what happened to good old phone/voice chat sex?

[amigayorbi]

it's been a while since i heard a woman in absolute pleasure over the phone/voice chat!

is it out of vogue now?

i miss it so bad sometimes.

let's see if i find my unicorn.

cheers!

GK

 

[HumasWanderingWeiner]

They all have laryngitis at the moment. They will be giving you a shout the minute it clears up.

 

[The_Id]

Good Question!

amigayorbi: I have been wondering the same thing lately. For me, the changes broaden from just voice chat to include jumping on cam. About 10-15 years ago, I can remember people (both men and women) being almost-eager to share themselves on cam w/voice. I was told by many that it was a real rush to show off (I'm of the belief that most of us have at least a mild exhibitionist side that can be accessed fairly easily when the means of doing so seem anonymous/safe enough). I can remember having a great session with a female buddy where she teased me senseless by manipulating her well-endowed breasts over chat....wonderful experience, almost hypnotizing....and she admitted to getting a rush out of showing off/turning me on. Now-a-days you're lucky to get a little still-frame snap-shot of a specific body part out of a female chat partner from the same efforts that used to get you results. Guys seemed to hold on a little longer with showing off their cocks on cam and chatting on mic, but now most of them have returned to just texting or typing in a chatroom (unless they find the rare acquaintance who is able to convince them that she is female....don't be that guy....). "Phone sex" chat rooms that used to be a safe bet for finding a buddy are still filling up with numbers, but you're unlikely to hear a peep out of the screen names listed. I can definitely relate if you're frustrated, as I came of age with AOL chat rooms and the old Adult Chat Network (if anyone can remember ACN). People of both sexes used to go hog-wild on there, and even in the main rooms there was constant adult-oriented chat without ridicule that always had the potential to lead to more intimate forms of communication.

Here is what I've been able to deduce by doing a little research (I've actually gone into my favorite adult chat rooms to ask these questions, as well as bugged my Yahoo buds endlessly for their points of view): Several people have told me that anything outside of text chat on websites is too dangerous now-a-days after the horror stories that have surfaced over the years of people running into morons/screwballs once they give too much personal info online (or meet in-person) following an internet encounter. Hearing your voice or seeing you on cam would constitute "personal info" in this instance, as many people feel like this "gives them away" in a blatant manner. After all, once you're on the internet, whatever info you've shared (voice, face, body, or written info) is there for good. I hesitated to believe this argument at first since there are many instances of silly humans continuing unsafe behaviors that compromise the lives of others, but I found it hard to attribute the timidity to anything else. I just didn't feel that anything else had changed enough over the decade-and-a-half to noticeably affect online behavior in that way. After all, we definitely have at least as many people on internet chat sites now --- they're just more restrained.

As my brain started thinking outside the box a bit better (this involved switching the focus from frustration to curiosity), I realized a TON of people who look for escape/companionship/stimulation on the internet are already married or living with company of some sort (friends/family/housemates) that would restrict their ease of camming/micing unless everyone on their end was accepting of this behavior. Now I'm not saying that has changed over time (married people were definitely online back in the AOL days), but I feel like a lot of people have gotten caught "red-handed" during this time, if you know what I mean. I can speak to a couple instances where my chat buddies got "in trouble" with their significant others for enjoying themselves online (often related to lack of communication with the partner or not being careful enough with their private hobbies in a relationship that was already fizzling). As you can imagine (and despite our human nature to often continue behaviors that are unhealthy for us), this can put a damper on the naughty behaviors of some who are in serious relationships. People seem to be learning, over time, how much they can realistically "get away with," and some are starting to put on the breaks before the cam/voice-chat phase.

I have also noticed that many of my female chat buds are complaining of men just wanting to talk about sex (duh...that's nothing new ), and being unable to get much out of the conversation/online relationship. I am starting to think this is one of the biggest issues (at least between men and women), and I honestly attribute it to men and women being significantly different in this department (not a super promising mindset to take for the future, I know, but please read on for my recommendations). From my experience, the majority of men visit adult sites (like Lit and chat sites) to "get off." They are looking for release....either sharing naughty fantasies or enjoying pics/gifs/vids with like-minded partners to the point of orgasm. Most women definitely enjoy porn, and absolutely enjoy indulging in their fantasies, but they require a bit more introduction/"verbal foreplay" in most instances. Sometimes they are looking to connect more than "get off." They have a desire to feel "safe" and engaged in a way that us guys often overlook. As most of us know, if you find a "pink"/female name in a chatroom that jumps right into asking for your cock, she is usually a dude posing as a female (not that it always stops all of us in our tracks when we're desperate...). There are exceptions to these "rules," and I've found these exceptions have a much better chance of escalating to phone/mic/cam-related chats (whether the man is more patient with his conversation, or the woman is just more exploratory/less-inhibited).

A lot of people also seem to have adopted KIK as a pastime (I'm not one of them). KIK allows you to see the other person and voice-chat from your phone, from what I understand, so that may be the way to go for you. I am struggling to explain why people prefer this means of showing themselves, but it seems to be the case. Maybe it's mostly about immediate access wherever you are, since it's just an app in your phone that allows you to connect without having to first use your brain to consider repercussions? I may end up adopting KIK out of curiosity, to explore this situation further....

One final possibility for the decrease in phone/voice chat is that it has gotten stale/gone out of vogue. Humans have very short attention spans for most novel crazes/behaviors. Luckily, we tend to come full-circle, so it may pick back up at some point in the future. I've personally found that many online kinks that used to get me going do not do the trick as well anymore. It's a bit like developing a tolerance to a substance....you gotta keep stepping it up, or in this case making it kinkier and kinkier, to get the same rush. Maybe it's just too commonplace for some folks to cam/mic/voice-chat these days, and hence not worth the presumed increase in risk.

OK, on to the section that may be all you were looking for:

What I've found works best for chatting with dudes is beginning with a general exploratory chat to find common interests, sharing some background on yourself, and enjoying some pics/vids/gifs that you both can enjoy. Guys are pretty visually-oriented in this department, so the pics/etc generally get the blood flowing pretty nicely. After all that fancy ice-breaking material (it really doesn't take much), I've found that some guys are willing to at least hear you on mic, and a few are even willing to join you. Even guys expect a little bit of sanity/trust in the conversation (or at least a raging hard-on) before moving forwards to "exposing" themselves further....

With women, it is definitely more work (surprise, surprise). Women invest more in relationships in the real-world, and are often in a more vulnerable physical predicament (Amazonians and Ronda-Rousey-like women excluded). Naturally, they will play harder-to-get to protect themselves and weed out the low-quality partners. However, if you are able to stimulate their minds through witty banter and a lack of predictable supplicating behaviors, they often open up over time. Even 10 years ago, it was quite rare to get a woman to jump on cam the very first time we chatted. While it's noticeably harder to get that cam turned on today, I have been able to voice-chat with like-minded women recently after building a significant amount of trust/comfort. I have also gotten plenty of snapshots of different body parts (often without any request from my end) when I hit the right buttons. The initial step involves posting something in a chat (or adult site, like Lit) that catches her eye. Once she responds, you either screw it up by turning up the sex-talk too high, or you continue stimulating her mind by exploring her interest with her. This eventually gets you where you want, while allowing her to enjoy the process, as well. You may find that she becomes a sopping mess for you on cam/voice-chat at this point....and you're welcum, if you make it this far .

Anywho, in summary: people are definitely more hesitant to voice-chat/phone (and cam) these days, but from my observations it just requires doing a little more groundwork in terms of convincing your buddy that you're not a freak who's going to stalk/incessantly bug/lock them in your basement if you ever meet in-person. Try KIK if you want the more immediate gratification (I imagine there's a way to voice-chat without cam on KIK?) I'd be very curious to hear your results if you give it a go.

Best wishes for more adventurous chat-mates, and keep us posted!

 

[GhostFeather18]

The_id, you hit the nail on the head with the first intriguing her mind speech. I speak from personal experience that I weed out the not so great lovers before I give voice chat a shot. I have limited time to myself and I don't want to waste it on a partner that I don't jive with.

 

[FierceMaiden]

Good answer! Comprehensive.

FWIW, I've not joined KIK yet either. At some point I think I just said, okay, thats enough social (media) accounts. Saturation.

 

[txgent101]

From Text To Skype

I have enjoyed a couple of interactions lately that started out as Lit Chat exchanges, graduated to Skype text chat, thence to voice. It was a very good way to segue to voice. I did get as far as a cam to cam interaction, but that got very awkward because we each got tangled up getting the darned camera aimed correctly!

I do like the text type chat because I like to sprinkle images and clips to illustrate and spice up the conversation.

Do others of you like to include images in your chat sex?

 

[The_Id]

Smells like Success

It seems like Literotica is our best bet for a starting point towards cam/mic/voice-chat. Despite there being specific "phonesex" and "webcam" rooms on most popular adult chat sites, people seem to take the Lit Personals a little more seriously. I think that's a compliment to those of us who frequent the site....

Sounds like we're figuring things out, slowly but surely. Here's to continued success for all you kinky people looking to tease your partner's mind and body with your spoken words....

P.S. I'd be quite curious to hear from anyone who has experience with adult "hook-up" sites or fetish sites. People are specifically going there looking for sex and sex-related activities. Do you find it's easier to get those cams/phones in your buddy's hand when you're starting from a setting where your end goals are even more obvious?

 

[iNeeditslow]

My experience started like 15 or so years ago. MSN and yahoo chat was all the rage. You would meet on the chat room msn didn't have voice but yahoo did so you segued from chat to voice if you could get a word in. To private messenger where you had cams and mics to then the phone. I still till this day enjoy a good phone sesh. In a way I miss the old chat room thing.
Now Facebook messenger takes over that. But it's never the same

 

[Storyfeller]

Hilarious to see this oh-so-serious debate when the answer is actually very simple...

most 'females' on here are the kind who have no intention whatsoever of letting you hear their pleasant tenor, baritone and bass voices...

 

[iNeeditslow]

Hilarious to see this oh-so-serious debate when the answer is actually very simple...

most 'females' on here are the kind who have no intention whatsoever of letting you hear their pleasant tenor, baritone and bass voices...

I'm sure some man would find my deep voice sexy as hell

 

[JonathanBair]

Hey all just found this thread. To the first post about what happened to voice chat...

I am happy to text on Skype or Discord, but I don't voice that much from on here as I got a loud background. If my chat partner wants to talk and is ok with a motormouth dog that loves to talk in the background, then ya I would be glad to talk.. I just dont cam.. LOL.. Tho I gotta say I did just leave the Skype thread as it was just guys in there it seamed like. *shrugs*