. Smashing Light Bulbs in Syracuse - Ellie

Ann: It takes 5 of me to screw in one you'll bother to look at.

Mello_SixtyNine: (picture of light bulb) (picture of light bulb) (picture of light bulb) (picture of light bulb) (picture of light bulb) (animated gif of light bulb)

RoryN: I predicted that bulb was gonna go out.

cleaver:
yeah but
ror-ror cheated
because it was a bad bulb
to begin with

xfrodobagginsx: Whether or not the bulb is replaced is up to God's will. (That, and homosexuality, which is an evil type of screwing.)

LT / LJ: Male feminists will say anything to screw those light bulbs.

GiaCat: Your funny, light bulbs aren't hard too screw in, there easy.
 
LED bulbs don't need to be bulbs so why are they? Make us at ease with using them? Simple marketing? Some techno reason involving LED's that I don't understand because that's not what I do and I'm impressed with myself just for knowing what LED stands for without using Google.
Also, those twisty fluorescent bulbs that were in vogue for about 30 seconds. Those things sucked.
 
rae (bunchofnumbers)

Don't bother me about silly things like light bulbs, I'm too busy changing my AV every couple of minutes.
 
RoryN said:
Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.

Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he’s busy.

Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh?

Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp.

Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls.

Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Boxer: Why change it? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Australian Shepherd: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle…

Old English Sheep dog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?

Basset Hound: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs — people change light bulbs. I am not one of THEM so the question is, how long before I can expect my light again?
Click to expand...

Now THIS is funny

Shame...Rory can be so entertaining....but more often then not he is https://t3.ftcdn.net/jpg/00/59/67/10/500_F_59671005_TI41xtSscBlPxM8saa0cr7VVJKNZBmAV.jpg
 
RoryN said:
BotanyBoy: Define "screw".

BB: Here's a light bulb! Here's another light bulb! Here's yet another light bulb! That's 3 bulbs in 30 seconds!! WHY AREN'T YOU PEOPLE SEEING THE LIGHT?!!

Lance:: I heard x screwed a light bulb. Which means you should pay attention to me.

dolf: I'm so over GB light bulbs. (And yet here I am, turning one on.)

EllieTalbot: No passive aggression here. Smashing Light Bulbs in Syracuse - Ellie

Ann: It takes 5 of me to screw in one you'll bother to look at.

Mello_SixtyNine: (picture of light bulb) (picture of light bulb) (picture of light bulb) (picture of light bulb) (picture of light bulb) (animated gif of light bulb)

RoryN: I predicted that bulb was gonna go out.

cleaver:
yeah but
ror-ror cheated
because it was a bad bulb
to begin with

xfrodobagginsx: Whether or not the bulb is replaced is up to God's will. (That, and homosexuality, which is an evil type of screwing.)

LT / LJ: Male feminists will say anything to screw those light bulbs.

GiaCat: Your funny, light bulbs aren't hard too screw in, there easy.
Click to expand...

Now yet ANOTHER example of what Rory can be




and yet


he chooses otherwise
 
How many sluts does it take to change a lightbulb?
One- we love to screw.

How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one if the lightbulb really wants to change.

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, Nikola Tesla, who won't get $50,000 for it.

How many incels does it take to change a lightbulb?
We don't know. No matter how many we send they just stand around bitching that it won't automatically screw.

How many GB deplorables does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one to hold it while the universe revolves around him.

Bonus: How did the millennial burn his hand?
Changed a lightbulb before it was cool.
 
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