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sweetsouthernsa

sweetsouthernsa

Really Experienced
Joined
Apr 10, 2014
Posts
181
It's been exactly one month today and almost two weeks since I've cried. I miss him terribly and I want to call or text him so bad I can't stand it but I haven't and I won't. I got rid of the tshirts, stuffed animals and most of the pictures, and I burned the journal I'd been keeping about us.
I don't know why, after almost three years he suddenly decided he didn't want me anymore. He said he cared about me and he always seemed concerned if he didn't hear from me because of a migraine.
Did I love him? YES!! Did I tell him and show him? Yes.
I keep telling myself that it wasn't my fault but I've never been in this situation before. If he were to drive up right now and explain to me why he did it, I'd listen to him. If he were to ask me if we could work things out, as hard as it'd be I'd have to tell him no. He'd ask why, so I'd say.....
I want more. I want to be a priority, not a second, third or fourth choice.
You see, his work comes first, ALWAYS. Then his friends, his personal interests, then me. It didn't start out that way but over the last year, I've been on the back burner, so to speak.
He knew I wasn't looking for just a "good time" when we met and I don't know what changed. In the long run, HE'S the one that's missing out. I know I'm not perfect, nobody is but at the end of the day, I know that what I did for him, things I said to him, ways I showed him how much I cared were all done honestly and from my heart.
With the holidays coming up, it's not gonna be easy for me and I know I'll have days that my memories will overtake me, but I'm gonna try my best to stay positive.
 
Break ups are tough. It will take awhile to process everything. It sounds like you are heading in the right direction. Be kind to yourself this holiday season. :rose:
 
sweetsouthernsa said:
It's been exactly one month today and almost two weeks since I've cried. I miss him terribly and I want to call or text him so bad I can't stand it but I haven't and I won't. I got rid of the tshirts, stuffed animals and most of the pictures, and I burned the journal I'd been keeping about us.
I don't know why, after almost three years he suddenly decided he didn't want me anymore. He said he cared about me and he always seemed concerned if he didn't hear from me because of a migraine.
Did I love him? YES!! Did I tell him and show him? Yes.
I keep telling myself that it wasn't my fault but I've never been in this situation before. If he were to drive up right now and explain to me why he did it, I'd listen to him. If he were to ask me if we could work things out, as hard as it'd be I'd have to tell him no. He'd ask why, so I'd say.....
I want more. I want to be a priority, not a second, third or fourth choice.
You see, his work comes first, ALWAYS. Then his friends, his personal interests, then me. It didn't start out that way but over the last year, I've been on the back burner, so to speak.
He knew I wasn't looking for just a "good time" when we met and I don't know what changed. In the long run, HE'S the one that's missing out. I know I'm not perfect, nobody is but at the end of the day, I know that what I did for him, things I said to him, ways I showed him how much I cared were all done honestly and from my heart.
With the holidays coming up, it's not gonna be easy for me and I know I'll have days that my memories will overtake me, but I'm gonna try my best to stay positive.
Click to expand...

Sounds like you deserve to be treated MUCH better than you were. It's a hard road you're on right now, but.... stay strong, learn from your experience, and you'll be on to much better things in no time :)
 
sweetsouthernsa said:
It's been exactly one month today and almost two weeks since I've cried. I miss him terribly and I want to call or text him so bad I can't stand it but I haven't and I won't. I got rid of the tshirts, stuffed animals and most of the pictures, and I burned the journal I'd been keeping about us.
I don't know why, after almost three years he suddenly decided he didn't want me anymore. He said he cared about me and he always seemed concerned if he didn't hear from me because of a migraine.
Did I love him? YES!! Did I tell him and show him? Yes.
I keep telling myself that it wasn't my fault but I've never been in this situation before. If he were to drive up right now and explain to me why he did it, I'd listen to him. If he were to ask me if we could work things out, as hard as it'd be I'd have to tell him no. He'd ask why, so I'd say.....
I want more. I want to be a priority, not a second, third or fourth choice.
You see, his work comes first, ALWAYS. Then his friends, his personal interests, then me. It didn't start out that way but over the last year, I've been on the back burner, so to speak.
He knew I wasn't looking for just a "good time" when we met and I don't know what changed. In the long run, HE'S the one that's missing out. I know I'm not perfect, nobody is but at the end of the day, I know that what I did for him, things I said to him, ways I showed him how much I cared were all done honestly and from my heart.
With the holidays coming up, it's not gonna be easy for me and I know I'll have days that my memories will overtake me, but I'm gonna try my best to stay positive.
Click to expand...

You looking for a rebound fuck?
 
I would have saved those t-shirts and stuffed animals as disposable toilet cleaning rags. Getting some utility out of them, especially something like a stuffed animal, before discarding it would have made me feel awesome!
 
Good luck to ya. Hope you feel better soon
If you want, I'll find him and beat the shit out of him for ya.
 
I haven’t gotten a stuffed animal since I was like...18.
 
Pacifica112 said:
Sounds like you deserve to be treated MUCH better than you were. It's a hard road you're on right now, but.... stay strong, learn from your experience, and you'll be on to much better things in no time :)
Click to expand...

You're right & yes I DO deserve better...hard to find that nowadays though
 
Libsam said:
I would have saved those t-shirts and stuffed animals as disposable toilet cleaning rags. Getting some utility out of them, especially something like a stuffed animal, before discarding it would have made me feel awesome!
Click to expand...

I thought about cutting up the tshirts for cleaning rags but I didn't want that reminder
 
AngusBridie said:
Good luck to ya. Hope you feel better soon
If you want, I'll find him and beat the shit out of him for ya.
Click to expand...

Thanks. I'll get thru it just like I did when I was separated & then divorced. As far as beating the shit outta him, you'd have to become part of a "Redneck Posse"...my brother-in-law, some cousins & a few of their friends have been plotting for the last week or so.
 
Aquagal said:
I haven’t gotten a stuffed animal since I was like...18.
Click to expand...

He got me the first one...a stuffed frog for Valentines Day & a koala bear when we went to Texas last year. He'd also gotten both my girls a stuffed animal in Texas. My youngest (16) still has hers & she told me she was gonna text him...just to tell him how much she appreciated being able to talk to him when she needed to but the way he did me was shitty & cowardly. My oldest (19) don't live at home anymore but when she found out...OMG, she was read to call up some of her friends & go "handle" it. I told her no, don't stoop that low. Karma's a bitch.
 
I got as far as...

You kept a journal on "us"!? People do that???
 
dolf said:
I got as far as...

You kept a journal on "us"!? People do that???
Click to expand...

Yes I did. I wrote things about how I felt about him. After my divorce I saw a counselor who told me to start keeping a journal. I told her I hadn't kept any kind of a diary since I was a teenager, but she told me to think of it as writing down a few sentences every night about my day, that way I wasn't holding everything in. It helped me a lot then, so I kept doing it. I don't write in it daily anymore unless I have a bad day.
 
dolf said:
LOL! I miss her. She was even more autistic than me.
Click to expand...

I'm still here every now and then.... autistic though? Hmmm... first time anyone has ever said that about me as far as I know.
 
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