M65 spinning the bottle, where will it land?

[BudgieSmuggler]

It's long odds the right lady is going to read this as I'm pretty certain that even if she does exist she wouldn't be perusing here for inspiration.

But who knows? Are you a lady of a certain age? Do you like reading and writing erotica?

Would you like to exchange thoughts or stories with a mature guy who is interested in exploring a fetish or two? Let's make contact and see if we can find some common interests.

Let me french kiss your mind.

 

[LadyJS]

It's long odds the right lady is going to read this as I'm pretty certain that even if she does exist she wouldn't be perusing here for inspiration.

But who knows? Are you a lady of a certain age? Do you like reading and writing erotica?

Would you like to exchange thoughts or stories with a mature guy who is interested in exploring a fetish or two? Let's make contact and see if we can find some common interests.

Let me french kiss your mind.

You're most certainly correct in that the odds would be long that the right person would read your ad, but your post is well-written and to the point, at least better than some of the other drivel on here that passes for personals that I've read. I'll give you a bump and wish you all the best in your quest.

 

[BudgieSmuggler]

Thankyou LadyJS. Keeping my fingers crossed. I'm just here looking for a play date not to change the world.

 

[Littletoo]

Okay, I'm not what you want.

I've been saying that a lot, lately. I guess it's just a phase I'm growing through right now.


"Are you a lady of a certain age?"

If I take certain liberties with the concept "lady," maybe. "Of a certain age" sounds like the kind of code my parents used to keep me in the dark when I was little. (Note to parents: doesn't work)

Since your profile was bare, I had to read through your old posts. It's better to have a profile so people don't DO this. I mean, where better to put your ad than your profile? They're already interested enough to click through.

So I guess it would be better if I came with a mom or a grandmom "of a certain age." Alas, both have gone on to their Eternal Reward.

There's my stepmom. She's my age. Well, okay, she's older, but she's closer to MY age than my Dad's.

(Way to go, dad! Woo Hoo!)

"Do you like reading and writing
erotica?"

Um, tell you what. If you've slogged through this much Jamiespeak and you're still with me, read some of my old posts and see what you think. I haven't published any stories here because I can't write anything even remotely like what I read here, although I am published elsewhere.

"Would you like to exchange thoughts or stories with a mature guy who is interested in exploring a fetish or two? "

Yah, I like older guys. Sort of like looking for a relationship I never got to have with my real dad, but depends on the fetish.

PLEASE, none of the "Dom Daddy Baby Girl BDSM BS. And PLEASE no cockpix or hokey-fakey porno GIF's that keep on giving. I'm not That Sort of Girl and my "delete" key works great.

"Let me french kiss your mind.*"

You DO KNOW that I'm Literosexual, right?

Yeah, I thought I made it up, too. But it's a real thing. Go to Urban Dictionary. Look it up.

You shouldn't SAY things like that to a Literosexusl Lady, if I may use the concept "Lady" in its loosest possible construction.

"French kiss my mind…"

(Blush)

Keep me up all night, Willya…

So, I'm not what you want, but I'll Uptown Bump You Up anyway!

Love,

Jamie


**

 

[Kinkenglish]

Okay, I'm not what you want.

I've been saying that a lot, lately. I guess it's just a phase I'm growing through right now.


"Are you a lady of a certain age?"

If I take certain liberties with the concept "lady," maybe. "Of a certain age" sounds like the kind of code my parents used to keep me in the dark when I was little. (Note to parents: doesn't work)

Since your profile was bare, I had to read through your old posts. It's better to have a profile so people don't DO this. I mean, where better to put your ad than your profile? They're already interested enough to click through.

So I guess it would be better if I came with a mom or a grandmom "of a certain age." Alas, both have gone on to their Eternal Reward.

There's my stepmom. She's my age. Well, okay, she's older, but she's closer to MY age than my Dad's.

(Way to go, dad! Woo Hoo!)

"Do you like reading and writing
erotica?"

Um, tell you what. If you've slogged through this much Jamiespeak and you're still with me, read some of my old posts and see what you think. I haven't published any stories here because I can't write anything even remotely like what I read here, although I am published elsewhere.

"Would you like to exchange thoughts or stories with a mature guy who is interested in exploring a fetish or two? "

Yah, I like older guys. Sort of like looking for a relationship I never got to have with my real dad, but depends on the fetish.

PLEASE, none of the "Dom Daddy Baby Girl BDSM BS. And PLEASE no cockpix or hokey-fakey porno GIF's that keep on giving. I'm not That Sort of Girl and my "delete" key works great.

"Let me french kiss your mind.*"

You DO KNOW that I'm Literosexual, right?

Yeah, I thought I made it up, too. But it's a real thing. Go to Urban Dictionary. Look it up.

You shouldn't SAY things like that to a Literosexusl Lady, if I may use the concept "Lady" in its loosest possible construction.

"French kiss my mind…"

(Blush)

Keep me up all night, Willya…

So, I'm not what you want, but I'll Uptown Bump You Up anyway!

Love,

Jamie


**

Nice answer... encouraging for the op... nice to see someone avoid the lure of the snark in the personals column ...

 

[BudgieSmuggler]

Littletoo makes some interesting points. She's right "a lady of a certain age" is code, but not at all hard to break I would imagine. Rather than just a state of mind there is a physical element involved as well. I guess I could have written "post menopausal" but I didn't. I have actually posted elsewhere on another forum for "Any horny grannies out there who would like to exchange kinky emails?". No luck there either.

On the subject of profiles, as far as I can see the ability to add/edit a profile on the personals forum has been broken for some time and the profile from the main literotica site doesn't carry across. I know I haven't been through every conceivable menu option, but if anybody knows how to do it currently on Firefox in Win10, please let me know.

I actually do write the occasional story but I have published them under a different persona. If I can't write sufficient in a standalone personals ad here to attract the attention of a prospective correspondent then I'm probably doing it wrong.

My stories aren't top ten material, but at least I try and I'm happy rating with 4+ voting scores and without getting unpleasant comments. I've made my most successful contacts through comments to those stories, but unfortunately I seem to attract more attention from TS's than I do from ladies.

I'm happily married and have been for 40 years, but it's been about 10 years since I could keep it up all night, even if I had the opportunity. There's collateral damage that accumulates from earlier in life that's not quite so simple to fix as just popping a little blue pill. Unfortunately for me my wife pretty much lost interest in sexual things post menopause and from what I can see that is not uncommon. Any older ladies bothering to come here are probably a small portion of the available age group and probably looking for a younger stud, not another greying hairy old fart. Thank god for online porn!

I have made some contact with ladies in the 30 to 40 age group from here, but they seem to be either angry or after a daddy fantasy, or both. I'm neither. I'm also not looking for meet ups or my BFF, I'm just looking for a slightly wacky friendly correspondent to bounce fantasy ideas off about what I might have done in another life in a parallel universe.

I've wondered if perhaps I should follow up on some of the leads from TS's, but the thought of playing along with another desperate old guy turns me off. And I expect that's pretty much the same response any spunky lady of any age is probably having reading this. If you are having trouble decoding what a 'spunky lady' is, you are also definitely too young.

This leads me to the brutal realization that perhaps I'm not just unlucky on the sexual spectrum, but that 65 year old guys are simply over represented in the not getting enough part of the spectrum. From what I can see there are a lot of over 60 guys here and very very few over 60 ladies.

 

[BudgieSmuggler]

Got some satisfaction making furniture for the rest of last year instead, but having nothing pressing on the current projects list I started wandering around some old haunts and bumped into this old thread.

So - bump, bump,

any ladies want to grind?