Honorary Doctor of Erotica Degree

[SusanJillParker]

Well except...I am not a male. I am very much female, I had 8 kids with my now ex husband.

I was abused for 40+years by my mother, and I use the word mother in regards to her very lightly. Still to this day as an adult woman and mother, my mom can make me feel like a damn useless, worthless baby! My whole childhood was a constant mindfuck by her, and she still figures out ways to put me in my place, or what she thinks my place should be.

I was in therapy for years, and also saw a psych Dr so I could get meds, but now am without insurance so no therapy or psych for me. So like you, writing is my therapy. A little escape from my now fucked up brain.

Awww no, how can one choose a story as the best? They're like children and you can't have a best or favorite one!

Laurel makes that decision which story she believes if the best. Of the 75,000 authors writing her, 99% of them have never received a Green E. They're very rare.

Being that you were abused too, you know what it's like. I was an alcoholic by the time I was 20 and since I was put in detox, I haven't had a drink in more than 20 years.

I dropped out of high school at 16 and moved out at 17. Instead of turning to alcohol, drugs, and/or suicide, I was one of the lucky ones. I earned my GED and then earned my BS in English with Literotica and Creative Writing minors by attending night school full-time, through the summers, at Northeastern University in Boston while working full-time. Five years later, I graduated magna cum laude with a 3.65 gpa. I'm proud of that accomplishment.

My biggest upset was my rage. From out of nowhere, I had a violent temper. I was so mad. I was so angry. I was so depressed. Now that I know why I had such anger, rage, and depression I'm able to get that under control most days.

I refused to take any mind altering drugs. More than one doctor was willing to prescribe Prozac for my depression. Instead, I fought through my bad days by reading, exercising, playing my music, and writing.

Then, being that my perceptions were already twisted by being emotionally, physically, and sexually abused a such a young age, I fell in love with man who I thought was the love of my life, that is until he beat me when he came home drunk one night.

He worked as a Boston undercover cop. An ex-Army Ranger with a 5th degree black belt in Judo, he knew where and how to hit me to not show a bruise. He was a drunk. Obviously, he was abused too.

I divorced him after three years. I stayed because I wanted a baby. We fucked like rabbits trying to get me pregnant. Then, after we signed the divorce papers, this miserable piece of shit told me that he had a vasectomy just before we were married. If I had a gun, I would have shot him.

As if we have a sign on our foreheads, it's not just one man, it's never just one man who takes advantage of us. Writing has really helped me to stay focused. Then, when I receive comments and e-mails from some of the lowlifes that are out there, I'm now able to better handle it.

Thank you for your post.

 

[sr71plt]

I do always wonder though, why would you use the name of someone that abused you? I can't wrap my brain around that to make it make any sort of sense. My mother is a sour cunt and I don't associate myself with her at all, certainly would never use her name.

Freddie (currently calling himself Susan) is a performance artist. Don't expect anything to be consistent or hold up to scrutiny. Also, don't expect any moral compass from him that would prevent him from going into a topic with both feet (the family abuse one at the moment) with false garbage when there are readers genuinely affected by what he's so cavalierly playing with.

The one thing you can concede to him is that he's a good and prolific fantasy writer (hence the Green Es). Some of his more over-the-top fantasy writing is on the forum, though. It's entertaining, at least at first, but eventually the insidious and pathetic nature of it shines through.

 

[Jay321]

I was an alcoholic by the time I was 20 and since I was put in detox, I haven't had a drink in more than 20 years.

I dropped out of high school at 16 and moved out at 17. Instead of turning to alcohol, drugs, and/or suicide, I was one of the lucky ones. I earned my GED and then earned my BS in English with Literotica and Creative Writing minors by attending night school full-time, through the summers, at Northeastern University in Boston while working full-time. Five years later, I graduated magna cum laude with a 3.65 gpa. I'm proud of that accomplishment.

Question #1. you were an alcoholic but you did not turn to alcohol or drugs? Please help me with that.

Question #2. how did you graduate magna cum laude when you did not meet the requirements for magna cum laude?


Quote from Northeaster University website: "undergraduate students need a GPA of 3.5 to 3.69 to graduate cum laude, 3.7 to 3.849 to graduate magna cum laude, and 3.85 to 4.0 for summa cum laude."

Question #3. there is a collage course for "English with Literotica"? Where can I sign up? Sorry, two questions there.

Yes, Freddie, if you say so.

Question #5. TxRad, are you one of Freddie's secret alts?

 

[CoffeeWithMonkeys]

Question #1. you were an alcoholic but you did not turn to alcohol or drugs? Please help me with that.

I was so trying to figure that out too, but really was trying to stay out of any sort of drama.

Also wondering why here in the first post it says 'Along with the honorary degree and my free trip to Disney World, I was given a $25,000 cash award along with my choice of a 2017 Ford Mustang GT or a Mini Cooper S convertible. I'm going with the Mustang, of course, orange with black racing stripes, black wheels, Recaro seats, and a six-speed manual transmission.' but now the OP has posted on the board looking for help in buying a new/used car.

 

[Jay321]

I was so trying to figure that out too, but really was trying to stay out of any sort of drama.

Also wondering why here in the first post it says 'Along with the honorary degree and my free trip to Disney World, I was given a $25,000 cash award along with my choice of a 2017 Ford Mustang GT or a Mini Cooper S convertible. I'm going with the Mustang, of course, orange with black racing stripes, black wheels, Recaro seats, and a six-speed manual transmission.' but now the OP has posted on the board looking for help in buying a new/used car.

I took the OP as a desperate vie for attention and really only skimmed over it. The only reason I opened it again was that when I saw it I thought "Why is this bullshit two pages?" And now here I am and I have contributed two posts to it. I must now find an appropriate act of contrition.

 

[sr71plt]

I was so trying to figure that out too, but really was trying to stay out of any sort of drama.

Also wondering why here in the first post it says 'Along with the honorary degree and my free trip to Disney World, I was given a $25,000 cash award along with my choice of a 2017 Ford Mustang GT or a Mini Cooper S convertible. I'm going with the Mustang, of course, orange with black racing stripes, black wheels, Recaro seats, and a six-speed manual transmission.' but now the OP has posted on the board looking for help in buying a new/used car.

Well, if you'd been around to read Freddie's claim that someone sent him an anonymous check for $5,000 because other writers had ganged up on him to keep him from winning the survivor's contest here one year, you'd have learned by now just to filter all of that Freddie nonsense out. (Incidentally, I do believe the other writers ganged up on him in that contest--by pooling stories to beat his total. They did so because he was being such an insufferable whiny asshat during the contest--and the contests that followed until the contest was just dropped to be rid of his crap.)

An anonymous $5,000 check for not winning a Lit. contest?

 

[CoffeeWithMonkeys]

Well, if you'd been around to read Freddie's claim that someone sent him an anonymous check for $5,000 because other writers had ganged up on him to keep him from winning the survivor's contest here one year, you'd have learned by now just to filter all of that Freddie nonsense out. (Incidentally, I do believe the other writers ganged up on him in that contest--by pooling stories to beat his total. They did so because he was being such an insufferable whiny asshat during the contest--and the contests that followed until the contest was just dropped to be rid of his crap.)

An anonymous $5,000 check for not winning a Lit. contest?

I have a cousin that is a perpetual liar. I don't think she knows how to tell the truth ever. I learned to filter out bullshit a long time ago.
LOL!! It gets to the point of 'do they still believe this bullshit they spew'?

I've decided they have all that stuff listed as their signature to help them keep track of what they've said here.

Dammit I never win contests! I want a check for not winning

 

[SusanJillParker]

Question #1. you were an alcoholic but you did not turn to alcohol or drugs? Please help me with that.

Question #2. how did you graduate magna cum laude when you did not meet the requirements for magna cum laude?


Quote from Northeaster University website: "undergraduate students need a GPA of 3.5 to 3.69 to graduate cum laude, 3.7 to 3.849 to graduate magna cum laude, and 3.85 to 4.0 for summa cum laude."

Question #3. there is a collage course for "English with Literotica"? Where can I sign up? Sorry, two questions there.



Question #5. TxRad, are you one of Freddie's secret alts?

Yes, I was an alcoholic early in life from 14 to 20. After that, I never abused alcohol again. I never took drugs or fell into stripping and prostitution in the way my mother did. She was abused too.

Perhaps, Northeastern changed their grading. I graduated a while ago (lol). Perhaps the grading system is different in day school than it is in night school. I have no idea.

My diploma reads magna cum laude. My gpa was 3.65.

I was an English major with English Literature and Creative Writing minors. I only needed to take 5 writing courses to satisfy my English major. I took 32, all they had but for technical writing and business writing.

How did I do with the lie detector test (lol)? Did I pass?

My biggest compliment was when I made my creative writing professor cry after he read my final exam paper in creative writing. He came bounding in the next class, a Charles Dickens class holding my paper up over his head. I recognized my paper because it was in a blue folder.

"I just read the best short story in my 30 years of teaching," he said.

Then, when he saw me sitting in back of the room, he said, "But it wasn't from anyone in this class. It was from a business major," he said tucking the paper away.

 

[SusanJillParker]

Well, if you'd been around to read Freddie's claim that someone sent him an anonymous check for $5,000 because other writers had ganged up on him to keep him from winning the survivor's contest here one year, you'd have learned by now just to filter all of that Freddie nonsense out. (Incidentally, I do believe the other writers ganged up on him in that contest--by pooling stories to beat his total. They did so because he was being such an insufferable whiny asshat during the contest--and the contests that followed until the contest was just dropped to be rid of his crap.)

An anonymous $5,000 check for not winning a Lit. contest?

Actually, the check was for $4,000 and not $5,000. I found out much later, when the man sent me a note that it was from the grandson of one of the Hunt Brothers. They tried to corner the silver market back in the '80's. The movie Trading Places with Eddie Murphy, Dan Aykroyd and Jamie Curtis was adapted from that.

It doesn't matter if you believe me or not, Pretend Pilot. Not everyone pretends that they flew SR71 fighter planes at a time when there was no such policy as Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

Sorry, but you're a gay man and back then, when you supposedly served in Viet Nam, they'd never allow you near such and aircraft.

Thank you for complimenting my writing, however, and thank you for your post. If anyone needs to tell the truth, it's you.

Dr. Susan Jill Parker

 

[SusanJillParker]

I took the OP as a desperate vie for attention and really only skimmed over it. The only reason I opened it again was that when I saw it I thought "Why is this bullshit two pages?" And now here I am and I have contributed two posts to it. I must now find an appropriate act of contrition.

Come closer to the screen. I don't want everyone to hear. Are you ready?

Perhaps you've never heard of it because of the stick that you have up your ass but what I wrote is called...humor. Did you ever hear of that word?

Also, what I wrote is fiction, creative fiction. Obviously, you don't write fiction. Obviously, you're a non-fiction, encyclopedia kind of guy. Am I right? You must be a Virgo like Todd, Sr71pretendpilot.

Thank you for you post.

Dr. Susan Jill Parker

 

[SusanJillParker]

I have a cousin that is a perpetual liar. I don't think she knows how to tell the truth ever. I learned to filter out bullshit a long time ago.
LOL!! It gets to the point of 'do they still believe this bullshit they spew'?

I've decided they have all that stuff listed as their signature to help them keep track of what they've said here.

Dammit I never win contests! I want a check for not winning

Feel free to check the contests that I've won.

I won Survivor contest 3 times, 2011, 2013, and 2014. Each win paid $500.

I came in second 3 times, 2007, 2008, and 2010. Each win paid $250.

I finished 3rd twice in 2012 and 2015. The 2012 win paid $200 and the 2015 win paid a gift card.

Is there anything else that I may help you understand that I don't lie and I don't have to exaggerate.

Thank you for your post.

Dr. Susan Jill Parker

 

[OliviaM]

[deleted by user - tempting, but nah]

 

[lovecraft68]

Come closer to the screen. I don't want everyone to hear. Are you ready?

Perhaps you've never heard of it because of the stick that you have up your ass but what I wrote is called...humor. Did you ever hear of that word?

Also, what I wrote is fiction, creative fiction. Obviously, you don't write fiction. Obviously, you're a non-fiction, encyclopedia kind of guy. Am I right? You must be a Virgo like Todd, Sr71pretendpilot.

Thank you for you post.

Dr. Susan Jill Parker

So going on and on about being raped and abused is humor? Pardon all of us for not recognizing it.

 

[hadruprider]

I had been wondering what the point of the "add user to ignore list" button was. Now I understand.

 

[SusanJillParker]

So going on and on about being raped and abused is humor? Pardon all of us for not recognizing it.

That's okay. I never expected you to understand anything because you'll always be an insensitive little prick.

I just hope to God that your children never have to go through what I've gone through because with such a moron of a father, they'll be doomed.

 

[Jay321]

As a general rule, I take the "Don't feed the trolls" stance when it comes to online forums. Some reason, either you struck a nerve or just the mood I am today, I went against that policy.

Yes, I was an alcoholic early in life from 14 to 20. After that, I never abused alcohol again. I never took drugs or fell into stripping and prostitution in the way my mother did. She was abused too.

I read this as "Oh, shit, I got my lies wrong. Here is the right lie."

Perhaps, Northeastern changed their grading. I graduated a while ago (lol). Perhaps the grading system is different in day school than it is in night school. I have no idea.

My diploma reads magna cum laude. My gpa was 3.65.

Maybe. I'll give you this one. Mainly because I don't feel like researching this one. But it does raise a question:

I was an English major with English Literature and Creative Writing minors. I only needed to take 5 writing courses to satisfy my English major. I took 32, all they had but for technical writing and business writing.

How did I do with the lie detector test (lol)? Did I pass?

My biggest compliment was when I made my creative writing professor cry after he read my final exam paper in creative writing. He came bounding in the next class, a Charles Dickens class holding my paper up over his head. I recognized my paper because it was in a blue folder.

"I just read the best short story in my 30 years of teaching," he said.

Then, when he saw me sitting in back of the room, he said, "But it wasn't from anyone in this class. It was from a business major," he said tucking the paper away.

Business or English Lit Major? Oh, sorry, I forgot. both. Now he "bound" into class after your professor cried over your story, only for him to decide that the only story in the world ever put in a blue folder wasn't written by anyone in his class. [\b](the tags aren't working for some reason in this one spot.)

Perhaps you've never heard of it because of the stick that you have up your ass but what I wrote is called...humor. Did you ever hear of that word?

Also, what I wrote is fiction, creative fiction. Obviously, you don't write fiction. Obviously, you're a non-fiction, encyclopedia kind of guy. Am I right? You must be a Virgo like Todd, Sr71pretendpilot.

Thank you for you post.

Dr. Susan Jill Parker

I knew it was fiction. I know most of what you write is fiction, on the boards or the stories.

There are people on the board that had wrote it I would have taken it as humor. That list has Lovecraft, TxRad, (I hope you took my joke about being an alt as a joke like I meant it) SR71PILOT (thank you for your service BTW) and a few others, but definitely not you. You beg, crave, probably need attention to survive.

One last thing, Doctor, I am a cancer, whatever that means to you.

OK, I'm off to feed one more troll before the mood leaves me...

 

[SusanJillParker]

It makes sense to me now.

You are a cancer.

 

[sr71plt]

So we now get a two-pager on your cancer, Freddie?

 

[lovecraft68]

So we now get a two-pager on your cancer, Freddie?

Don't give him any ideas, the faux rape and abuse stories aren't getting him anywhere, next he'll be a cancer survivor.

 

[sr71plt]

Don't give him any ideas, the faux rape and abuse stories aren't getting him anywhere, next he'll be a cancer survivor.

Oh, no, he'll go further than that. He will have died from it but been resuscitated and cured because Bill Gates sent a check to speed up cancer (and beyond near-death experiences) research just to save Freddie. He'll drive away in his 1967 Mustang, looking for a car to drive because he doesn't have one. Oh, and of course he'll be wearing a dress.

 

[Jay321]

It makes sense to me now.

You are a cancer.

well that makes one of us.

 

[lovecraft68]

Oh, no, he'll go further than that. He will have died from it but been resuscitated and cured because Bill Gates sent a check to speed up cancer (and beyond near-death experiences) research just to save Freddie. He'll drive away in his 1967 Mustang, looking for a car to drive because he doesn't have one. Oh, and of course he'll be wearing a dress.

I think you should expound on that a little more and put it in humor and satire. After all, Freddie is all about humor.