TSCLT 4.0: Bitchy Malevolent Baby Ducks

[Wat_Tyler]

I've been talking to (too many) New Yawkuhz lately, and I love how Rs show up in words they say, said words having no Rs in them.


Somebody told me recently that I don't sound like people from around here.


So I gave thanks to Allah, and that really confused them.


The cost of doing "bizness" . . . .


https://78.media.tumblr.com/0c39714914fb91fd9b0390b7c682b14b/tumblr_n05z450bV01snrs3eo1_1280.jpg

 

[WoundedKnee]

Grrrrlz to the north of us have a terrible habit of burying the last consonant of every sentence in their throat. Drives me crazy. Makes me want to reach down there and pull it out.

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Just suck it up. What else should I write? What else should I be? All apologies?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWmkuH1k7uA

Oh, I'm easily (enough) amused.


Just look at what passes for smarts around here. Then read it and piss yourself laughing.


Allah knows why I continue . . . and yet he hasn't bashed me - yet.


Maybe a few eternities (yes, I know - just hush, will you?) in Islamist Hell will straighten out what passes for my thinking . . . .


https://78.media.tumblr.com/02964052c462dd10ebe2f8ce3fcac26f/tumblr_nc9tl047MP1tljsm0o1_1280.jpg

 

[WoundedKnee]

Are you not entertained?

[I would post Russell Crowe here, but I am afraid of the copyright ban hammer.]

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Grrrrlz to the north of us have a terrible habit of burying the last consonant of every sentence in their throat. Drives me crazy. Makes me want to reach down there and pull it out.

Or stick yer pecker in and push it the rest of the way down . . . .


So, the mother/daughter combo was there last night, before supper. The baby is adorable. She'd fect a small fortune on the white slavery market, especially if momma was used as a judge of Future Value.


Anyway, she (the baby - she's 2) was fascinated by the Big Shiny Motorcycle. So they called Wat over (by this time, almost all the women have congregated there) to give the baby a tour. Lights, the horn, and all the getting dressed for the experience part.


Of course, it all turned to shit for her when Wat started the dragon. Too fucking loud for her. Loud pipes save (Wat's) life . . . .


https://66.media.tumblr.com/04fb83176cd6d401d150dd1a5f2c7d69/tumblr_o6mbdsOO7b1uscpvso1_1280.jpg

 

[WoundedKnee]

Oh Danny boy...

I felt that same way that the bagpipes were loosed in my presence.

WHAT THE HECK IS THAT? A DRAGON???

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Well, I can make the monster backfire pretty much at will.


Now, if I could get it actually to shoot fire from the exhausts . . .


that would be cool as all fuck.


All diddle fuck, even. And scare the babies, too.


https://78.media.tumblr.com/e858fd1f0c3f3bdd4336011d4936a1ef/tumblr_p8d47olOXe1wv0172o1_500.jpg

 

[WoundedKnee]

Who puts a tattoo on a perfectly beautiful boob?
I just do not get it.

 

[Wat_Tyler]

If I were a tattoo "artist," I'd prefer doing her tit as opposed to some hairy biker's forearm.


And I'd try to sell her some snatch decorations, too.


Maybe offer a discount for taking some out in trade.


I mean, you can eat pussy, but it isn't very nourishing, and it doesn't put shoes on the kids' feet.


http://i.imgur.com/YMK3L8I.jpg

 

[WoundedKnee]

I can't bring myself to do so much as put a bumper sticker on the Cougar.

You just don't mess with a good thing or The Zohan.

 

[Endrura]

What do you guys put in your coffee? Do you make it with red bull or something? A bunch of Chatty Cathys this morning.

I can help with the bagpipe issue though, none to be found in this version of Danny Boy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQ9W5bxJs3w

But I will admit I prefer his rendition of Loch Lomond

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0KQLJwMDzc

 

[WoundedKnee]

You are threatening me with bagpipes in the morning?
Reserve them for the mourning.

 

[Endrura]

No instruments in either video, he sings multiple tracks and puts them together for his songs and does better than most mainstream singers.

 

[Wat_Tyler]

I'm only on cuppa #2, and I only add teh half-n-half.


I will use sugar if the milkman fails in his appointed rounds.


Come to think of it, we haven't had shit fer rain since I got the bike out. Good for biking, bad for the dirt-n-plants. Of course, at this stage, the next rain will beat most of what's left of the azalea blooms into to ground.


The car gets some attention today, and it's well overdue, too.


https://i.pinimg.com/736x/bd/3d/4a/bd3d4ab5f64b0a7b44f0b7ce2c0f614e.jpg

 

[WoundedKnee]

Oh, sorry.

I have exciting news! Once the daffodils faded and were ready to be mowed down (the ones that come up where they're not supposed to) I discovered a peony bush.



I planted it two years ago.

~~ and ~~

We're less than 100 posts away from killing off this thread. Wat, don't get your shorts in a wad!

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Yeah, so I see. We get a fuckload of views for the postcount, too. Must be the scintillating wit, like that in post #10.


I'm waiting for a fuckload of books from Amazon. I'll have plenty to read when I hit the road again next week. It seems so far away and yet right up my arse, too.


So we're Hemis running on bacon, for the next thread? He'p a bruthuh remember, please.


Residual duck humor, juvenile (the ducks and/or the humor) will be tolerated . . . .


https://78.media.tumblr.com/9ed5f18ae5cac74b335a4463ce75fcd5/tumblr_p8d47cjTSi1wv0172o1_500.jpg

 

[WoundedKnee]

Yeah, it's already hump day. It's coming at you faster then a black and white with flashing red light...


Although I think nowadays that they are red and blue, maybe red, white and blue.


I CAN'T DRIVE 55!

 

[WoundedKnee]

I don't remember.
I can't recall.
And don't blame my gender!
My brain's in a blender.
It's like Jello™!

 

[oggbashan]

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/NA-iVK_ik3M/hqdefault.jpg

http://www.dumpaday.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/funny-duck-pictures.jpg

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Around here, they're all blue.


The city cars used to be white with blue labels, but they went to a dynamic b&w motif a few years ago. There are still some of the old ones, but not many.


They usually don't fuck with you unless you're standing over a stack of steaming bodies with a shot-to-lock semi-auto in hand. Then they want to know who you are . . . .


The county pissants are more like cowboys every day. If you have a headlight out (as opposed to two headlights out like this comely lassie) and get spotted, you had best hope that your papers are in order . . . .


http://www.qbpics.com/gals/alexis/14.jpg

 

[oggbashan]

http://wonwn.kr/data/file/510/3554192084_f984d9f5_21923_361319400631683_196181778_n.jpg

 

[WoundedKnee]

lol Ogg. Closing out the thread with a bang; trying to quack us up.


Well Wat, I kind of wondered where all the Kmart blue lights went, and now I know.

Virginia. Are your cops "special?"

 

[bellisarius]

Around here, they're all blue.


The city cars used to be white with blue labels, but they went to a dynamic b&w motif a few years ago. There are still some of the old ones, but not many.


They usually don't fuck with you unless you're standing over a stack of steaming bodies with a shot-to-lock semi-auto in hand. Then they want to know who you are . . . .


The county pissants are more like cowboys every day. If you have a headlight out (as opposed to two headlights out like this comely lassie) and get spotted, you had best hope that your papers are in order . . . .

That's as a results of "matching funds" from the Feds. "We'll give you money for new cars but you have to paint them black." The encroachment never ends.

 

[Endrura]

The ramblings were put together and assembled into The Hemi Dungeon Powered By Bacon.

Most are black and white here but there are several grey ghosts too, no top lights, they look grey but have a special paint so when you look at the side straight on you can see the police markings. Ontario also uses unmarked cars, don't bother trying to identify them, they are cars that were seized and modified and the OPP shuffle them regularly. The easiest way to avoid tickets is don't be an ass.

 

[WoundedKnee]

Oh hell. I thought he was talking about the lights.
I need coffee. I need to get to Denny's.