spacekowboy
Edgar Allan Bro
- Joined
- May 17, 2001
- Posts
- 49,026
Although I went to a mate's wedding two years ago and she had the best pulled pork on the buffet.
I also threw a slug in the air.
This has got to be some sort of brit slang.
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Although I went to a mate's wedding two years ago and she had the best pulled pork on the buffet.
I also threw a slug in the air.
I THOUGHT IT WAS A FUCKING POTATO, MAN.
Jeeeeeeeeezzzzzzuuuuuuzzzzzzzzz H. Fucking KEEEEEEEEEEEERIIIIIIIIIST
...and here I thought I was dealing with a civilised people.
Hey! The food at my wedding was brilliant. It isn't my fault you didn't turn up.
I had a meeting today with a rather heavy man. He was picking at his teeth while I was talking. I obviously found something tasty in there because he dislodged it, chewed on it a bit more, and swallowed.
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This has got to be some sort of brit slang.
Edit my quote!
Cunt!!
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Oh. I assumed you were snogging his face off.![]()
Exactly. If we didn't throw the slugs they would never get anywhere, and then who would fertilize all the roses? The slugs need us. And I, for one, shall not shirk my slimy duty.
I am going to put my head in the oven.
You all have a nice night.
It's no good trying to educate these cunts Des. They probably think marmalade is having sex with their mother.
Well here in Britain it is tradition to throw slugs at weddings, not confetti. It's you yanks who are uncivilised.![]()
Exactly. If we didn't throw the slugs they would never get anywhere, and then who would fertilize all the roses? The slugs need us. And I, for one, shall not shirk my slimy duty.
It's something of a nice point. If someone isn't a mother before I start having sex with them they usually are by the time I finish.
Sample size of 1 (one).
It's no good trying to educate these cunts Des. They probably think marmalade is having sex with their mother.
Dan & Little Ann.
Well. I sat down with my plate of buffet food, it had been raining all day and we were outside. I dropped a bit of my Bombay potato but couldn't find it. Later when we were pissed up and yammering on I had my hand down the side of my thigh and thought I felt the wayward piece of spud. I picked it up to put on my plate and saw it was a fucking slug, screamed like a banshee and threw it up in the air. Guests were alarmed and gave me the dead eye and I felt sick for 35 minutes. Kept feeling it on my hand all night.![]()
Reminds me of the time a cockroach crawled into my hair at dinner.
When I was young I had very long, beautiful hair. I'd had a bath and was sitting at the the table in my pyjamas with my family having dinner. I could feel something tickling my neck, but then it stopped and I was all good. But then it started to wriggle again. I could feel something climbing in my hair. Tugging on my hair like a fish on a line. Climbing up to the nape of my neck. I froze. I'm surprised I didn't pee myself. I reached into my hair and grabbed this thing with my thumb and index finger and I squeezed. I squueeeezed. I squeezed the shit out of it and threw it on the table. It was dead.
...Well. I sat down with my plate of buffet food, it had been raining all day and we were outside. I dropped a bit of my Bombay potato but couldn't find it. Later when we were pissed up and yammering on I had my hand down the side of my thigh and thought I felt the wayward piece of spud. I picked it up to put on my plate and saw it was a fucking slug, screamed like a banshee and threw it up in the air. Guests were alarmed and gave me the dead eye and I felt sick for 35 minutes. Kept feeling it on my hand all night.![]()
Jesus fucking Christ. Why must such evil exist in the world?![]()
I don't know.
What I do know is that it's really hard being a little girl sometimes.
Did I tell you about the doll I got for Christmas? Again, I was at the table. I fed my little baby a bottle and she pissed on my nightie. My family laughed and laughed and I threw her on the floor and cried. And then my sister ate all the little doll food crystals.