Question for former "conservative" Ladies

[UnderBridge]

What opened up your desire to experience your sexuality?

My wife is very reserved. Sex is basically one way and few and far between. If she knew I was here she would consider it like having an affair/watching porn. So I can't easily get her to look around here. She would be grossed out.

How did you come to embrace your sexuality?

 

[IsabellaSantiago]

What opened up your desire to experience your sexuality?

My wife is very reserved. Sex is basically one way and few and far between. If she knew I was here she would consider it like having an affair/watching porn. So I can't easily get her to look around here. She would be grossed out.

How did you come to embrace your sexuality?

For me, it was simply just loving sex.

I can't remember where it was that I read it, but it is one of those things that the more you do it, the more you want to do it. I realized pretty quickly that it was something I wanted more of and gradually because less shy, less conservative about it.

I think the first big step was talking about little fantasies I wanted to explore with partners and what they wanted to explore and making them happen. Soon those little things got bigger and more daring. If I want something sexual, then I've realized I've got to go ahead and do it because I wont be able to enjoy those things forever and I don't want to regret missing out!

 

[UnderBridge]

For me, it was simply just loving sex.

I can't remember where it was that I read it, but it is one of those things that the more you do it, the more you want to do it. I realized pretty quickly that it was something I wanted more of and gradually because less shy, less conservative about it.

I think the first big step was talking about little fantasies I wanted to explore with partners and what they wanted to explore and making them happen. Soon those little things got bigger and more daring. If I want something sexual, then I've realized I've got to go ahead and do it because I wont be able to enjoy those things forever and I don't want to regret missing out!

I used to ask my wife about her fantasies (married 17 years). She told me she didn't have any. I know she was more wild in college and more experienced before we got married. I would assume our more conservative faith squashed any sexuality.

However, we have both left our fundamentalist faith views behind. I should say I was always sexual and "sinned" (i.e. Porn) , but my religion kept the expression in check.

In talking with my wife, she just says that sex doesn't interest her much anymore.

I realize there is a whole host of reasons why and possibilities. I guess when that time comes when sex interests her again, I want to see her really embrace her sexuality.

 

[IsabellaSantiago]

There just isn't a switch for it. I probably didn't get across the communication and the mental side of things as much as I should. If anything, those are more important, but if even those are no-go's, I doubt pressing things will help.

I guess you've haven't told her about how you feel?

 

[UnderBridge]

Yes. We have talked.

 

[Bigspurt]

I used to ask my wife about her fantasies (married 17 years). She told me she didn't have any. I know she was more wild in college and more experienced before we got married. I would assume our more conservative faith squashed any sexuality.

However, we have both left our fundamentalist faith views behind. I should say I was always sexual and "sinned" (i.e. Porn) , but my religion kept the expression in check.

In talking with my wife, she just says that sex doesn't interest her much anymore.

I realize there is a whole host of reasons why and possibilities. I guess when that time comes when sex interests her again, I want to see her really embrace her sexuality.

Some Ideas:

http://www.marriagebed.tips/

http://arabahjoy.com/sex-life/

 

[Sunshinecitygirl]

She may not believe she is sexy anymore. Our society has drilled it into our heads-what is sexy. Sexuality is only for the fit and the beautiful. Unfortunately that is a belief that holds many women back from sexual fulfilment. If you worry about what you look like having sex, you will have a hard time enjoying it. I really embraced my sexuality when I got over trying to be a porn star and focused more on pleasing myself and my partner. But I'm still wearing lingerie and high heels

 

[scott6251]

Some 'herbal assistance' on occasion has worked well for us.
Being less inhibited is wonderful.

 

[Bigspurt]

But I'm still wearing lingerie and high heels

Love it!!

 

[MissCautious]

You say it doesn't interest her much anymore, so did it used to? If so has anything significant changed? Childbirth or menopause, or something in between?

I can relate to how you feel. My partner is rarely interested in sex at all these days and it gets incredibly frustrating. While it doesn't solve the problem at all, lots of solo play does help. It's hard not to think it's you though eh.