Engaged/Married - Getting Side Action

[live4thebj]

Engaged/Married - Getting Side Action says it all.

I have had a very fun sexual time in my life and found someone I want to be with. But it's been months now and my needs are not being met. I get by with when she wants to and other times alone time with my toys (Aneros, Fleshlight, etc.).

But today I decided I am going to create a profile on a dating website I used to use before I met her for strictly hooking up. Keeping it very discrete: no names; no numbers; email only; and no cell phones in the room. Strictly oral: BJ and eating. Once we both had our fix go our separate ways and if we like how it went plan for another visit about a month later.

Who else has done this? How did it go for you? Man or woman love to hear it.

 

[twister947]

Have you lost your mind?

 

[live4thebj]

Have you lost your mind?

Probably.

 

[Snugbug]

That's a good way to hurt your wife if she finds out

 

[newhere2learn]

I wish I had your balls/stupidly.

Wife enforced celibacy circa 3 years ago. Even wants me to "do it when I'm out the house".

Some skin to skin contact would be amazing.

 

[FGB]

Oh, Hell.

Where to start.

Been there more or less done that.

It is NOT for me. To my surprise as well as exasperation it pissed me off a considerable amount.

Not so much the fact that I did it as that I had to. I met a woman who flirted with me almost daily. She was ten years younger than me, had a kid I finally gave in and flirted back.

I let her know I was serious and she inquired wasn't I married? I said yes and I'm damned tired of doing without and you are sexy as hell...want to get it on?

She thought about it for a couple of days and then said yes.

Kinky rascal she was. Had a fairly well stocked toy box. First time I had ever used a spreader bar and a flogger.

However.

As good as it was it still wasn't satisfying. We got together...ten or twelve times.

I decided to just do without and some long years later divorced.

My advice is this... If you can't work something out somehow split up and find someone who you care about as much as she does you and Y'all take care of each other.

Word.

 

[SamLaraCroft]

Oh, Hell.

Where to start.

Been there more or less done that.

It is NOT for me. To my surprise as well as exasperation it pissed me off a considerable amount.

Not so much the fact that I did it as that I had to. I met a woman who flirted with me almost daily. She was ten years younger than me, had a kid I finally gave in and flirted back.

I let her know I was serious and she inquired wasn't I married? I said yes and I'm damned tired of doing without and you are sexy as hell...want to get it on?

She thought about it for a couple of days and then said yes.

Kinky rascal she was. Had a fairly well stocked toy box. First time I had ever used a spreader bar and a flogger.

However.

As good as it was it still wasn't satisfying. We got together...ten or twelve times.

I decided to just do without and some long years later divorced.

My advice is this... If you can't work something out somehow split up and find someone who you care about as much as she does you and Y'all take care of each other.

Word.

Hopefully your advice can help. Live4thebj, I find this incredibly selfish and not thinking about anyone else just to get blow jobs xx

 

[live4thebj]

I thought about what everyone has to say and you are all right. I will no longer pursue this. I tried deleting the dating profile but it came back saying I have to wait a full 24hrs before I do. So that will be this afternoon.

 

[SamLaraCroft]

I thought about what everyone has to say and you are all right. I will no longer pursue this. I tried deleting the dating profile but it came back saying I have to wait a full 24hrs before I do. So that will be this afternoon.

Good for you, but are you sure you can have a marriage without blow jobs?

 

[live4thebj]

Good for you, but are you sure you can have a marriage without blow jobs?

I was getting amazing BJ's for about 30 years. My fiance when in the right mood can hold her own. Just hasn't had one like she used to do for awhile now. I have to say though, the Fleshlight feels like one but I do prefer a real person. Too bad I am not gay, I have had my share of offers.

 

[SamLaraCroft]

I was getting amazing BJ's for about 30 years. My fiance when in the right mood can hold her own. Just hasn't had one like she used to do for awhile now. I have to say though, the Fleshlight feels like one but I do prefer a real person. Too bad I am not gay, I have had my share of offers.

30 year engagement lol, perhaps that's why the blowjobs stopped lol, only joking usually in these circumstances it's mutual xx

 

[live4thebj]

30 year engagement lol, perhaps that's why the blowjobs stopped lol, only joking usually in these circumstances it's mutual xx

I wasn't clear. I was getting amazing BJ's for the past 30-years (before my existing fiance).

 

[vibes]

... and then they say Lit is a useless community!

Good sense!

 

[AlmostLike]

I wasn't clear. I was getting amazing BJ's for the past 30-years (before my existing fiance).

Your first BJ was when many are in 6 or 7th grade?

 

[twister947]

Your first BJ was when many are in 6 or 7th grade?

My hero!

 

[XirixSeven]

Engaged/Married - Getting Side Action says it all.

I have had a very fun sexual time in my life and found someone I want to be with. But it's been months now and my needs are not being met. I get by with when she wants to and other times alone time with my toys (Aneros, Fleshlight, etc.).

But today I decided I am going to create a profile on a dating website I used to use before I met her for strictly hooking up. Keeping it very discrete: no names; no numbers; email only; and no cell phones in the room. Strictly oral: BJ and eating. Once we both had our fix go our separate ways and if we like how it went plan for another visit about a month later.

Who else has done this? How did it go for you? Man or woman love to hear it.

Tell the person you're in your relationship with that you want to explore some of your and her fetishes. If she tells you she's disinterested and has become generally sexless, tell her that will lead to bad things.

 

[live4thebj]

Your first BJ was when many are in 6 or 7th grade?

Okay Okay...more than 20 and less than 30 years. In fact I think I was 19 when I got head for the first time. 21 when I had my first 3 way.

 

[live4thebj]

Tell the person you're in your relationship with that you want to explore some of your and her fetishes. If she tells you she's disinterested and has become generally sexless, tell her that will lead to bad things.

And her reply will be "You know where the door is".

 

[erinbrew]

Engaged/Married - Getting Side Action says it all.

I have had a very fun sexual time in my life and found someone I want to be with. But it's been months now and my needs are not being met. I get by with when she wants to and other times alone time with my toys (Aneros, Fleshlight, etc.).

But today I decided I am going to create a profile on a dating website I used to use before I met her for strictly hooking up. Keeping it very discrete: no names; no numbers; email only; and no cell phones in the room. Strictly oral: BJ and eating. Once we both had our fix go our separate ways and if we like how it went plan for another visit about a month later.

Who else has done this? How did it go for you? Man or woman love to hear it.

I can't speak for others, nor do I wish to judge.
But.
My wife knows I spend time here, and we have a potentially open door policy on other partners, if it comes up.
We have this deal for one reason and one reason only: we talked about it.
She's happy with me, I'm happy with her. Twenty years married in one month, and we're looking forward to twenty (plus) more.
If this isn't a safe subject for any given couple, then either put it in a box and soldier on, or, do bring it up and live with the consequences.
The deal with my wife comes down to this: no secrets. Adultery = secrets, and is therefore unacceptable.
On the other hand, sex with others = not only admit it when/if it happens, champion it. Live it out loud. It cannot and must not remain a secret, at least not within the marriage.
My two cents.

 

[live4thebj]

POF account deleted.

 

[Nezhul]

I'm ok with polygamy when it's known by both partners.

But cheating behind your wife's back is unforgivable.

 

[Doug_Hinson]

Engaged/Married - Getting Side Action says it all.

I have had a very fun sexual time in my life and found someone I want to be with. But it's been months now and my needs are not being met. I get by with when she wants to and other times alone time with my toys (Aneros, Fleshlight, etc.).

But today I decided I am going to create a profile on a dating website I used to use before I met her for strictly hooking up. Keeping it very discrete: no names; no numbers; email only; and no cell phones in the room. Strictly oral: BJ and eating. Once we both had our fix go our separate ways and if we like how it went plan for another visit about a month later.

Who else has done this? How did it go for you? Man or woman love to hear it.

If your wife isn't taking care of you, then why not? What does your wife expect your to do, set there like a dummy with a hard on? If you weren't taking care of her needs, wouldn't you expect her to find someone else?

Marriage isn't a one-way street. Both spouses have a responsibility to the other's happiness. If not, what's the point of being married?

The two main reasons for divorce is arguments over money and one spouse being sexually frustrated by the other. If your wife is actually leaving you sexually unfulfilled, then she needs to start taking her share of responsibility in your marriage.

I'm sure women, (and some men), on Lit think a man should just sit there like a dummy with a hard-on until she wants sex, just because he was dumb enough to say I Do, but life don't work that way. Marriage is a two way street.

 

[KimGordon67]

I'm ok with polygamy when it's known by both partners.

But cheating behind your wife's back is unforgivable.

It's nice that you edited that so you didn't come across as quite such a judgemental arse.

I think, ideally, everyone would be open about everything. But the real world often is quite that simply.
Personally, though, I try to avoid phrasing stuff as 'needs' ... it's a term that's often used to excuse bad behaviour.

 

[FGB]

Yeah.

I had a talk with mine about five year in and she said that it was MY problem.

It was and I fixed that and several other non curable short comings with a Divorce twenty years later.

 

[Nezhul]

It's nice that you edited that so you didn't come across as quite such a judgemental arse..

It's nice that you have such a sore spot about me that you keep finding ways to show how much better of a person you are than me.

Makes me wonder how little acknowledgement you get in your real life that you need to try so hard on the web. Or is it simply that your ass is still burning after... what was that, about half a year by now?