The Isolated Blurt Thread XVII : Squish Me Like You Mean It!

[Notcastor]

My penis says "Happy New Year" to both of you.

 

[raindancer]

I'm not falling for that talking penis bit, again.

 

[pointless]

Of course. You know they ignored me.

and that is why dogs are better.

 

[RobDownSouth]

Heard something rummaging around in the garage this morning and thought a raccoon or possum had gotten inside.

6 a.m. I switched on the garage light and there are two almost-adolescent kittens playing kitten-tag amongst the boxes. Where did you two come from?

 

[pointless]

a cat's vagina.

 

[Notcastor]

I'm not falling for that talking penis bit, again.

S'alright.

https://i.pinimg.com/564x/71/70/4e/71704e771d580ad17e8d59369043b9f1.jpg

 

[jaF0]

I hate when I can't find something and I obsess for hours over something that's really not worth the time.

I'm never going to find it! Something lives in the walls that steals stuff.

You'd be surprised the number of times I simply look away briefly, then look back at the same spot and it's suddenly there. Like some kind of dimensional warp thing going on.

 

[CandiCame]

Bonfires are awesome! Do you guys celebrate Guy Fawkes? Fireworks are banned here in Sydney (you can’t buy them legally) but in New Zealand my family put on big parties. Massive bonfires. We all have drinks and it’s lots of fun.

Why are fireworks banned?
Like as an American this is so unthinkable to me. That's nature's way of telling who is and is not allowed to have hands.

 

[Spins]

No one ever believes me that I am a quarter Cherokee.

 

[dolf]

Why are fireworks banned?
Like as an American this is so unthinkable to me. That's nature's way of telling who is and is not allowed to have hands.

Why would a government want to stop the imbecile public from playing with explosives? I can't imagine!

 

[Saint Peter]

Look! Lawn Darts!!

 

[adrina]

Coffee is not cutting it.

 

[jaF0]

No one ever believes me that I am a quarter Cherokee.

Knew a guy once that claimed he was full blooded (forget the tribe now). Decidedly Anglo first name with tribal last name. Pale white guy with bright red hair.

He was a full blooded asshole though.

 

[phantom4533]

Why not take the paddle paint stirrer that you have in the garage and use that as an immersion blender? Just be careful of your drill RPM.

 

[RocketLauncher]

Knew a guy once that claimed he was full blooded (forget the tribe now). Decidedly Anglo first name with tribal last name. Pale white guy with bright red hair.

He was a full blooded asshole though.

Metis, maybe? They are recognized Natives that have both Native and French or Scottish/English heritage (Anglo- Metis). Red hair could have been from Scottish genes.

 

[Aglaopheme]

Why are fireworks banned?
Like as an American this is so unthinkable to me. That's nature's way of telling who is and is not allowed to have hands.

Many states ban fireworks.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Why are fireworks banned?
Like as an American this is so unthinkable to me. That's nature's way of telling who is and is not allowed to have hands.

And the government's way of telling numbies not to start forest fires.

 

[phantom4533]

Scientists got bored watching the earth turn, so after 24 hours they called it a day.

 

[Aglaopheme]

I am happy it is warmer than expected. This would have been an even worse mess had all of this rain been snow. Hopefully the rain will not stop people from venturing out this evening.

 

[silver gurl]

We still don’t have snow. A dusting.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

You know when you wake up craving something and your mind is completely over taken by it? Yeah, me too.

https://66.media.tumblr.com/0bfc811498790f2d6bc12d505d8b766a/tumblr_p7y0f6Urr61t6ow01o1_500.gif

Nice edit.

 

[raindancer]

I ransacked the house and still couldn't find it.
I have a poltergeist.

 

[pointless]

yeah, an attractive brunette in a tank top would be nice right now, but she'd need to be carrying.

 

[Notcastor]

Bums should carry point of sale terminals.

 

[pantalaimonlyra]

Nice edit.

Mmmm, now my mind is wandering again.