Am I The Only Virgin Here?

[Chris_Michael]

I'm just curious. Yeah yeah, go ahead and get your punches in about me being a loser. Don't care.

 

[HayleyLuvsSex]

I've talked to plenty on here, so you're definitely not alone. Also, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin.

 

[Firedog78]

I agree with Haley, nothing wrong with being a virgin. I think you'll find people here to be very accepting.

I know there are a few here.

You're no loser, now get out there and get your kink on. I'm sure there is someone waiting to take that title (virgin) from you.

 

[Chris_Michael]

Thanks to both of you.

Losing the virginity isn't really the endgame. I'm 29, and the problem isn't with the women I meet. It's a really complicated personal issue due to multiple factors like depression, anxiety, and numerous other obstacles. It's all being treated professionally, but it will not solve the sex problem.

I guess I was just seeing if there was anyone who could relate.

The worst part about it is the loneliness at times. I heard a man say that the most shocking part of his first encounter with a woman was how warm her body was up against his. That's the type of thing I don't even know about. It's like being deaf or blind because you have no idea what those feelings are.

Anyway, just food for thought. I appreciate the encouragement.

 

[Firedog78]

Thanks to both of you.

Losing the virginity isn't really the endgame. I'm 29, and the problem isn't with the women I meet. It's a really complicated personal issue due to multiple factors like depression, anxiety, and numerous other obstacles. It's all being treated professionally, but it will not solve the sex problem.

I guess I was just seeing if there was anyone who could relate.

The worst part about it is the loneliness at times. I heard a man say that the most shocking part of his first encounter with a woman was how warm her body was up against his. That's the type of thing I don't even know about. It's like being deaf or blind because you have no idea what those feelings are.

Anyway, just food for thought. I appreciate the encouragement.

Hang in there bud. Sounds like you're looking for intimacy, not just sex. Keep your head up and good luck.

 

[HayleyLuvsSex]

Yup, intimacy seems to be what you're looking for, and that's much harder to find than sex. If you just wanted to get laid, you could always fire up Tinder, or hit the local bar, or hire a prostitute. You are certainly not alone when it comes to intimacy.

But is this something that bothers you, or are you perfectly fine with your situation? If it bothers you, why haven't you done something about it? Do you get out enough? That's something I've struggled with. I'm such a homebody that I don't get out enough. And of course I'm not going to meet people when that happens.

Also, when you do get into a relationship, trust me: you will look back at your single days fondly. You'll wish you could have the freedom to do whatever you want again. Not having to compromise. That's not to say relationships are bad, but a bad relationship is WAYYY worse than being single. Embrace the situation you're in.

 

[KeltAssassin]

Virginity

With some of the girls I slept with in high school and beyond I wish I could take it back. It's worth it if you wait mate.

 

[ElsieElsewhere]

I've only been with one person, so if I reverted to an earlier save, I'd be a virgin.

 

[suckonsimon]

Chris
Seems to me just from what you've shared on this thread you're a real honest and together guy, for all the challenges you face. Good on you! Couple of things:

Please take delight in yourself, your passions, and your sexual energy and desire; solo pleasure is a thing of real value.

Please keep in mind that close friendship with the right person, whether platonic or with a sexual dimension, has massive potential to empower you as regards the challenges you live with. We are all 'walking wounded' to some degree; a genuine person who might have a growing affection for you is drawn to you as you are, any complicating factors included.

Hey. The best to you. Simon.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

This is definitely the place for you if you are a virgin. I don't think of you as a loser. I think of you as a person willing to see and explore what options are out there until you make that decision for yourself. Let your imagination soar. Know that there are those here with issues of their own using this arena as a way of escape from the pressures life can throw at you. You'll find yourself welcomed as you are now. You can read the plathora of stories, participate on threads, be a bit active on the posts and stalk as much as you want to.

Please don't feel so far behind you think you are the first though. And I'm very sure you are not the last. There is a venue here for everyone. Read a story. Pick different genres. Explore what excites you. The world's your oyster here.

In real life, it could help with overcoming the issues conflicting you. It's all in your paradigm of thought.

 

[RamblinRed]

Be kind to yourself, my friend. Whether or not you've had sex, making a meaningful connection with another person isn't an easy thing to do. You can never underestimate the role of luck or fortune in these things. I've been around long enough to know that you should never assume things will always be a certain way. They can change amazingly fast.

Out of all that bloviating, what you should really take away is be kind to yourself. Good luck.

 

[Chris_Michael]

Hang in there bud. Sounds like you're looking for intimacy, not just sex. Keep your head up and good luck.

Yup, intimacy seems to be what you're looking for, and that's much harder to find than sex. If you just wanted to get laid, you could always fire up Tinder, or hit the local bar, or hire a prostitute. You are certainly not alone when it comes to intimacy.

But is this something that bothers you, or are you perfectly fine with your situation? If it bothers you, why haven't you done something about it? Do you get out enough? That's something I've struggled with. I'm such a homebody that I don't get out enough. And of course I'm not going to meet people when that happens.

Also, when you do get into a relationship, trust me: you will look back at your single days fondly. You'll wish you could have the freedom to do whatever you want again. Not having to compromise. That's not to say relationships are bad, but a bad relationship is WAYYY worse than being single. Embrace the situation you're in.

I'm going to attempt to answer everybody, one at a time. You two are agreeing on one point. So, I'll place you together.

I should point out that I absolutely love my solitude. Not only do I have diagnosed social anxiety, I love being alone. So, the only time I ever leave my house is when I absolutely have to.

I definitely agree with you about embracing my situation and remembering being single fondly. Most of the time, I am so thankful for being free. However, I have sexual urges as well as loneliness. So, I have trouble at times. And of course, who wants to be a virgin after the age of 30? I dunno. I guess I could just not tell anybody and keep it a secret.

Most of my family and friends tell me that I could never handle living with another person, not even a roommate. I'm that irritable when being interrupted or spoken to at home. I'm pretty sure I'd be unpleasant to live with as well. Also, the thought of marriage or kids is ridiculous to me. I definitely don't want either.

Then again, some people tell me that they wish they weren't so dependent on other people. They see my solitude as a strength. So maybe it's for good.

 

[Chris_Michael]

With some of the girls I slept with in high school and beyond I wish I could take it back. It's worth it if you wait mate.

I'm on year 29. Haha. The whole "it's worth it to wait" point just doesn't seem logical by a certain age. Maybe to some people. But the reason it's not important to me is because I have an extremely high likelihood of meeting a woman who has been with multiple partners. And as some of my female friends on Lit know, I get pissed off listening to stories of their sexcapades. Lol

I've only been with one person, so if I reverted to an earlier save, I'd be a virgin.

Well, there's nothing wrong with reloading a previous save file.

It would be unreasonable for me to expect any adult to be completely celibate. It's nature.

 

[Chris_Michael]

Chris
Seems to me just from what you've shared on this thread you're a real honest and together guy, for all the challenges you face. Good on you! Couple of things:

Please take delight in yourself, your passions, and your sexual energy and desire; solo pleasure is a thing of real value.

Please keep in mind that close friendship with the right person, whether platonic or with a sexual dimension, has massive potential to empower you as regards the challenges you live with. We are all 'walking wounded' to some degree; a genuine person who might have a growing affection for you is drawn to you as you are, any complicating factors included.

Hey. The best to you. Simon.

Hey man, I appreciate the encouragement. I do have a very close friend I talk to on the phone daily. I'm very thankful for that friendship and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

This particular woman is married, and I'm not even sure I'd actually go through with sex if given the opportunity.

So, this seems contradicting. I want sex but I don't want sex. It's a biological urge but a pure fear as well. So, porn and my imagination will have to do. I will say I'm very jealous of people who can get laid easily. I actually get mad when I hear about it.

 

[Chris_Michael]

This is definitely the place for you if you are a virgin. I don't think of you as a loser. I think of you as a person willing to see and explore what options are out there until you make that decision for yourself. Let your imagination soar. Know that there are those here with issues of their own using this arena as a way of escape from the pressures life can throw at you. You'll find yourself welcomed as you are now. You can read the plathora of stories, participate on threads, be a bit active on the posts and stalk as much as you want to.

Please don't feel so far behind you think you are the first though. And I'm very sure you are not the last. There is a venue here for everyone. Read a story. Pick different genres. Explore what excites you. The world's your oyster here.

In real life, it could help with overcoming the issues conflicting you. It's all in your paradigm of thought.

Oh I've been on Lit since 2005. I started out asking embarrassing questions about penis size and my inability to get a girlfriend. I grew up here, reading real life marriage stories. I've met all kinds of people from all walks of life. This place has made a huge impact on me as a person.

So I started out as a virgin teenager who couldn't get laid to a 28yo (29 in May) dude who can't get laid. Haha

I'm extremely comfortable here. I don't even really see this place as an adult website. I don't post often but I usually don't have much to add to many conversations around here.

 

[Chris_Michael]

Be kind to yourself, my friend. Whether or not you've had sex, making a meaningful connection with another person isn't an easy thing to do. You can never underestimate the role of luck or fortune in these things. I've been around long enough to know that you should never assume things will always be a certain way. They can change amazingly fast.

Out of all that bloviating, what you should really take away is be kind to yourself. Good luck.

I 100% agree with this. Growing up, I thought that everybody just got married. I went to church and saw families, and I thought god was just going to hand me a woman on a silver platter. I expected to get married and take care of a family.

Not anymore! Some people are more fortunate than others. Then again, marriage may be less fortunate than being single! I might have actually gotten lucky after all!

 

[RamblinRed]

I 100% agree with this. Growing up, I thought that everybody just got married. I went to church and saw families, and I thought god was just going to hand me a woman on a silver platter. I expected to get married and take care of a family.

Not anymore! Some people are more fortunate than others. Then again, marriage may be less fortunate than being single! I might have actually gotten lucky after all!

If you're lucky enough (emphasis on lucky) to marry the right person, it's worth it, though even happy marriages are a lot of work and a challenge, even tedious occasionally. That said, you're much better off single than marrying the wrong person.

C'mon, you're smart, insightful, and articulate. Don't give up.

 

[Chris_Michael]

If you're lucky enough (emphasis on lucky) to marry the right person, it's worth it, though even happy marriages are a lot of work and a challenge, even tedious occasionally. That said, you're much better off single than marrying the wrong person.

C'mon, you're smart, insightful, and articulate. Don't give up.

Thanks man. I appreciate the encouraging words. I have a different opinion on marriage, but that's a topic for another day. I don't need to get married to get laid. haha

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

So ultimately, you just want to get laid with no commitments nor conversation?

 

[suckonsimon]

... So, this seems contradicting. I want sex but I don't want sex. It's a biological urge but a pure fear as well. So, porn and my imagination will have to do. ...

You have more about you, pal. Address that fear. When the opportunity comes you'll be working through that fear with some lovely gal who will take deep delight in playing her part in your journey through the anxiety to the pleasure and the joy. That will be a privilege for her. Such that she will want you again and again until you're a stud with her and she's screaming.

Why not that scenario, Chris? Look forward to it.

 

[Chris_Michael]

You have more about you, pal. Address that fear. When the opportunity comes you'll be working through that fear with some lovely gal who will take deep delight in playing her part in your journey through the anxiety to the pleasure and the joy. That will be a privilege for her. Such that she will want you again and again until you're a stud with her and she's screaming.

Why not that scenario, Chris? Look forward to it.

Hahaha Man, you're really an optimist, huh?

 

[Chris_Michael]

So ultimately, you just want to get laid with no commitments nor conversation?

No no no, of course not. Wait. I'm not sure how to answer this. I don't know what I want.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

No no no, of course not. Wait. I'm not sure how to answer this. I don't know what I want.

I didn't mean to put you on the spot, but I wasn't sure about what you were/are asking.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Ultimately the choice is yours of how and what you do with your life. I'm not here to force you to make a decision, but to let you know friends or friendly people are here if you want to get to know them.if you choose to be lonely, please forgive me for overstepping my boundaries.

Sex is not the main focus in me chatting here but just being genuine. I'm not after your underwear...lol...So no pressure.

 

[Chris_Michael]

Ultimately the choice is yours of how and what you do with your life. I'm not here to force you to make a decision, but to let you know friends or friendly people are here if you want to get to know them.if you choose to be lonely, please forgive me for overstepping my boundaries.

Sex is not the main focus in me chatting here but just being genuine. I'm not after your underwear...lol...So no pressure.

Oh nah, I'm not worried about that. I enjoy making friends on Lit. I have spoken to a lot of people from Lit on Skype voice chat. Being a gamer, I'm used to voice chatting with people I don't know well.

I can talk once I get comfortable. I had SassySheDevil and Aphroditiac on Skype and I out-talked both of them. lol. And I spend hours per day on the phone with Sassy.

It's face to face where I get weird. No eye contact, keeping to myself, indecisive, wanting to vanish and go back into my room playing my game.

I can even lecture. I was the primary lecturer in pharmacy school. I gave presentations on pharmacokinetics, pharmaceutics, ethnopharmacology, vetinary medicine, the treatment of pulminary embolism, Lyrica vs Horizant for Restless Legs Syndrome, a brief overview of oral contraceptives, drugs related to dimentia, migraines and why they are so hard to treat based on the clinical guidelines, etc.

I have no problem with standing on stages. I have no problem speaking to crowds. I just have anxiety when it comes to one-on-one, face-to-face interactions.

So I feel no pressure at all coming from you. Feel free to say what you please or ask any question. But if I don't know how to answer a question, then I'll just flat out say, "I don't know." And honestly, I don't know exactly what I want.