Annoying Phone Calls

[silver gurl]

So lately we have been receiving a number of phone calls from an Indian call center. Saying they are Microsoft etc. and need access to my computer.

Last time, I cut the guy off and said you want my password? He hung up.

The other time, I just set the phone down and let him babble on.

Tonight, I said I don't own a computer. He replied "ok, right".

Eh, fuck off.

Give me some good snarky replies....

 

[jezzilee]

So lately we have been receiving a number of phone calls from an Indian call center. Saying they are Microsoft etc. and need access to my computer.

Last time, I cut the guy off and said you want my password? He hung up.

The other time, I just set the phone down and let him babble on.

Tonight, I said I don't own a computer. He replied "ok, right".

Eh, fuck off.

Give me some good snarky replies....

Nice boots wanna fuck? They have NO idea what to say (especially if they are wearing boots)

 

[cfuhrer]

I'm no help, sorry.

Unless I recognize the number, they can talk to my voice mail.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Bidin~Time]

you could always have a list of not passwords and give them them one by one with LIT offhand explanation of the passwod. When the first doesn't work, move on to the next.

<you> well let's see,my husband bought this computer as a surprise gift, so I think I used ohlordhedeservedthisblowjobSOMUCH, no? that's not it, are you sure? well crap let me think...

you get the idea

 

[silver gurl]

Good ideas.

Sadly, there are probably elderly folks out there, that fall victim.

 

[hashtag46]

Give me some good snarky replies....

Are you a nigerian pretending to be indian?

 

[Rightguide]

So lately we have been receiving a number of phone calls from an Indian call center. Saying they are Microsoft etc. and need access to my computer.

Last time, I cut the guy off and said you want my password? He hung up.

The other time, I just set the phone down and let him babble on.

Tonight, I said I don't own a computer. He replied "ok, right".

Eh, fuck off.

Give me some good snarky replies....

Put him on hold.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[adrina]

I keep them going for as long as possible. While they are thinking I am buying it they aren't bothering someone who falls for it. And the sad thing is to keep these scams going there must be people still believing it.

It's quite amusing really and you can keep going while getting on with other stuff if you put them on handsfree. What's really brilliant is when you get them telling you that you are a time waster. They get really irate sometimes and Quite furious. I have also asked them how they feel about what they do for a living. That's a fun one. That really gets them hopping. Be braced, if you cannot take it....oh, it's ok you are here on gB, you'll be fine

Hahaha... Yes I do think I like you.

This is awesome. I'm still chuckling.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Aquagal]

I know someone that scams the dudes emailing about winning your Nigerian money. They have no idea they are being scammed back, he makes them do some awesome awful shit to tie up their time. Some of these play out for weeks and months.

 

[oggbashan]

Just ask:

"Can you talk me through upgrading to Windows 3.1 from DOS 6.22?"

My wife's usual response to someone claiming to be from Microsoft Technical Support is to say "No, you're not." and she puts the phone down.

If they claim to be from "Your Internet Provider" she says "Why do you provide such a crap service?" and she puts the phone down.

If they claim to be from her bank she says "You can't be a banker. Bankers are bastards" and she puts the phone down.

If I answer and they ask for her I say "She doesn't accept these calls" and I put the phone down. She does the same if they ask for me.

My elderly neighbour keeps a loud ex-police whistle that he blows down the phone. He and his wife can't hear it because they have lost their upper range of hearing.

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Buy one of those compressed air boat air horns.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I tell them I'm really busy right now, but you can reach me later at this number. Then I give them the local number to the FBI.

 

[Aquagal]

I ask for their home number so I can call them back when it's more convenient.

 

[MNGuy]

I have a variety of responses based on my mood.

Usually I get really friendly and ask them what they are wearing.

During the election season I got a call wanting my opinion, so I finally got to use something I read on the internet. I pretended they call Stonewood Consulting and I would be happy to give them an opinion. As such we charged $300/hour, which is not prorated, so 5 minutes of consulting costs the same as 1 hour of consulting.

The caller said, no, this is free. I replied that we are running a consulting business and they called us, so we would be charging them. In addition, I overlooked it was a weekend and night, the the weekend and night rates increase the charge to $450/hour. Again they said this was free.

I replied it was most certainly not since they solicited our business, and started asking them for their credit card information. They started getting testy, still claiming it was free, so I kept pressing for their credit card information. Finally they hung up on me.

The other fun one was the call about my computer, I started asking the caller if they had previously called. They said they did, so I started asking them if they can access the computer, they said they could to check it. So I then started asking them if they were the party responsible for putting the child pornography on the computer, and if they had any knowledge about the homicide of the computer owner. I mentioned a subpoena, and they hung up.

When I'm in the mood, these calls are fun.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Zumi, this would make a good thread; if we could record the calls and upload them a never ending attempt for longest discussion with a telephone fraudster.

This kinda reminds me of the old Jerky Boys prank call routines from the late '90s.

http://cps-static.rovicorp.com/3/JPG_500/MI0000/022/MI0000022098.jpg?partner=allrovi.com

 

[FGB]

I have "WON" well, I lost count of the Vacations,Cruises & Hotel stays since the first of the year.

Now I am a member of the Holiday Inn Club...RCI and my boat will soon,I hope be fixed so I have NO use for any of that.

The new thing is either AI or a computer calling...sound like a real person except you can't interrupt them to tell them to go away.

 

[yossi]

I'm boring - I won't answer numbers I don't recognize.

 

[Mahnoor]

So lately we have been receiving a number of phone calls from an Indian call center.

Thats what you get for giving your number to dishrag, he shared it with his entire family.
Don't say you weren't warned.

 

[Floridian]

So lately we have been receiving a number of phone calls from an Indian call center. Saying they are Microsoft etc. and need access to my computer.

Last time, I cut the guy off and said you want my password? He hung up.

The other time, I just set the phone down and let him babble on.

Tonight, I said I don't own a computer. He replied "ok, right".

Eh, fuck off.

Give me some good snarky replies....

https://up8.xhcdn.com/000/139/858/376_1000.gif

Daughter says, "Thanks Mom for calling home while you and Dad are on vacation."

Mother replies, "This was a nice chat. Can I talk with your brother Michael for a few
moments?"

Daughter says, "No, he is busy right now."

 

[FL30]

There is a comedian that has recorded a lot of prank calls that he has pulled on telemarketers that have called him.

I think you can find some of them on youtube if you do a search for prank calls on telemarketers.

Some of them are absolutely hilarious.

 

[pink]

You need a good old fashioned whistle like track coaches used to use back in the old days.

 

[warrior queen]

I ask them to spell everything, as I am recording the conversation in writing...
Me : Please spell 'Hello, my name is Ben...'
Them: What?
Me: Spell 'what'.

Or I ask very personal questions...... Are you wearing underpants? Because I have this 'thing'..... Talking to guys who are commando really gets me hot..... And it's been soooooo long since I got to play!

But, on a serious note - you can do something about these calls.
Most often, these scammers are using a computer program to call random numbers... this is why there is often a few seconds of 'nothingness/blank' on the phone before you hear a voice.
You can use this against them!
If you simply wait without making a sound when you answer the call, they usually hang up at the end of that 'nothingness' because the computer registers that phone number as defective. Note: this only works for some scammers, and only if you remain completely silent.
(If you answer the phone and say 'Hello...', then the computer knows the phone number is valid, and your number will likely end up being on-sold to other scammers!)
If you have number display, do not answer any numbers you don't recognise. Even if you have an answering service, you will be recognised as an invalid number by their computer program after 3 attempts to contact you.