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Finding the right partner

LostBabygirl3489

LostBabygirl3489

Literotica Guru
Joined
Sep 24, 2015
Posts
1,943
So two months ago I went on a date with this really cute guy...he was very sweet and lovely. I hadn't been with anyone since last year in June when I got separated from my ex-husband. The next day we hung out again and hooked up...I enjoyed it but I felt like something was missing...I kept wishing he could talk dirty to me and be a little more rough with me, pulling my hair and smacking me a little...calling me his little whore. I guess it just proved to me that I really crave someone to take control and use me a little. My problem is that I am aware of a lot of guys out there that call themselves dominant but they just love to abuse women and ignore their safe words and limits. :( I've read so many disturbing stories. I'm not saying all dominant men are like this...I've met many who are respectful and sweet and would never do that. It just makes me weary. Finding the right partner is hard...whether it be for casual sex or something more long term.
 
You are wise to be wary and concerned. An experienced dom takes the time to learn about his kitten, learns her soft and hard limits and goes from there. It's more than being spanked and having your hair pulled is it not? Much more.
 
RoostersCrow said:
You are wise to be wary and concerned. An experienced dom takes the time to learn about his kitten, learns her soft and hard limits and goes from there. It's more than being spanked and having your hair pulled is it not? Much more.
Click to expand...

Thank you :) Yes I agree completely. I also do think it's nice when he gets to know me a little...learn about me, not just my sexuality/fetishes. In return I love learning about him too...it makes the sex much more hot to me.
 
I think the emotional connection has to come before anything else. With that comes freedom
 
A Dom/sub relationship is much more than just sex, it takes time with each other to know how each reacts to each other to become one as such. Take your time you will find the Dom that is right for you kitten
 
Have you told this guy that that's what you need? Trust me, most guys are happy (enthusiastic even) to oblige.
 
Take time and date your partners. Get to know them well before engaging in risky behavior. There are plenty of abusers in the vanilla world too.
 
LostBabygirl3489 said:
So two months ago I went on a date with this really cute guy...he was very sweet and lovely. I hadn't been with anyone since last year in June when I got separated from my ex-husband. The next day we hung out again and hooked up...I enjoyed it but I felt like something was missing...I kept wishing he could talk dirty to me and be a little more rough with me, pulling my hair and smacking me a little...calling me his little whore. I guess it just proved to me that I really crave someone to take control and use me a little. My problem is that I am aware of a lot of guys out there that call themselves dominant but they just love to abuse women and ignore their safe words and limits. :( I've read so many disturbing stories. I'm not saying all dominant men are like this...I've met many who are respectful and sweet and would never do that. It just makes me weary. Finding the right partner is hard...whether it be for casual sex or something more long term.
Click to expand...

You are right to be concerned.

Some men simply do not are about the suffering of women and what begins as a game could turn violent in the extreme.

I have dedicated a good part of my life removing such men from the Gene Pool.

It's one thing to pretend it's real...and quite another making it real.

I am about as real as a person can get.

Predominant
 
OP: during the sexual encounter you described, did you talk to your partner about your desires? it can be an awkward subject to broach, but if you approach it properly it doesn't have to ruin the mood even if he declines. if he really isn't into it you should respect that, but most guys that are worth a shit won't call their partner a whore on their second date. at least not without asking permission beforehand.

be courteous and upfront about your needs and you will probably have a really good time!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Predominant said:
You are right to be concerned.

Some men simply do not are about the suffering of women and what begins as a game could turn violent in the extreme.

I have dedicated a good part of my life removing such men from the Gene Pool.

It's one thing to pretend it's real...and quite another making it real.

I am about as real as a person can get.

Predominant
Click to expand...

You're a murderer?
 
Understandable

A lot of people can lackluster
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Touch_Me_Daddy said:
You should be.

I have meet some bad apples.

So I am very carful. I need to be I'm barely 5'1 and 110 pounds.
Click to expand...
And I know I just feel in love with you from that description wish I was a Daddy type you sound like an amazing little.

Good luck and please tell me you'll share a pic of the blue afro puffs! :)
 
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