A relative died

[Down4fun91]

I'm out

[ No longer Here ]

 

[OldJourno]

Perhaps mental health professionals can help you with being "phased."
As for me, I'm unfazed by your reaction to the death. It strikes me as perfectly normal.

 

[Down4fun91]

[ No longer Here ]

 

[Froya]

I never knew her well enough to form a bond. I have like 5 years of time spent with my maternal grandmother. She was dying of cancer, in immense pain and yesterday she stopped taking her meds and died. My mom is hurting, obviously so, and all I can do is be supportive. I feel happy knowing now that she's in a better place, but I feel shitty for feeling serene when everyone else is breaking down. I have never had a problem accepting the fact that people die, but I am unsure why I'm not phased. Is this normal or am I just fucked off as a human being?

There's no reason for you to break down over the death of someone you hardly knew. When my paternal grandmother died, I was sad for my father, but it wasn't really a personal loss for me in the same way. I have some nice memories, but I've never lived close to her and never had much of a relationship with her.

No need to feel shitty, just keep being support for your mom.

 

[pollynova]

I'm sorry for you lose. Just keep being there for your mom.

 

[slutindianwife]

sorry 2 hear

 

[oggbashan]

People die. We all die eventually. It is a normal part of being human.

When I was young children died at my school from illnesses that are uncommon now. We were told at school that so and so had died at the weekend, over the holiday, or in hospital last night - and that was it. We didn't expect or need counselling. If it was a particular friend who had died the group might meet to mourn him/her at break or lunch time but then we got on with daily life - because death was part of our common experience.

If someone is close to you and has been for years it is harder to live with the loss. If a relation was significant in your life there is a hole that they used to fill. But for someone, also related, who had little contact it isn't wrong that they don't feel the loss the same way.

If children lose a grandparent it depends on the child's experience of that grandparent. If the grandparent had been old, ill and bedridden for the whole of the child's memory, then the loss would not seem the same as for a grandparent who had been a playmate, a companion, an advisor, a bringer of gifts...

Donne's poem No Man Is An Island has truth in it but the death of one person you barely knew can affect you far less than the person who knew and loved them for years.

 

[hobbit.]

People die. We all die eventually. It is a normal part of being human. what the fuck is normal about being human?

When I was young being taken capitive by Viking raiders is not the same as dyingchildren died at my school from illnesses that are uncommon now. (try contacting operation Yewtree) We were told at school that so and so had died at the weekend, over the holiday, or in hospital last night - always question authority, especially when death is involved in suspicious circumstances and with no eveidence, such as a corpse. and that was it.

Wasnt this covered on a TimeTeam special?

 

[Ms_Ann]

I never knew her well enough to form a bond.........

There's your answer.

 

[rocket_surgery]

Might hit later. When my grandpa died it didn't bother me at all until weeks later. My grandmas died and one I barely noticed was gone and the other was no big deal emotionally.
When my mom died I was sad off and on for quite a while but didn't feel bad for those times I wasn't.
Be different when my dad dies because no matter how old you get you always know in the back of your mind that if shit goes south your parents are there to help.

 

[cfuhrer]

I have never had a problem accepting the fact that people die, but I am unsure why I'm not phased. Is this normal or am I just fucked off as a human being?

It's not just you. I'm totally okay with death, too.
The best I can do is offer a head pat and a "there, there" and hope everyone else sees it as "strength in a time of chaos".

 

[Fierywhore]

I never knew her well enough to form a bond. I have like 5 years of time spent with my maternal grandmother. She was dying of cancer, in immense pain and yesterday she stopped taking her meds and died. My mom is hurting, obviously so, and all I can do is be supportive. I feel happy knowing now that she's in a better place, but I feel shitty for feeling serene when everyone else is breaking down. I have never had a problem accepting the fact that people die, but I am unsure why I'm not phased. Is this normal or am I just fucked off as a human being?

I think your feelings can be quite normal, everyone handles death differently.. Keep on being you

 

[Down4fun91]

[ No longer Here ]

 

[Ms_Ann]

Thank you all. I'm really feeling the physical pull of depression, but my head is clear.

Amazingly, you got off pretty easy.