"Grandpa goes to Heaven" - Trigger warning

[Shankara20]

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http://68.media.tumblr.com/5f7b90cb670bda8f014847ddd174712f/tumblr_ols6llR8Q61sorrnlo1_500.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/ca811d80cee554632dee444686ee9cea/tumblr_ols6llR8Q61sorrnlo2_500.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/0c7aa43bcae01bc91f287ad6dfe9b1c2/tumblr_ols6llR8Q61sorrnlo3_500.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/a6c61ec857a89e7d03811840ff20dd3a/tumblr_ols6llR8Q61sorrnlo4_500.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/5fd27740fab5e2577410ed4422cac606/tumblr_ols6llR8Q61sorrnlo5_500.jpg​

 

[Shankara20]

I stumbled across those pics a few moments ago and found them very moving.

I also know many folks here deal with mortality more often then most people think - hence the trigger warning.

I'm ok talking about death and the dying process. If others wish to add a comment, fine.

If this thread just falls away like so many others in the past, thats ok as well.

(heart)

 

[cookiecat]

That squeezed my heart!

The husband is super faithful. Me, not so much.

That being said, it gives me comfort knowing he is at peace with death.

http://i.imgur.com/YV16qhr.jpg

 

[Eva_Star]

I do think that belief systems/faith has a lot to do with an individual's thoughts on death.

I love life. I hope I have many more years on this planet but I'm not afraid to die. I believe that there is only a thin veil between worlds....no one is ever truly separate...no one is ever truly gone.

I've lost loved ones and yes, I miss their earthly presence but I believe they are still with me, just beyond the veil.

 

[gracie920101]

12 years ago today I stood in a tiny out of the way cemetery overlooking mom's favorite lake. I wondered how I could leave her there and finish my life without my best friend who had loved me every day of my life up to that point.

12 years was yesterday but a lifetime ago if you know what I mean and I still don't have a good answer.

She's always in my heart and J and I still speak of her daily usually about a food she would have liked or some place we could have taken her or just something I want to show her. She remains part of my life.

What a great legacy - we should all be so lucky to be so long remembered!

Thanks for sharing that lovely pictoral tale.

 

[yukonnights]

Shank,

Perhaps it's fate, perhaps mere coincidence, but tonight I have come face to face with death again with news of a loved one's probable soon departure. It was a shock since all of the doctors were very optimistic going into surgery, but the outcome is worse than any imagined. I am too familiar with this play... How can the inevitable always come as such a shock?

I have pondered death, perhaps too much these many years. I have a neatly arraigned collection of thoughts and beliefs that serve me pretty well, in theory. But still, the reality of the empty void which is coming brings tears of heartbreak. A void is as close as I can come to describing the experience of death...there is a palpable absence of a familiar energy that is not really noticed until it is gone.

Yes, theoretically I am on gentle terms with death. Maybe it's not death which is so much the question as the empty place where there was once life, laughter, hugs and hopes. Ironically, in my meditations this morning I was exploring the yin and yang of all things...how we must have an opposite in order to comprehend anything...can one appreciate light without darkness...warmth without cold...love without hate...joy without sadness...and yes, could we fully embrace life without death urging us to press ever harder to never waste a moment.

Death of a loved one creates a void someplace within me that has no substitute or replacement. It is a rending of the fabric that is "me"...a scrap here and a scrap there torn away over time until I am tattered and torn...no longer strong with the pride of youth...no longer blind in my ignorance...no longer arrogant in my speech...no longer wise in my own mind...stripped and shredded, naked before the Universe. And knowing that this too is a good thing, even if I cannot fully comprehend it.

So thank you Shank, for providing a place for me to try and sort my thoughts a bit. I needed to cry and writing his ramble of thoughts has helped.

(sorry for any negative energy, really I mean that)

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Eva_Star]

(sorry for any negative energy, really I mean that)

There is nothing negative about feeling the pain and loss that comes with someone we care about departing this world. That is human.

((hugs))

 

[Shankara20]

There is nothing negative about feeling the pain and loss that comes with someone we care about departing this world. That is human.

((hugs))

I agree.


More thoughts after some morning tea

 

[Shankara20]

Loosing a dear one is the greatest pain I have ever experienced. As a teen loosing a parent and not being allowed to openly morn set me up for not handling the loss wife #1 well at all.

We in the West do a great disservice to those in the pain of loss telling them to "hang in there" or "this too shall pass" or....

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[cookiecat]

12 years ago today I stood in a tiny out of the way cemetery overlooking mom's favorite lake. I wondered how I could leave her there and finish my life without my best friend who had loved me every day of my life up to that point.

12 years was yesterday but a lifetime ago if you know what I mean and I still don't have a good answer.

She's always in my heart and J and I still speak of her daily usually about a food she would have liked or some place we could have taken her or just something I want to show her. She remains part of my life.

What a great legacy - we should all be so lucky to be so long remembered!

Thanks for sharing that lovely pictoral tale.

This is lovely. I'm in a place where I'm having a tough time thinking about a future without the husband. I keep thinking how do people do this? How do they get through it? And every day, I know they do. Thanks for sharing this - it made me feel a little hopeful.

 

[cookiecat]

yukonnights -

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[cfuhrer]

This is lovely. I'm in a place where I'm having a tough time thinking about a future without the husband. I keep thinking how do people do this? How do they get through it? And every day, I know they do. Thanks for sharing this - it made me feel a little hopeful.

I'm not good with words, but I give awesome "quiet shoulder".

 

[cfuhrer]

The capacity of human hearts is pretty vast, but they do give growing pains as they are stretched.

:like:

 

[cfuhrer]

All of my grandparents were gone by my mid-teens, so I dont really remember feeling their loss. My dad died just over a year ago but we had been estranged for nearly two decades. I did grieve but it was very abbreviated.

But - I grew up a farm girl and death was just what happened. Sometimes it was a favorite horse that you'd had for decades, sometimes it was a lamb just a few hours old. Sometimes they were quiet and expected. Sometimes they were traumatic and confusing. But you learn it's just part of the cycle.

I'm sure many look at me as cold and calloused, but I really don't see death as something to get lost in. It happens and you either move on or it drags you down with it.

I also have religious beliefs that tell me death is not the end, it's a new beginning. Like a divorce or being fired from a job. Also, I believe death is really more traumatic for those left behind than it is for the one who actually experiences it.

And, Shank. I did love the pictures. Especially the waves.

 

[yukonnights]

So many wise and comforting words. I sincerely thank everyone who has written on this too often avoided conversation. Shank, be it magic or coincidence, I thank you for taking the risk to start this thread topic. There is a display of human compassion in every word shared...

Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves.- James M. Barrie

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. - Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness - ST Paul

 

[yukonnights]

All of my grandparents were gone by my mid-teens, so I dont really remember feeling their loss. My dad died just over a year ago but we had been estranged for nearly two decades. I did grieve but it was very abbreviated.

But - I grew up a farm girl and death was just what happened. Sometimes it was a favorite horse that you'd had for decades, sometimes it was a lamb just a few hours old. Sometimes they were quiet and expected. Sometimes they were traumatic and confusing. But you learn it's just part of the cycle.

I'm sure many look at me as cold and calloused, but I really don't see death as something to get lost in. It happens and you either move on or it drags you down with it.

I also have religious beliefs that tell me death is not the end, it's a new beginning. Like a divorce or being fired from a job. Also, I believe death is really more traumatic for those left behind than it is for the one who actually experiences it.

And, Shank. I did love the pictures. Especially the waves.

I missed this, it should be in the quotes shown on my post above. Thank you for saying it so nicely (and you said you didn't have a way with words...humility is the evidence of wisdom - I'm sure I read that somewhere, so it must be true

 

[yukonnights]

yukonnights -

Other than my grandparents, I don't know anyone close to me who's died. And now, this thing with husband. It's insane. I don't think my heart can take anything more and then something else happens and the sadness takes my breath away. It's consuming.

It is truly insanity for us when something so dear is being torn from our arms. That this is a new experience for you makes it harder, I think. Logically we know it is the perfect way of the Universe, but our heart being rent hurts no less for this knowledge. There is no balm except time...but even time only transforms the pain into a bittersweet memory. But with time one begins to heal and the memories focus on the moments of beauty shared...but for now, the tearing of your fabric is painful...try to occasionally remember that this to will pass, and with some distant Dawn there will come healing and renewed hope.

Someone has said this : Do not let a day go by without expressing your love. Let the day's grievances die with the setting sun. Forgive easily and love easily, there is no risk in giving these away each day.

 

[Shankara20]

It has become almost their raisin d'etre or identity ....

My mother was like that. In all fairness she had a boatload of death to deal with but chose alcohol as her way of numbing the pain. She was unable to fully go into the loss and find resolution - so alcohol became her escape.

I suspect part had to do with the fact that she never had developed an identity of her own, she was so-and-so's daughter, so-and-so's wife, etc. Never fully Marie herself. So when the people she drew her identity from passed she was lost. She never did recover.



So many great comments here, alas I have a head cold and must return to bed for a bit. I hope to comment more later.

 

[midwestyankee]

Lately I've been chuckling at this bit of advice: This too shall pass. It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Shankara20]

A rather grim image of the angel Death...


https://68.media.tumblr.com/3a7c9778ba7f1dcf7ad9a0c96beb2329/tumblr_mfpzutCR791rx43ado1_500.png

 

[cfuhrer]

Lately I've been chuckling at this bit of advice: This too shall pass. It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

:like: