Anonymouty and letting your guard down in a Ds online relationship

[xxxSubSamxxx]

Anonymity and letting your guard down in a Ds online relationship

I am single, and pretty much let my guard down at the point where I feel comfortable to instant message. I then reveal a face shot and my full name.

1. Do you let your guard down this soon?
2. Do you prefer to be anonymous for longer?
3. Why do you choose to be anonymous when it's at the stage of playing online?

Sam xx

 

[cookiecat]

Be guarded. Why give your full name? Is that necessary? Is he giving you his??

It depends on your goal. Do you plan to meet? If not, why give anything away?

Give only what he is willing to give you. Pics and video pn the internet are forever. Information stored on a phone or computer are there for others to.find.

 

[cookiecat]

I will add that the best online relationship I had was one where we never knew each others real names. We didn't cam. It was all phone or IM. We had no intention to meet. We didnt trade sexy time pics for over a year. Even then, the pictures were limited.

He did such a good job of getting in my head with just his words. We had great vanilla conversations, we got to know each other really well just by talking. His voice was in my head all the time.

 

[xxxSubSamxxx]

Be guarded. Why give your full name? Is that necessary? Is he giving you his??

It depends on your goal. Do you plan to meet? If not, why give anything away?

Give only what he is willing to give you. Pics and video pn the internet are forever. Information stored on a phone or computer are there for others to.find.

Good point perhaps I should use a new anonymous skype account. I suppose there is the risk of blackmail and more. Thanks.

Sam xx

 

[xxxSubSamxxx]

I will add that the best online relationship I had was one where we never knew each others real names. We didn't cam. It was all phone or IM. We had no intention to meet. We didnt trade sexy time pics for over a year. Even then, the pictures were limited.

He did such a good job of getting in my head with just his words. We had great vanilla conversations, we got to know each other really well just by talking. His voice was in my head all the time.

That's an interesting experience. Thank you cookiecat xx

 

[cookiecat]

Good point perhaps I should use a new anonymous skype account. I suppose there is the risk of blackmail and more. Thanks.

Sam xx

I think most people are pretty honest. It just takes one crazy person though.

My advice comes from experience. I was monkeying around online with a married man. I was single. This was over six years ago. His kid found our conversations. His wife got involved. She continues to stalk my social media accounts, she used to call and she still.emails me. Six years later.

Just be careful.

 

[MastersDelight]

Good point perhaps I should use a new anonymous skype account. I suppose there is the risk of blackmail and more. Thanks.

Sam xx

I've heard where women had video chatted for sexy fun time. It was recorded and posted on a webcam site where patrons paid to watch. It's a fairly common scam.

Use caution.

I try to stick to messaging here or on kik, which I've only ever given out to one Lister. I don't Skype, or give out my number, and I have an email specifically for Lit. I have given my first name, no one needs to know your full name. And in the event that they try to find me on facebook my security is set up so that my profile doesn't appear in a search unless we have mutual friends.

 

[SheLikes2Watch]

I am married, and all my encounters are virtual, and I never share my face or real name.

But I don't know that I would share those even if I were single - misuse of those could ruin my life.

While most people may not be malicious, you don't know who is until it's too late.

 

[SensualSam]

.....

 

[RoseNPetals]

I am single, and pretty much let my guard down at the point where I feel comfortable to instant message. I then reveal a face shot and my full name.

1. Do you let your guard down this soon?
2. Do you prefer to be anonymous for longer?
3. Why do you choose to be anonymous when it's at the stage of playing online?

Sam xx

I agree with cookiecat as well.

1- I'm big on instinct. What does your gut say?
2-Yes. I see no reason to give out my full legal name. I give out my city (since I have friends that span time zones), but that's about it.
3- Comfort. Trust takes years to build and let's face it: the chance of an online encounter lasting more than a few weeks can be slim.

 

[xxxSubSamxxx]

I've heard where women had video chatted for sexy fun time. It was recorded and posted on a webcam site where patrons paid to watch. It's a fairly common scam.

Use caution.

I try to stick to messaging here or on kik, which I've only ever given out to one Lister. I don't Skype, or give out my number, and I have an email specifically for Lit. I have given my first name, no one needs to know your full name. And in the event that they try to find me on facebook my security is set up so that my profile doesn't appear in a search unless we have mutual friends.

Thanks for this advice, I tried to sign up for Yahoo messenger but it doesn't seem to accept current emails, and I will probably forget a new yahoo email account. I have had KIK before, it's easy to set up and easy to be anonymous too.

Might try that.

Sam xx

 

[xxxSubSamxxx]

I am married, and all my encounters are virtual, and I never share my face or real name.

But I don't know that I would share those even if I were single - misuse of those could ruin my life.

While most people may not be malicious, you don't know who is until it's too late.

Yes good point. Thanks for joining the thread xx

 

[xxxSubSamxxx]

I do tend to be open and give out personal details and pics fairly early on to someone I trust, but then again, at the risk of sounding sexist, I believe that women are more at risk of online abuse, and should probably take more precautions. I'd go with Cookiecat's wise words.

So I take it you're a male Sam lol, yes I am female, and I agree the probability of a man taking advantage of a woman is more likely than a woman taking advantage of a man, but men take advantage of men too, and pretend to be women xx

 

[xxxSubSamxxx]

I agree with cookiecat as well.

1- I'm big on instinct. What does your gut say?
2-Yes. I see no reason to give out my full legal name. I give out my city (since I have friends that span time zones), but that's about it.
3- Comfort. Trust takes years to build and let's face it: the chance of an online encounter lasting more than a few weeks can be slim.

I trusted my husband of 15 years and he betrayed me badly, so trusting online guys is probably a silly thing to do. I have faith in human nature and don't want my past to cloud my future. But being sensible should be a priority xx

 

[SensualSam]

.....

 

[xxxSubSamxxx]

I have signed up for yahoo messenger, but I can't seem to get going. Anyone know where my screen name is?

Do I need to create a fake email account if I want to stay anonymous or can I use my existing email?

 

[SensualSam]

.....

 

[xxxSubSamxxx]

I don't use yahoo messenger, so can't help with the first question, but you should certainly be able to use your existing e-mail without revealing it when you chat. Here's some useful info from the Yahoo help pages regarding anonymity and safety:

"Use an alias. An alias can be used in place of you real Yahoo ID when you IM with people. To use an alias, open the Send As pull-down menu on the bottom of the screen before typing a message. If you don’t have an alias, you can create one by selecting My Profiles on the Messenger menu and following the instructions to Create/Edit My Profiles. An alias without any personally identifiable information is best. For example, instead of "tedjones1992dallas," try something more generic like "bluesky50.""

They also suggest using an avatar rather than a real photo of yourself.

Thanks for the advice, I tried that and don't even have a send as option. I might have a different app all the help options don't seem to apply to me and I am using the laptop app and the iPhone app

 

[oOMinxOo]

I will add that the best online relationship I had was one where we never knew each others real names. We didn't cam. It was all phone or IM. We had no intention to meet. We didnt trade sexy time pics for over a year. Even then, the pictures were limited.

He did such a good job of getting in my head with just his words. We had great vanilla conversations, we got to know each other really well just by talking. His voice was in my head all the time.

This.

I also find that someone in the same personal situation is typically best. Then we both have the same to lose.

I think it must vary, but for me I would much rather have someone get in my head rather than demand photos from me all the time.

I have no problem using my face and first name. I am open to phone calls through various apps after I feel an actual connection is established. The same for video calls.

 

[Farawyn]

You mean giving out my SS# was wrong?

I go by instinct. A few people here know where I live, my full name, my FB, I've talked with on the phone, and have seen various body parts and *gasp* my face was attached!!! Whatever, blah de blah.

I've been friends with online peeps for years, and have met most of them. My kids have even met a few.
We are just people, folks.

The ones I don't really trust or want to get to know better don't get past Lit, or KIK.

There have been a couple of times I misjudged character or intention of another person. Luckily, I was able to cut it off without worrying about someone tapping on my kitchen window.

 

[Farawyn]

Oh, I was talking online in general.
In a sexual/romantic/D/s relationship?
I haven't had an online relationship like that where I felt like anything bad was gonna happen.
I just never got involved like that without having trust.

 

[cookiecat]

I have signed up for yahoo messenger, but I can't seem to get going. Anyone know where my screen name is?

Do I need to create a fake email account if I want to stay anonymous or can I use my existing email?

Yes, create a fake email account. You can create as many as you want. Set one up that's subsamxxx@yahoo or whatever.

I think - as Farawyn says - if you have good instinct and have been online in different groups for a long time, you'll be fine.

However, my sense is you're pretty new to this. You're having issues setting up a yahoo account. Maybe it's the new yahoo messenger or that you're on the phone?? You aren't sure if you can set up a fake email account. Of course you can!

Just be a little more careful until you really get a sense of people.

 

[CutieMouse]

Food for thought-

I have a friend I initially met through an OKCupid ad, who happens to also be on Fet. Nice guy; we grab dinner once a month or so.

He work in IT, and all he needed to find my date of birth, full name & address was my first name, Fet profile picture and phone number. He had all of that information before we even met for drinks the first time, just because I gave him my # in case something came up and he had to cancel. I figured a text was quicker/easier than email through OKC or Fet.

Guess who got a HUGE lecture about internet safety the first time we had drinks?

We've been having monthly dinners for almost 3 years now. I still don't know his last name, or what suburb he lives in, and the# I have that we text in is a Google phone# that is tied to a throw away email account he uses for Fet & dating. Dude is waaaaaaaaay smarter about online anything than I am; I'm lucky he isn't an ax murderer . lol

 

[Farawyn]

Food for thought-

I have a friend I initially met through an OKCupid ad, who happens to also be on Fet. Nice guy; we grab dinner once a month or so.

He work in IT, and all he needed to find my date of birth, full name & address was my first name, Fet profile picture and phone number. He had all of that information before we even met for drinks the first time, just because I gave him my # in case something came up and he had to cancel. I figured a text was quicker/easier than email through OKC or Fet.

Guess who got a HUGE lecture about internet safety the first time we had drinks?

We've been having monthly dinners for almost 3 years now. I still don't know his last name, or what suburb he lives in, and the# I have that we text in is a Google phone# that is tied to a throw away email account he uses for Fet & dating. Dude is waaaaaaaaay smarter about online anything than I am; I'm lucky he isn't an ax murderer . lol

Smart, maybe, but 3 years and he still thinks you're gonna show up in his driveway pulling a Lloyd Dobler?
That's a little too cautious for me.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Internet safety was one of the first things I learned from a daddy who was mentoring me. No pictures of my face, how to set up an email account, KIK, and Skype accounts separate from my personal accounts. Even meeting in person. Safety is of utmost importance. After a year, he finally told me his first name, and we will meet soon. Only he and two other people know my cellphone number.

But my online Daddy is different. He shares his life with me openly, and I trust Him more than anyone (but he's been my Dom for more than 7 months!) He is the only one from Lit that I've talked face to face on Hangouts and he knows my first and last name because it's connected to my personal Google account, though two others have seen my face before I got the safety lecture.