Misquote the Person Above You {2016}

[MagicaPractica]

When are we going to give fresh garden peas a chance?

Well, I think it's a little late in the summer for that.

 

[LizVegas79]

Well, I think I'm a little late which is a bummer.

I've got to stop letting my husband cum inside me. And my boyfriend too.

 

[MagicaPractica]

I can't believe my husband is cumming inside my boyfriend.

Hey, sounds like a fun time for everyone.

 

[AnAngelReally]

Hey, those clowns sound like they have a fun time together.

Yahoo! Ride'em cowboy! What happens on brokeback mountain is only natural after all.

 

[LizVegas79]

Yahoo! Ride'em cowgirl! What happens on brokeback mountain isn't natural after all.

I've tried to turn a couple of gay guys straight. But at least we've always been able to stay friends afterwards. lol

 

[RubiDia]

I would check the mail before you fuck her. Not in her. That's really creepy.

Another misguided soul.

 

[Dream_Operator]

Another missed solstice.

Don't worry, winter is coming.

 

[SeanBurns1975]

Don't wipe up after she's been cuming!

I agree, don't let all that delicious stank go to waste!

 

[AnAngelReally]

I agree, don't let all that scrumptious skank get away!

It's a great cardio-vascular exercice to run after one, even more so once you catch her.

 

[LizVegas79]

Is Stayin' Alive even played anymore?

Throwing your panties on stage is a great way to get invited back stage after the show.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Throwing up on stage is not a great way to get invited back stage after the show.

But it might get you some attention anyway.

 

[AnAngelReally]

But it might get you some detention.

Or at least a physical expulsion from the site.

 

[LizVegas79]

A physical expulsion might be fun.

Some security guards can be very grabby with their hands when you're just wearing a tube top and cut-off shorts.

 

[AnAngelReally]

Some security guards can be very grabby when you already threw your bra and panties at the band.

Are you speaking from experience, sweetheart?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Are you having a peak experience, sweetheart?

Not bad, but you should have seen me with your sister.

 

[AnAngelReally]

Not really, but you should have seen your sister with the drummer.

That's a shame, I had to settle for the selfie she took as she was going down on the barista.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

It's a shame! I had to settle for self abuse while she was going down on the bartender.

You should have waited; she was giving everyone a turn.

 

[Comentarista82]

You should have waited; she was giving everyone a turn.

It turned out well for everyone that turned up?

 

[AnAngelReally]

It turned out well for everyone who waited in line.

I know! Instead of waiting at her head, I went behind her. What a snapper!

 

[Joe_Bob_Gautama]

I'd ordered the tuna, but in spite of the waiter's mistake, I was pleasantly surprised. What a snapper!

Me, I prefer to liken feminine genitalia to mollusks, but hey, that's just my thing.

 

[AnAngelReally]

Me, I prefer to suck feminine genitalia like mollusks, but hey, that's just my thing.

Figuratively only, I hope. Personally, I prefer a fresher scent and taste.

 

[AnAngelReally]

Figuratively only, I hope. I prefer a flowery over fishy smell.

I recently saw the 'Castle' episode with a woman suffering from hyperosmia. It was hilarious, but I don't envy her the condition.

 

[Joe_Bob_Gautama]

I recently met a woman who suffers from hyperOzmia. She sings exquisitely, but has a knack for attracting eccentric and needy friends.

At what age should a man stop wearing red Converse throwbacks?

 

[LizVegas79]

At my age I should stop wearing red Converse throwbacks, but chicks just dig them.

If your niece comes onto me again I might just take her up on her offer.

 

[Joe_Bob_Gautama]

If your niece comes selling Samoas in my neighborhood, I might just throw on a robe and answer the door.

My niece is a champion cow-milker--I'm not sure it's a transferable skill set.