Do you ever feel like things are only going downhill from here?

[7LivesManyFaces]

There really is such thing as BAD LUCK. It seems to follow me everywhere I go. The past year and a half has been the worst of my life, and that's putting into consideration my childhood years.

There's is nothing or anyone who can make me feel better today or tomorrow. All I can do right now is vent...on an erotica forum. And watch the hours, days, and months go by, waiting for my thoughts to one morning click in place and snap out of my emotional despair.

I even stopped believing in God, even though I haven't been to church since I was 12. No I don't think it's a punishment, but one night I realized that there wasn't anyone listening to me on the other side. It's not like I was begging for unreachable goals, just inner peace. It used to bring me immediate relief to think that he was listening to me. But he wasn't there anymore. What does it mean, to be left behind like that?

Part of me doesn't care so much about that, but the random bizarre things that happen to me putting a dent on my every day life; experiences and incidents you couldn't run into if you tried or meticulously planned them. Am I damned? Is there such thing? Why do the good things in my life get squashed down by the many, multiple, endless bad things that happen? By nature I'm a happy, optimistic, dust yourself off and try again kind of gal; free of drama, open-minded, move forward, methodic, passionate, go with the flow, love life, intense, leave the past behind, I'm-here-with-a-purpose kind of mentality. Suddenly I'm questioning all of it!!

People keep telling me that everything happens for a reason, but that is total BS. There's no reason or lesson to learn from these things. I'm sick and tired of it and I don't want my motto to be "shit happens" anymore.

 

[Saint Peter]

You control your own destiny, just not all of it. That is not god's fault. It is just the way it is.

 

[eyerami]

There really is such thing as BAD LUCK. It seems to follow me everywhere I go. The past year and a half has been the worst of my life, and that's putting into consideration my childhood years.

There's is nothing or anyone who can make me feel better today or tomorrow. All I can do right now is vent...on an erotica forum. And watch the hours, days, and months go by, waiting for my thoughts to one morning click in place and snap out of my emotional despair.

I even stopped believing in God, even though I haven't been to church since I was 12. No I don't think it's a punishment, but one night I realized that there wasn't anyone listening to me on the other side. It's not like I was begging for unreachable goals, just inner peace. It used to bring me immediate relief to think that he was listening to me. But he wasn't there anymore. What does it mean, to be left behind like that?

Part of me doesn't care so much about that, but the random bizarre things that happen to me putting a dent on my every day life; experiences and incidents you couldn't run into if you tried or meticulously planned them. Am I damned? Is there such thing? Why do the good things in my life get squashed down by the many, multiple, endless bad things that happen? By nature I'm a happy, optimistic, dust yourself off and try again kind of gal; free of drama, open-minded, move forward, methodic, passionate, go with the flow, love life, intense, leave the past behind, I'm-here-with-a-purpose kind of mentality. Suddenly I'm questioning all of it!!

People keep telling me that everything happens for a reason, but that is total BS. There's no reason or lesson to learn from these things. I'm sick and tired of it and I don't want my motto to be "shit happens" anymore.

You think you're miserable...

Good thing you just wrote all that crap above and don't have to read it.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

When I was 12 or so I did not understand why God allowed me to suffer so much.

30 years later I knew why.

God had put me thru hell so I knew where to take my patients outta hell.

 

[Samuelx]

The world throws shit at you, it's up to you to be clever and strong and fight back your way so you can win....

 

[girlsmiley]

Bizarre things like what?

More! Nice post.

 

[Saint Peter]

Bizarre things like what?

More! Nice post.

I had a dream about busybody wearing orange DOC coveralls and a straw hat.

 

[Noor]

I totally agree that "Things happen for a reason" is complete bullshit!

I understand downhill and bad years. At one point, I stopped thinking about it, and just went through the motions because that was all I could do.

The problem with loss is dealing with it and somehow incorporating it into the progression of your life. I know it sounds impossible, but it can happen.

There is no magic, no person or thing can make things better, though you can throw yourself into a relationship and/or work to avoid feeling and processing it.

Suppression doesn't really work because loss like grief pops up whenever it wants to or whenever there is a pause.

All you can do is brush yourself off and be part of life somehow. This is where you are now, make the best of what you can, while you can.

We are not entitled nor guaranteed anything more than this space, this point in time. We can work toward or hope for some future, so we will be prepared if it comes but that is about it.

For myself, I remember the things I am grateful for like my friends, family, the positive experiences that I had, that I was lucky to have the friends and loved ones that I have enough though they are no longer alive, the life I had while I was able to, the laughter, the sex, the love, the risks, the insanity and adventures.
The past and its memories are all mine, right now is mine, I have no idea about the future. I realize that, contrary to current popular opinion, much of life is out of our control. The only choices are to get off or keep going. I choose to keep going and see what the future brings.

 

[raindancer]

Sometimes, all you can do is just keep breathing.
And keep in mind, that everything is temporary.

 

[Noor]

Sometimes, all you can do is just keep breathing.
And keep in mind, that everything is temporary.

You said it!

 

[Bookishleigh]

I feel like I was in your exact shoes about this time last year. Personally, I think some things do happen for a reason and some things are a culmination of what we put out there. Either way, we're stuck with the cards we're dealt (for lack of a better cliche).

When I was going through my worst time, I made myself get up every day, take a shower, get dressed (even if I was just staying at home) and remind myself that nothing lasts forever.

Hope you get through your dark phase soon.

 

[Tryharder62]

Hey just know that someone cares and if you want to vent you can always pm me if things get hairy on this thread. I have felt like you do.

 

[GrandpaBill]

https://i.imgur.com/GDvfmsy.gif

"Yes, I do." - Bill Clinton

 

[7LivesManyFaces]

All you can do is brush yourself off and be part of life somehow. This is where you are now, make the best of what you can, while you can.

We are not entitled nor guaranteed anything more than this space, this point in time. We can work toward or hope for some future, so we will be prepared if it comes but that is about it.

This is so true. Thank you for that. Reminds me of a song by Aerosmith that goes something like "life's a journey, not a destination." It's just easier for me to rebel against the things that we don't expect to happen than to accept and work with what's in front of me.

 

[RoryN]

People keep telling me that everything happens for a reason

I have a strict quota re: how many of those people I allow in my life.

As far as I'm concerned, it's cancerous thinking - and it spreads.

 

[Debbie]

It's hard bouncing back when you think that life is sending you shit balls and you keep trying to carry on and bounce back.


So easy for me to say keep on going things will get better ... blah blah blah more platitudes.


But years ago when I felt life was so hard someone gave me a gratitude journal and I started writing. It was cathartic and I was able to read it and record the good things too or how changing little things made me feel better and that I was looking for the positive too when for the most part life was not easy and I didn't know how to carry on other than becoming an automaton and going thru the motions.


I hope things do get better for you.

 

[Christobal]

I have found it helpful when life is shitty to remind myself what is happening to me right now. Yes things might be bad but what is happening to me right this second. My world becomes very small. In the big it can be overwhelming. Most of the time when I think about what is happening to me right now nothing is happening.

 

[Noor]

This is so true. Thank you for that. Reminds me of a song by Aerosmith that goes something like "life's a journey, not a destination." It's just easier for me to rebel against the things that we don't expect to happen than to accept and work with what's in front of me.

You are welcome. Understood.
Eventually you will want that energy for what is ahead of you, but for now do whatever you need to do vent, rebel, whatever...

 

[7LivesManyFaces]

The world throws shit at you, it's up to you to be clever and strong and fight back your way so you can win....

That's what I keep trying to do, be persistent through adversity or doors slammed shut in my face. In the back of my head I believed the everything happens for a reason bs, then it just went on and on. My husband told me, maybe it's time to look in a completely different direction and let go of this one goal.

 

[7LivesManyFaces]

I have found it helpful when life is shitty to remind myself what is happening to me right now. Yes things might be bad but what is happening to me right this second. My world becomes very small. In the big it can be overwhelming. Most of the time when I think about what is happening to me right now nothing is happening.

You are correct. There is someone out there going through major hell or getting murdered, abused, or starved, and here I sit in the comfort of my sofa dwelling on small, insignificant things that are not even physical...all mental. Thank you, you just made me realize what a weak whiny person I've been, getting defeated by small things, that's all they really are.

 

[Fata Morgana]

Chin up petal. It could be worse, you could be a semi literate gobdaw posting all day on here about how big his dick is with his mum's handkerchief tied round his face.

Or a rancid old cuntbiscuit that unfortunately hauled himself out of the abortion bucket at the last minute and now hates all women but is creepily obsessed with children and scat.

Or a bitter shithead who made up a tumour to keep him company.

Or a halfwit that posts day and night spewing incessant bullshit backed up by a bit of face painting.

Or Killswitch1.

 

[learman3]

Yes, things seem to be getting worse day after day.

 

[Fflow]

...and now?

Somehow, I just stumbled upon this thread, and couldn't help but wonder if you found a path forward, through all the pain and sadness and frustration you were experiencing. I certainly hope so. I will admit that I have had to face some challenges, and when I suffered least it was because I was trying to be fully present, and not project myself back into the past, or into the future, to consider 'what if' scenarios. Another source of suffering is often a failure to clearly define success. It took me years to understand that I didn't need a career in order to be happy. I could simply have a job, one that sustains me enough to facilitate my other interests. Letting go of those expectations was truly liberating for me.

Anyway, here I am, posting on a thread that's 5 years old, on a site I hardly ever visit, writing to a person I don't know at all. What a world.

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

There really is such thing as BAD LUCK. It seems to follow me everywhere I go. The past year and a half has been the worst of my life, and that's putting into consideration my childhood years.

There's is nothing or anyone who can make me feel better today or tomorrow. All I can do right now is vent...on an erotica forum. And watch the hours, days, and months go by, waiting for my thoughts to one morning click in place and snap out of my emotional despair.

I even stopped believing in God, even though I haven't been to church since I was 12. No I don't think it's a punishment, but one night I realized that there wasn't anyone listening to me on the other side. It's not like I was begging for unreachable goals, just inner peace. It used to bring me immediate relief to think that he was listening to me. But he wasn't there anymore. What does it mean, to be left behind like that?

Part of me doesn't care so much about that, but the random bizarre things that happen to me putting a dent on my every day life; experiences and incidents you couldn't run into if you tried or meticulously planned them. Am I damned? Is there such thing? Why do the good things in my life get squashed down by the many, multiple, endless bad things that happen? By nature I'm a happy, optimistic, dust yourself off and try again kind of gal; free of drama, open-minded, move forward, methodic, passionate, go with the flow, love life, intense, leave the past behind, I'm-here-with-a-purpose kind of mentality. Suddenly I'm questioning all of it!!

People keep telling me that everything happens for a reason, but that is total BS. There's no reason or lesson to learn from these things. I'm sick and tired of it and I don't want my motto to be "shit happens" anymore.

I don't care where you live pick up a newspaper, there all kinds of people got it rougher than you. A a good portion of them don't get to wake tomorrow and complain about what they ain't got, won't get and never will have a chance at it again.
You woke up breathing this morning and more than likely breathing right now, ain't ya, what have ya done or tried to do to turn your life around. Because you the only fucking one with the power to do it, no one can do it for ya and moreover no one wants to because they too busy complaining about their own life.

 

[stickygirl]

That was five years ago. I spoke to her recently and she found God again, she's become a social worker with Mexican communities where the call her "bendita hermana siete caras" or just Caras for short. She owns a donkey with three legs and is content with life