When I was addicted to porn

[MattIsRight]

When I was addicted to porn, and when I became mega successful, I combined the two. I went on Model Mayhem, and bought myself models. I would meet them at work (I am in entertainment) and I knew they would been impressed.
I enjoyed the power dynamic. I enjoyed their fear.
One single mom (has subsequently become a born again Christian) had moved to the west coast from Alabama with children and delusions.
Her tits were deflated... and I put them in a bookmark folder and forgot about them. The folder was found by my late wife. She pointed out my description of the woman;
"Crissy with small natural tits" . She began to ask me questions "what was she like , did you fuck her, what else was there to her other than what I had summed her up to be; "Crissy with small natural tits"? I told my wife she was 'bugging me'.
But It was not my wife's fault that she married a man who lived a double life. It is my fault for not trusting someone who Loved me. It is my fault that I compartmentalized every woman ever (every woman was fuckable...one of my Sugars called me a Satyr and made a mock up of me as a Satyr chasing her with the caption "no woman was safe". I left it out as a coffee table gag). I went down on the entire neighborhood. No One was subtle around my wife. They all let her know that I had pleasured them. I was proud of it. I was proud that I easily seduced my hiking partner's wife ("no one will ever know ", I reassured her while adjusting the angle of my charger/camera) ... My wife found the pictures, and I told her she was "crazy". She began to doubt herself, and I thought "I am home free". Then I lost everything. My wife, my children, the respect of my friends and family.

 

[Ann_Tagonist]

https://rmbsi.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/1.jpg

 

[rae121452]

When I was addicted to porn, and when I became mega successful, I combined the two. I went on Model Mayhem, and bought myself models. I would meet them at work (I am in entertainment) and I knew they would been impressed.
I enjoyed the power dynamic. I enjoyed their fear.
One single mom (has subsequently become a born again Christian) had moved to the west coast from Alabama with children and delusions.
Her tits were deflated... and I put them in a bookmark folder and forgot about them. The folder was found by my late wife. She pointed out my description of the woman;
"Crissy with small natural tits" . She began to ask me questions "what was she like , did you fuck her, what else was there to her other than what I had summed her up to be; "Crissy with small natural tits"? I told my wife she was 'bugging me'.
But It was not my wife's fault that she married a man who lived a double life. It is my fault for not trusting someone who Loved me. It is my fault that I compartmentalized every woman ever (every woman was fuckable...one of my Sugars called me a Satyr and made a mock up of me as a Satyr chasing her with the caption "no woman was safe". I left it out as a coffee table gag). I went down on the entire neighborhood. No One was subtle around my wife. They all let her know that I had pleasured them. I was proud of it. I was proud that I easily seduced my hiking partner's wife ("no one will ever know ", I reassured her while adjusting the angle of my charger/camera) ... My wife found the pictures, and I told her she was "crazy". She began to doubt herself, and I thought "I am home free". Then I lost everything. My wife, my children, the respect of my friends and family.

and then you woke up. yeah, yeah, they used the same plot on "dallas"

 

[Hal9000_]

ALL that? Because of porn?

But you didn't go blind?

 

[MattIsRight]

https://rmbsi.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/1.jpg

Thank you for your compassion. Sorry to harsh your mellow and remind you that sex is and was my drug.

Not sure why you fell the need to kick a guy when he is down.

But then again... when I saw people as drugs, I treated them exactly like you do...

I was flippant and if someone didn't agree with me, (like my wife) I also had a knee jerk reaction to kick her.

Just like You

 

[MattIsRight]

ALL that? Because of porn?

But you didn't go blind?

Haha.

I forgot to mention that I put my hands on her, tried to fuck our sister in law...

But feel free to fill in the blanks according to your limited information.

And again.

Thanks for kicking the messenger.

 

[dolf]

I doubt this is true. It's a favourite lit alt hobby to post tall tales.

But...

On the miniscule off chance that it is...

It's rare that karma looks so obvious. If you don't value humanity, you lose it. You hid from love and trust and responsibilities like a scared child, and pretended it was because you were clever and free.
At the end of A Christmas Carol, Scrooge realised that it's not too late. He'll never regain what he threw away, and he can't undo all the harm he has done, but he gives himself a fresh start to be a better man.
But, in real life, people generally wallow in self pity for a while and then revert to form, because change is difficult.

Find a therapist and rescue a shelter dog.

 

[CandiCame]

I couldn't get past "I enjoyed their fear" because like... not to shit on Model Mayhem, but a lot of the folks who post there are trying to build a portfolio, so you do get some real quality people. But those folks can't be "bought". The folks on that site who can be bought are the kind of people that OP would be scared shitless of. They're the kinds of folks who openly snort pills in your car on the way to the shoot and pack loaded guns in their purses. The kind of folk who gather all 7 dragon balls to wish a bitch would.

Like... that site's not really regulated so a lot of people use it as a front for all kinds of things.

So... if you want this to be believable, change the recruitment tactic or change the emotion that they displayed from "fear" to "Whatever they thought you wanted to see to get whatever they could out of you because they were far more street smart than you could ever hope to be".

 

[Debbie]

Do you think you are addicted to porn or more to the feeling of power and getting your rocks off with anyone you set your sights on and wanted?


Opening yourself up to a bunch of strangers isn't easy. Change isn't easy. Trying to pick up the broken pieces of your life and family will be hard.

You can't undo the pain that has come from your addiction but maybe just maybe things will work out and you get some semblance of a better life.

I like dolfs suggestions. Very much. I don't know if your wife will go to therapy with you but she might be open to at least talking to you about this mess after some therapy and time has passed and she sees for herself that you're trying to get help and not repeat your past behaviour.

 

[CandiCame]

Also... what part of the OP is porn? I feel like I missed something. That's not porn, it's slutty nonsense.

 

[rae121452]

When I was addicted to porn, and when I became mega successful, I combined the two. I went on Model Mayhem, and bought myself models. I would meet them at work (I am in entertainment) and I knew they would been impressed.
I enjoyed the power dynamic. I enjoyed their fear.
One single mom (has subsequently become a born again Christian) had moved to the west coast from Alabama with children and delusions.
Her tits were deflated... and I put them in a bookmark folder and forgot about them. The folder was found by my late wife. She pointed out my description of the woman;
"Crissy with small natural tits" . She began to ask me questions "what was she like , did you fuck her, what else was there to her other than what I had summed her up to be; "Crissy with small natural tits"? I told my wife she was 'bugging me'.
But It was not my wife's fault that she married a man who lived a double life. It is my fault for not trusting someone who Loved me. It is my fault that I compartmentalized every woman ever (every woman was fuckable...one of my Sugars called me a Satyr and made a mock up of me as a Satyr chasing her with the caption "no woman was safe". I left it out as a coffee table gag). I went down on the entire neighborhood. No One was subtle around my wife. They all let her know that I had pleasured them. I was proud of it. I was proud that I easily seduced my hiking partner's wife ("no one will ever know ", I reassured her while adjusting the angle of my charger/camera) ... My wife found the pictures, and I told her she was "crazy". She began to doubt herself, and I thought "I am home free". Then I lost everything. My wife, my children, the respect of my friends and family.

let's see...are you saying that all of this happened because you were addicted to porn? how exactly did you lose everything. and, if you're no longer addicted to porn, what are you doing on a porn website?

 

[Hal9000_]

Honestly, porn is simply another form of entertainment. Period.

Some people binge watch netflix. Some are addicted to video games. Others go and blow their whole paycheck on video poker or slots.

This thread is just another bullshit propaganda piece focusing on the evils and dangers of porn.

 

[Ann_Tagonist]

Thank you for your compassion. Sorry to harsh your mellow and remind you that sex is and was my drug.

Not sure why you fell the need to kick a guy when he is down.

But then again... when I saw people as drugs, I treated them exactly like you do...

I was flippant and if someone didn't agree with me, (like my wife) I also had a knee jerk reaction to kick her.

Just like You

Funny way to ask for sympathy...

 

[CandiCame]

THERE IS NO PORN IN THE OP!? WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH PORN!?

He met some chicks online, fucked around with them, then his wife found out and got pissed about it. That's the whole story summarized. That's not porn, that's you being a slut and also a dick about it. You're thinking of adultery. Porn is the stories, pics, vids, whatnot of people doing the sex.

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

Funny way to ask for sympathy...

yeah---, and its just as funny that YOU thought it was a funny way to ask for sympathy,

 

[RocketLauncher]

I'm in the same boat. Right now I can't imagine my life without porn. Since I found Porn online free I started watching porn videos a few times per day. There are so many cool videos I just wanted to watch them all. For a long time I thought it was normal.

Keep fapping away, boy. The more you watch and fap the more desensitized you'll become, both physically and mentally. Soon you'll need more and more hardcore porn to satisfy the dopamine (or serotonin?) rush an orgasm gives you. Subsequently you won't be able to get it up with a girl irl. Which is good cuz one really must consider whether it is wise to breed in these end times.
Myself? I'll stick with the pleasurable warmth and intimacy of skin on skin contact with another human being. Just sayin'.

 

[Wok]

When I was addicted to porn, and when I became mega successful, I combined the two. I went on Model Mayhem, and bought myself models. I would meet them at work (I am in entertainment) and I knew they would been impressed.
I enjoyed the power dynamic. I enjoyed their fear.
One single mom (has subsequently become a born again Christian) had moved to the west coast from Alabama with children and delusions.
Her tits were deflated... and I put them in a bookmark folder and forgot about them. The folder was found by my late wife. She pointed out my description of the woman;
"Crissy with small natural tits" . She began to ask me questions "what was she like , did you fuck her, what else was there to her other than what I had summed her up to be; "Crissy with small natural tits"? I told my wife she was 'bugging me'.
But It was not my wife's fault that she married a man who lived a double life. It is my fault for not trusting someone who Loved me. It is my fault that I compartmentalized every woman ever (every woman was fuckable...one of my Sugars called me a Satyr and made a mock up of me as a Satyr chasing her with the caption "no woman was safe". I left it out as a coffee table gag). I went down on the entire neighborhood. No One was subtle around my wife. They all let her know that I had pleasured them. I was proud of it. I was proud that I easily seduced my hiking partner's wife ("no one will ever know ", I reassured her while adjusting the angle of my charger/camera) ... My wife found the pictures, and I told her she was "crazy". She began to doubt herself, and I thought "I am home free". Then I lost everything. My wife, my children, the respect of my friends and family.

What weird promotional material for No Fap.

 

[Ann_Tagonist]

yeah---, and its just as funny that YOU thought it was a funny way to ask for sympathy,

Funny wierd....not funny ha ha.