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WTF/FUNNY Gifs, Pics, & Videos: Volume 2

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Mello_SixtyNine said:
That knife is pretty sharp. [gifv]
Click to expand...

One of my party tricks was to shave my face with a machete. It was a pre-WW2 machete made by Wilkinson Sword and kept a very sharp edge.

Until the 1970s my father used to shave himself with a cut-throat razor. He had bought it in the late 1920s and it had been one of the best available then, at a price he couldn't really afford. But he had his money's worth from it. My mother finally persuaded him to change to a safety razor because his hand wasn't as steady as it had been.
 
oggbashan said:
One of my party tricks was to shave my face with a machete. It was a pre-WW2 machete made by Wilkinson Sword and kept a very sharp edge.

Until the 1970s my father used to shave himself with a cut-throat razor. He had bought it in the late 1920s and it had been one of the best available then, at a price he couldn't really afford. But he had his money's worth from it. My mother finally persuaded him to change to a safety razor because his hand wasn't as steady as it had been.
Click to expand...

I have a set of ceramic knives that are that sharp, but my hand isn't as steady as it used to be. I'll stick with the electric and a bic.
 
Vegan single mum drinks sperm smoothies every morning to give her energy

Vegan single mum drinks sperm smoothies every morning to give her energy


https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/ad_2259753451-e1479134187983.jpg?w=748&h=668&crop=1



It’s an unconventional start to the day, but this woman swears by gulping down a smoothie every morning, with the key ingredient being… a teaspoonful of sperm.

29-year-old Tracy Kiss has been drinking the interesting concoction for the past month, saying it’s boosted both her mood and her immunity.

The mum-of-two is currently single, so harvests her sperm from her best friend – or rather, he harvests it and delivers it to her up to three times a week.

What are friends for, eh?

Tracy – who’s vegan – stores it in tubs in the fridge with the rest of her groceries.



https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/ad_2259753291.jpg?w=620&h=771&crop=1


The mum-of-two from Buckinghamshire then whizzes the batch up into a smoothie, with complementary ingredients such as bananas, seeds and almond milk.

‘I’d been feeling run down and had no energy, but now I’m full of beans and my mood has improved,’ says Tracy.

The personal trainer and qualified nutritional adviser claims that sperm contains lots of vitamins and minerals – including B12, which vegans like herself lack in their diets.
Should we all be including sperm in our diets?
It should be noted that while Tracy raves about her sperm concoctions, medical professionals would argue otherwise.

But GP Dr Sarah Jarvis advises against the use of sperm as a dietary supplement, saying that it is devoid of nutrients.

‘There is absolutely no nutritional value to semen,’ she said. ‘A better way for vegans to get extra protein would be through foods like nuts.’

Nutritional value aside for a moment, just how does this unusual ingredient alter the taste of her breakfast drink?

‘Every batch tastes different, depending on what he’s been eating,’ she reveals. ‘If he’s been drinking alcohol or eaten something particularly pungent like asparagus, I ask him to give me a heads up so I know not to drink it neat.’

‘Things like pineapple and peppermint make it taste better, but I’ll happily take it straight off a spoon usually.’



https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/ad_225975328.jpg?w=620&h=834&crop=1


Tracy says she understands it may seem off-putting – but the results are worth it.

‘People are so weird about sperm when in actual fact a teaspoon is filled with amazing goodness,’ she says.

The single mum is actually no stranger to incorporating sperm into her daily routine – she’s been slathering it on her face since last year, when she discovered it made a brilliant facial, and she now credits it for improving her complexion.

Unsurprisingly, Tracy’s friend and sperm supplier initially had qualms about being her own personal sperm machine.
This helpful Twitter account will remind you to take care of yourself

‘When I first approached him, he was concerned I’d use it to impregnate myself,’ she admits. ‘But once I’d convinced him it was for my beauty regime he agreed – after all, he has a regular supply at hand!’

As for the risks involved? ‘I know he’s healthy, doesn’t smoke, drink or do drugs and I made him have an STI check,’ she says.

‘My other mates think I’m strange, but I don’t give a toss.’

Luckily for Tracy’s pal, she’s keen to find a partner who will take over from him. After three years of being single, she is looking for love.

Her goals?

‘I want a relationship where my partner asks if I want one shot or two shots of sperm in my smoothie each morning!’

Don’t we all?

https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/ad_2259753341.jpg?w=620&h=826&crop=1

Read more: http://metro.co.uk/2016/11/14/vegan...ing-to-give-her-energy-6257252/#ixzz4QD4SPA5X
 
https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/stupidest-things-girlfriends-have-gotten-mad-at-you-about-26-photos-21.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600

https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/stupidest-things-girlfriends-have-gotten-mad-at-you-about-26-photos-23.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600

https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/stupidest-things-girlfriends-have-gotten-mad-at-you-about-26-photos-28.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600

https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/stupidest-things-girlfriends-have-gotten-mad-at-you-about-26-photos-213.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600

https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/stupidest-things-girlfriends-have-gotten-mad-at-you-about-26-photos-2.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600

https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/stupidest-things-girlfriends-have-gotten-mad-at-you-about-26-photos-223.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600

https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/stupidest-things-girlfriends-have-gotten-mad-at-you-about-26-photos-224.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600
 
I swear im nothing like this lmao xxSuexx

Mello_SixtyNine said:
https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/stupidest-things-girlfriends-have-gotten-mad-at-you-about-26-photos-21.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600

https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/stupidest-things-girlfriends-have-gotten-mad-at-you-about-26-photos-23.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600

https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/stupidest-things-girlfriends-have-gotten-mad-at-you-about-26-photos-28.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600

https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/stupidest-things-girlfriends-have-gotten-mad-at-you-about-26-photos-213.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600

https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/stupidest-things-girlfriends-have-gotten-mad-at-you-about-26-photos-2.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600

https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/stupidest-things-girlfriends-have-gotten-mad-at-you-about-26-photos-223.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600

https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/stupidest-things-girlfriends-have-gotten-mad-at-you-about-26-photos-224.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600
Click to expand...
 
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