Can You Actually Be In Love With 2 People At The Same Time??

[Shyguy1369]

Can You Actually Love 2 People At The Same Time??

I haven't been on here in a LONG time. I have a girlfriend that I love very much. I want to be with her all the time. We have been together for going on 7 years, spending the first 3 and half years doing the long distance thing, and now almost 3 and half years living together.
In the last 2 months, a friend of ours who we met about a year and half ago I feel I have been developing feelings for. However, I am very much in love with my girlfriend. This other girl and I have had some flirtatious message exchanges, but I feel the feelings I know have had in the beginnings of the relationship I am now in.
Now, I know it could just be lust for this new girl. However, I have really wanted to know what people actually think.
First, I do know there are some polyamorous couples that probably are in this situation. So if anyone in that situation can respond as well, that would be nice.
So I guess I want to know, as the title suggests:
Can you actually be in love with 2 people at the same time??

 

[patient1]

I never have, but your mileage may vary.

 

[Saint_Ann]

I haven't been on here in a LONG time. I have a girlfriend that I love very much. I want to be with her all the time. We have been together for going on 7 years, spending the first 3 and half years doing the long distance thing, and now almost 3 and half years living together.
In the last 2 months, a friend of ours who we met about a year and half ago I feel I have been developing feelings for. However, I am very much in love with my girlfriend. This other girl and I have had some flirtatious message exchanges, but I feel the feelings I know have had in the beginnings of the relationship I am now in.
Now, I know it could just be lust for this new girl. However, I have really wanted to know what people actually think.
First, I do know there are some polyamorous couples that probably are in this situation. So if anyone in that situation can respond as well, that would be nice.
So I guess I want to know, as the title suggests:
Can you actually be in love with 2 people at the same time??

I wonder if there is an upper end to that scale. How about 3 at a time. Or 10. 1 or 0 is certainly attainable. I guess what I need to know is, is love finite?

 

[lovetoread]

only if you are into poly and if your partner is in love with them too

or

you have an open relationship and are totally ok with the partner finding someone else to love and care for

 

[Shyguy1369]

only if you are into poly and if your partner is in love with them too

or

you have an open relationship and are totally ok with the partner finding someone else to love and care for

So you're saying that you're thinking it's just lust or a crush, and not actual love. I have never considered poly, nor has my girlfriend. We also haven't discussed an open relationship, so perhaps it is just lust or a crush. Just... right now it does feel like a whole lot more.

 

[Comshaw]

I wonder if there is an upper end to that scale. How about 3 at a time. Or 10. 1 or 0 is certainly attainable. I guess what I need to know is, is love finite?

Since he's talking about love and not sex (which is another discussion entirely) I don't believe it is finite other than self imposed limits. If you have more then one child, can you love only one or all of them? The question goes for anyone where you have multiples: brothers, sisters, cousins, grandparents.
As far as I'm concerned loving multiple people at once is only limited by the capacity of the one who loves and the absence of jealousy and feelings of ownership in those loved.

It's surprising what the human animal is capable of once they allow themselves the freedom to be who they are.



Comshaw

 

[Shyguy1369]

Since he's talking about love and not sex (which is another discussion entirely) I don't believe it is finite other than self imposed limits. If you have more then one child, can you love only one or all of them? The question goes for anyone where you have multiples: brothers, sisters, cousins, grandparents.
As far as I'm concerned loving multiple people at once is only limited by the capacity of the one who loves and the absence of jealousy and feelings of ownership in those loved.

It's surprising what the human animal is capable of once they allow themselves the freedom to be who they are.



Comshaw

See I was thinking something similar as well. Like parents love their children. For the most part, brothers and sisters all love each other. It's a different kind of love than romantic love, sure but it's love.
This other girl and I have never had sex, nor are we ever planning to. She knows I care about her, but she probably doesn't know how much I care. I just have been developing feelings for her, and I am just a tad confused I guess.

 

[Saint_Ann]

Polyamory is just polygamy with some love colored fairy dust sprinkled on top.

 

[Saint_Ann]

Since he's talking about love and not sex (which is another discussion entirely) I don't believe it is finite other than self imposed limits. If you have more then one child, can you love only one or all of them? The question goes for anyone where you have multiples: brothers, sisters, cousins, grandparents.
As far as I'm concerned loving multiple people at once is only limited by the capacity of the one who loves and the absence of jealousy and feelings of ownership in those loved.

It's surprising what the human animal is capable of once they allow themselves the freedom to be who they are.





Comshaw

Does each child get the same amount of love or do they get love/#child?

 

[EternalFantasies]

I haven't been on here in a LONG time. I have a girlfriend that I love very much. I want to be with her all the time. We have been together for going on 7 years, spending the first 3 and half years doing the long distance thing, and now almost 3 and half years living together.
In the last 2 months, a friend of ours who we met about a year and half ago I feel I have been developing feelings for. However, I am very much in love with my girlfriend. This other girl and I have had some flirtatious message exchanges, but I feel the feelings I know have had in the beginnings of the relationship I am now in.
Now, I know it could just be lust for this new girl. However, I have really wanted to know what people actually think.
First, I do know there are some polyamorous couples that probably are in this situation. So if anyone in that situation can respond as well, that would be nice.
So I guess I want to know, as the title suggests:
Can you actually be in love with 2 people at the same time??

Depends on how you define love.

But the real one? No.

 

[EternalFantasies]

only if you are into poly and if your partner is in love with them too

or

you have an open relationship and are totally ok with the partner finding someone else to love and care for

A load of pure BS.

Here: Listen to this all night tonight, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raNGeq3_DtM and say one Our father & three Hail Mary's.

Signed: A foreigner

 

[Froya]

Yes, it's possible. It's also complicated, because it's not a situation many people know how to navigate. This new relationship you're in may never become sexual, but emotional affairs can also cause pain and confusion for your primary partner should she find out.

Your feelings are what they are. Only you know if it feels like love or not. What you choose to do with them is what's really important.

 

[Hypoxia]

Ask your next group sex session.

 

[EternalFantasies]

Someone did not take their pill tonight.

 

[Que]

I haven't been on here in a LONG time. I have a girlfriend that I love very much. I want to be with her all the time. We have been together for going on 7 years, spending the first 3 and half years doing the long distance thing, and now almost 3 and half years living together.
In the last 2 months, a friend of ours who we met about a year and half ago I feel I have been developing feelings for. However, I am very much in love with my girlfriend. This other girl and I have had some flirtatious message exchanges, but I feel the feelings I know have had in the beginnings of the relationship I am now in.
Now, I know it could just be lust for this new girl. However, I have really wanted to know what people actually think.
First, I do know there are some polyamorous couples that probably are in this situation. So if anyone in that situation can respond as well, that would be nice.
So I guess I want to know, as the title suggests:
Can you actually be in love with 2 people at the same time??

Fantasizing about cheating is not "polyamorous."

Unless you and your actual partner have had a discussion about opening your relationship to polyamorous possibilities you are not a "polyamorous couple."

Human beings are capable of being attracted emotionally, physically or both to an infinite number of people. Love and attraction are related but being attracted is not love. Love is something you actually do; it's an action verb.

You know, like be faithful if that is your commitment. Like own up to it when you fall short.

 

[Que]

Polyamory is just polygamy with some love colored fairy dust sprinkled on top.

. . .and interestingly rarely involves polyandry.

 

[Debbie]

I haven't been on here in a LONG time. I have a girlfriend that I love very much. I want to be with her all the time. We have been together for going on 7 years, spending the first 3 and half years doing the long distance thing, and now almost 3 and half years living together.
In the last 2 months, a friend of ours who we met about a year and half ago I feel I have been developing feelings for. However, I am very much in love with my girlfriend. This other girl and I have had some flirtatious message exchanges, but I feel the feelings I know have had in the beginnings of the relationship I am now in.
Now, I know it could just be lust for this new girl. However, I have really wanted to know what people actually think.
First, I do know there are some polyamorous couples that probably are in this situation. So if anyone in that situation can respond as well, that would be nice.
So I guess I want to know, as the title suggests:
Can you actually be in love with 2 people at the same time??

I think it is a possibility BUT it sounds like it all could get quite complicated in your present situation as you've posted what is going on in your life at the moment with the 2 different possible lady loves.

In saying that I don't see why you couldn't discuss it with your main lady and see what happens.

Good luck and much happiness to you all and welcome back from your mini staycation from here.

 

[Saint_Ann]

. . .and interestingly rarely involves polyandry.

Seeking love advice from a forum full of narcissists could be misleading.

 

[Dinosaur1]

I haven't been on here in a LONG time. I have a girlfriend that I love very much. I want to be with her all the time. We have been together for going on 7 years, spending the first 3 and half years doing the long distance thing, and now almost 3 and half years living together.
In the last 2 months, a friend of ours who we met about a year and half ago I feel I have been developing feelings for. However, I am very much in love with my girlfriend. This other girl and I have had some flirtatious message exchanges, but I feel the feelings I know have had in the beginnings of the relationship I am now in.
Now, I know it could just be lust for this new girl. However, I have really wanted to know what people actually think.
First, I do know there are some polyamorous couples that probably are in this situation. So if anyone in that situation can respond as well, that would be nice.
So I guess I want to know, as the title suggests:
Can you actually be in love with 2 people at the same time??

I've been in your position before. I have to say No. I lived with a woman for about 6 years and was deeply in love. Though there were several other women I had become infatuated with, there was no true love with them......simply infatuation and lust. The woman I lived with then knew this difference and recognized it before I did. We did try swinging, but it just wasn't for us. None of the others are around or in my life for quite some time. However, I've maintained a distant friendship w/the woman I lived with - lately I've been unwittingly "courting" her again, slowly. There's still a chemistry that will never fade, but I know we do love each other on different levels beyond anything physical. Neither of us is dating anyone else. I believe we are mentally committed to each other again.

Hope that makes sense and helps.

 

[KimGordon67]

Yes .

 

[jezzilee]

only if you are into poly and if your partner is in love with them too

or

you have an open relationship and are totally ok with the partner finding someone else to love and care for

How would that make you feel? It doesn't sound like she has the feelings for this person that you do. The beginning of a relationship is always exciting. It is always a thrill. The unknown, the wonderment of how things will progress...

So you're saying that you're thinking it's just lust or a crush, and not actual love. I have never considered poly, nor has my girlfriend. We also haven't discussed an open relationship, so perhaps it is just lust or a crush. Just... right now it does feel like a whole lot more.

Honestly I did not get that from her reply at all. Please see above.

Yes, it's possible. It's also complicated, because it's not a situation many people know how to navigate. This new relationship you're in may never become sexual, but emotional affairs can also cause pain and confusion for your primary partner should she find out.

You really need to talk to your partner, of 7 years, not a message board full of strangers.

 

[patient1]

Upon further reflection, I recall that it's unusual for The Bachelor and The Bachelorette not to be " in love", or "falling in love", with multiple people simultaneously. So maybe it's perfectly normal for most people. The trouble is that they usually wind up married to nobody, even when they've been on multiple seasons.

 

[Dinosaur1]

Upon further reflection, I recall that it's unusual for The Bachelor and The Bachelorette not to be " in love", or "falling in love", with multiple people simultaneously. So maybe it's perfectly normal for most people. The trouble is that they usually wind up married to nobody, even when they've been on multiple seasons.

So this is really about TV shows?

 

[jezzilee]

So this is really about TV shows?

I don't think the OP is talking about reality TV shows. He is trying to figure out if his feelings for his girlfriend and his mutual friend are real or if he is in lust.

 

[jezzilee]

Let's Get Technical

https://78.media.tumblr.com/fcac4fc477744bb16d1220e262d1c454/tumblr_owowitncbs1vrawnyo1_540.png