I am not quite in the mood right now for a real new Personal ad of mine. Instead I like to post a thank you note for several Lit women right now. Women I have conversed with, for at least a while, with meaningful exchanges between her and me.
In every fucking one of these cases, we ended up parting with the realization that we were NOT meant for one another. So much for the sad part. But I like to claim that in each of the cases I like to think back of, for a short while at least, some adrenalin started flowing on both sides. And other bodily fluids as well, sometimes.
There is something almost magic, I feel, when one believes one has discovered a needle in a hay stack one had looked for, for so long. Realizing that some resonance is beginning, and some likings develop; if two people are lucky, on BOTH sides.
Then sooner or later discoveries happen, which are not so great. Like "why in the world does she not see as great a need as I do, to dig deeper into a particular subject, which is dear to my heart". For me that usually turns into a "killer obstacle", I called it insufficient responsiveness, if and whenever I went to the trouble of performing a "post-mortem" analysis after it was over.
For the women involved, their reasons for disliking me eventually were many fold. One of them actually disapproved of my liking of classical music, can you believe that? and most of them were unable to cope with my somewhat complex personality. Well, so be it.
But when I think back on the moments of happiness we enjoyed with each other – in some cases far too briefly – it is not unfair to claim we both found some enjoyment in trying to establish a connection. Even if our attempt failed in the end.
OK, so much for my feelings of gratitude. Not a bad idea to think back and discover some gratitude every once in a while.
Well, I feel I sound a bit too much like a tele-Evangelist right now, but that cannot be helped either.
.
In every fucking one of these cases, we ended up parting with the realization that we were NOT meant for one another. So much for the sad part. But I like to claim that in each of the cases I like to think back of, for a short while at least, some adrenalin started flowing on both sides. And other bodily fluids as well, sometimes.
There is something almost magic, I feel, when one believes one has discovered a needle in a hay stack one had looked for, for so long. Realizing that some resonance is beginning, and some likings develop; if two people are lucky, on BOTH sides.
Then sooner or later discoveries happen, which are not so great. Like "why in the world does she not see as great a need as I do, to dig deeper into a particular subject, which is dear to my heart". For me that usually turns into a "killer obstacle", I called it insufficient responsiveness, if and whenever I went to the trouble of performing a "post-mortem" analysis after it was over.
For the women involved, their reasons for disliking me eventually were many fold. One of them actually disapproved of my liking of classical music, can you believe that? and most of them were unable to cope with my somewhat complex personality. Well, so be it.
But when I think back on the moments of happiness we enjoyed with each other – in some cases far too briefly – it is not unfair to claim we both found some enjoyment in trying to establish a connection. Even if our attempt failed in the end.
OK, so much for my feelings of gratitude. Not a bad idea to think back and discover some gratitude every once in a while.
Well, I feel I sound a bit too much like a tele-Evangelist right now, but that cannot be helped either.
.
