sweetsouthernsa
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2014
- Posts
- 181
It's been exactly one month today and almost two weeks since I've cried. I miss him terribly and I want to call or text him so bad I can't stand it but I haven't and I won't. I got rid of the tshirts, stuffed animals and most of the pictures, and I burned the journal I'd been keeping about us.
I don't know why, after almost three years he suddenly decided he didn't want me anymore. He said he cared about me and he always seemed concerned if he didn't hear from me because of a migraine.
Did I love him? YES!! Did I tell him and show him? Yes.
I keep telling myself that it wasn't my fault but I've never been in this situation before. If he were to drive up right now and explain to me why he did it, I'd listen to him. If he were to ask me if we could work things out, as hard as it'd be I'd have to tell him no. He'd ask why, so I'd say.....
I want more. I want to be a priority, not a second, third or fourth choice.
You see, his work comes first, ALWAYS. Then his friends, his personal interests, then me. It didn't start out that way but over the last year, I've been on the back burner, so to speak.
He knew I wasn't looking for just a "good time" when we met and I don't know what changed. In the long run, HE'S the one that's missing out. I know I'm not perfect, nobody is but at the end of the day, I know that what I did for him, things I said to him, ways I showed him how much I cared were all done honestly and from my heart.
With the holidays coming up, it's not gonna be easy for me and I know I'll have days that my memories will overtake me, but I'm gonna try my best to stay positive.
I don't know why, after almost three years he suddenly decided he didn't want me anymore. He said he cared about me and he always seemed concerned if he didn't hear from me because of a migraine.
Did I love him? YES!! Did I tell him and show him? Yes.
I keep telling myself that it wasn't my fault but I've never been in this situation before. If he were to drive up right now and explain to me why he did it, I'd listen to him. If he were to ask me if we could work things out, as hard as it'd be I'd have to tell him no. He'd ask why, so I'd say.....
I want more. I want to be a priority, not a second, third or fourth choice.
You see, his work comes first, ALWAYS. Then his friends, his personal interests, then me. It didn't start out that way but over the last year, I've been on the back burner, so to speak.
He knew I wasn't looking for just a "good time" when we met and I don't know what changed. In the long run, HE'S the one that's missing out. I know I'm not perfect, nobody is but at the end of the day, I know that what I did for him, things I said to him, ways I showed him how much I cared were all done honestly and from my heart.
With the holidays coming up, it's not gonna be easy for me and I know I'll have days that my memories will overtake me, but I'm gonna try my best to stay positive.