converting to being an american. (God forbid)

[hobbit.]

I have been contaminated by my car. I now find i dont need a left foot and find corners somewhat a frightening concept. The air con is freezing though. I also like to 'bump' into non car drivers and have a new relationship with the local diesel supplier. AWESOME!! (fuck the enviroment!! paris sucks!! )

As part of considering my options i have been watching american tv, American heroes channel is misnamed, but its advertiing, so hey! what the fuck!!

The Ads are awesome though - I can buy catheters, and medication which could, if misused cause dioreha or death, i can get cheap loans and underwater duct tape!!! way to fucking go!!!
What inspires me most though is California charcoal - it wipes blackheads out!!

https://www.californiacharcoal.com

what inspired you to become american?

 

[water505]

What inspired you to become a drunken fool?

 

[adrina]

I was born that way.

Speaking of charcoal, have you seen the new activated charcoal toothpaste stain remover? Weird weird weird.

 

[hobbit.]

What inspired you to become a drunken fool?

probably the same stimuli that caused you to be a total dickhead.

 

[hobbit.]

I was born that way.

Speaking of charcoal, have you seen the new activated charcoal toothpaste stain remover? Weird weird weird.

'paste is for wimps. i prefer a karcher.

 

[lickitandstickit]

I have been contaminated by my car. I now find i dont need a left foot and find corners somewhat a frightening concept. The air con is freezing though. I also like to 'bump' into non car drivers and have a new relationship with the local diesel supplier. AWESOME!! (fuck the enviroment!! paris sucks!! )

As part of considering my options i have been watching american tv, American heroes channel is misnamed, but its advertiing, so hey! what the fuck!!

The Ads are awesome though - I can buy catheters, and medication which could, if misused cause dioreha or death, i can get cheap loans and underwater duct tape!!! way to fucking go!!!
What inspires me most though is California charcoal - it wipes blackheads out!!

https://www.californiacharcoal.com

what inspired you to become american?

Parents moved here from Scotland... Get a car that has manual transmission. Your left foot will be useful again..

Helpful FYI: you can find HP sauce at Walmart..

 

[phrodeau]

Welcome back to Imperial measurements, where your dick length is a single-digit number.

 

[butters]

the ads are something else, alright. so many are sooooo shouty! and the ones for guns still shock me. catheter ads and other med ones are omnipresent. and with the steep ditches along most roadsides around here have me wincing from the passenger seat.

 

[Freudian_Slit]

Welcome back to Imperial measurements, where your dick length is a single-digit number.

Speak for yourself.

 

[butters]

oi, hobbit, wothca doin' americanisin'?

 

[adrina]

'paste is for wimps. i prefer a karcher.

That doesn't sound good for you gums.

the ads are something else, alright. so many are sooooo shouty! and the ones for guns still shock me. catheter ads and other med ones are omnipresent. and with the steep ditches along most roadsides around here have me wincing from the passenger seat.

Hell I've been raised with them and I find them over the top.

 

[Sean]

I don't know you any more, man. WTF happened to you? Electroshock treatment? Lobotomy?

 

[thør]

what inspired you to become american?

The territory of my birth was turned into a state in the US of A in 1959. Totally out of my control.

 

[Hypoxia]

the ads are something else, alright. so many are sooooo shouty! and the ones for guns still shock me. catheter ads and other med ones are omnipresent. and with the steep ditches along most roadsides around here have me wincing from the passenger seat.

In the Inland Empire east of Los Angeles, many eucalyptus-lined gridwork roads have half-meter / 20-inch kerbs which nicely serve to channel torrential rainfall runoff. That they regularly turn into raging rivers was quite exciting in my wasted youth, me and my big inner-tube.

But I digress. Travel behind the ads, the billboards, the hypnotic holographic flickerings twisting targeted brains. In El Paso I drove through a drive-through market supplying booze, weapons (edged and firearms), ammo, other hunting and fishing gear, camo clothes, pr0n, sex toys, pot pipes and paraphernalia, legal but questionable herbal blends, snacks, et fucking cetera, all available without leaving one's vehicle -- and the drive-up windows accommodated very tall vehicles.

Americanizationed: Armed, stoned, horny, and lazy.

 

[Froya]

I can buy catheters, and medication which could, if misused cause dioreha or death

Listen more carefully. Most of them can do that even when used correctly.

 

[lovetoread]

I don't know you any more, man. WTF happened to you? Electroshock treatment? Lobotomy?

hah

you are gonna be one too

 

[neci]

if you lay on your tummy, i'll california charcoal your back.

i bet it would be fun on the ass and balls as well.

 

[Queersetti]

"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." -George Carlin

 

[EternalFantasies]

I have been contaminated by my car. I now find i dont need a left foot and find corners somewhat a frightening concept. The air con is freezing though. I also like to 'bump' into non car drivers and have a new relationship with the local diesel supplier. AWESOME!! (fuck the enviroment!! paris sucks!! )

As part of considering my options i have been watching american tv, American heroes channel is misnamed, but its advertiing, so hey! what the fuck!!

The Ads are awesome though - I can buy catheters, and medication which could, if misused cause dioreha or death, i can get cheap loans and underwater duct tape!!! way to fucking go!!!
What inspires me most though is California charcoal - it wipes blackheads out!!

https://www.californiacharcoal.com

what inspired you to become american?

If it's any consolation, most Americans do not know what being american is.

They inherited the title, claim it, yet, complain when sonny get's daddy's money.

 

[colddiesel]

Helpful FYI: you can find HP sauce at Walmart..

These days HP sauce is made exclusively in The Netherlands by HJ Heinz. Best not to tell Hobbit.

 

[thør]

These days HP sauce is made exclusively in The Netherlands by HJ Heinz. Best not to tell Hobbit.

Teresa's company?

 

[water505]

probably the same stimuli that caused you to be a total dickhead.

How long have you suffered like this?

 

[hobbit.]

I never knew i needed a book about Mesothelioma. that is just weird.

 

[lickitandstickit]

These days HP sauce is made exclusively in The Netherlands by HJ Heinz. Best not to tell Hobbit.

I didn't know that, interesting

 

[oggbashan]

These days HP sauce is made exclusively in The Netherlands by HJ Heinz. Best not to tell Hobbit.

Marmite was invented by a German.

Bovril is named after a Bulwer-Lytton novel:

The first part of the product's name comes from Latin bos, meaning "ox". Johnston took the -vril suffix from Edward Bulwer-Lytton's then-popular novel, The Coming Race (1870), whose plot revolves around a superior race of people, the Vril-ya, who derive their powers from an electromagnetic substance named "Vril". Therefore, Bovril indicates great strength obtained from an ox.

Bulwer-Lytton is famous for his opening line "It was a dark and stormy night..." just right for a mug of Bovril...