Advice about writing about lying.

[UncleWayne]

How do I write dialogue about someone saying that your only lying to get me in bed.

I said, “You’re gorgeous and look very sexy.”

What could I write instead of writing, “Youre only saying that to get me in bed with you.”

 

[kurrginatorX]

How About

And you think that's enough to get me to throw myself at you?"

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Depends how devastated you want to leave him, I guess. For instance:

“How many times has that line worked for you?”

or

“I wish I could say the same about you.”

or

“Thanks. Have I mentioned that the bouncer over there, the 6’ 7” one, is my brother?”

Or, for the win,

“Why thank you! This is my first time out as a girl and I really needed the reassurance.”

 

[rae121452]

"i hope you're better at fucking than giving compliments."

 

[UncleWayne]

Thank you for those suggestions.

 

[NotWise]

How do I write dialogue about someone saying that your only lying to get me in bed.

I said, “You’re gorgeous and look very sexy.”

What could I write instead of writing, “Youre only saying that to get me in bed with you.”

She could say, "Thanks, I think you're hot too."

Why can't your character know it's a lie and go with the flow? Why would your character not want to climb into bed? Why should she confront a potential lover?

If she doesn't want sex, then she can just say "Get outta here." She doesn't have to play some game.

 

[KeithD]

You would want to write something that was in character for your character. You give no clue what would be in character with your character.

 

[HBergeron]

Yes, it does depend on the characters. Why would he be lying? Is she not gorgeous and looking sexy? Perhaps 'lying' is not the appropriate word - manipulating might be more appropriate.

Personally, without anything to go on other than the line you put out there, I might have her say something like:

"I'll bet you say that to all the girls who don't sleep with you."

or

"Maybe that works for you, but why don't you tell me something that works for me?"

 

[UncleWayne]

This is the dialogue I was thinking of changing.

“We think you both look gorgeous… don’t we Alan?” I said.

Alan smiled at my wife and her friend and said, “Fuck yes, you’re both fucking sexy.”

Rachel laughed and said, “You’re only saying that because you want to fuck us.”

“I do want to fuck you both again… and you’re both fucking sexy,” replied Alan.

****

 

[Jada59]

"You're", not "your".

 

[Hypoxia]

Write what you want. You control the players' souls. If they're only cartoon figures, it doesn't matter. Is your story dramatic literature or a stroker?

Okay, flesh them out. He, lustily: "You're gorgeous and sexy." She, angrily: "I'm an ugly toad and you only want to fuck me." He, sincerely: "To me, you're sexy and gorgeous, especially with those growths, and yeah, I want to fuck you. But not ONLY fuck you. I want you to scream." She, teasing: "Do you have earplugs?"

Location matters. Where does this dialog take place? In a bar/club? In church or school? In his or her home, and if so, at the door, or in the kitchen, or bedroom, or bathtub? At the zoo, by the elephant enclosure during mating season?

The posed scenario isn't lying IMHO. Lying would be, "I had a vasectomy," or, "I promise not to cum in your mouth," or, "Don't worry, the webcam isn't on."