Reading thru personal ads on Lit, it struck me today that many Litsters – including myself perhaps also? – may be approaching their problems from the wrong end. As an example, one horny lady claims she cannot achieve an orgasm, unless she can talk with a man jacking off. Or another one likes to be gifted a vibrator, in return for letting the donor watch her use it.
Both exciting fantasy situations for sure, but how about searching for a root cause for a change, instead of requesting specific men to come forward? Perhaps something altogether different is desired by either woman; lots of adoration by one, and more opportunities to seduce a man by the other?
Both ladies will find what they yearn for via Lit, I have no doubts about that. But what about me? For which reasons – quite specifically – do I search for a woman for exchanging intimate mails with?
My way for achieving better orgasms, genital ones or "brain orgasms", is far more complex than the problem both ladies have. I search for a connection with a woman first, and later on I will look for something as vague as "meaning" in my connection.
In my latest connection, which ended recently, the meaning we thought we had found was feeling deeply in love with each other. A downright silly approach, as I see that now, for a man who is married, and who plans to stay married to his wife, despite missing intimacy and marital sex. Am I really a polyamorous human being? I do not know for sure.
So what am I REALLY looking for; what is the void, or what are the voids that I aim to compensate for, by cheating on my wife via mails with another woman?
Most significant void for me: not only do I no longer receive intimate attention from my wife, she has also "taken away from me" opportunities for giving her something in the intimate realm. So my "root cause" is lack of a taker for my desires to give, if you come right down to it.
And void compensation-wise, I look for a woman who direly needs, what I yearn to give her. That is the true essence of my longing.
Now my difficulty for making the right connection stems from two sources mainly: far more Lit women are looking for men to jack off for them, than complex men with a need for giving. And #2: the kind of woman I look for, does not peruse the Lit Personal ads often. Maybe a third difficulty as well: when such a woman sees my ad, she may not believe her eyes, or she may be afraid to respond, for fear of getting hurt.
Because a further obstacle exists as well: the needy woman and the needy me must get to like one another, when we meet. Countless little things must fall in place for that to happen, including some physical attraction to one another.
Perhaps another item may help, with the right kind of woman at least: not only do I feel the need for void compensationI described above, I also feel a strong need for an intellectual connection. With an American woman that is. My non-American friends where I live now, on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, have not watched the election yesterday as passionately as I did, and were not as elated as I was about its outcome.
I can even imagine a meeting of our minds and brains, before our "libidos" begin to click for one another. After all, there exists something like sapiosexuality. And if that develops and unfolds, maybe it may make up for the deficiencies that any relationship has necessarily, which does not have a real-life component also.
BTW, for me all these musings were quite instructive; I learned something additional about myself. Whether any reader of my ad felt the same way(?), I shall see.
Both exciting fantasy situations for sure, but how about searching for a root cause for a change, instead of requesting specific men to come forward? Perhaps something altogether different is desired by either woman; lots of adoration by one, and more opportunities to seduce a man by the other?
Both ladies will find what they yearn for via Lit, I have no doubts about that. But what about me? For which reasons – quite specifically – do I search for a woman for exchanging intimate mails with?
My way for achieving better orgasms, genital ones or "brain orgasms", is far more complex than the problem both ladies have. I search for a connection with a woman first, and later on I will look for something as vague as "meaning" in my connection.
In my latest connection, which ended recently, the meaning we thought we had found was feeling deeply in love with each other. A downright silly approach, as I see that now, for a man who is married, and who plans to stay married to his wife, despite missing intimacy and marital sex. Am I really a polyamorous human being? I do not know for sure.
So what am I REALLY looking for; what is the void, or what are the voids that I aim to compensate for, by cheating on my wife via mails with another woman?
Most significant void for me: not only do I no longer receive intimate attention from my wife, she has also "taken away from me" opportunities for giving her something in the intimate realm. So my "root cause" is lack of a taker for my desires to give, if you come right down to it.
And void compensation-wise, I look for a woman who direly needs, what I yearn to give her. That is the true essence of my longing.
Now my difficulty for making the right connection stems from two sources mainly: far more Lit women are looking for men to jack off for them, than complex men with a need for giving. And #2: the kind of woman I look for, does not peruse the Lit Personal ads often. Maybe a third difficulty as well: when such a woman sees my ad, she may not believe her eyes, or she may be afraid to respond, for fear of getting hurt.
Because a further obstacle exists as well: the needy woman and the needy me must get to like one another, when we meet. Countless little things must fall in place for that to happen, including some physical attraction to one another.
Perhaps another item may help, with the right kind of woman at least: not only do I feel the need for void compensationI described above, I also feel a strong need for an intellectual connection. With an American woman that is. My non-American friends where I live now, on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, have not watched the election yesterday as passionately as I did, and were not as elated as I was about its outcome.
I can even imagine a meeting of our minds and brains, before our "libidos" begin to click for one another. After all, there exists something like sapiosexuality. And if that develops and unfolds, maybe it may make up for the deficiencies that any relationship has necessarily, which does not have a real-life component also.
BTW, for me all these musings were quite instructive; I learned something additional about myself. Whether any reader of my ad felt the same way(?), I shall see.
Last edited:
