All the good girls are home with broken hearts

[Hello_Sweetie87]

Another lonely night sleeping in a separate room down the hall from my husband. It’s been well over a year since we’ve had sex and it’s KILLING me. We’ve got the usual excuses (kids, careers, etc) but the biggest issue is he called me a “fat ass” while we were arguing and I’ve since completely shut down sexually toward him. I also have pretty severe psoriasis which he said “disgusted” him during the same argument. I don’t even wear short sleeve shirts around him anymore, it’s 100 degrees outside and I’m wearing hoodies and jeans everyday to hide my body from him. The lack of sex didn’t bother him for several months, but recently he’s mentioned that we need to start having sex again. I can’t even remember the last time we touched or kissed or even sat near each other, so I can’t imagine jumping back into sex with him will be a graceful, beautiful endeavor. So, we avoid it. And I hate it. I just want to be good enough.

 

[nightjack]

You are more than good enough. He doesnt deserve you.

 

[CasualLurker]

have u tried drinking aloe juice drinks? one of my friends friends had bad psoriasis and it really helped him when he tried everything else but it took like a month to start working.

also eating healthy helps some peiple, along with exercise, and would help any weight issues.

 

[Debbie]

Another lonely night sleeping in a separate room down the hall from my husband. It’s been well over a year since we’ve had sex and it’s KILLING me. We’ve got the usual excuses (kids, careers, etc) but the biggest issue is he called me a “fat ass” while we were arguing and I’ve since completely shut down sexually toward him. I also have pretty severe psoriasis which he said “disgusted” him during the same argument. I don’t even wear short sleeve shirts around him anymore, it’s 100 degrees outside and I’m wearing hoodies and jeans everyday to hide my body from him. The lack of sex didn’t bother him for several months, but recently he’s mentioned that we need to start having sex again. I can’t even remember the last time we touched or kissed or even sat near each other, so I can’t imagine jumping back into sex with him will be a graceful, beautiful endeavor. So, we avoid it. And I hate it. I just want to be good enough.

You are good enough and it isn't ok for him to call you names.

If you google psoriasis there are support groups/online forums where people discuss hints/ tips treatments they've used. I encourage going as natural as possible but it is what works for you that matters.

Hubby has psoriatic arthritis and has had to resort to humira from the pain and arthritis after decades of trying all sorts.

Sadly some of the medication he has take in the past may have caused kidney damage and dialysis is now on the cards in the years to come but we're grateful the kidney function decline is slow at the moment with a good diet and monitoring his health.

 

[Jada59]

People who call names have low self esteem. He has problems. Sorry. Have you tried taking turmeric for the psoriasis? I have it but it was never severe. Nothing the dermatologist prescribed helped. If anything it made it worse. The turmeric helped me so much that I can't recall the last time I had any spots.

 

[WoundedKnee]

What part of "performance alt" don't you people get?

 

[JohnnySavage]

You are more than good enough. He doesnt deserve you.

What makes you say that? She sounds like a wacko to me.

 

[Rightguide]

You are more than good enough. He doesnt deserve you.

How the hell would you know?

 

[WoundedKnee]

How the hell would you know?

He's the owner of the OP alt?

 

[thehaircutgirl]

How the hell would you know?

https://i.imgur.com/iEpS3h4.png

https://i.imgur.com/JhiQodL.png

https://i.imgur.com/SXP5UhT.png

 

[WoundedKnee]

So, you're Mercury14, the pretend doctor?

 

[RobDownSouth]

So, you're Mercury14, the pretend doctor?

Hai, I'd forgotten about ole Mercury! He used kick your rotund ass from one side of the dojo to the other, and this was before gravity and a rapidly expanding waistline robbed you of your oh-so-deadly spinnin' crescent kick.

 

[thehaircutgirl]

So, you're Mercury14, the pretend doctor?

so, you're firsco_esq, the pretend human being?

​

 

[IrezumiKiss]

So, you're Mercury14, the pretend doctor?

so, you're firsco_esq, the pretend human being?

​

https://media.giphy.com/media/11qiPT4SBlJ1WE/giphy.gif

https://wherethewildthingsare14.files.wordpress.com/2015/02/jujubee.gif

Not-AJ gonna Not-AJ.

 

[spacekowboy]

https://media.giphy.com/media/11qiPT4SBlJ1WE/giphy.gif

https://wherethewildthingsare14.files.wordpress.com/2015/02/jujubee.gif

Not-AJ gonna Not-AJ.

Perfect

 

[Aglaopheme]

Sounds like you both want to start banging again. MAke it happen.

Of course he shouldn’t call you names. People can say stupid stuff when they are arguing. Lord knows, I’ve done it once or twice, but it is certainly not a pattern.

Being “good enough” can only come from within yourself, unless as I said, there’s a pattern of abuse. If there is, get out. If there’s not, then you need to work on that.

 

[Aglaopheme]

https://media.giphy.com/media/11qiPT4SBlJ1WE/giphy.gif

https://wherethewildthingsare14.files.wordpress.com/2015/02/jujubee.gif

Not-AJ gonna Not-AJ.

Ha!

..

 

[Stain_mAnn]

Another lonely night sleeping in a separate room down the hall from my husband. It’s been well over a year since we’ve had sex and it’s KILLING me. We’ve got the usual excuses (kids, careers, etc) but the biggest issue is he called me a “fat ass” while we were arguing and I’ve since completely shut down sexually toward him. I also have pretty severe psoriasis which he said “disgusted” him during the same argument. I don’t even wear short sleeve shirts around him anymore, it’s 100 degrees outside and I’m wearing hoodies and jeans everyday to hide my body from him. The lack of sex didn’t bother him for several months, but recently he’s mentioned that we need to start having sex again. I can’t even remember the last time we touched or kissed or even sat near each other, so I can’t imagine jumping back into sex with him will be a graceful, beautiful endeavor. So, we avoid it. And I hate it. I just want to be good enough.

Got nothing for you, fat ass.

 

[Debbie]

What part of "performance alt" don't you people get?

I don't mind if I give advice or lend an ear (as long as they give it back) on the off chance they might need to genuinely vent.

 

[Saint Peter]

I don't mind if I give advice or lend an ear (as long as they give it back) on the off chance they might need to genuinely vent.

Do you ever get mad and break things?

 

[Debbie]

Do you ever get mad and break things?

I have thrown a coffee cup at a wall after another infuriating call with my ex refusing to accept responsiblity for disappointing his sons again many many many years ago. I dented the wall. The coffee cup was uninjured in the rage.


If I'm hopping mad I go very very very quiet, scream into my pillow or cry in the shower.

 

[Redneckgirl79]

He doesn't deserve you. It sucks when we want to kick them or just scream are you stupid. Hugs hopefully he removes his head from his ass soon.

 

[Que]

Several issues here.

Sex is important, the two of you need to reconcile, and find your way past understandably tender feelings or there is no point to marriage.

His insensitivity is not only morally wrong, it's poor strategy for getting what (I assume) he wants which would be sex with a woman he is sexually attracted to who wants to have sex with him.

I have no idea from your post if his disparaging comments about your weight was something that needs addressing (tactfully) or not. Men marry women hoping they stay the same, women marry men hoping they will be better than they are. Both are bound to be dissapointed at some level.

Never mind what it did interpersonally,...as far as being motivating to lose weight, his comments would have the opposite effect on most women. Tearing down a woman is an excellent way to trigger binge eating. Dumb on lots of levels.

All that said, I'm going out on a limb to guess you are not thinner (at the moment) and yet he still wants to have sex with you. That's weak comfort, I realize, but it is a start.

Similar to my advice to the married man with lack-a nookie I advised earlier today, work on yourself, for you. Maybe your youthful weight is not realistic, but be better for you, and your marriage, or for the next partner if it comes to that.

Something to ponder: some women who may have valid reasons for feeling resentful tend to engage in self-defeating behaviors like gaining weight as a subconscious way to insulate themselves from their partners sexually.

Best wishes for your emotional health and your marriage.

 

[Que]

Sounds like you both want to start banging again. MAke it happen.

Of course he shouldn’t call you names. People can say stupid stuff when they are arguing. Lord knows, I’ve done it once or twice, but it is certainly not a pattern.

Being “good enough” can only come from within yourself, unless as I said, there’s a pattern of abuse. If there is, get out. If there’s not, then you need to work on that.

Spot on.

I get why some people here and most likely in her personal life want to give her some you go girl encouragement as if there are no internal issues, but I think your frank assessment is both kind and honest.

 

[jaF0]

All time classic Al Bundy line......

Lady: Does this dress make me look fat?
Al: No, the FAT makes you look fat!