Stages of Lit: M seeking F for conversation

[Likeandthey]

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To furnish with shutters; a bookend.

 

[Chasingdreams]

You sound perfect. If only you were older. Friendly MO bumps to you nd best of luck in your search.

 

[RudyGardet]

Spot on

Sorry I'm not the person you are looking for (male for one thing) but I had to respond to your pitch perfect post. I find myself dragging myself out of stage two with some difficulty, but it's time. Fortunately I've made some great connections and can now stop obsessively checking my PMs and posts to see if anyone is responding. Today I managed to check only a dozen or so times, quite an improvement!

 

[Likeandthey]

Still seeking.

 

[spunkyE]

I think there is a fourth stage. You still come on but are tired of a lot of the subjects and can't find what you want. Could be a combination that you don't know what you want or just can't find it and you know deep down that you aren't going to find it on lit so your visits decrease but sometimes boredom drives you onto the site.

s.e.

 

[quietlylooking]

I think there is a fourth stage. You still come on but are tired of a lot of the subjects and can't find what you want. Could be a combination that you don't know what you want or just can't find it and you know deep down that you aren't going to find it on lit so your visits decrease but sometimes boredom drives you onto the site.

s.e.

The stages could bifurcate after stage three. An alternate stage four could be this: you have found someone (or several) with whom you mesh well, but for various reasons, the relationship cannot progress. You enjoy your limited interactions with that person(s), but still... crave more. And you've been spoiled.

 

[Likeandthey]

Hello, hello.

 

[Coranhorn]

The stages could bifurcate after stage three. An alternate stage four could be this: you have found someone (or several) with whom you mesh well, but for various reasons, the relationship cannot progress. You enjoy your limited interactions with that person(s), but still... crave more. And you've been spoiled.

I would absolutely agree with this. It's not just the forums. Chat is the same way. That's how I started was the chat rooms until recently. Just started the forums.

 

[Chasingdreams]

The stages could bifurcate after stage three. An alternate stage four could be this: you have found someone (or several) with whom you mesh well, but for various reasons, the relationship cannot progress. You enjoy your limited interactions with that person(s), but still... crave more. And you've been spoiled.

I’m sure there could be many versions to stage 4, and they are all relevant. Bumping again just because the OP’s initial message was so well thought out and beautifully executed.

 

[Likeandthey]

Hope everyone is about to have a great weekend.

 

[Likeandthey]

Bump.

 

[Jewdles]

What a brilliantly worded post! I think I am at one of those stage 4 options.

Over new starts, getting older so don't feel whoop dee dee on a daily basis, or sometimes even on a weekly basis lol.

The starts can be exciting, but ater a few, they grow old and tiresome. Then after making a pig of yourself you get reflux.

I used to know what I was looking for........ now my ad would probably read -
'Old Granny on the exterior, still young on the inside, wants a matching Grandad who can activate at times, and even if he can only get it up in his mind works for me He is a loving Dom, but is looking for a 'I can't always be bothered' submissive. Oral sex has come to mean talking about it. This all means he must have a darn good sense of humour, because if we didnt laugh we'd cry.'

Hmmmm don't think there'd be too many replies. Looks as if I may have just created the 5th stage you youngies can either fear, or look forward to.

J

 

[Likeandthey]

Hello, all.

 

[BootieKittie]

Lol I love this

 

[Sinpain]

You’re so right.

Great post! So accurate! Like you, I’m in the third stage, but just a few hours ago, I met a woman here, who seems to be stuck in stage one and half. She’s in Australia, (She says it’s snowing, which is weird, but she’s an actual woman, so whatever, she can tell the truth later lol) and I responded to her post, but she has no sympathy for our 24 hour time difference, or that people in NYC have roommates, and that there is currently a huge storm here, which briefly knocked out power.

She thinks I’m playing head games with her, thinks I’m making her “Chase” me down, and is so weary of being hurt, that she pre-emptively asked me not to message her anymore, even though we’ve gotten to the point of briefly hearing each other on skype.

I hope she sees this, understands that I had no power to skype with her, checks the weather conditions online, realizes she over-reacted, and gets in touch with me.

I really liked her voice, and temperament.

 

[AveryElle]

Great post! So accurate! Like you, I’m in the third stage, but just a few hours ago, I met a woman here, who seems to be stuck in stage one and half. She’s in Australia, (She says it’s snowing, which is weird, but she’s an actual woman, so whatever, she can tell the truth later lol) and I responded to her post, but she has no sympathy for our 24 hour time difference, or that people in NYC have roommates, and that there is currently a huge storm here, which briefly knocked out power.

She thinks I’m playing head games with her, thinks I’m making her “Chase” me down, and is so weary of being hurt, that she pre-emptively asked me not to message her anymore, even though we’ve gotten to the point of briefly hearing each other on skype.

I hope she sees this, understands that I had no power to skype with her, checks the weather conditions online, realizes she over-reacted, and gets in touch with me.

I really liked her voice, and temperament.

Or move on... cuz I'm not sure how it's snowing in Australia. Do tell us if you find out!

 

[Sinpain]

Or move on... cuz I'm not sure how it's snowing in Australia. Do tell us if you find out!

I could be wrong. Maybe she said London. It’s snowing there.

My inbox was full, and I deleted some of our convo, so I couldn’t go back to check where she said she’s from. She’s right above my post, so you can ask her. I don’t wanna highjack this dude’s thread anymore than I have.

I have no problem moving on, but it’s REALLY hard to find women here, who are A. Not sneaking around on their bf/gf, because they’re actually single, B. Up to date with internet communication in the year 2018, C. Free of major of emotional issues/baggage, and D. Paranoid af. Oh, and D. Actually hot.

 

[AveryElle]

I could be wrong. Maybe she said London. It’s snowing there.

My inbox was full, and I deleted some of our convo, so I couldn’t go back to check where she said she’s from. She’s right above my post, so you can ask her. I don’t wanna highjack this dude’s thread anymore than I have.

I have no problem moving on, but it’s REALLY hard to find women here, who are A. Not sneaking around on their bf/gf, because they’re actually single, B. Up to date with internet communication in the year 2018, C. Free of major of emotional issues/baggage, and D. Paranoid af. Oh, and D. Actually hot.

because those women are having fun in real life. same as the male version of what you're looking for.

And she's British. Different accent, mate.

 

[Sinpain]

“because those women are having fun in real life. same as the male version of what you're looking for.”

Well, I have lots of fun in real life, but not with kinksters girls. They are really hard to find in real life, unless it comes up by chance, in conversation.

It really feels like the smaller states/towns have people on lit who are actually willing meet up, or at least be real, and not play games.

In NYC, it seems people are way too busy with their careers (I don’t blame them, because it’s fucking expensive here) to want to deal with the sometimes long process of meeting people here, as opposed to the 20 mins. or less it takes to meet people from Tinder/OKC or Grindr, if you’re homosexual.

Even the NYC kinkster thread here is lame. No one posts.

All the women from lit that I’ve met I real life have either visited me from other states or other countries. It’s sad.

“And she's British. Different accent, mate.”

When we spoke on skype, her accent didn’t sound fully British, mate. Have you heard her sound clip?

Her accent definitely sounds influenced by something else. She sounds great though. I wonder if she looks as great as she sounds?

 

[AveryElle]

There’s a lot to unpack there. A lot.

Girls in real life may be reserved because they’re trying to be marriage material.

And when you are in a page with people all over the world, the problem is that they’re from all over the world.

Have you tried just going for it with a partner? And not asking?
Or just stating your proclivities, whatever those are?

 

[Sinpain]

There’s a lot to unpack there. A lot.

Girls in real life may be reserved because they’re trying to be marriage material.

I think it’s because of the reasons I stated before. It’s expensive here. Girls on Tinder and men on Grindr aren’t loookimg to get married.

And when you are in a page with people all over the world, the problem is that they’re from all over the world.

“Have you tried just going for it with a partner? And not asking?”

Where do you live? This is the year 2018, where enthusiastic consent is king.

I’m single, and have never been married. I have no problem meeting women in real life. Just not kinky women.

‘Going for it” doesn’t fly right now, unless you wanna lose your job, or get arrested, or labeled an abuser of some kind.

I would only go for it with a girl whom I already know is a sub, and even then, she’d have had to have told me beforehand that she’d be cool with being taken.

“Or just stating your proclivities, whatever those are?”

I do, but most women here are just not open to talking about that stuff at a bar, when you’ve first met them, and although they may be hot, and into me, they really are too vanilla for me.

 

[AveryElle]

I live in a major US City. Where I moved from another major city. Full of buttoned up people. We are everywhere.
I think someone saying ‘I have sub tendencies’ is more difficult than ‘I have Dom tendencies’.

I understand enthusiastic consent. But within the confines of a relationship a light spank or wordplay for introduction, or delayed gratification. Those aren’t crazy. And I’m a feminist

 

[AveryElle]

I also think if someone came up to me in a bar and said some of thing in my head outloud, I’d be a puddle. Maybe it’s the bars!

 

[Sinpain]

But... this thread isn’t about the confines of a relationship.

I live in a major US City. Where I moved from another major city. Full of buttoned up people. We are everywhere.
I think someone saying ‘I have sub tendencies’ is more difficult than ‘I have Dom tendencies’.

I understand enthusiastic consent. But within the confines of a relationship a light spank or wordplay for introduction, or delayed gratification. Those aren’t crazy. And I’m a feminist

I totally agree. I’ve seen it in action. It’s actually quite sexy when a woman i’ve Just met opens up, and expresses (Admits) that’s she’s a sub, or just even a kinkster.

I agree with what you say about a relationship, but this thread isn’t about relationships, is it? It’s about what one goes through on this site, as one meets strangers.. trying to get something going with them.

 

[Sinpain]

You and who else?

I also think if someone came up to me in a bar and said some of thing in my head outloud, I’d be a puddle. Maybe it’s the bars!

It would be a perfect world if every woman thought the way you think, and if every man knew this, and acted accordingly.

Unfortunately, it’s not a perfect world, hence the personals section of this site.