As The Hospital Pervs-- It's Overtime Time

[Saint Peter]

Don't cry.

 

[sweepthefloor]

it's the only way. crying is the cure.

but i have a job interview (i already have the job for sure) in an hour for a PRN position, a few extra shifts/month.

i will have to resume the attempt to cry when i get home.

 

[sweepthefloor]

we all knew it would come to this.

 

[Misshotndeep]

That is seriously the Thread name winner ^^^^ Wow! You guys are either very unimaginative or running out of interesting things to name them.

 

[sweepthefloor]

what the fuck are you typing about?

 

[Hard_Rom]

i smile a fake smile
so no one can actually see
that my pain is over whelming
that i could never leave

if any one were to ask,
i would have to say
i'm a broken angel
or i could fly away

no one has ever noticed
my eyes are always filled with tears
my heart is always breaking
and i don't want to be here

i don't think i'm an angel
for i don't believe in it
but in some ways i'm a BROKEN angel
hoping to fly away

i sperad my wings
i try to fly
but my hope
has already died

i let tears fall
i yell to someone
i reach out my hand
i run down the hall

no one chases after me
no one screams my name
i'll try to fly
if my wings don't burn

i'm a broken angel
i WANT to fly away

this broken angel
has almost died

i can't go to heaven
i've sinned too much
i can't go to hell
i've sinned not enough

i'm a broken angel
i need to fly
THIS broken angel
has pretty much died


Broken Angel

Joan Johnson

 

[sweepthefloor]

thank you. i will try to write when i get home.

and i will be smiling at the interview- for this extra job to fill the time.
and i already have the job.

because like the poem, they don't see the tears.

they only see the infectious energy mania secondary to the constant surge of adrenalin.

and there is no time to cry while cracking code carts and chests.

 

[Saint Peter]

it's the only way. crying is the cure.

but i have a job interview (i already have the job for sure) in an hour for a PRN position, a few extra shifts/month.

i will have to resume the attempt to cry when i get home.

Yay! New jobs are the best jobs.

Go have yourself a nice cry after the meeting. Let it all out.

Feel better.

 

[gotsnowgotslush]

Love evolved into being, along with what we became.

It took millions of years to get here.





*hug for you*

 

[sweepthefloor]

thank you.

i need a self-care plan.

 

[Wat_Tyler]

I don't do that "self-care" thing as well as I let on sometimes.


That said, I do stay busy, because as I have said repeatedly, depression struggles to hit a moving target.


The last three weeks have been amazing . . . full. Just full. No judgment of the fullness, just fullness.


There seems to be no let-up in sight . . . .

 

[Hard_Rom]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTUQDy4e8AM

[Verse 1]
Dear God
I’m writing this letter to you
Cause I don’t have a clue
Can you help me?

I’m sitting here
Simply trying to figure out
What my life’s all about
Can you tell me?

[Chorus]
I never wanted to be
The person you see
Can you tell me who I am?
I always wanted to die
But you kept me here alive
Can you tell me who I am?

[Verse 2]
I lie awake
Conducting this symphony
That you have gifted to me
But I can’t ever sleep

Don’t be mad
But I get weak inside
And I start to fall apart
Cause I feel nothing

[Chorus]
I never wanted to be
Some kind of comic relief
Please show me who I am
I've been tortured and scorned
Since the day that I was born
But I don't know who I am

[Bridge]
And I thank you man for everything
Sorry I'm so frightened about all of it
But I wish I could give you more
And all the lights are shining down on me
And I feel intimidated by it all

[Outro]
I never wanted to be
The person you see
But thank you

Oh, God please tell me now
Are you disappointed? Are you proud?
Haven’t I done everything, everything

I’m so sorry I’m so weak
And I’ve turned into a freak
But I don’t know anything, anything

I’ve lost all self-esteem
By burying everything
And I feel nothing, nothing

Oh God please tell me now
Oh God please tell me now
Cause I feel nothing

And dear God
I’m writing this letter to you
I am coming unglued
Please help me

 

[Shagly]

thank you.

i need a self-care plan.

Like Obamacare?

 

[Jennifer]

Like Obamacare?

Please. Nurses don't make enough money to have decent insurance.

 

[Shagly]

Please. Nurses don't make enough money to have decent insurance.

...yet they get the usual 14 hour work days.

 

[jomar]

Hello nurse janey,

Longtime reader, first time poster!

I read with hopeful joy then sadness that things didn't work out.

It I were up you're way I'd definitely take you to lunch, give you a big non-Trump style bear hug, and tell you to not despair or give up.

You give so much positive energy to the universe I can't but believe it will happen for you.

xxxooo,

jomar


P.S. Did you get the job?

 

[Hard_Rom]

I Don't Love Anybody

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_STDQgEp3uo

I ain't got no mystery
I'm bitter, burnt and black
I'm full of hate,
And I can't wait
Until I get you back

Cause I don't love anybody
I just wanna make you cry
I don't need anybody
Now until the day I die

You push and pull my buttons
You drill holes in my head
I'll take the blackest hole,
And deepest wound
And saddest note to bend

Cause I don't love anybody
I just wanna make you cry
I don't need anybody
Now until the day I die

You scoff at misfortune
You can't shake a stare
There is no hope,
There's only rope
To tie around your neck

Cause I don't love anybody
I just wanna make you cry
I don't need anybody
Now until the day I die

 

[sweepthefloor]

xxxooo,

jomar


P.S. Did you get the job?

I appreciate these compliments. I would welcome the affection.



I guess I feel hurt, I mean I actually cried. I cried the most because I thought it was all going to be simple and normal. I feel so violated now when I think about his tongue in my mouth. Revolting! It was stupid of me to think that I could maintain a loving relationship. My brain is broken and I don’t have the time to fix it. I accept my fate and I am not unhappy about it.


I did get the job as expected, but let’s not get too excited. I am not leaving Trauma, I am just picking up PRN shifts in an easier ICU at a different hospital.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I don't do that "self-care" thing as well as I let on sometimes.


That said, I do stay busy, because as I have said repeatedly, depression struggles to hit a moving target.


The last three weeks have been amazing . . . full. Just full. No judgment of the fullness, just fullness.


There seems to be no let-up in sight . . . .

The thing about depression is it's hard to move when it lays on top of me like a heavy weighted quilt in the heat of the summer.

Anyway, I am glad you are full. I have been busy, and it's hard to be depressed when someone is always sicker than myself.

The every hour I/O flowsheet seems to bring me comfort.

Also, mild mania always returns to me, I just have to wait for it.

 

[sweepthefloor]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTUQDy4e8AM

[Chorus]
I never wanted to be
Some kind of comic relief
Please show me who I am
I've been tortured and scorned
Since the day that I was born
But I don't know who I am

The comedy of my own story is pretty fucking funny. It's so fucking sad you have to laugh about it because the alternative is a scary reality that I refuse to submit to.

 

[Jennifer]

I appreciate these compliments. I would welcome the affection.



I guess I feel hurt, I mean I actually cried. I cried the most because I thought it was all going to be simple and normal. I feel so violated now when I think about his tongue in my mouth. Revolting! It was stupid of me to think that I could maintain a loving relationship. My brain is broken and I don’t have the time to fix it. I accept my fate and I am not unhappy about it.


I did get the job as expected, but let’s not get too excited. I am not leaving Trauma, I am just picking up PRN shifts in an easier ICU at a different hospital.

Trauma nursing is so addicting. If I didn't have small kidlets I would be back at it. I can't manage the overnight call.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Trauma nursing is so addicting. If I didn't have small kidlets I would be back at it. I can't manage the overnight call.

It’s those good outcomes that keep us hooked. It’s watching people survive when you dare to think for one second: this is not possible. It’s not always a happy ending but the impossible happens all the time.

I just can’t leave it, but we don’t have to take call in the unit. I wouldn’t want that anxiety in my life.
Sometimes I wish I could work in the OR! The unit is a trap.

 

[gotsnowgotslush]

sweep, where are you ?

Stay warm.

It is cold in Boston, and the early commute will be messy.

 

[Ms_Ann]

Must be an out of body experience.

 

[sweepthefloor]

sweep, where are you ?

Stay warm.

It is cold in Boston, and the early commute will be messy.

oh slush lover! I am fishing four shifts a week to finance the life and my nails look pretty but my eyes look wild and tired.


The heat is on! I am still wearing the jean jacket lined with the looks like lamb on the inside. It’s not winter here yet we are blowing in the 40s most days. I think this is the year that I will buy a full length winter coat for those long walks from the parking lot to the H, come January.


I have never been to Boston, but I would like to visit the place. Maybe I will be shipping myself up to Boston one day.


I hope you cope with the winter and keep yourself warm up there.