I am confused and frustrated

[miniwritessmut]

OK, so, let me preface this by saying that none of this is meant to be ignorant or hurtful, so if my language is improper I do apologize. I'm doing the best I can.

I've known for the longest time that I'm not totally straight, but I don't know how to really describe myself, either. I have a wonderful girlfriend in a polyamorous relationship (she's married to a great dude, but we have no physical relationship) and I'm quite happy with that, but I'm also very, very curious about pursuing a relationship with other people at some point. A lot of my fantasies involve sissies and trans women and pegging and dominance, but that's what confuses me. Am I bi for liking "feminine" guys - sissies - or is that still "straight? Is it wrong to fantasize about having sex with an ultra-feminine trans woman? Like, I don't want to reduce someone's humanity to a fetish and I don't know how to reconcile the two.

So I guess my question is, what the fuck am I? Bi? Pan? Stupid guy who asks too many questions? Ultimately, I know the label's not strictly necessary - I'm a white dude in a patriarchal society and I am not in any way oppressed so I don't want to co-opt a movement that doesn't really apply to me.

Thanks for reading, and I once again apologize if this offends. (Intent is not magic and all.)

 

[bigdavie106]

I'd say you're normal! If there even is such a thing. Seems to be you've a healthy clear idea of what you like, and maybe the confusion or frustration comes from not being able to articulate it (although you did a fine job here!) and so maybe having a handy label would help. But guess what... Life isn't like that! So talk about it, or don't talk about it... But just enjoy it. It's who you are.

 

[mtsnowrider]

I'd say your confused, frustrated and probably horny, and you'd be better off experimenting to discover what you want than spending time looking for the right label

 

[leather_spitfire]

i’m just going to echo what the others said. why worry about labels? you like what you like and whom you like, nothing else really matters does it?

 

[stickygirl]

I've known for the longest time that I'm not totally straight

There are two types of people: those intelligent enough to make that statement and knuckle-draggers.
Welcome to the human race and the LGBT

 

[SissySalina]

OK, so, let me preface this by saying that none of this is meant to be ignorant or hurtful, so if my language is improper I do apologize. I'm doing the best I can.

I've known for the longest time that I'm not totally straight, but I don't know how to really describe myself, either. I have a wonderful girlfriend in a polyamorous relationship (she's married to a great dude, but we have no physical relationship) and I'm quite happy with that, but I'm also very, very curious about pursuing a relationship with other people at some point. A lot of my fantasies involve sissies and trans women and pegging and dominance, but that's what confuses me. Am I bi for liking "feminine" guys - sissies - or is that still "straight? Is it wrong to fantasize about having sex with an ultra-feminine trans woman? Like, I don't want to reduce someone's humanity to a fetish and I don't know how to reconcile the two.

So I guess my question is, what the fuck am I? Bi? Pan? Stupid guy who asks too many questions? Ultimately, I know the label's not strictly necessary - I'm a white dude in a patriarchal society and I am not in any way oppressed so I don't want to co-opt a movement that doesn't really apply to me.

Thanks for reading, and I once again apologize if this offends. (Intent is not magic and all.)

If you really need a label her is on, "ME", that is who you are. You are yourself and now you are thinking of finding other things out.
It sounds like you still fantasize about feminine people, so sissy would guess you are not interested in a gay relationship with a man.
Best thing is do not worry about labels and just be yourself.
If you really need a label then us "Me".

 

[2wayroad]

Don't worry about "reducing" someone to a fetish. You may very well be theirs. Think of sexually as a spectrum, graph or needle on a gauge that can fluctuate. No need to put yourself in a box and lable youself.

I don't mind being on the receiving end of a straight man's curiosity. I don't feel "reduced" because of it. I get as much from the experience as he does, even if he thinks he's using me. As a matter of fact, part of what I get off on is feeling like I'm being used.

Go into new experiences with an open mind. You still have a straight mindset. Now you can begin to feel comfortable with being a man who will find partners who desire and enjoy that.

 

[Hitchiker69]

You're horny, with natural urges and diverse tastes...just like me. I've had men and women, I'd like more. I like fem boys. I think it's natural, though not well accepted.

 

[Mqoi]

I like sex with both men and women. Some people say that makes me bi, and I'll use the term myself some too. But inside, I'm just me and I'm perfectly normal for me.

 

[yukonnights]

OK, so, let me preface this by saying that none of this is meant to be ignorant or hurtful, so if my language is improper I do apologize. I'm doing the best I can.

I've known for the longest time that I'm not totally straight, but I don't know how to really describe myself, either. I have a wonderful girlfriend in a polyamorous relationship (she's married to a great dude, but we have no physical relationship) and I'm quite happy with that, but I'm also very, very curious about pursuing a relationship with other people at some point. A lot of my fantasies involve sissies and trans women and pegging and dominance, but that's what confuses me. Am I bi for liking "feminine" guys - sissies - or is that still "straight? Is it wrong to fantasize about having sex with an ultra-feminine trans woman? Like, I don't want to reduce someone's humanity to a fetish and I don't know how to reconcile the two.

So I guess my question is, what the fuck am I? Bi? Pan? Stupid guy who asks too many questions? Ultimately, I know the label's not strictly necessary - I'm a white dude in a patriarchal society and I am not in any way oppressed so I don't want to co-opt a movement that doesn't really apply to me.

Thanks for reading, and I once again apologize if this offends. (Intent is not magic and all.)

I'm going to go against the tide here and say: Don't be afraid of so called "labels". They are just words...descriptors... that can help you define and articulate your self perceived understanding. It's the age of knowledge, so use your fingers and keyboard and do some research. Deep down you know yourself, what arouses you, who you're attracted to...you know yourself, and you're the only one who does. Personally I think you just lack knowledge of the "descriptors" and a bit of head knowledge to feel more comfortable about who you already are.

I know precisely who I am, and it didn't come about from denial or sticking my head in the sand for fear of what I would find. Don't worry, it'll get better.

PS: I also disagree with you're statement that you're not oppressed. Currently there still exists oppression in many places for those who try to step outside of the hetero "label". In fact, forcing that "label" on you epitomizes oppression.

 

[SparkyMark1961]

i’m just going to echo what the others said. why worry about labels? you like what you like and whom you like, nothing else really matters does it?

Well said, Leather.
I agree.

 

[Mqoi]

Sounds to me like you just need some cock. We all need some now and again. A cock in your mouth or in your ass can clear your mind and adjust any attitudes you might have.

 

[miniwritessmut]

Thank you for the responses, everyone. I appreciate the input.

Also, last night the g/f and I were, uh, appreciating each other's input, and spur-of-the-moment I asked her if she'd be down to see me blow a cute femboy, to which she both came a little and absolutely lit up. So I guess we've got goals for the new year. :-D

 

[yukonnights]

Thank you for the responses, everyone. I appreciate the input.

Also, last night the g/f and I were, uh, appreciating each other's input, and spur-of-the-moment I asked her if she'd be down to see me blow a cute femboy, to which she both came a little and absolutely lit up. So I guess we've got goals for the new year. :-D

Congratulations....and all that worry for nothing

As an aside, I once dated a girl who loved to watch gay porn, and there
is a thread here somewhere in which that is the discussion...I think men make it a bigger issue than it is

 

[Hitchiker69]

Who the hell told you sexuality was simple, and well defined? It's a primal, animal instinct...not logical or left brained. It resists being categorized because it's carnal, and brings out the animal in us.
Just enjoy yourself as long as you're not causing problems. Enjoy sex...it's a natural urge, regardless who you do it with, or their gender.
You like tits and ass...good for you. You like cocks? That's great too, so many people do.
Enjoy. Life is short.
Cumming is good. Making others cum is excellent.

 

[Mqoi]

A lot guys think that having sex with another guy threatens their masculinity somehow. Seems to me that having sex with both men and women makes one more masculine.