Secret Lover

[Jada59]

I was having a conversation with someone the other day. The person said that they thought all women wanted a secret lover. One that would come to them and do things to them their regular lover did not.

This is actually the first time I'd ever heard such a notion. And I can't really fathom it. I mean... If you have a regular lover, wouldn't you want someone who would do things with you that you want to do?

So... Ladies! Have you ever had a secret lover? Or have you wanted to have one?

Guys? Have you ever been one? Or wanted to be one?

 

[twister947]

I have been "the other man", and was told I did things her husband wouldn't do. Is that what you're getting at?

 

[starider07]

I was a secret lover

To a married woman and too a woman newly divorced. The latter had been in a sexless marriage for years and her sexual desires had been zero. As we talked and grew acquainted her desires rekindled, grew and she opened her mind to new possibilities. Together we explored, and lived out some fantasies neither of us may have experienced. It was a unique relationship and I have no regrets and kinda wish we could have lived out more of her fantasies.
The married woman was quite similar, with nearly the same desires. The extremes of which each was willing to go was surprising. Both fun and wild, even kinky in different ways. Many women have wild fantasies and desires they are afraid to discuss with their husbands, or have before with a man that will not explore them.
Another I just thought of had a secret kinky side that she loved and needed satisfied. Many men would not try to satisfy.

Many times it's situations where the man is too inhibited to explore, and eventually it is why it leads to divorce. that said, it does work the same way but opposite.

 

[Jimee]

I was ‘the other guy’. But her husband knew and encouraged it. We did things as a threesome occasionally, but mostly it was her on and on date nites.

A little different then fucking in secret locations, but still fun being the other guy. Or the boyfriend?

 

[liqueur]

. . . said that they thought all women wanted a secret lover. One that would come to them and do things to them their regular lover did not. . . .
Guys? Have you ever been one? Or wanted to be one?

I was a secret lover once ("once" as in "for several years"). It was a point of ethics to her that she would never speak ill of her husband, so I don't really know if I did things her husband wouldn't. Maybe; or maybe she just found a thrill in cheating. Or maybe she just liked me. All I know for sure is that we sure had some great sex, and I really, really liked her.

 

[Jada59]

I have been "the other man", and was told I did things her husband wouldn't do. Is that what you're getting at?

Exactly. Now that I think about it, my ex husband didn't do much at all in terms of sex. Turned out that he hated it. But it never crossed my mind to get a secret lover and I still wouldn't. I guess we're all different though.

 

[Jada59]

To a married woman and too a woman newly divorced. The latter had been in a sexless marriage for years and her sexual desires had been zero. As we talked and grew acquainted her desires rekindled, grew and she opened her mind to new possibilities. Together we explored, and lived out some fantasies neither of us may have experienced. It was a unique relationship and I have no regrets and kinda wish we could have lived out more of her fantasies.
The married woman was quite similar, with nearly the same desires. The extremes of which each was willing to go was surprising. Both fun and wild, even kinky in different ways. Many women have wild fantasies and desires they are afraid to discuss with their husbands, or have before with a man that will not explore them.
Another I just thought of had a secret kinky side that she loved and needed satisfied. Many men would not try to satisfy.

Many times it's situations where the man is too inhibited to explore, and eventually it is why it leads to divorce. that said, it does work the same way but opposite.

Interesting. Although my marriage wound up being a sexless one from his end, it was also a loveless one and wound up being abusive from his end. Not physical abuse until the end and then it wasn't even towards me but someone close to me. He dished out verbal and mental abuse to me constantly but really it fell upon deaf ears. I know I am better than that.

In my case, I just called upon my own devices for the most part, and turned to writing when I could. Even that wasn't often because he tried to exert control over all that I did.

Despite all of that, I still wouldn't have taken a lover. That just doesn't set right with me. I don't judge others. Just wouldn't feel right about it. In fact, I waited until my divorce was final before doing so much as even sexting.

He didn't. I recently found out that he'd been cheating from the start. Oh well. Whatever. Makes no never mind to me. I just can't wrap my head around why he wouldn't let me out of the marriage or what it finally took to get him to divorce me. But I'm just glad he did. Now I can have a lover and it won't be a secret!

 

[Jada59]

I was ‘the other guy’. But her husband knew and encouraged it. We did things as a threesome occasionally, but mostly it was her on and on date nites.

A little different then fucking in secret locations, but still fun being the other guy. Or the boyfriend?

I guess that's okay then!

 

[Jada59]

I was a secret lover once ("once" as in "for several years"). It was a point of ethics to her that she would never speak ill of her husband, so I don't really know if I did things her husband wouldn't. Maybe; or maybe she just found a thrill in cheating. Or maybe she just liked me. All I know for sure is that we sure had some great sex, and I really, really liked her.

Interesting. Thanks!

 

[xxxallison]

I had a secret female lover while I was dating my ex bf. She was (still is) my best friend although she moved away recently.

It was very exciting.

 

[mnbreastluver]

I had a secret lover once. Then one day after thrusting in her really hard she popped. It turned out to be an inflatable doll. What a disappointment when I found out. I truly thought I loved her

 

[FL30]

I was having a conversation with someone the other day. The person said that they thought all women wanted a secret lover. One that would come to them and do things to them their regular lover did not.

This is actually the first time I'd ever heard such a notion. And I can't really fathom it. I mean... If you have a regular lover, wouldn't you want someone who would do things with you that you want to do?

So... Ladies! Have you ever had a secret lover? Or have you wanted to have one?

Guys? Have you ever been one? Or wanted to be one?

Isn't this the same as having a lover outside of marriage / mistress?

 

[Jada59]

Isn't this the same as having a lover outside of marriage / mistress?

I suppose so but one that he doesn't know about.

 

[gtnlynn]

My wife had secret lovers in college. I had promised not to have sex with her until we married, but she wanted to have sex. So on the weekends when I couldn't be with her, she was with one of her FWBs for sex. It was a secret until after we were married and she told me.

 

[ChefMario77]

Dated a married woman for 1 year. She left her husband and we were together for another year and a half.

Had secret rendezvous with 2 others. One of which worked for me.

I absolutely loved being the "sex toy". 2 of the 3 were older than I (1 by 13 years, the other by 23 years) and that made it feel that much more naughty.

 

[Beach63108]

I was having a conversation with someone the other day. The person said that they thought all women wanted a secret lover. One that would come to them and do things to them their regular lover did not.

This is actually the first time I'd ever heard such a notion. And I can't really fathom it. I mean... If you have a regular lover, wouldn't you want someone who would do things with you that you want to do?

So... Ladies! Have you ever had a secret lover? Or have you wanted to have one?

Guys? Have you ever been one? Or wanted to be one?

Secret lover is a better title than just saying having someone behind someone else's back or cheating lol. I've had secret lovers and been a secret lover.

 

[call_me_sarge]

I was a secret lover to an older woman while in my twenties. There was no intellectual connection but only a physical one. This kept up for 3 years, she was married and I suspect he knew but never said anything because we kept it quiet.

Flash forward 25 years later, I was a secret lover to a woman whom I worked with. It was an amazing year, again it was only a pure physical relationship but it was amazing nonetheless

 

[bone251]

I seen a few mature Escorts that were looking for discreet secret lovers. I was what they were looking for and they fast became nice FWB.

 

[Carnevil9]

I don't think the point of a secret lover is to get to do things your spouse wouldn't do. The point is that having sex with your spouse and/or official boyfriend/girlfriend can get boring. Having someone on the side is thrilling, different, and deliciously naughty.

 

[starider07]

I don't think the point of a secret lover is to get to do things your spouse wouldn't do. The point is that having sex with your spouse and/or official boyfriend/girlfriend can get boring. Having someone on the side is thrilling, different, and deliciously naughty.

I am certain this is true in some cases as all options get tested. But this exact same thing is a part of all of them. You get that naughty thrill in each. It's just that exploring items the spouse won't adds even more.
I can't tell you how many guys have stepped out because the woman wouldn't give oral or anal. How many women do it to experience the thrill you speak of, but more. Being wanted, desired, awakens many things and exploring takes place

 

[cheetah2]

When I was in my late 20's I had a neighbor (late 30's) who would come over to my place every wed. when her husband went bowling. She had heard a FWB girl telling another how I loved to lick her toes and pussy. She asked me in the laundry one night if I would do that to her. This went on for about a year till I moved. Her husband wouldn't do anything oral, I have no idea why.

 

[cheetah2]

When I was in my late 20's I had a neighbor (late 30's) who would come over to my place every wed. when her husband went bowling. She had heard a FWB girl telling another how I loved to lick her toes and pussy. She asked me in the laundry one night if I would do that to her. This went on for about a year till I moved. Her husband wouldn't do anything oral, I have no idea why.

never actually fucked her, and she wouldn't even touch my cock for the first 4-5 times

 

[Jada59]

My wife had secret lovers in college. I had promised not to have sex with her until we married, but she wanted to have sex. So on the weekends when I couldn't be with her, she was with one of her FWBs for sex. It was a secret until after we were married and she told me.

Oh wow!

 

[BongoGal]

My wife had secret lovers in college. I had promised not to have sex with her until we married, but she wanted to have sex. So on the weekends when I couldn't be with her, she was with one of her FWBs for sex. It was a secret until after we were married and she told me.

I find this pretty hot in a way. I must admit, though, that I am surprised that she told you. That's the kind of thing that some people would take to the grave or only reveal during a fight when they wanted to hurt the person they are fighting with. Your wife must have known you wouldn't flip out. What exactly was your reaction? Did you know the FWB?

 

[Gamine67]

A seemingly endless number of studies keep confirming that at least one member of a couple will have either an ‘affair of the heart’ or actual sex outside the relationship.

That’s merely philandering and not the same as having a “Secret Lover”.

The quintessential secret lover represents a long term relationship between two people that is so discrete their closest confidantes would not have an inkling.

It’s possible but you need to have very good tradecraft, patience and a bond that goes beyond sex.

Easier said and fantasized about than done.