PSA if you are leaving a control or at all abusive relationship

[Lancecastor]

Are you gonna leave then?

No; I'm going to revel in my victimhood...stop abusing me!

 

[hashtag45]

Yup, Lance and JBJ are partially right.

Domestic abuse by women, on their male spouses is underreported.
And I have to be non-PC honest:. At a much less serious level, I saw more women acting like bitches towards their spouses, than men. Maybe because women are more interpersonally oriented than men, and tend to focus a bit more on this aspect, whereas men are either more action-oriented, or more narcissistic.


But in terms of the much more serious cases of severe domestic abuse:
You're right on one hand, that domestic abuse on women is not as ubiquitous as feminazis make it out to be. And there's also this tendency on some radical feminists' part, to paint all men as potential abusers, and most women as innocent prey.

In saying that:
Seriously. You can't compare domestic abuse on men, with that on women. When the latter happens, it's usually much more vicious and dangerous. I haven't heard of that many men being severely assaulted or even killed by their spouses. Women being severely abused - I heard of too many such Cases, unfortunately.

 

[Adjudicator]

Yup, Lance and JBJ are partially right.

Domestic abuse by women, on their male spouses is underreported.
And I have to be non-PC honest:. At a much less serious level, I saw more women acting like bitches towards their spouses, than men. Maybe because women are more interpersonally oriented than men, and tend to focus a bit more on this aspect, whereas men are either more action-oriented, or more narcissistic.


But in terms of the much more serious cases of severe domestic abuse:
You're right on one hand, that domestic abuse on women is not as ubiquitous as feminazis make it out to be. And there's also this tendency on some radical feminists' part, to paint all men as potential abusers, and most women as innocent prey.

In saying that:
Seriously. You can't compare domestic abuse on men, with that on women. When the latter happens, it's usually much more vicious and dangerous. I haven't heard of that many men being severely assaulted or even killed by their spouses. Women being severely abused - I heard of too many such Cases, unfortunately.

Did you say severe domestic abuse against women is being exaggerated by feminists? Sorry, you said feminazis. It sounds like you're lack of relationships has left you a cynic. Get yourself to a women's center asap and volunteer. You need your eyes forced open.

I grew up in a home fraught with violence. A child myself, I was aware of the violence but felt helpless. You once again sound like a fool, hashtag.

A woman being 'bitchy' is not an appropriate comparidon at all.

 

[Lancecastor]

I grew up in a home fraught with violence. A child myself, I was aware of the violence but felt helpless.

Sorry to hear you had an unhappy childhood....if it helps, please share; this is a safe space for your sadness.

 

[Adjudicator]

Sorry to hear you had an unhappy childhood....if it helps, please share; this is a safe space for your sadness.

This surprised me. I was expecting you to be supporting hashtag. You seem to like your women stupid.

 

[oggbashan]

Our local women's refuge is underfunded, overfull, and under constant pressure to help more women.

They try to keep a low profile so that abusers don't know where the refuge is but that doesn't help them with raising money. Some of their supporters are their own worst enemy. They can refuse any funding from a man because it is 'tainted' money. Even without that attitude it is not an easy pitch to raise money for a women's refuge. People think it should be funded by local or national government. It isn't. It runs on donations alone.

If the women were abused dogs, cats or horses they'd find raising money much easier.

 

[hashtag45]

Did you say severe domestic abuse against women is being exaggerated by feminists? Sorry, you said feminazis. It sounds like you're lack of relationships has left you a cynic. Get yourself to a women's center asap and volunteer. You need your eyes forced open.

I grew up in a home fraught with violence. A child myself, I was aware of the violence but felt helpless. You once again sound like a fool, hashtag.

A woman being 'bitchy' is not an appropriate comparidon at all.

You didn't understand a word from my post, did you Ulaven.

1.In my first half, I wasn't referring to cases of genuine domestic abuse. I was referring to the more normal day to day interactions.
And pardon me if I sound like a bitch, but I saw quite a few relationships were women wore the pants and men.

But I lived in certain environments where men and women treated each other as equals, overall.
I haven't interacted, at a less superficial level with the more rough men. Although I came across a few men who worked in 'trade/ hands on jobs' (plummers, men who fixed my broken windows and such) who made me wonder how they treated their spouses.


2.In my 2nd half, I said: we shouldn't confuse the above with the serious cases of domestic abuse. Those are two different issues.
Even if domestic abuse on men is underreported and not taken seriously, unfortunately
- cases of domestic abuse on women are far more frequent and much more severe.

On the other hand, feminazis (as opposed to moderate feminists like Noor or so on) are doing women a huge disfavour, by painting All men as would-be predators. Because this just trivializes tje more severe cases.
Like the two recent GB threads on catcalling, which claimed that men whistling or catcallimg = sexual assault. Give me a break!

 

[Lancecastor]

This surprised me. I was expecting you to be supporting hashtag. You seem to like your women stupid.

I likes my wimmins smert!

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond
I want a girl who knows what's best
I want a girl with shoes that cut
And eyes that burn like cigarettes
I want a girl with the right allocations
Who's fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack
She's playing with her jewelry
She's putting up her hair
She's touring the facilities
And picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket.

 

[hashtag45]

Geeze, you made me so worked up, by accusing me of such ridiculous things.
Look at the long post that I wrote!

 

[Adjudicator]

You didn't understand a word from my post, did you Ulaven.

1.In my first half, I wasn't referring to cases of genuine domestic abuse. I was referring to the more normal day to day interactions.
And pardon me if I sound like a bitch, but I saw quite a few relationships were women wore the pants and men.

But I lived in certain environments where men and women treated each other as equals, overall.
I haven't interacted, at a less superficial level with the more rough men. Although I came across a few men who worked in 'trade/ hands on jobs' (plummers, men who fixed my broken windows and such) who made me wonder how they treated their spouses.


2.In my 2nd half, I said: we shouldn't confuse the above with the serious cases of domestic abuse. Those are two different issues.
Even if domestic abuse on men is underreported and not taken seriously, unfortunately
- cases of domestic abuse on women are far more frequent and much more severe.

On the other hand, feminazis (as opposed to moderate feminists like Noor or so on) are doing women a huge disfavour, by painting All men as would-be predators. Because this just trivializes tje more severe cases.
Like the two recent GB threads on catcalling, which claimed that men whistling or catcallimg = sexual assault. Give me a break!

You are okay with women being treated as sexual objects only? Bring on the cat-calling! Men should absolutely feel it's their right (praps their creator-given right) to tell women they lurve their bodies! Women's bodies exist for the sole pleasure of men!

Are you really a woman?

 

[hashtag45]

Did you say severe domestic abuse against women is being exaggerated by feminists? Sorry, you said feminazis. It sounds like you're lack of relationships has left you a cynic. Get yourself to a women's center asap and volunteer. You need your eyes forced open.

I grew up in a home fraught with violence. A child myself, I was aware of the violence but felt helpless. You once again sound like a fool, hashtag.

A woman being 'bitchy' is not an appropriate comparidon at all.

Well, I grew up in the reverse: a household where the woman wore the pants and the guy was a bit uninvolved, plus I had far better experiences with men, at work than I had with women. So give me a break and try to see where I'm coming from.

My point here was to point out to the fact that lance, JBJ versus you/Noor are referring to two different things. And that one doesn't exclude the other, and you are all right.

 

[barefootgirl69]

<delete everything I wrote>

Still dealing with my sociopath... even living in two different states... it's never far enough with trying to control me in some way, financial or through the kids.

Lance, some guys say that their wife abuses them as a way to isolate her and further control her. Some guys truly are abused. I hope they get the help they need.

 

[hashtag45]

You are okay with women being treated as sexual objects only? Bring on the cat-calling! Men should absolutely feel it's their right (praps their creator-given right) to tell women they lurve their bodies! Women's bodies exist for the sole pleasure of men!

Are you really a woman?

jesus!
There are different types of catcalling; some are people just goofing around and having fun, others a lot more serious.
Bronzeage, please come and help me!!

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Yup, Lance and JBJ are partially right.

Domestic abuse by women, on their male spouses is underreported.
And I have to be non-PC honest:. At a much less serious level, I saw more women acting like bitches towards their spouses, than men. Maybe because women are more interpersonally oriented than men, and tend to focus a bit more on this aspect, whereas men are either more action-oriented, or more narcissistic.


But in terms of the much more serious cases of severe domestic abuse:
You're right on one hand, that domestic abuse on women is not as ubiquitous as feminazis make it out to be. And there's also this tendency on some radical feminists' part, to paint all men as potential abusers, and most women as innocent prey.

In saying that:
Seriously. You can't compare domestic abuse on men, with that on women. When the latter happens, it's usually much more vicious and dangerous. I haven't heard of that many men being severely assaulted or even killed by their spouses. Women being severely abused - I heard of too many such Cases, unfortunately.

Oh my God I wasted $65,000, a 180 hour Masters program, and a 16 week internship at a rape/domestic violence center, when all I ever needed was your opinion.

I don't pull my opinions outta my fat ass. I research questions into the dirt.

Males do more damage, females launch the violence. At the hospital I saw how violent females are, and theyre able to pack plenty of force within a foot directed at a man. Males are large and clumsy. Grab a man's wrist and its over. Not so females.

I sneer at your ignorance.

 

[Noor]

jesus!
There are different types of catcalling; some are people just goofing around and having fun, others a lot more serious.
Bronzeage, please come and help me!!

The motivations of the cat callers is irrevelant, what is important is the effect on their victims.

 

[hashtag45]

Oh my God I wasted $65,000, a 180 hour Masters program, and a 16 week internship at a rape/domestic violence center, when all I ever needed was your opinion.

I don't pull my opinions outta my fat ass. I research questions into the dirt.

Males do more damage, females launch the violence. At the hospital I saw how violent females are, and theyre able to pack plenty of force within a foot directed at a man. Males are large and clumsy. Grab a man's wrist and its over. Not so females.

You're right that women can do damage too. Both sexes can be brutal, let's try not to play favourites.

But at least one thing stands against women, in cases of this type of violence: biologically, men are stronger than women.

 

[hashtag45]

The motivations of the cat callers is irrevelant, what is important is the effect on their victims.

being whistled at: "hei nice legs" or whatever (juvenile) or some stupid comments from a passing car (obnoxious behaviors)
-- are completely different from having one's ass grabbed.

 

[Lancecastor]

Lance, some guys say that their wife abuses them as a way to isolate her and further control her.

Some guys truly are abused.

No doubt there are all kinds of people who say they are being abused for all kinds of reasons.

That doesn't make any of it true.

For example, how can a guy be abusing you from such a great distance?

 

[Noor]

I never said I was referring to only male abusers and female victims.
Those who assumed I was are showing their own bias.
I have actually helped more males than females recently.

A big problem, at least in the US, is a lack of shelters for abused men with their kids.

Abuse occurs with all sexes, races, religions and economic status.
Women can be just are horrible as men.
Abuse is wrong, physical, emotional and sexual abuse is bad.

Damn right I am a feminist but that is irrelevant.

Abuse is a human rights issue and concerns all genders.

 

[hashtag45]

<delete everything I wrote>
1.Still dealing with my sociopath... even living in two different states... it's never far enough with trying to control me in some way, financial or through the kids.

2.Lance, some guys say that their wife abuses them as a way to isolate her and further control her. Some guys truly are abused. I hope they get the help they need.

1.Terrible situation

2.This is the voice of reason. Summed things up concise and nicely

 

[Noor]

being whistled at: "hei nice legs" or whatever (juvenile) or some stupid comments from a passing car (obnoxious behaviors)
-- are completely different from having one's ass grabbed.

Not completely different, just an escalation.

 

[Lancecastor]

Here's a pie graph.

http://www.chowrangi.pk/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/children-killed-by-one-parent.jpg

 

[hashtag45]

Not completely different, just an escalation.

maybe in the US, and there might be a bit of a cultural aspect to that too.
I suspect that men tend to manifest their aggression towards women in slightly different ways in Europe.

 

[hashtag45]

No doubt there are all kinds of people who say they are being abused for all kinds of reasons.

That doesn't make any of it true.

For example, how can a guy be abusing you from such a great distance?

abusive phonecalls, threats, attempts to sabotage and so on.
The emotional impact doesn't go away that quickly, especially if the victim developped PTSD or so on as a result of that.

 

[Adjudicator]

Query-

Your Smooth alt loves noor, but your hashtag alt is positioning herself against her. Smart move.