Is my bisexual wife losing interest?

[RalstonJames]

My wife and I have been happily married for more than 12 years. I've always known she was bi, and we sometimes you use in dirty pillow talk, etc, but other than that and watching a little lesbian porn together, we've never taken it any further. We've always had a fantastic sex life though as we both have very high sex drives.

Lately, though, she seems to be getting "cold," and sorta pulling away. We haven't had sex as much, and seems to be making excuses about it. When I finally confronted her, she admitted that she "just hasn't been in the mood," but did admit to still masturbating a lot. A few days later, I was finally able to get out of her that when she masturbates, she's almost always thinking of women.

Am I reading too much into this? Is this normal? Has this happened to anyone else? I love her for who she is, completely, but I'm worried she needs satisfaction that I can't give her. Do I need to let her "explore" a little bit with women?

Any insight / thoughts would be helpful ...

 

[newcouple1128]

My wife and I have been happily married for more than 12 years. I've always known she was bi, and we sometimes you use in dirty pillow talk, etc, but other than that and watching a little lesbian porn together, we've never taken it any further. We've always had a fantastic sex life though as we both have very high sex drives.

Lately, though, she seems to be getting "cold," and sorta pulling away. We haven't had sex as much, and seems to be making excuses about it. When I finally confronted her, she admitted that she "just hasn't been in the mood," but did admit to still masturbating a lot. A few days later, I was finally able to get out of her that when she masturbates, she's almost always thinking of women.

Am I reading too much into this? Is this normal? Has this happened to anyone else? I love her for who she is, completely, but I'm worried she needs satisfaction that I can't give her. Do I need to let her "explore" a little bit with women?

Any insight / thoughts would be helpful ...

So, my relationship with my wife is almost the opposite. We are both bi, but I would be your wife in the situation. Theres periods of times where I don't want to do it but still want to get off; and yes I usually get off to bi/gay porn. Does this mean I don't love my wife or want to be with a guy over her, hell no. It's just phases I go through where it's easier to get off alone and what not.

I think you might be reading into it a bit much. How would you feel if she experimented with another female? If you're okay with it maybe you should discuss her having a chance to experience that and you watch or something.

 

[roc23]

My wife and I have been happily married for more than 12 years. I've always known she was bi, and we sometimes you use in dirty pillow talk, etc, but other than that and watching a little lesbian porn together, we've never taken it any further. We've always had a fantastic sex life though as we both have very high sex drives.

Lately, though, she seems to be getting "cold," and sorta pulling away. We haven't had sex as much, and seems to be making excuses about it. When I finally confronted her, she admitted that she "just hasn't been in the mood," but did admit to still masturbating a lot. A few days later, I was finally able to get out of her that when she masturbates, she's almost always thinking of women.

Am I reading too much into this? Is this normal? Has this happened to anyone else? I love her for who she is, completely, but I'm worried she needs satisfaction that I can't give her. Do I need to let her "explore" a little bit with women?

Any insight / thoughts would be helpful ...

So your wife has never had any sexual contact with a woman during your marriage?
Maybe she’s met a woman that’s open to being sexual with her.
Could be she’s conflicted. She might want to actually explore her bi side but is worried about your reaction.

 

[RalstonJames]

She still says that she's never had sexual contact with a woman, and that there's no one else. Tried to get all romantic again tonight, and she wasn't really into it. She went to bed, and I stayed up, and a little while after she turned out the light, I heard her in there, pleasuring herself. I really wanted to join in, but she already didn't seem into it earlier, so I just let her go. Not sure what's going on ...

 

[hesshyshesnot]

My wife and I have been happily married for more than 12 years. I've always known she was bi, and we sometimes you use in dirty pillow talk, etc, but other than that and watching a little lesbian porn together, we've never taken it any further. We've always had a fantastic sex life though as we both have very high sex drives.

Lately, though, she seems to be getting "cold," and sorta pulling away. We haven't had sex as much, and seems to be making excuses about it. When I finally confronted her, she admitted that she "just hasn't been in the mood," but did admit to still masturbating a lot. A few days later, I was finally able to get out of her that when she masturbates, she's almost always thinking of women.

Am I reading too much into this? Is this normal? Has this happened to anyone else? I love her for who she is, completely, but I'm worried she needs satisfaction that I can't give her. Do I need to let her "explore" a little bit with women?

Any insight / thoughts would be helpful ...

So my husband would also be in your situation, and I'm basically in the situation of your wife. We have been married three years, and I do miss being with women. I have tried bringing it up to my husband, and we ended up setting some ground rules where I can play with another woman via text/email/whatever, but that if it feels like it's going beyond sexual (towards emotional), I'll cut it right away. He also gets to know some of the details (when her and I are talking, who she is/how we met, etc). He will never join in with her and I, but I would always let the other woman know that he will basically know about her.

 

[WandaGrabowski]

Show her something like this

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1602270583

If she gets aroused and fucks your socks off, that should be a good indicator of what she currently desires.

 

[roc23]

So my husband would also be in your situation, and I'm basically in the situation of your wife. We have been married three years, and I do miss being with women. I have tried bringing it up to my husband, and we ended up setting some ground rules where I can play with another woman via text/email/whatever, but that if it feels like it's going beyond sexual (towards emotional), I'll cut it right away. He also gets to know some of the details (when her and I are talking, who she is/how we met, etc). He will never join in with her and I, but I would always let the other woman know that he will basically know about her.

Exactly. Your husband basically has the same set of ground rules that I have when I date bi girls.
It’s all about honesty and respect.
And as far as the details,seems like every girl I’ve been with gets off on telling me all that went on the previous night. Win,win.

 

[LizVegas79]

My husband confessed awhile back when were discussing the possibility of exploring a 3-some that "re-awakening my bi-side" is one of his greatest fears. He knew what he was getting into with me (we've been married a little over 10 years) and like you, we've used some of my messed up past as dirty pillow talk/fuel for the fires on occasion.

As has been previously stated open and direct communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Shutting down or avoiding certain topics can be and usually is poison.

Talk to her about it without confronting her. Give her permission to explore either on her own with a promise to tell you all about it (yes, you'll have to listen to how she feels lol) or with you in attendance or possibly participating.

Create a safe, nurturing and supportive place for her to express her feelings and try, try not to judge her or read too much into what she says. Listen to her. Talk with her. but don't try to guess what she's going thru.

Keep us updated!

(Does she know about/ever join you on Lit?)

 

[bunny4med]

My husband confessed awhile back when were discussing the possibility of exploring a 3-some that "re-awakening my bi-side" is one of his greatest fears. He knew what he was getting into with me (we've been married a little over 10 years) and like you, we've used some of my messed up past as dirty pillow talk/fuel for the fires on occasion.

As has been previously stated open and direct communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Shutting down or avoiding certain topics can be and usually is poison.

Talk to her about it without confronting her. Give her permission to explore either on her own with a promise to tell you all about it (yes, you'll have to listen to how she feels lol) or with you in attendance or possibly participating.

Create a safe, nurturing and supportive place for her to express her feelings and try, try not to judge her or read too much into what she says. Listen to her. Talk with her. but don't try to guess what she's going thru.

Keep us updated!

(Does she know about/ever join you on Lit?)

fantastic advice. this is how my husband handled me being bi-curious. after 6 months he became a participant. open communication about true feelings is the key.

 

[bicuriohub]

This is some really good advice you guys are sharing! I feel like I'm currently in the same boat lately with my wife,she's also become a bit more quiet about sexual topics and discussion which we used to be way more open about,I truly feel like if I open up the so called safe zone of discussion and really let her know that if she wants to experiment or try a sexual experience with another woman then she'd be really happy and relieved by it and hopefully reignited for me and other women too really

 

[Mqoi]

My ex and I are both bi and we had an open marriage with a few rules about outside the marriage partners. Only with people of the same gender unless we were in a threesome was one. That satisfied her urge for pussy and mine for cock.