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[Zach_lost_in_Aus]

Not sure you said that right...Ouzestralia, there you go.

Now for the sake of security just some questions:

a. Thongs, on the feet or on your hips?

b. Meat pies, eaten with a knife and fork or with your hands?

c. Pro_cess or Pros_cess?

d. Snag or sausage?

e. Onions on top of a the snag or under?

e. my only doubt... I’d say on top, if only to raise a finger to Bunnings

 

[darkelf9]

Hello! It's been quiet in here!
Where do I start on my update? It's been a mixed bag! Good though.
I've seen him a few times now - he's nice! I think I might have offended him a few times with my sense of humour...sarcasm obviously doesn't translate well (He's Colombian) but he seems to like me too...so all good.

As for the sex, I feel like I'm having to learn it all again. We had much better sex (and I actually had an orgasm - a rare event during sex for me!) the second time...the next time he wasn't feeling well...so back to not-so-fabulous. Then Saturday night, my son had his first sleepover so we could go out to dinner and sex....and have morning sex. YAY! But after dinner we were both so tired that neither of us could climax. Booo! Seriously. Is this old people sex? I think he was trying to be gentlemanly and wait for me, but I was so tired (I have been doing bathroom renovations, plus had the solo mum's Christmas pool party at my house, so have been having very long, physically demanding days. As well as being a solo mother working full time) and my sciatic is still bothering me...anyway... long story is that we tried. And tried. And tried.
And tried again in the morning. So all fun...but....we promised each other we'd do more practise until we got it right. YAY!

Oh and he shaves (totally not used to that!) and was a bit prickly, so I've gotten a bit of a rash from him on my butt. Boo!

Now he's come down with the flu, so I'll not see him until Sunday. Probably a good thing...I need to rest a little!!

Hey Pert,

Wasn't aware that five o'clock shadow gives you arse rash

Sounds like you guys need to go over some agreed rules on when to have sex and when it's ok not to. Don't people just cuddle anymore.

It reads like you need to write a story about it. At least you're having fun.

 

[darkelf9]

e. my only doubt... I’d say on top, if only to raise a finger to Bunnings

Yep onions on top for sure. Who would of thought insurance determines how you eat. Morons. It would be like putting the cheese under the burger pattie.

 

[Zach_lost_in_Aus]

Yep onions on top for sure. Who would of thought insurance determines how you eat. Morons. It would be like putting the cheese under the burger pattie.

Phew... all the others were in the citizenship test...

 

[darkelf9]

Holy fuck.

Don't feel any different.

There's just this old wierdo looking at me in the mirror most mornings now.

Hey that dude gets around a lot, he even shaves when I do. Weird

 

[Zach_lost_in_Aus]

Hey that dude gets around a lot, he even shaves when I do. Weird

You two are making me nervous... this dodgy bloke might visit me fairly soon!

 

[darkelf9]

Afternoon all,

Decided to stay home out of the rain after getting rained on a lot yesterday. Also had new shoes on so the feet are a bit sore today. Watching the test from Perth and thus far no wickets down for the Aussies.

Wow lots of rain just about everywhere. The usual streets around Melbourne flooded. Lots of road works in the city but they still haven't fixed those known flood points. Was not impressed when a 4WD sent a wave over my car, I was doing 70 km/hr at the time. Luckily there wasn't a car in front of me. I was totally blinded for a couple of seconds. Could of easily led to an accident. People just don't know how to drive in those conditions.

Have been really surprised that the Christmas stuff came out late this year, so no option but to shop with the crowds. Still need to get a few things which is annoying since I made an effort to go shopping early this year.

Hope your weekend is good for you and that people are staying safe in all the weather around the country at the moment.

 

[missswannie]

39 today in Perth. A bit of early beach, then maybe work from the edge of the pool while watching the cricket might be in order.

Bad move by cricket Australia, they closed off the 30000 seats at the stadium that have shade and only have the 30000 in the open. Not really thinking are they. Might have gone if I could sit upstairs.

PertPerth: sounds like it is moving along. Stubble on a smooth man is an opportunity to shave him before the action. Use the silicon shaving oil as a first layer, then buy a brush and tube of Palmolive shave cream to lather up over the top. Nice foreplay and the silicon oil will stay on if water rinsed so he will be just that little bit more slippery. That's a good thing.... You could always ask him to do you as well.

Space Agency in SA.... The sat control stations are in NT WA and QLD, the square mile array is in WA, and the only place you can launch to orbit is the same three. Actually we were debating this other day. Anti submarine and maratime patrol aircraft that looks after the northern and western trade routes but based in SA. But hey, those Antarctic penguins are dodgy socialists and the Kiwis obviously need an eye kept on them.

Trams... In their "wisdom" they pulled up all the tram tracks in Perth in the late 60's. First orders for the new road based rechargeable battery trams go in in 2021. They top up every time they pass over a magnetic recharge pad at the stops. So might get a bit more than the odd train and bus soon. Prefer if they built them here though, and put WA lithium and vanadium into batteries for them.

Anyway boobs out and going to enjoy the heat.

 

[darkelf9]

You two are making me nervous... this dodgy bloke might visit me fairly soon!

Just don't look at the mirrors in your place. He only hangs out there oh yes and he photo bombs your selfies which is why I don't take any. I'm trying to work out a way I can charge him for rent.

 

[Zach_lost_in_Aus]

Just don't look at the mirrors in your place. He only hangs out there oh yes and he photo bombs your selfies which is why I don't take any. I'm trying to work out a way I can charge him for rent.

Top tips!
The mirrors are mostly occupied by the household of women I find a corner in... Just need to put down the phone...

 

[Zach_lost_in_Aus]

39 today in Perth.

[some interesting other stuff]

Anyway boobs out and going to enjoy the heat.

Enjoy!

 

[darkelf9]

PertPerth: sounds like it is moving along. Stubble on a smooth man is an opportunity to shave him before the action. Use the silicon shaving oil as a first layer, then buy a brush and tube of Palmolive shave cream to lather up over the top. Nice foreplay and the silicon oil will stay on if water rinsed so he will be just that little bit more slippery. That's a good thing.... You could always ask him to do you as well.

My god when did getting a root become so damn complicated. Shaving before you go out, sure... then shaving again before you get your groove on. Do we do this after dessert or coffee?

Won't see that in the movies. So much for being spontaneous.

 

[alwaysaway]

Not sure you said that right...Ouzestralia, there you go.

Now for the sake of security just some questions:

a. Thongs, on the feet or on your hips?

b. Meat pies, eaten with a knife and fork or with your hands?

c. Pro_cess or Pros_cess?

d. Snag or sausage?

e. Onions on top of a the snag or under?

a. Feet. Always. Any season. And I can run in them (for extra points).

b. Hands. With the sauce poked into the top.

c. Pro_cess.

d. Snag.

e. On top.

Did I pass?!

 

[PertPerth]

Not sure you said that right...Ouzestralia, there you go.

Now for the sake of security just some questions:

a. Thongs, on the feet or on your hips?

b. Meat pies, eaten with a knife and fork or with your hands?

c. Pro_cess or Pros_cess?

d. Snag or sausage?

e. Onions on top of a the snag or under?

a. I prefer barefoot, but I'm allergic to bees, so I have a pair at the front door, and a pair at the back. Ugg boots are reserved for inside. Both all year around. XD

b. Do people actually eat pies with knife and fork?

c. Pro_cess.

d. Snag.

e. On top.

PertPerth: sounds like it is moving along. Stubble on a smooth man is an opportunity to shave him before the action. Use the silicon shaving oil as a first layer, then buy a brush and tube of Palmolive shave cream to lather up over the top. Nice foreplay and the silicon oil will stay on if water rinsed so he will be just that little bit more slippery. That's a good thing.... You could always ask him to do you as well.

Anyway boobs out and going to enjoy the heat.

I love silicone and mostly use it when shaving too. I have such sensitive skin. I've not used shave cream in a long time since I got a bad rash back in the early 90's. Scarred me for life.

Anyway, we had an interesting chat last night. Something along the lines of him wanting anal and me saying I'd prefer he'd fuck someone else's bum because mine is off limits...he seemed okay with that idea, so we'll see!


He's got his daughter this weekend, so he's going to come over after he's dropped her off tonight.

I hope everyone is enjoying the weekend!

 

[darkelf9]

a. Feet. Always. Any season. And I can run in them (for extra points).

b. Hands. With the sauce poked into the top.

c. Pro_cess.

d. Snag.

e. On top.

Did I pass?!

Yep entry approved. Rather difficult these days to keep the American speak out of the country. Even the Macquarie dictionary isn't immune.

You get extra citizen points for being able to run in thongs without the middle bit ripping out.

 

[darkelf9]

a. I prefer barefoot, but I'm allergic to bees, so I have a pair at the front door, and a pair at the back. Ugg boots are reserved for inside. Both all year around. XD

b. Do people actually eat pies with knife and fork?

c. Pro_cess.

d. Snag.

e. On top.

Ok I guess the obvious question...Why are you treading on bees? I would of thought there are other parts of the body a bee would normally sting you. I got stung in the neck when I was about 8 yrs old, hurt like hell for a few minutes. Never been stung since. You might need a full length net before you go out in the garden.

As for who eats a pie with a knife and fork...our former PM, probably why the onion eater got rid of him, well that and he was out for revenge. Revenge....obviously a meal served with a knife and fork.

 

[darkelf9]

Afternoon all,

Well it's only some sleeps till Christmas. Not counting, it will get here sooner than you think. A very busy week. I've been up and about everyday thus far. Had to go into the city on Monday and deal with the crowds, then finished off the Christmas shopping yesterday and a trip to Bunnings. Just spent 2 hrs trimming stuff in the garden...no the actual garden...Had a haircut last week so thought the front hedge should get one as well...once again that's the hedge in the actual garden.

Was rather disappointed with what was on offer this year in the stores for Christmas. There was just regular stuff. It was very hard to find the normal array of sweet treats. Couldn't find any of the booze fudge as per the normal Christmas. Lots of smaller packs of stuff as well. Overall I wasn't impressed. It was like just going normal shopping except with some Christmas carols, didn't hear many of those either.

So just to round of the year yet another sex scandal from the pollies. And if it didn't make the news he wouldn't of resigned. Still getting paid as a pollie though, must have already got his Christmas bonus.

The Aussies won a test. Got home from shopping thinking I'd see some cricket for the rest of the afternoon at least. Well that didn't happen, but at least the team got a good win. Crowds were disappointing though. No point building a big stadium if you can't fill it. Also that pitch was all over the place. They need to fix that for next time.

Hope the Christmas Ho is generous to you...however if that doesn't work out, try the other one down the street. Hope everyone stays safe over the Christmas season.

 

[missswannie]

Regrettably it depends on the quality of your pie these days. There have been a few packets of pastry encased shite that have come through the door lately that truely it is a health and safety issue to not give in and knife and fork them. I was just up at a Big Australian mine and people would have gone on strike for less in the past. (I remember the Argyle Diamonds strike years ago over a minimum of three flavours of cordial and 5 types of icecream). It needs a proper bakery pie these days.

I'm guilty of changing the word to thong instead of g-string to describe my underwear in Lit as it doesn't translate otherwise. But I can certainly run in thongs which ever way you take it, and can still do a good thong brake on the pushy.

 

[darkelf9]

Regrettably it depends on the quality of your pie these days. There have been a few packets of pastry encased shite that have come through the door lately that truely it is a health and safety issue to not give in and knife and fork them. I was just up at a Big Australian mine and people would have gone on strike for less in the past. (I remember the Argyle Diamonds strike years ago over a minimum of three flavours of cordial and 5 types of icecream). It needs a proper bakery pie these days.

I'm guilty of changing the word to thong instead of g-string to describe my underwear in Lit as it doesn't translate otherwise. But I can certainly run in thongs which ever way you take it, and can still do a good thong brake on the pushy.

Well as a good woman once said..."if you aren't willing to lick the bowl, you shouldn't get any pie"

Agree on the meat pies I find these days. They just don't taste the same. Some of those slow cooked frozen ones have crap pastry. Also have found it hard to find a bakery that makes a decent curry pie.

Well one way not to confuse people regarding whether to call them thongs or G-strings is simply don't wear them

 

[missswannie]

Well as a good woman once said..."if you aren't willing to lick the bowl, you shouldn't get any pie"

Agree on the meat pies I find these days. They just don't taste the same. Some of those slow cooked frozen ones have crap pastry. Also have found it hard to find a bakery that makes a decent curry pie.

Well one way not to confuse people regarding whether to call them thongs or G-strings is simply don't wear them

Thats always an option. Not overly keen on full backs so guess that leaves bare

 

[warrior queen]

Just popping in quickly to wish all aussies the very best Season's Greetings, and positive Karmic Blessings for 2019

 

[PertPerth]

Happy holidays everyone!

 

[FrankAU]

sake of

Now for the sake of security just some questions:

a. Thongs, on the feet or on your hips? Feet

b. Meat pies, eaten with a knife and fork or with your hands? Bakery pies definitely hands even with mushy peas. Supermarket pies questionable

c. Pro_cess or Pros_cess? Process

d. Snag or sausage? Snag

e. Onions on top of a the snag or under? On top

Can I add another one jam and cream scones - jam first or cream first

 

[missswannie]

Merry Christmas everyone.
Wood fired oven is glowing hot, a round of pizzas to keep everyone happy, then all sorts of meats and other dishes to go in. The girls have their friends staying over and we collect all the stragglers without family events to go to so a full house for the next days.

 

[darkelf9]

Now for the sake of security just some questions:

a. Thongs, on the feet or on your hips? Feet

b. Meat pies, eaten with a knife and fork or with your hands? Bakery pies definitely hands even with mushy peas. Supermarket pies questionable

c. Pro_cess or Pros_cess? Process

d. Snag or sausage? Snag

e. Onions on top of a the snag or under? On top

Can I add another one jam and cream scones - jam first or cream first

Didn't know there was an option. Jam on first of course then lots of cream. Who the heck puts cream on first unless it's cream then jam then cream.