Taking our Wife Led Marriage to a different level.

[Scareltt]

First, if this post is in the wrong place I’ll move it, just let me know.

Second, my husband and I have been going down this Wife Led Marriage path for a while now.

At the moment I use panties to enforce a more wife centered state of mind with him. I don’t lay them out for him every day. Just like I don’t allow him full orgasms all the time. I do enjoy having him wear my panties after I have been with another lover. However that’s as far as I have pushed him.

Questions about next steps..

Daily panties for my husband? What do you think?(I love typing that, and saying it.)

Thin or thick pads? What are your thoughts? He dribbles just like all guys, and precums when his mind wonders. He is not allowed to masturbate. He knows I can tell. Either by his volume when allowed to climax, or just by his demeanor. There are consequences. He does not do it. So that is also the cause of some leakage.

What lifestyle blogs and resources do you use? Other than Lit..

Also I am always looking for other directions and boundaries to push. I would love to hear any additional advice.

 

[cuckoldbill]

First, if this post is in the wrong place I’ll move it, just let me know.

Second, my husband and I have been going down this Wife Led Marriage path for a while now.

At the moment I use panties to enforce a more wife centered state of mind with him. I don’t lay them out for him every day. Just like I don’t allow him full orgasms all the time. I do enjoy having him wear my panties after I have been with another lover. However that’s as far as I have pushed him.

Questions about next steps..

Daily panties for my husband? What do you think?(I love typing that, and saying it.)

Thin or thick pads? What are your thoughts? He dribbles just like all guys, and precums when his mind wonders. He is not allowed to masturbate. He knows I can tell. Either by his volume when allowed to climax, or just by his demeanor. There are consequences. He does not do it. So that is also the cause of some leakage.

What lifestyle blogs and resources do you use? Other than Lit..

Also I am always looking for other directions and boundaries to push. I would love to hear any additional advice.

A few Question; are you trying to femme him or control him through playing to his femme side.
You have lovers so that means he is a cuckold (as I am) . Have you always had lovers or is this something you decided and he accepted?
I love wearing my wife's cum soaked panties. How does hubby feel about it.
Do you discuss your your lovers with him?
You should let him help you get ready for a hot date. Let him see the underwear you select for your date . This is a real turn on for most cucks. Also give him a lot of menial household chores to do while you are out having fun with your lover. And check to make sure they are done properly and harsh punishments applied when necessary,

 

[wildchild24143]

First, if this post is in the wrong place I’ll move it, just let me know.

Second, my husband and I have been going down this Wife Led Marriage path for a while now.

At the moment I use panties to enforce a more wife centered state of mind with him. I don’t lay them out for him every day. Just like I don’t allow him full orgasms all the time. I do enjoy having him wear my panties after I have been with another lover. However that’s as far as I have pushed him.

Questions about next steps..

Daily panties for my husband? What do you think?(I love typing that, and saying it.)

Thin or thick pads? What are your thoughts? He dribbles just like all guys, and precums when his mind wonders. He is not allowed to masturbate. He knows I can tell. Either by his volume when allowed to climax, or just by his demeanor. There are consequences. He does not do it. So that is also the cause of some leakage.

What lifestyle blogs and resources do you use? Other than Lit..

Also I am always looking for other directions and boundaries to push. I would love to hear any additional advice.

I have to know more, i dream of being in a wife led relationship.

 

[Scareltt]

Answers to a few questions.

Good morning... happy July 3rd to all my American friends. Below are answers to some of your questions.

Are you trying to femme him or control him through playing to his femme side?

I don’t want to totally feminize him. That’s not my goal. Long ago I was out of town for a few weeks. When I got back while we were laying in bed, he told me. “To feel closer to you at night I slept in your underwear.” I probed deeper and asked more questions, I discovered that he wanted to continue to be able to wear my underwear when I was out of town. I allowed that, but I also started thinking about how I could use that.

On a day of a birthday party for one of our children I needed him focused and doing what I need to get done. Mow the lawn, buy the balloons, prep all the food, and be a good host. It was going to be a busy day. Plus a once and a lifetime opportunity that evening. When we woke up he wanted sex, (this is before I had put down strict rules about his orgasms) we didn’t have time, my family was on the way and due to arrive soon. I told him no, there was no way that would happen. As predictable as he is he got all huffy. While he was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, I laid the pink cotton Hanes I slept in on his side of the bed with a note. “Don’t come downstairs until you are in a subservient frame of mind.” He was wonderful the whole day, and smiling when I had to leave. Everyone was still at the house for the party. It’s not everyday you get asked to throw out the first pitch. I left with a few family and friends. I worried he would start drinking while I was gone. He didn’t he was a amazing host. I got texts the whole time I was gone. No shots, no big glasses of whiskey, he was smiling when I got home. That’s when I learned about the Power of the Panties. Sorry long answer.

Have you always had lovers or is this something you decided and he accepted? My dating outside the marriage is a new thing. It just started in February. I feel like it’s a natural step. It has helped our marriage on a lot of different levels. My self confidence is through the roof. It feels amazing to be pursued. I think a lot of married women forget how good that feels.

I love wearing my wife's cum soaked panties. How does hubby feel about it? It’s a very new step for us. It took 5 days of denial. Then the next day he agreed. That night I came home from a date. I put the panties on the toilet in our bathroom, and woke him. He put them on and his sexual energy was through the roof. I had to tell him to calm down twice. I ended up not even taking the panties off. I moved them to the side and rode him just like that. My poor 4 minuet man came so fast.


Do you discuss your your lovers with him? I do I don’t share specific stuff. I don’t compare size. I have learned to not hold back details. He can tell, so I tell him about everything.

You should let him help you get ready for a hot date. Our schedules don’t really allow for that. I work in the evenings, so most of my dates are after work. I have to freshen up in the ladies room at work.

Also give him a lot of menial household chores to do while you are out having fun with your lover. And check to make sure they are done properly and harsh punishments applied when necessary. There is no need for that, he knows what needs to be done. There is no need for punishment because he does a great job with the housework. He wants to make me happy. His goal is my happiness that’s where all this is coming from.

 

[liqueur]

Daily panties for my husband? What do you think?(I love typing that, and saying it.)

I thoroughly approve of this step. The type of panty depends on him, and what traits you are seeking to bring out in him. They could be chaste school-girl panties. Or ridiculously sexy ones. Or you could have him wear each day the panties you wore on the previous day. I have no experience with pads, so no opinion there.

What lifestyle blogs and resources do you use? Other than Lit..

FetLife.com

Also I am always looking for other directions and boundaries to push. I would love to hear any additional advice.

As mentioned below, it depends a lot on what innate traits of his you are seeking to nurture and bring out.

• You would be astonished by the number of men who identify as straight but who love to suck cock or who don't suck but long to. So I would definitely explore this, in baby steps — in fantasy dialog during sex; bringing home other men's cum and feeding it to him in various ways; getting him to suck a dildo; etc. Consider it (if this turns you on) as preparing him to suck your lover's cocks, as a display of submission to you.

• If you are not pegging him already, I think you should. Again, you can start in baby steps: fantasy; anal play during sex; butt plugs; and so on.

Of course these ideas are ones that feed my fetishes; you need to find and exploit the ones that feed your and his. But in the discussion groups I've been on (including one I lead on FetLife) these particulars ones seem to be pretty wdiespread.

 

[96grad]

Good morning... happy July 3rd to all my American friends. Below are answers to some of your questions.

Are you trying to femme him or control him through playing to his femme side?

I don’t want to totally feminize him. That’s not my goal. Long ago I was out of town for a few weeks. When I got back while we were laying in bed, he told me. “To feel closer to you at night I slept in your underwear.” I probed deeper and asked more questions, I discovered that he wanted to continue to be able to wear my underwear when I was out of town. I allowed that, but I also started thinking about how I could use that.

On a day of a birthday party for one of our children I needed him focused and doing what I need to get done. Mow the lawn, buy the balloons, prep all the food, and be a good host. It was going to be a busy day. Plus a once and a lifetime opportunity that evening. When we woke up he wanted sex, (this is before I had put down strict rules about his orgasms) we didn’t have time, my family was on the way and due to arrive soon. I told him no, there was no way that would happen. As predictable as he is he got all huffy. While he was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, I laid the pink cotton Hanes I slept in on his side of the bed with a note. “Don’t come downstairs until you are in a subservient frame of mind.” He was wonderful the whole day, and smiling when I had to leave. Everyone was still at the house for the party. It’s not everyday you get asked to throw out the first pitch. I left with a few family and friends. I worried he would start drinking while I was gone. He didn’t he was a amazing host. I got texts the whole time I was gone. No shots, no big glasses of whiskey, he was smiling when I got home. That’s when I learned about the Power of the Panties. Sorry long answer.

Have you always had lovers or is this something you decided and he accepted? My dating outside the marriage is a new thing. It just started in February. I feel like it’s a natural step. It has helped our marriage on a lot of different levels. My self confidence is through the roof. It feels amazing to be pursued. I think a lot of married women forget how good that feels.

I love wearing my wife's cum soaked panties. How does hubby feel about it? It’s a very new step for us. It took 5 days of denial. Then the next day he agreed. That night I came home from a date. I put the panties on the toilet in our bathroom, and woke him. He put them on and his sexual energy was through the roof. I had to tell him to calm down twice. I ended up not even taking the panties off. I moved them to the side and rode him just like that. My poor 4 minuet man came so fast.


Do you discuss your your lovers with him? I do I don’t share specific stuff. I don’t compare size. I have learned to not hold back details. He can tell, so I tell him about everything.

You should let him help you get ready for a hot date. Our schedules don’t really allow for that. I work in the evenings, so most of my dates are after work. I have to freshen up in the ladies room at work.

Also give him a lot of menial household chores to do while you are out having fun with your lover. And check to make sure they are done properly and harsh punishments applied when necessary. There is no need for that, he knows what needs to be done. There is no need for punishment because he does a great job with the housework. He wants to make me happy. His goal is my happiness that’s where all this is coming from.

I so wish I was your husband. Sounds like I would love that!

 

[Scareltt]

I promise

I will answer all the below questions soon. It’s been a busy few days.

 

[Justfantasies]

In my marriage we are both “permitted” to “stray.” But I think that all open relationships are a bit wife centered, if only because it is easier for a wife to find lovers than a husband.

This fact is a turn on in itself, at least for me. So I love to help my wife get ready for dates or take her on shopping trips to buy her new new clothes to be fucked in

 

[trevorness]

He wants to make me happy. His goal is my happiness that’s where all this is coming from.

Wow that sounds like this is all coming from a sexy fun direction. And that you are finding your way towards more fun.

 

[Scareltt]

Answers to questions.. I hope

Good morning everyone... these are not in order.

If you are not pegging him already, I think you should. Again, you can start in baby steps: fantasy; anal play during sex; butt plugs; and so on.?

I have pegged him in the past. For me it’s a lot of work, plus I still have to laugh when I see myself in a harness and strapon. It has totally killed both our moods. So now I use a dildo, plugs, or my fingers.

You would be astonished by the number of men who identify as straight but who love to suck cock or who don't suck but long to. So I would definitely explore this, in baby steps — in fantasy dialog during sex; bringing home other men's cum and feeding it to him in various ways; getting him to suck a dildo; etc. Consider it (if this turns you on) as preparing him to suck your lover's cocks, as a display of submission to you.?

He has not expressed any desire to meet or submit to any of my partners. He might be into an FmM but something like that is just not on my radar screen. I would love an FMM but not with him.

I have not checked out Fetlife in a really long time. At the moment Lit is enough for me.

I thoroughly approve of this step. The type of panty depends on him, and what traits you are seeking to bring out in him. They could be chaste school-girl panties. Or ridiculously sexy ones. Or you could have him wear each day the panties you wore on the previous day. I have no experience with pads, so no opinion there.

At the moment I am still laying out the panties I wore the day before. I have ordered some sexier stuff for myself. I wonder about taking him panty shopping. That might be a step too far at the moment.

Did I miss anything?

 

[leather_spitfire]

you could do pantie shopping online to start with? though you said earlier that the fact they’re your panties has, or had, a lot to do with it initially. would you ask him his opinion or do you both prefer that you tell him what’s happening?

 

[npanxx]

Something else that hasn't been mentioned yet is locking him up in a chastity device.
I am not in a relationship like yours (yet) but I long for a relationship where the woman demands I be locked up when not in her presence, to wear panties at all times, and be "coersively encouraged" to dress in stockings and heels while doing housework or pleasing her with my mouth.

 

[Scareltt]

you could do pantie shopping online to start with? though you said earlier that the fact they’re your panties has, or had, a lot to do with it initially. would you ask him his opinion or do you both prefer that you tell him what’s happening?

He is definitely more into me dictating or just getting what I want him in. This goes back to the beginning. When he first told me it bothered me. I needed time to wrap my head around him wearing my underwear. Now I get it, so my plan at the moment is to buy stuff I think will make me feel sexy when I wear it.

I am going to roll with the idea that it’s my decision. He just needs to put my panties on after and enjoy being close to me.

I feel like I’ll be able to tell, if it’s not working for him.

 

[Scareltt]

A cage

Something else that hasn't been mentioned yet is locking him up in a chastity device.
I am not in a relationship like yours (yet) but I long for a relationship where the woman demands I be locked up when not in her presence, to wear panties at all times, and be "coersively encouraged" to dress in stockings and heels while doing housework or pleasing her with my mouth.

The cage has been talked about. I feel like it’s easy to put it on, then there is no masterbation. With no cage he has to use his will power. He has to actively not masterbate. It’s a choice he has to make all day every day. I like testing him like that. Plus when he does I get to use the shower brush.

Neither of us at the moment are into femming him. He is not going to be cleaning in stockings. Or wearing women’s clothes.

 

[npanxx]

Thanks for the reply Scareltt.
Yes, the cage does prevent masturbation, but it is also a source of incredible arousal. I find that the constant contact my glans has with cage, and the "grip" around my cock and balls makes me want to masturbate even more, and it creates a vicious circle! I get aroused and want to cum, but I can't, which makes me want to cum even more.
Heels and lingerie don't necessarily have to lead to feminization. I think it's just another way to establish or reinforce your dominance. When I'm caged, in panties, stockings and heels, it adds to my arousal exponentially.

 

[liqueur]

With no cage he has to use his will power. He has to actively not masterbate. It’s a choice he has to make all day every day. I like testing him like that. Plus when he does I get to use the shower brush.

Personally, I find that really, really sexy

 

[EmpressJosephine]

You already cuckold him.

Have you considered polyamory in which he services both you and a male lover of yours?

 

[Scareltt]

You already cuckold him.

Have you considered polyamory in which he services both you and a male lover of yours?

At this point I am not sure he or I would be okay with that. He has not expressed interest in other men. I also don’t know what seeing him with another man would do to me, and my headspace..

 

[twister947]

I really like the idea of polyandry in some form. I only wish it didn't involve wearing women's clothes, etc. I'm still a man, yanno?

 

[liqueur]

I really like the idea of polyandry in some form. I only wish it didn't involve wearing women's clothes, etc. I'm still a man, yanno?

WHAT?? Polyandry doesn't require women's clothing. At least not unless the polyandrists in question want it to. . .

 

[twister947]

WHAT?? Polyandry doesn't require women's clothing. At least not unless the polyandrists in question want it to. . .

I know that. I shouldn't have mixed polyandry in with this discussion.

 

[SlutAddicted]

leading or experimenting

I see from the OP that you are the leader in a female led relationship. But I also noticed from one of your subsequent posts that wearing your panties was initiated by him. Is it fair to infer that to date the panty dynamic is not so much you leading him as it is indulging and exploring his fetish?

If so I would say that the pads (thin or thick) are great additions to this exploration. So too would be different types of panties and different combinations for different occasions. Or making it a daily thing. Maybe have him buy the panties and even have his and hers. There are lots of fun scenarios.

Now I say this next part with the respect of a man who knows and loves an FLR.

The panties aren't testing his boundaries. He was wearing them before you even knew. Trust me he will love it that you are taking it further along. But so far it sounds like indulging him is testing your boundaries more so than the other way around. And leading him where he already showed you he wants to go isn't really leading in the way I regard it as a submissive husband.

That is all great and I find it wonderful that you are embracing his desires. But I am not clear on whether he actually desires to have his boundaries pushed and whether you actually want to lead as opposed to give direction.

For instance, I know you aren't into feminizing. But if the roles were reversed and you were being made to dress and behave in a male fashion, would you view that as taking away from your femininity? Personally I wouldn't see it that way. It would be experimentation from which you could easily pullback. If you can see that can you see that maybe trying the feminization would just be a sampling with no consequences rather than a deliberate effort to change his character or cast him in a negative light. Would that allow you to lead and push his boundaries?

Maybe that is trite. Whether that scenario is up your alley really doesn't matter. But I guess the point is where are you trying to lead him? Why? And which boundaries are you trying to push? Does he want to follow for the sake of following or is he just happy that you are indulging his fantasy?

Cock cages, cream pies, pegging, dressing for your lovers, watching you have sex and on and on are fun, engaging, titillating experiences. The wife in an FLR who make those decisions for the benefit of her and her cuckold and leads him there is a special thing indeed.

I hope all of that comes across as very respectful. An FLR is a wonderful thing and the wife is to be revered.

 

[Scareltt]

Great insights..

I see from the OP that you are the leader in a female led relationship. But I also noticed from one of your subsequent posts that wearing your panties was initiated by him. Is it fair to infer that to date the panty dynamic is not so much you leading him as it is indulging and exploring his fetish?

If so I would say that the pads (thin or thick) are great additions to this exploration. So too would be different types of panties and different combinations for different occasions. Or making it a daily thing. Maybe have him buy the panties and even have his and hers. There are lots of fun scenarios.

Now I say this next part with the respect of a man who knows and loves an FLR.

The panties aren't testing his boundaries. He was wearing them before you even knew. Trust me he will love it that you are taking it further along. But so far it sounds like indulging him is testing your boundaries more so than the other way around. And leading him where he already showed you he wants to go isn't really leading in the way I regard it as a submissive husband.

That is all great and I find it wonderful that you are embracing his desires. But I am not clear on whether he actually desires to have his boundaries pushed and whether you actually want to lead as opposed to give direction.

For instance, I know you aren't into feminizing. But if the roles were reversed and you were being made to dress and behave in a male fashion, would you view that as taking away from your femininity? Personally I wouldn't see it that way. It would be experimentation from which you could easily pullback. If you can see that can you see that maybe trying the feminization would just be a sampling with no consequences rather than a deliberate effort to change his character or cast him in a negative light. Would that allow you to lead and push his boundaries?

Maybe that is trite. Whether that scenario is up your alley really doesn't matter. But I guess the point is where are you trying to lead him? Why? And which boundaries are you trying to push? Does he want to follow for the sake of following or is he just happy that you are indulging his fantasy?

Cock cages, cream pies, pegging, dressing for your lovers, watching you have sex and on and on are fun, engaging, titillating experiences. The wife in an FLR who make those decisions for the benefit of her and her cuckold and leads him there is a special thing indeed.

I hope all of that comes across as very respectful. An FLR is a wonderful thing and the wife is to be revered.

When I have time I’ll get some answers.

 

[jamestabbycat]

This is a fun thread, I'm interested in hearing about FLR. Please continue to share your story.

 

[Scareltt]

Slipping in the door late on a Sunday morning.

I worked last night. Like I do every weekend night it seems like.

I also had a “date”, my little brother was in town to watch the World Cup with my husband. They always get together for it. I love that he and Matt do that together. So with the girls at my Dads I figured they would not miss me. There is always lots of beer flowing.

I was right Matt sent me a text about 11:00 last night saying my brother had gone to bed. Easier to not have to answer odd questions from a younger sibling.

I told Matty that I would be home way late.

I just got home, the laundry is going, the kitchen, and the living room are clean. They are off at breakfast. So I have a few hours of me time.