Eternal sexual frustration

[Tatyana]

So here's my pickle...I'm happily married, wonderful hubby, got all my fucking ducks in a row BUT I'm about two coffees away from smashing everything within sight with my vibrator because I feel so sexually frustrated!!!!

We were best friends before dating and he was the only guy I've ever been with...married quite young and now it's like I see him only as my best friend again, not some one I want to sleep with.

I feel like having an affair but don't think I can live with the guilt...Instead I keep fantasizing about fucking other men..
Is there no end to this madness?

 

[Him15]

So here's my pickle...I'm happily married, wonderful hubby, got all my fucking ducks in a row BUT I'm about two coffees away from smashing everything within sight with my vibrator because I feel so sexually frustrated!!!!

We were best friends before dating and he was the only guy I've ever been with...married quite young and now it's like I see him only as my best friend again, not some one I want to sleep with.

I feel like having an affair but don't think I can live with the guilt...Instead I keep fantasizing about fucking other men..
Is there no end to this madness?

That is like the 6th layer of hell from Dante right? Why dont you want to sleep with husband exactly?

 

[Tatyana]

That is like the 6th layer of hell from Dante right? Why dont you want to sleep with husband exactly?

I don't see him in a sexual light anymore to sleep with him. I love giving him head though...but that's only coz I get off on a power trip

 

[Him15]

I don't see him in a sexual light anymore to sleep with him. I love giving him head though...but that's only coz I get off on a power trip

Hmmm, when did you stop seeing him in a sexual light? Or did you ever actually see him that way?

 

[lustingmoment]

Hi Tayana

It is frustrating.. Try to experiment more with hubby dress him to what you like, tell him to fuck me this way or tell him I want to do this to you.
Otherwise like me I ended up finding a fuckbuddy and discreet and she is married and we catch up or some naughty dirty sex....

 

[Tatyana]

Hmmm, when did you stop seeing him in a sexual light? Or did you ever actually see him that way?

Hit the nail on the head 15! He ticked all the boxes, is super nice and I do love him...every other need has been met, just not sexual satisfaction

 

[lustingmoment]

Very true

 

[Kinkenglish]

Hit the nail on the head 15! He ticked all the boxes, is super nice and I do love him...every other need has been met, just not sexual satisfaction

It's a hard balancing act.. When you look at the threads on here, some crave for that relationship you have yet are sexually fulfilled... At least you're doing the right thing: not impulsively jeopardising what you have (just?) for the sake of better sex...
Good luck !

 

[dannyb57]

So here's my pickle...I'm happily married, wonderful hubby, got all my fucking ducks in a row BUT I'm about two coffees away from smashing everything within sight with my vibrator because I feel so sexually frustrated!!!!

We were best friends before dating and he was the only guy I've ever been with...married quite young and now it's like I see him only as my best friend again, not some one I want to sleep with.

I feel like having an affair but don't think I can live with the guilt...Instead I keep fantasizing about fucking other men..
Is there no end to this madness?

maybe cut down on the coffee

 

[just4friends]

Power?

Would he let you have more power ?
Pegging ?

 

[Tatyana]

Thanks! I'm just having a hard time trying to hammer some sense into myself..I don't want to lose what I have...hopefully this horny-ness is a phase

 

[Tatyana]

Would he let you have more power ?
Pegging ?

I only like being dominant when giving head...all other activities I guess I like the man to take charge...I miss doing it with a raw primal need

 

[just4friends]

I only like being dominant when giving head...all other activities I guess I like the man to take charge...I miss doing it with a raw primal need

Your hips would provide the primal need . But tis not your cup of tea

 

[troubledone]

I only like being dominant when giving head...all other activities I guess I like the man to take charge...I miss doing it with a raw primal need

When you give head
you
are dominant
period

 

[Tatyana]

When you give head
you
are dominant
period

After I'm done, I become more submissive

 

[sexywriterfla]

Thanks! I'm just having a hard time trying to hammer some sense into myself..I don't want to lose what I have...hopefully this horny-ness is a phase

Being horny isn't a bad thing...embrace who you are sexually.

 

[Steamrunner]

I agree with SexyWriterFLA; I'm in a similar place and that's why I'm here.

I figure it's time I take care of my own needs, rather than repress myself into a seething mess of pent-up orgasms...

 

[quietlylooking]

Thanks! I'm just having a hard time trying to hammer some sense into myself..I don't want to lose what I have...hopefully this horny-ness is a phase

I can empathize. I adore my husband, he's the best friend possible, but I do crave other men sexually.

I didn't marry until my later 30's, so I did have a number of serious relationships and some shorter ones. Generally after a year or so, the intense sexual desire for that specific man faded. I still enjoyed sex with that person, but I began fantasizing about others. I still loved and cared about these men, maybe even more so over time, but the sexual intensity faded. Efforts to reclaim the spark were fun, and kept the relationships happy, but were unsuccessful in their main goal.

Oddly, my past relationships that were LESS happy and had more conflict and were less "secure" seemed to maintain the passion longer.

You have to balance your needs with your desire for maintaining your marriage. It helped me to realize that any relationship I would want to be in would eventually lose its sexual intensity. It hasn't stopped me from wanting more, though, and from doing things of which I'm not always proud.

I used to beat myself up about this, but I think... it is probably fairly normal and makes sense biologically.

 

[sexywriterfla]

The last 2 posts are spot on, in my opinion.

 

[Steamrunner]

You have to balance your needs with your desire for maintaining your marriage. It helped me to realize that any relationship I would want to be in would eventually lose its sexual intensity. It hasn't stopped me from wanting more, though, and from doing things of which I'm not always proud.

I used to beat myself up about this, but I think... it is probably fairly normal and makes sense biologically.

Exactly. And as the OP is realising, you just end up getting worked up about it and wanting to throw sex toys around. At least you girls have a wide range to choose from....

So, yes; it may seem... Selfish, inconsiderate, unfair, unfaithful... to want or do something more; but there comes a point when you need to accept that your needs are just as, if not more, important.

At least, that's my take.

 

[jezzilee]

maybe cut down on the coffee

Sorry, I LOL'ed.

Good Luck OP!

 

[Tatyana]

I can empathize. I adore my husband, he's the best friend possible, but I do crave other men sexually.

I didn't marry until my later 30's, so I did have a number of serious relationships and some shorter ones. Generally after a year or so, the intense sexual desire for that specific man faded. I still enjoyed sex with that person, but I began fantasizing about others. I still loved and cared about these men, maybe even more so over time, but the sexual intensity faded. Efforts to reclaim the spark were fun, and kept the relationships happy, but were unsuccessful in their main goal.

Oddly, my past relationships that were LESS happy and had more conflict and were less "secure" seemed to maintain the passion longer.

You have to balance your needs with your desire for maintaining your marriage. It helped me to realize that any relationship I would want to be in would eventually lose its sexual intensity. It hasn't stopped me from wanting more, though, and from doing things of which I'm not always proud.

I used to beat myself up about this, but I think... it is probably fairly normal and makes sense biologically.

I know what you mean by more passion in a conflicting relationship. My ex boyfriend before I met my future husband was a textbook bad boy and we dated did a little over a year. Although we loved each other, I held out on sleeping with him coz I knew he was not Mr. Right. I seriously regret not doing it...biggest dick I've seen in my life too!
It doesn't help that I'm Asian and come from a culture where principles are set so high

 

[Tatyana]

I agree with SexyWriterFLA; I'm in a similar place and that's why I'm here.

I figure it's time I take care of my own needs, rather than repress myself into a seething mess of pent-up orgasms...

Yep that's what I've become...a high strung seething mess!

 

[sexywriterfla]

Yep that's what I've become...a high strung seething mess!

Tatyana, rather than actually cheating, which can be a seething can of worms, Lit can be a safe and sexy alternative. And yes I know some would call this cheating, too, or a form of it...but whatever.

 

[Tatyana]

Exactly. And as the OP is realising, you just end up getting worked up about it and wanting to throw sex toys around. At least you girls have a wide range to choose from....

So, yes; it may seem... Selfish, inconsiderate, unfair, unfaithful... to want or do something more; but there comes a point when you need to accept that your needs are just as, if not more, important.

At least, that's my take.

But what about the consequences? I don't ever want to hurt his feelings...if he finds out he'll be crushed and I'll be miserable if I do something that can't be undone