Going Home

[MelissaBaby]

For the first time in a year and a half, I am going to go home for a visit. My boyfriend Dwight and I will fly from Detroit to Portland tomorrow morning, rent a car and drive a couple of hours to my mother's house. We will be staying with her, hoping the weather is good enough for me to show Dwight some of Maine, and then coming home on Saturday.

I want to see my Mom so badly, it is almost a physical ache. I want to show my man the places that have been important in my life. I want to sit and talk with my brother, and after four years of estrangement, put things right between us.

I have never flown before, and I'm a bit anxious about that. I would also be grateful if Dwight would stop making Get Out jokes, but I think that's his way of dealing with his anxiety. But even so, I am looking forward to a wonderful time.

I may or may not pop in here once in a while, especially if we get snowed in, but I will take this chance to wish everyone a happy new year.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

I would also be grateful if Dwight would stop making Get Out jokes, but I think that's his way of dealing with his anxiety.

Heh. I feel him on that, though.

You have to understand how on the money that flick was from a Black perspective. I can understand how the jokes flying from that might get on your nerves because they were all over the place when the movie came out (and still going on) while feeling that it punches down at you. Yet, it was highly effective satire and many heads on diff sides of the fences "got" the message, which I thought was a testament to how good the film was. It's on many Bests lists and rightly so.

Your relationship with him is not a movie, of course, yet if you can laugh along with him in recognition of those references, I think it takes some of the pressure out of the reality and verity of IR. Dunno if your family could laugh along with you, but it's good enough to know you two got it hand-in-hand. Buddha knows there are a plethora of otherwise awful flicks to reference. Enjoy the homestay break as you kick off your new year!

 

[neci]

happy early new year!

i hope the time with your family goes peacefully.

 

[Amoebah]

Mainers are deeply racist. Good luck!

 

[MelissaBaby]

Heh. I feel him on that, though.

You have to understand how on the money that flick was from a Black perspective. I can understand how the jokes flying from that might get on your nerves because they were all over the place when the movie came out (and still going on) while feeling that it punches down at you. Yet, it was highly effective satire and many heads on diff sides of the fences "got" the message, which I thought was a testament to how good the film was. It's on many Bests lists and rightly so.

Your relationship with him is not a movie, of course, yet if you can laugh along with him in recognition of those references, I think it takes some of the pressure out of the reality and verity of IR. Dunno if your family could laugh along with you, but it's good enough to know you two got it hand-in-hand. Buddha knows there are a plethora of otherwise awful flicks to reference. Enjoy the homestay break as you kick off your new year!

The jokes bother me in that they indicate some apprehension on his part, and my natural instinct is to try to alleviate that. I don't think there is anything to worry about, but of course, he knows better then I ever could if his feelings are justified.

I can laugh along with his jokes, we've found our comfort zone. I think my family will be fine. I know my mother will. All she cares about is that he's good to me, and besides, he is insisting that while we are there, he cooks dinner for her at least once. That will win her over for sure.

Zumi, you are a good friend and a wise counselor. Have a wonderful new year.

 

[MelissaBaby]

happy early new year!

i hope the time with your family goes peacefully.

Thank you, Neci. Happy new year.

 

[toofargone]

I hope you enjoy your time at home!

 

[thør]

Homeward Bound

 

[adrina]

I hope your visit is going well.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

I hope your visit is going well.

Seconded, Mel.

That Bombogenesis goin' on outside ain't no walk in the park! Hope you got lots o' grub and plenty of Netflix inside!

 

[MelissaBaby]

I probably don't have a future as a vacation planner.

It has finally quieted down. All day yesterday and all through the night the wind sounded like freight trains rumbling past the house. I have no idea how much snow we've gotten, because there is no way to tell how much is new, and how much is the snow from last week's storm being blown around in the 50 mph winds. Bangor is reporting 18 inches at the airport, so we are certainly in that range.

We even had thundersnow yesterday afternoon.

At least the storm brought some warmer air with it, pushing the temperature up into the twenties. It was -16 when we arrived on Sunday. As the storm moves out, we are headed right back down to subzero temps.

But we are safe and we are warm and we are having a wonderful time, despite the weather. We braved the cold to explore the coast a little, and Dwight got to try some of the local cuisine. I expect lobster mac and cheese to start showing up on his menus.

We had dinner with my brother's family on Monday. When they came in the door, he took me in his arms and hugged me and I just broke down and bawled. My niece looked at my mother and asked "Grandma, why is that lady crying?"

I met with him the next night, while my Mom and Dwight went to see Star Wars. It went well. We will be in each other's lives from now on.

My Mom is my Mom. She welcomed us with love. Just sitting and talking with her, eating a meal with her, sleeping under her roof, has recharged my soul.

She's still sleeping, as is Dwight. They will be up soon, so I am going to go prep to make everybody french toast. We will spend a good part of the day today digging out, and head home tomorrow. But we will be back.

(This was before the storm)

https://i.imgur.com/UkwSB8U.jpg?1

 

[Radiohead]

I'm glad you reappeared, but when I looked Maine up I just thought why the fuck did you not go to Montreal

 

[adrina]

I probably don't have a future as a vacation planner.

It has finally quieted down. All day yesterday and all through the night the wind sounded like freight trains rumbling past the house. I have no idea how much snow we've gotten, because there is no way to tell how much is new, and how much is the snow from last week's storm being blown around in the 50 mph winds. Bangor is reporting 18 inches at the airport, so we are certainly in that range.

We even had thundersnow yesterday afternoon.

At least the storm brought some warmer air with it, pushing the temperature up into the twenties. It was -16 when we arrived on Sunday. As the storm moves out, we are headed right back down to subzero temps.

But we are safe and we are warm and we are having a wonderful time, despite the weather. We braved the cold to explore the coast a little, and Dwight got to try some of the local cuisine. I expect lobster mac and cheese to start showing up on his menus.

We had dinner with my brother's family on Monday. When they came in the door, he took me in his arms and hugged me and I just broke down and bawled. My niece looked at my mother and asked "Grandma, why is that lady crying?"

I met with him the next night, while my Mom and Dwight went to see Star Wars. It went well. We will be in each other's lives from now on.

My Mom is my Mom. She welcomed us with love. Just sitting and talking with her, eating a meal with her, sleeping under her roof, has recharged my soul.

She's still sleeping, as is Dwight. They will be up soon, so I am going to go prep to make everybody french toast. We will spend a good part of the day today digging out, and head home tomorrow. But we will be back.

(This was before the storm)

I am glad you are having a good time. It's nice to hear about your brother - it's good to get these things straightened out. There's something about moms that do that - recharging.

Be safe.

 

[stickygirl]

We had dinner with my brother's family on Monday. When they came in the door, he took me in his arms and hugged me and I just broke down and bawled. My niece looked at my mother and asked "Grandma, why is that lady crying?"

I met with him the next night, while my Mom and Dwight went to see Star Wars. It went well. We will be in each other's lives from now on.

My Mom is my Mom. She welcomed us with love. Just sitting and talking with her, eating a meal with her, sleeping under her roof, has recharged my soul.

Apologies that I'm not up to speed with the back story, but this had me gulping I would have cried too. I'm a sucker for all that stuff *sniffs

Had to re-read 'up to 20' and remembered you do fahrenheit over there. Brrrrs

 

[IrezumiKiss]

(This was before the storm)

https://i.imgur.com/UkwSB8U.jpg?1

Your mom's crib is uber pretty.

The color actually makes the surrounding winter outside look like fun to be in instead of, "jyeeezuz khryst, let's get inside, quick!"

 

[Bookishleigh]

I had to ask Adrina what happened to you since I hadn't seen you around (and I always forget about the lounge).

So glad you are home and I'm totally jealous of that house! I could OD on pink (the color, not the litster - she might not appreciate that).

 

[jezzilee]

I probably don't have a future as a vacation planner.

It has finally quieted down. All day yesterday and all through the night the wind sounded like freight trains rumbling past the house. I have no idea how much snow we've gotten, because there is no way to tell how much is new, and how much is the snow from last week's storm being blown around in the 50 mph winds. Bangor is reporting 18 inches at the airport, so we are certainly in that range.

We even had thundersnow yesterday afternoon.

At least the storm brought some warmer air with it, pushing the temperature up into the twenties. It was -16 when we arrived on Sunday. As the storm moves out, we are headed right back down to subzero temps.

But we are safe and we are warm and we are having a wonderful time, despite the weather. We braved the cold to explore the coast a little, and Dwight got to try some of the local cuisine. I expect lobster mac and cheese to start showing up on his menus.

We had dinner with my brother's family on Monday. When they came in the door, he took me in his arms and hugged me and I just broke down and bawled. My niece looked at my mother and asked "Grandma, why is that lady crying?"

I met with him the next night, while my Mom and Dwight went to see Star Wars. It went well. We will be in each other's lives from now on.

My Mom is my Mom. She welcomed us with love. Just sitting and talking with her, eating a meal with her, sleeping under her roof, has recharged my soul.

She's still sleeping, as is Dwight. They will be up soon, so I am going to go prep to make everybody french toast. We will spend a good part of the day today digging out, and head home tomorrow. But we will be back.

(This was before the storm)

Family is so important, I am happy you have reconnected with yours!

 

[MelissaBaby]

I'm glad you reappeared, but when I looked Maine up I just thought why the fuck did you not go to Montreal

Because the point of the trip was to see my family, not to eat poutine. I would love to go to Montreal someday, but probably not in January.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I am glad you are having a good time. It's nice to hear about your brother - it's good to get these things straightened out. There's something about moms that do that - recharging.

Be safe.

Thank you. Sitting face to face it became easier and easier to remember when it was just him and me and Mom, our tight little family always together, and harder to be angry over who should be blamed for breaking those bonds. Eventually, we understood that such bonds can't be broken, only disregarded.

Mom was so happy to have us all together again. Now they are all planning a trip to Michigan this summer.

And Dwight...the man is my hero once again. He insists that he wasn't bored to tears being snowbound with my Mom and me, the two of us chattering away about people he didn't know and events that happened years before we met. He cooked, he cleaned, he shoveled snow. He did get rewarded a couple of times on the days Mom went to work.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Apologies that I'm not up to speed with the back story, but this had me gulping I would have cried too. I'm a sucker for all that stuff *sniffs

Had to re-read 'up to 20' and remembered you do fahrenheit over there. Brrrrs

The short backstory is that I got in a lot of trouble and, at the lowest point of my life, he told me he wanted nothing to do with me. I can't say he didn't have a point, but I have always resented not having my big brother be there for me when I needed all the support I could get. So, this reunion was something we both needed, and was long overdue.

The long story, should you be interested, is in My Fall and Rise.

I try not to miss an opportunity to put in a plug.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Your mom's crib is uber pretty.

The color actually makes the surrounding winter outside look like fun to be in instead of, "jyeeezuz khryst, let's get inside, quick!"

I look at that picture and I remember all the times when I was a teenager that I snuck out the front upstairs window, crawled across the roof and climbed down the tree.

One more reason it's a miracle I'm still alive.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I had to ask Adrina what happened to you since I hadn't seen you around (and I always forget about the lounge).

So glad you are home and I'm totally jealous of that house! I could OD on pink (the color, not the litster - she might not appreciate that).

I try to put my more personal posts in the Lounge, but a little bird told me the latest Lanceling came crawling around anyway. I'm glad to see pest control was on the job.

My stepfather painted the house pink for my Mom. Seeing it now intensifies my regret that I never really got to know him.

By the way, she started dating after I moved, and has a couple of guys on the line. She said she has trouble choosing between them because she doesn't know which one would last longest if she married him. It takes a hell of a women, if you ask me, to make jokes about being twice widowed.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Family is so important, I am happy you have reconnected with yours!

Thank you, Jezzi. It really was important, and I appreciate your kind words.

 

[Saint Peter]

Shoveled the snow?

What a butt kisser!

 

[adrina]

Thank you. Sitting face to face it became easier and easier to remember when it was just him and me and Mom, our tight little family always together, and harder to be angry over who should be blamed for breaking those bonds. Eventually, we understood that such bonds can't be broken, only disregarded.

Mom was so happy to have us all together again. Now they are all planning a trip to Michigan this summer.

And Dwight...the man is my hero once again. He insists that he wasn't bored to tears being snowbound with my Mom and me, the two of us chattering away about people he didn't know and events that happened years before we met. He cooked, he cleaned, he shoveled snow. He did get rewarded a couple of times on the days Mom went to work.

Scorekeeping is only useful in sports. In relationships and family, it is toxic. The end result is what counts and it is truly a better late than never moment.

He's a keeper.