Funniest line in a story

[Ezrollin]

What is the funniest line you remember from a story ?
Here's my entry from one of Kantarii's stories:
it makes me feel like I'm gay when you play with your cock while I'm fucking you in the ass." imao

 

[Kantarii]

Yeah, that was a pretty funny line.

Here's one of my favorite lines from Chapter 4 of "A Slut's Triangle"


"If I wanted to hear your fucking mouth, I'd pull my cock out of it, Ashleigh." Kryss scolds me.

 

[Kantarii]

.....

 

[lovecraft68]

From Tales of the Circle Welcome to the The Circle when Mark is punishing a female member of the group who just happens to be a best selling erotica author.

"How could not expect that? Don't you read your own shitty books?" Mark rolled his eyes, "No wonder they're always in the bargain bins."

 

[Ezrollin]

From Tales of the Circle Welcome to the The Circle when Mark is punishing a female member of the group who just happens to be a best selling erotica author.

"How could not expect that? Don't you read your own shitty books?" Mark rolled his eyes, "No wonder they're always in the bargain bins."

LOL !

 

[Kantarii]

From Tales of the Circle Welcome to the The Circle when Mark is punishing a female member of the group who just happens to be a best selling erotica author.

"How could not expect that? Don't you read your own shitty books?" Mark rolled his eyes, "No wonder they're always in the bargain bins."

That made me laugh.... Hahaha

 

[Handley_Page]

Terry Pratchett: 'Men at Arms'.

Sgt Detritis:- "Wot are a safety catch?"

 

[EverLux]

From Lick by Kylie Scott:

"Make love. I meant make love … of course. I would never just stick my dick in you. I would make mad, passionate love to this sweet, sweet body of yours for days, no, weeks. It would be beautiful, pumpkin. There’d be little angels, and birdies, and you know … all just hanging around, watching. Perverts.”

She is my dialogue idol, btw.

 

[astuffedshirt_perv]

this one made me laugh in an otherwise sexy story:

"But she did not let the roomers about my questionable sexual choices, effect our friendship."

 

[EverLux]

From Lick by Kylie Scott:

Eek. That's Play, not Lick.

 

[Boxlicker101]

From "Cindy Lou Moves to New York:"

I've always thought this was extremely ironic. The woman is horny and was playing with her clit on the bus when a man saw her and offered to eat her pussy. She came from that and now they are about to fuck on the back seat.

She had condoms in her jacket pocket and would have insisted he use one if he had not had his own but she preferred that it not be necessary. She didn't want the young man, who was still a stranger, to think she was such a slut as to be carrying contraceptives around in her pocket.

 

[JKendallDane]

From A Cat Named Cupid...

(The two main characters are just in the middle of orgasm when they notice the cat staring at them from the top of the bookcase headboard)

Steven chuckled and said, "I told you the other day, he was a perv. Ever since I got him fixed, he has had this voyeur thing going. Hope you can get used to it."

.

 

[Sammael Bard]

Written a year ago, from Sarah's Book:

I went on a diet for a month, and all I lost was 30 days.

 

[Handley_Page]

this one made me laugh in an otherwise sexy story:

"But she did not let the roomers about my questionable sexual choices, effect our friendship."

Please forgive the question, but what are "roomers" ?

 

[Bramblethorn]

this one made me laugh in an otherwise sexy story:

"But she did not let the roomers about my questionable sexual choices, effect our friendship."

I've seen a couple of NC stories that became much more surreal because the authors didn't know the difference between "burglar" and "bugler".

 

[MatthewVett]

We took pity on him because he'd lost both parents at an early age. I think that, on reflection, we should have wondered a bit more about that.

-- Lord Downey reflects on Mister Teatime (Terry Pratchett, Hogfather)

Loses a bit without context, I think.

 

[jomar]

Well, I assume it's just me but I laughed a lot writing my White Trash series, and still do when I read it.

But as far as a funniest line in another story, I'm going to have to think...

 

[glynndah]

I wanted to steal "She was long on mascara but short on morals" so badly.

 

[Kantarii]

Here's a few lines from "A Slut's Triangle" chapter 7

"So, how does a lucky guy like you get to attend an 'all-girls' party without having a pussy? Kimberly asks, blowing cute, little, smoke rings; studying every single move Brenda makes - obviously daydreaming.

"I'm a transvestite." I confess, being honest. "I'm sure I can blend in at an 'all-girls" party without looking like the only guy there." I snicker, entertaining the thought of what would happen if they find an imposter.
***********

"Are you trying to hook us up?" I whisper, glancing over my shoulder again watching for Kimberly; waiting for Brenda to explain herself.

"When was the last time you actually fucked someone with your dick during sex?" Brenda smirks, knowing her comment irks the shit out of me.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Please forgive the question, but what are "roomers" ?

Gossip, which may or may not be true.

"Roomers have it that Carol is pregnant by Philip, but Philip is supposed to be sterile."

 

[astuffedshirt_perv]

Gossip, which may or may not be true.

Also the Platinum album by Fleetwood Mac...

 

[ScarednLonelyRider]

From The Erotic Adventures of Joan of Arc and Space Pirate Captain Cydd Yoshiba

"The biomechanical eyepatch covering his blown out right socket, a silver orb of metal and machinery, whirred and whined softly as he tried to look unflappable, stern, like a Space Age Fonzerelli squaring off against a battalion of cosmo-sharks"

It's not an erotic line, but it is from an erotica
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B013KV17U2/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tmb#nav-subnav

 

[Carnal_Flower]

Hermione: We could all be killed! Or worse--expelled.