On BDSM Character Development

[GaleaFiguro]

Anybody else bothered by BDSM stories that leave out a power exchange?

Random man approaches girl ----> he demands things ---> the woman instantly complies.

No power struggle, power exchange, development on why the dominant has earned his position or why a reader can respect them as an authority in the story?

Making demands to someone (or else) and beating someone if they don't get their way isn't Domination or Submission. It's sadism, masochism...compliance and tolerance. Even that needs a preface. No domination or submission actually is happening, IMO. I can't seem to respect the characters. It makes some stories just silly and unrealistic.

Anyone else feel similarly?

 

[SimonDoom]

Anybody else bothered by BDSM stories that leave out a power exchange?

Random man approaches girl ----> he demands things ---> the woman instantly complies.

No power struggle, power exchange, development on why the dominant has earned his position or why a reader can respect them as an authority in the story?

Making demands to someone (or else) and beating someone if they don't get their way isn't Domination or Submission. It's sadism, masochism...compliance and tolerance. Even that needs a preface. No domination or submission actually is happening, IMO. I can't seem to respect the characters. It makes some stories just silly and unrealistic.

Anyone else feel similarly?

I agree, completely, that the exchange of power is important. It's what makes this category interesting to me. I like the idea of people exchanging power that you wouldn't necessarily expect to exchange power, but who have a motive to do so, nonetheless. That was the basis of my sole (so far) story in the BDSM category. I've got another one cooking that I hope to publish before the Valentine's Day competition deadline. That one will involve rope.

 

[GaleaFiguro]

I agree, completely, that the exchange of power is important. It's what makes this category interesting to me. I like the idea of people exchanging power that you wouldn't necessarily expect to exchange power, but who have a motive to do so, nonetheless. That was the basis of my sole (so far) story in the BDSM category. I've got another one cooking that I hope to publish before the Valentine's Day competition deadline. That one will involve rope.

Can't wait to read it.

 

[GaleaFiguro]

I also want to mention in the realm of discussing stories where I feel someone had the right idea about things was that one story. Something about Lupa and Glasgow. Only dude I've read that has a good grasp of the way a dominant is supposed to operate.

Yes, it is written from a point of modesty and gentleness but because they are acutely aware of boundaries and what their partner is feeling, this is why I feel it's the most realistic healthy portrayal of the subject. Not many people can get the hang of depicting BDSM in a healthy way. It's not all violence and such. Most of the stories on this site are fantasy or scenes. Not relationships on the premise of power dynamics.

 

[visioneer]

Your point about many BDSM stories being unrealistic or boorish is well-taken.

That said, there are some excellent writers on Lit who know how to spin a quality D/s or BDSM tale, though discovering them can be hit or miss. For starters, I recommend jhollander's 'Rock and Water' and north200's 'Twelve Gates.'

And when you find a good author, be sure to check out their Favorites. This often leads to other authors you'll find appealing.

 

[GaleaFiguro]

Your point about many BDSM stories being unrealistic or boorish is well-taken.

That said, there are some excellent writers on Lit who know how to spin a quality D/s or BDSM tale, though discovering them can be hit or miss. For starters, I recommend jhollander's 'Rock and Water' and north200's 'Twelve Gates.'

And when you find a good author, be sure to check out their Favorites. This often leads to other authors you'll find appealing.

Thank you so much for your advice. I will check these out!

 

[Bramblethorn]

Anybody else bothered by BDSM stories that leave out a power exchange?

Random man approaches girl ----> he demands things ---> the woman instantly complies.

No power struggle, power exchange, development on why the dominant has earned his position or why a reader can respect them as an authority in the story?

Making demands to someone (or else) and beating someone if they don't get their way isn't Domination or Submission. It's sadism, masochism...compliance and tolerance. Even that needs a preface. No domination or submission actually is happening, IMO. I can't seem to respect the characters. It makes some stories just silly and unrealistic.

Anyone else feel similarly?

Yep. It's sad, because for me the conversation is one of the most interesting parts of a BDSM story.

 

[lovecraft68]

Welcome to BDSM erotic story site style which is all about 'alpha' males controlling or simply beating and abusing submissive women. I'd like to say this is the 50 shades effect, but it was getting like that before that stalking filth was unleashed on us.

This site is crap for actual BDSM because the site caters to male ego to the point femdom stories are flamed unless they're in fetish.

If you want better BDSM spend money on e-books, but read the descriptions because many losers publish pure non con and try to pass it off as BDSM

Just like lit does.

 

[yukonnights]

I've been aroused and interested in power exchange for a long time. In my mind, it is heavily weighted toward a shared mental experience. I say this knowing from my own reading, that for many the actual physical acts seem more important. Either way, it is the Dominant/submissive dynamic that drives the boat ...it is that "power exchange" (or in some cases, the power balance reinforced and reiterated) that brings the thrill.

Therefore, the stories that rely heavily on "physical description" coupled with a lack of abundant inner dialogue/feelings/emotions, can only come of as sadism/masochism. To some, these described scenes satisfy their "itch". But I find them totally shallow and unsatisfying...void of any real connection to what BDSM is at the foundational level...mind games meant to enhance a shared love...or at the very least, a shared and uplifting kink for those who have no love connection.

(I should add this disclaimer to my signature; Before you spend energy on an angry response, please know that I realize that no statement of a few words can encompass every human, every emotion, every experience or every desire. But sadly, no one wants to read my entire 'book' on all of that.)

 

[KCWinter]

My entry in the winter holidays contest was a BDSM story, but the relationship was already established between the Dom and sub.

I'm in two D/s relationships (as the s), so hopefully if I write more BDSM stories, I'll get them right.

 

[yukonnights]

My entry in the winter holidays contest was a BDSM story, but the relationship was already established between the Dom and sub.

I'm in two D/s relationships (as the s), so hopefully if I write more BDSM stories, I'll get them right.

Practice makes perfect...in so many ways! I better go take a peek at that story.

 

[yukonnights]

I also want to mention in the realm of discussing stories where I feel someone had the right idea about things was that one story. Something about Lupa and Glasgow. Only dude I've read that has a good grasp of the way a dominant is supposed to operate.

Yes, it is written from a point of modesty and gentleness but because they are acutely aware of boundaries and what their partner is feeling, this is why I feel it's the most realistic healthy portrayal of the subject. Not many people can get the hang of depicting BDSM in a healthy way. It's not all violence and such. Most of the stories on this site are fantasy or scenes. Not relationships on the premise of power dynamics.

I tried a few searches for this story, but no luck I'm assuming it's a story here on Literotica? Do you have any further info on it? I really enjoy your comments, and would like to read something you believe is well written and on track.

 

[xelliebabex]

I've been aroused and interested in power exchange for a long time. In my mind, it is heavily weighted toward a shared mental experience. I say this knowing from my own reading, that for many the actual physical acts seem more important. Either way, it is the Dominant/submissive dynamic that drives the boat ...it is that "power exchange" (or in some cases, the power balance reinforced and reiterated) that brings the thrill.

Therefore, the stories that rely heavily on "physical description" coupled with a lack of abundant inner dialogue/feelings/emotions, can only come of as sadism/masochism. To some, these described scenes satisfy their "itch". But I find them totally shallow and unsatisfying...void of any real connection to what BDSM is at the foundational level...mind games meant to enhance a shared love...or at the very least, a shared and uplifting kink for those who have no love connection.

(I should add this disclaimer to my signature; Before you spend energy on an angry response, please know that I realize that no statement of a few words can encompass every human, every emotion, every experience or every desire. But sadly, no one wants to read my entire 'book' on all of that.)

I'm a big fan of the inner dialogue, particularly at the beginnings of a relationship that will encompass a lifestyle change for one of the characters. I write in the BDSM category but there are so many flavours in the lifestyle that it would be hard to please everyone with just one approach to writing about the lifestyle. Finding what works for you, for some it's just like angry sex for others a deep commitment to the power exchange. Like all taboo's its all in how you handle it and what works for you.

Lovecraft has a very hard line drawn in the sand about the nature of consent and that flavours his opinions on the bdsm writing here, I, on the other hand, have more blurred and grey lines that tend toward reluctant consent at the beginning of such relationships where not everything is black and white and there are significant shifts in thinking for the characters who may initially be subjected to coercement good or bad. Hence my liking for inner dialogue.

Not all readers are looking for the deeper story, some just want a short to the point stroke piece and there is something to be said for that too.

I hope you find the stories that work for you

 

[yukonnights]

I'm a big fan of the inner dialogue, particularly at the beginnings of a relationship that will encompass a lifestyle change for one of the characters. I write in the BDSM category but there are so many flavours in the lifestyle that it would be hard to please everyone with just one approach to writing about the lifestyle. Finding what works for you, for some it's just like angry sex for others a deep commitment to the power exchange. Like all taboo's its all in how you handle it and what works for you.

Lovecraft has a very hard line drawn in the sand about the nature of consent and that flavours his opinions on the bdsm writing here, I, on the other hand, have more blurred and grey lines that tend toward reluctant consent at the beginning of such relationships where not everything is black and white and there are significant shifts in thinking for the characters who may initially be subjected to coercement good or bad. Hence my liking for inner dialogue.

Not all readers are looking for the deeper story, some just want a short to the point stroke piece and there is something to be said for that too.

I hope you find the stories that work for you

Well said. I can say I share in your approach. I didn't realize it until you quoted what I wrote, but I was also speaking of the kind of writing I strive for in the use of abundant inner dialogue. (that part must have just resided in my head and didn't make it to the keyboard ) It's the most fruitful way I know to share the hidden doubts and realized new heights people experience in the silence of their own minds. I also flirt with tentative non-consent quite often, but always as a prelude to a wonderful self-discovery that eventually comes for the character.

I'll be sure to read some of your works, they sound interesting.

 

[PuckIt]

Back in my first iteration, I tried to make a mud pie and call it confection for the BDSM readers that was intended to be a little more than "smack the crap out of her and call it good sex."

I think I still remember the basic plotline I had in mind. And maybe sometime I'll back up and take another stab at what I'd actually intended with "Taming Jet" Ch. 01 and Ch. 02. (Chapters 03 and 04 got kicked back while I was incapacitated for a couple of months.)

If I do go back to Logan and Jet, I'll damn sure not be trying to write a story (or a chapter since I refuse to do chapters anymore) from first word to hitting submit in a single day like I was then and try to polish up some of the ragged edges I let creep in in those two since I was scribbling for quantity competing in the Survivor Contest that year instead of making sure the quality was at least semi-decent.

I think I could do a little better than that now. It shouldn't be too hard after all. God, I hope I can do better than that now!

 

[tomlitilia]

I agree with the sentiment of the OP. And frankly I think the issue of lacking depths to stories goes beyond BDSM. A lot of stories move very quickly to the action/kink the author wish to describe, without the build-up. And IMO, the ability to describe emotions and conflicts is where the written word shines. If you just want to have an action described, watching porn is probably more efficient.

If you're interested in (primarily) Lesbian domination, my Above and Beyond series (see link below) is my attempt att a gradual submission, with a lot of inner conflict.

 

[My I]

Anybody else bothered by BDSM stories that leave out a power exchange?

Random man approaches girl ----> he demands things ---> the woman instantly complies.

No power struggle, power exchange, development on why the dominant has earned his position or why a reader can respect them as an authority in the story?

Anyone else feel similarly?

In "The Striped Shirt" I wrote first person from a guy that angrily confronts his wife when she arrives home. There is a brief, sort-of-explanation just before she arrives but at the end you suddenly realize it was not really that at all. I think it came off very well without a longer more detailed explanation. And even the BDSM crowd seemed to like it. It's the twist at the end that really makes the story.