Older men

[BeautifulBlueSky218]

I'm not sure if this thread has been made or not. To be honest with you I was very very shy to put this up and the reason is because I've never been open about this. I'm sure many other women have been in the same boat as me. As I'm getting older I tend to become more attractive to older men. The only thing is that most are married and I try to stay away from men who are married because I don't like getting involved with a man who's already taken. It seems that most older men who talk to me are all married and this bums me out. I have a very open mind and I don't just want to be with older men, I've dated men around my age as well. Been with a younger guy as well at one time. I've just been with any men who's older than I am because I'm a very quiet type of gal and tend to keep to myself. Plus I'm not the kind of woman that likes going to bar/clubs. I'm not too worried though about this as of now because I'm still young and learning about myself. Just thought I should express myself for once and get out of my shell a little bit more. lol!

 

[Trimjob69]

I'm not sure if this thread has been made or not. To be honest with you I was very very shy to put this up and the reason is because I've never been open about this. I'm sure many other women have been in the same boat as me. As I'm getting older I tend to become more attractive to older men. The only thing is that most are married and I try to stay away from men who are married because I don't like getting involved with a man who's already taken. It seems that most older men who talk to me are all married and this bums me out. I have a very open mind and I don't just want to be with older men, I've dated men around my age as well. Been with a younger guy as well at one time. I've just been with any men who's older than I am because I'm a very quiet type of gal and tend to keep to myself. Plus I'm not the kind of woman that likes going to bar/clubs. I'm not too worried though about this as of now because I'm still young and learning about myself. Just thought I should express myself for once and get out of my shell a little bit more. lol!

As an older man...thank you

 

[bgdick68]

Thirty something

You are older, but that only means older than twenty. I could tell you what older really is, and you aren't it.

 

[frmtutanota]

I'm not sure if this thread has been made or not. To be honest with you I was very very shy to put this up and the reason is because I've never been open about this. I'm sure many other women have been in the same boat as me. As I'm getting older I tend to become more attractive to older men. The only thing is that most are married and I try to stay away from men who are married because I don't like getting involved with a man who's already taken. It seems that most older men who talk to me are all married and this bums me out. I have a very open mind and I don't just want to be with older men, I've dated men around my age as well. Been with a younger guy as well at one time. I've just been with any men who's older than I am because I'm a very quiet type of gal and tend to keep to myself. Plus I'm not the kind of woman that likes going to bar/clubs. I'm not too worried though about this as of now because I'm still young and learning about myself. Just thought I should express myself for once and get out of my shell a little bit more. lol!

I'm glad you're expressing yourself. I find the idea very sexy, especially if being 48 qualifies me as older. I would very much enjoy something like that with a beautiful younger woman

 

[Hipshot1554]

Don't worry too much. You have plenty of time to figure things out.

 

[cokedoutdad]

Wanna kik? Older man

 

[RacyWilde]

I'm not sure if this thread has been made or not. To be honest with you I was very very shy to put this up and the reason is because I've never been open about this. I'm sure many other women have been in the same boat as me. As I'm getting older I tend to become more attractive to older men. The only thing is that most are married and I try to stay away from men who are married because I don't like getting involved with a man who's already taken. It seems that most older men who talk to me are all married and this bums me out. I have a very open mind and I don't just want to be with older men, I've dated men around my age as well. Been with a younger guy as well at one time. I've just been with any men who's older than I am because I'm a very quiet type of gal and tend to keep to myself. Plus I'm not the kind of woman that likes going to bar/clubs. I'm not too worried though about this as of now because I'm still young and learning about myself. Just thought I should express myself for once and get out of my shell a little bit more. lol!

You mentioned being opening minded so…

Yes, the older a man is, the more likely he will be married, it’s just the way it is. And if you find a single man, chances are he has already been married and is now divorced. There aren’t many men that don’t get married. But, not all married men are off limits. For example, in the BDSM world many couples have open marriages. I know there are many Doms that have subs who aren’t their wives and their wives are okay with that. Likewise, in a BDSM life, I’d say more wives are open to different partners.

I’m guessing you don’t consider married men an option because you don’t like cheaters. The important thing to remember is that your idea of cheating is different to other people’s idea. It’s up the couple, not society, to agree on their boundaries for cheating. Sometimes cheating means just looking at another woman/man, sometimes it means falling with their heart and mind, and sometimes it means sexual relations. Every couple is different and set different guidelines for their marriage. It’s not up to anyone else to judge whether one of the couple is cheating or not. It’s not fair to judge people by your own guidelines.

The other thing is, most of us have to live in a monogamous society that frowns upon openness, however, many people by-heart are not monogamous. Take me, for example, I’m not monogamous. And even though I might engage in a relationship with a single man/woman, it doesn’t mean I devalue it by wanting another lover. For me, it is like the same reason people have more than one child. When you have one child, you love them so much, and you want your love to extend, so you decide to have another. When a second child comes along, your love doesn’t divide or diminish for the first child, instead your love not only grows, but magnifies. People have an amazing capacity to love. And some people, like myself become more happy and vibrant when they have a circle of lovers. How can loving more than one person ever be bad or inappropriate?

 

[Erodicus]

You mentioned being opening minded so…

Yes, the older a man is, the more likely he will be married, it’s just the way it is. And if you find a single man, chances are he has already been married and is now divorced. There aren’t many men that don’t get married. But, not all married men are off limits. For example, in the BDSM world many couples have open marriages. I know there are many Doms that have subs who aren’t their wives and their wives are okay with that. Likewise, in a BDSM life, I’d say more wives are open to different partners.

I’m guessing you don’t consider married men an option because you don’t like cheaters. The important thing to remember is that your idea of cheating is different to other people’s idea. It’s up the couple, not society, to agree on their boundaries for cheating. Sometimes cheating means just looking at another woman/man, sometimes it means falling with their heart and mind, and sometimes it means sexual relations. Every couple is different and set different guidelines for their marriage. It’s not up to anyone else to judge whether one of the couple is cheating or not. It’s not fair to judge people by your own guidelines.

The other thing is, most of us have to live in a monogamous society that frowns upon openness, however, many people by-heart are not monogamous. Take me, for example, I’m not monogamous. And even though I might engage in a relationship with a single man/woman, it doesn’t mean I devalue it by wanting another lover. For me, it is like the same reason people have more than one child. When you have one child, you love them so much, and you want your love to extend, so you decide to have another. When a second child comes along, your love doesn’t divide or diminish for the first child, instead your love not only grows, but magnifies. People have an amazing capacity to love. And some people, like myself become more happy and vibrant when they have a circle of lovers. How can loving more than one person ever be bad or inappropriate?

A well presented case. You have put into words what many of us think and believe.

 

[klippert]

You're over think this...Good choice to avoid the Married men.

 

[Greyhalm]

Don,t write off Married men to quickly!

I remember when I was 50 l had a 19 year old assistant assigned to me. Within a month she told me she wanted to have sex with me. I refused being married but this did not stop me playing games and teasing her. She would at my request remove her panties in the office and walk around without them. I also masturbated into her panties and made her wear them. I would send her to the toilet to take photos of her pussy for me. She would come in my office and show me her 38D breasts and try and entice me. We watched porn together. Alone in the lift l asked her to put her finger in her pussy so l could taste her. She also masturbated in front of me.

Years later when she was 22/23 we met and she said she respected me for not sleeping with her being the only man to refuse but found our games very sexy and she would never forget me. PIV is not everything and only older men know this.

 

[Green_Knight]

You mentioned being opening minded so…

Yes, the older a man is, the more likely he will be married, it’s just the way it is. And if you find a single man, chances are he has already been married and is now divorced. There aren’t many men that don’t get married. But, not all married men are off limits. For example, in the BDSM world many couples have open marriages. I know there are many Doms that have subs who aren’t their wives and their wives are okay with that. Likewise, in a BDSM life, I’d say more wives are open to different partners.

I’m guessing you don’t consider married men an option because you don’t like cheaters. The important thing to remember is that your idea of cheating is different to other people’s idea. It’s up the couple, not society, to agree on their boundaries for cheating. Sometimes cheating means just looking at another woman/man, sometimes it means falling with their heart and mind, and sometimes it means sexual relations. Every couple is different and set different guidelines for their marriage. It’s not up to anyone else to judge whether one of the couple is cheating or not. It’s not fair to judge people by your own guidelines.

The other thing is, most of us have to live in a monogamous society that frowns upon openness, however, many people by-heart are not monogamous. Take me, for example, I’m not monogamous. And even though I might engage in a relationship with a single man/woman, it doesn’t mean I devalue it by wanting another lover. For me, it is like the same reason people have more than one child. When you have one child, you love them so much, and you want your love to extend, so you decide to have another. When a second child comes along, your love doesn’t divide or diminish for the first child, instead your love not only grows, but magnifies. People have an amazing capacity to love. And some people, like myself become more happy and vibrant when they have a circle of lovers. How can loving more than one person ever be bad or inappropriate?

You make a good case but for one missing element and that's the "other man/woman" question. The risk with starting a relationship with a committed person is that you come off second best.

I've been in that situation – on both sides of the equation at different times. There's all sorts of downsides to it. Sitting at home, waiting for the phone call that never comes because hubby's hanging around. Having to fit in with her (and hubby's) social calendar if there's to be any chance of you meeting up. Seeing her go off on holiday with him and having a lovely time, leaving you to holiday as a single.

Basically, if you get involved with a committed person, their life will continue much as before (but with added benefits) while yours will become totally tied down to theirs. I think that BeautifulBlueSky's very sensible to avoid all that. Your thirties are are too important a time to waste in that sort of situation.

 

[RacyWilde]

You make a good case but for one missing element and that's the "other man/woman" question. The risk with starting a relationship with a committed person is that you come off second best.

I've been in that situation – on both sides of the equation at different times. There's all sorts of downsides to it. Sitting at home, waiting for the phone call that never comes because hubby's hanging around. Having to fit in with her (and hubby's) social calendar if there's to be any chance of you meeting up. Seeing her go off on holiday with him and having a lovely time, leaving you to holiday as a single.

Basically, if you get involved with a committed person, their life will continue much as before (but with added benefits) while yours will become totally tied down to theirs. I think that BeautifulBlueSky's very sensible to avoid all that. Your thirties are are too important a time to waste in that sort of situation.

Well, that just sounds tragic. Basically, you are still describing a monogamous relationship here - the 'man in the middle' might have two partners, but the ‘other woman' has only one still and has latched on - that is NOT what I’m suggesting here. Don’t ever put yourself in that situation - as that is still a monogamous ideology/relationship. Blah.

"Sitting around waiting" and "being second" best NEVER happens when you're truly polyamorous. If one person is not available, there is no hard feelings as you’ll have another ten who might be. You live your own life––you don’t rely on your partners to live.

The relationship that you described above seems very dependant to me, whereas in my experience polyamorous relationships give you the freedom to explore intimacies without dependancy - you don’t get emotionally stuck on one person. But yes, being polyamorous, you connect deeply with your lovers, even on a spiritual level - and it’s beautiful and intense - but there is no “ownership”, no claim - you are both free radicals enjoying the now.

The one thing about polyamorous relationships is that a long future isn’t expected (though it can be hoped for) and that’s what makes them so beautiful to me. They can be fleeting, yes, but oh so rewarding at the same time. And if they do become long lasting, the growth and comfort experienced nurtures you just as much, (and sometimes even more) than a relationship that is locked into monogamy.

For example, I broke up with one of my intensely committed relationships, and I was hurting so much, but because I had other lovers, I found great comfort in them. They have guided and supported me through the hard time – each one giving me a special something to create a holistic healing experience and as such I’ve healed in record time, thanks to them.

The most important thing about open relationships is that ALL parties are aware of the others (I don't mean know them by name, but at least know they exist), and their wants and needs are taken into consideration when creating such relationships. For example, all my Kik fuck buddies are aware I am not monogamous. I tell them straight up before we start getting intimate so they can make an informed decision on whether or not to continue building a relationship with me. They know too that I tend to ‘fuck and run’ and not to expect anything further. But, it just so happens that I often connect with some and we have become friends/lovers. There have also been a few who have wanted to have a monogamous relationship, but even though I liked them a lot, we parted ways because we both wanted different things. I know better than to get involved, as a polyamorous person, with a monogamous person.

So if you are looking for monogamy, it will be hard on your heart if you have a relationship with a poly.

**But one thing to remember - relationships are organic, they don't stay the same. You might start off with a poly person then all of a sudden their needs might change... even to monogamy. It's a risk we all take... but to love is truly brave.

 

[frmtutanota]

Sounds like this quickly went to the far too complicated to be worth a shit

 

[HesterP]

I think it depends on what age you consider to be older. I think most married men in their 40's and early 50's have families, etc. and I would not want to get involved. I did get involved with a married man who was 65 and it worked very well. His wife simply was not into sex so he was very grateful to get laid once in awhile.

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Dollie

As a much older woman who recently moved from NW Florida after many years there I can tell you there are many lonely single older men out there just looking for companionship.
Think about it, like us, they were married and moved to paradise. The wife died and left them mostly alone and lonely.
Dress nice, maybe a little seductively. Shop, go out to eat. Visit old guys in parks, flea markets, and along trails. Believe me it's not that hard for an older woman to meet nice older men.

Also what Hester wrote. It worked for me and I'm married.

 

[RacyWilde]

Sounds like this quickly went to the far too complicated to be worth a shit

Yes, only some like it intellectually stimulating, but I also find those are the keepers too