Ever been to a dinner and were as embarrassed shit?

[Christobal]

I was with my step father in law and family at a restaurant and he decided it would be really funny to pull out his false teeth and start playing with them to gross out our table. I asked him to stop but he was enjoying it and kept it up for twenty minutes For us and every other table in sight. I wish I could explain it by saying he was drunk. Nope. Perfectly sober, he just thought it was funny. I wanted to apologise to everyone including customers and staff.

The best thing I could think of was to get us out of quickly.

Epilogue. She divorced him long ago.

What are your stories?

 

[Bidin~Time]

I have more stories than Laurel has bandwidth. Quirky sense of humor run high on both sides of my family.

 

[Lancecastor]

Isn't that a deleted scene from Ricky Bobby?

 

[Killswitch1]

I went to my brothers brunch the day after his wedding at the Ford Fairlane club in Dearborn MI. Very exclusive. They wouldn't let me in because I didn't have a suit coat on and they provided me this multi colored spaghetti stained POS to wear.

I was so pissed that my girlfriend (Jane....13 years older than me and smoking hot....I was 23...lol) anyhow....she was basically giving me a handjob under the table cloth to calm me down.

Man she was hot.

 

[Christobal]

I have more stories than Laurel has bandwidth. Quirky sense of humor run high on both sides of my family.

Please share

 

[Christobal]

I went to my brothers brunch the day after his wedding at the Ford Fairlane club in Dearborn MI. Very exclusive. They wouldn't let me in because I didn't have a suit coat on and they provided me this multi colored spaghetti stained POS to wear.

I was so pissed that my girlfriend (Jane....13 years older than me and smoking hot....I was 23...lol) anyhow....she was basically giving me a handjob under the table cloth to calm me down.

Man she was hot.

Not sure who was embarrassed?

You? Her? The person you sprayed on?

 

[Lancecastor]

I had the hots for my headhunters receptionist, so i asked her out to dinner (with my headhunter's permission) at Far Niente, a nice little spot in the neighborhood.

( in my game, your headhunter is the most valuable person you never pay for)

So... Me and chicky...Obvious attraction between us, so the pre dinner chit chat was anticipatory.

Birthdates are exchanged in the small talk.

Wtf?...Her birth day month and year... same as my ex-wife's.

That's when it hit me... She also looked, spoke, dressed, same mannerisms, same build... As my ex-wife's.

I broke out into a cold sweat. Totally freaked out.

What does Mister Genius do?

I told her.

Guaranteed first date sex....gone.

I had to take her out two more times just to keep her boss from being pissy with me.

 

[Killswitch1]

Not sure who was embarrassed?

You? Her? The person you sprayed on?

My parents and every man there caught ooogling Jane by their wives.

lol

She caused quite a rukus at the wedding and reception the night before as well.

 

[Christobal]

Once in a high class place. One elders of the party decide to compliment the African-American server that he was one of the good ones. In his weird elderly mind this was really a compliment. I pulled the sever aside, apologised profusely and gave him an extra $20. I wish I could have come up with something better but that was all I could think of on the fly.

 

[Aquagal]

My parents and every man there caught ooogling Jane by their wives.

lol

She caused quite a rukus at the wedding and reception the night before as well.

So now the coat was spaghetti and cum stained?

 

[Christobal]

My parents and every man there caught ooogling Jane by their wives.

lol

She caused quite a rukus at the wedding and reception the night before as well.

Hmm. This doesn't sound like you or her were embarrassed.

 

[Killswitch1]

So now the coat was spaghetti and cum stained?

I never got off under the table. I did however get my cousins phone number and found out he and his wife were swingers or they wanted to fuck Jane like everyone else....

That was weird....at the time anyhow.

lol

 

[Killswitch1]

Hmm. This doesn't sound like you or her were embarrassed.

I was embarrassed wearing the coat the rest is just good stuff.

 

[Aquagal]

I was embarrassed wearing the coat the rest is just good stuff.

Did you give the coat back at the door?

 

[Killswitch1]

Did you give the coat back at the door?

I forget. I think I took it off shortly after getting to the table and left it on the chairback.

 

[Christobal]

So now the coat was spaghetti and cum stained?

I beginning to think this may be a story you aren't telling us. Come on, you know you have one. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

 

[BabblingBrooke]

An older male relative, after being demanding and rude during the meal, picked up the check at a steakhouse. 6 adults, 5 kids...we were noisy and a busy table. He left a $3 tip, maybe $2 and change ("keep the change") and acted like a generous man. I faked a reason to return inside and give the server an additional tip, much deserved. She was clearing the table and was clearly upset. I was happy to be able to change that.

He and one other relative are on my no restaurant list.

 

[Killswitch1]

An older male relative, after being demanding and rude during the meal, picked up the check at a steakhouse. 6 adults, 5 kids...we were noisy and a busy table. He left a $3 tip, maybe $2 and change ("keep the change") and acted like a generous man. I faked a reason to return inside and give the server an additional tip, much deserved. She was clearing the table and was clearly upset. I was happy to be able to change that.

He and one other relative are on my no restaurant list.

Nicely done.

 

[BotanyBoy]

An older male relative, after being demanding and rude during the meal, picked up the check at a steakhouse. 6 adults, 5 kids...we were noisy and a busy table. He left a $3 tip, maybe $2 and change ("keep the change") and acted like a generous man. I faked a reason to return inside and give the server an additional tip, much deserved. She was clearing the table and was clearly upset. I was happy to be able to change that.

He and one other relative are on my no restaurant list.

https://media.giphy.com/media/ch1Z4rUWBZBnO/giphy.gif

 

[Aphro]

Nice restaurant. They used to make this awesome lunch salad.

Not sure it would guarantee first date sex though. At least you know your type.

I had the hots for my headhunters receptionist, so i asked her out to dinner (with my headhunter's permission) at Far Niente, a nice little spot in the neighborhood.

( in my game, your headhunter is the most valuable person you never pay for)

So... Me and chicky...Obvious attraction between us, so the pre dinner chit chat was anticipatory.

Birthdates are exchanged in the small talk.

Wtf?...Her birth day month and year... same as my ex-wife's.

That's when it hit me... She also looked, spoke, dressed, same mannerisms, same build... As my ex-wife's.

I broke out into a cold sweat. Totally freaked out.

What does Mister Genius do?

I told her.

Guaranteed first date sex....gone.

I had to take her out two more times just to keep her boss from being pissy with me.

 

[Aphro]

An older male relative, after being demanding and rude during the meal, picked up the check at a steakhouse. 6 adults, 5 kids...we were noisy and a busy table. He left a $3 tip, maybe $2 and change ("keep the change") and acted like a generous man. I faked a reason to return inside and give the server an additional tip, much deserved. She was clearing the table and was clearly upset. I was happy to be able to change that.

He and one other relative are on my no restaurant list.

Yikes. Good save though.

 

[Colonel Hogan]

It was only a mid-priced family restaurant, but I and a female friend (platonic) who I had not seen in awhile had a long, pleasant dinner and animated conversation.

At its end, I believe we both went to the restrooms. She finished first and was waiting in the hallway when I emerged from the men's room. There we said our goodbyes and she proceeded back up to the front of the restaurant while I exited the door directly to my right.

I sort of wondered at the time why she wasn't following me. I assumed she parked elsewhere. Turns out my door was a fire exit, and I immediately set off the alarm whereupon a waitress hurriedly appeared and escorted me up past the cashier. I had left correct change on the table, but I'm sure no one believed that as every eye in the restaurant followed my exit -- out the appropriate door.

The hell of it was, I had eaten in that very restaurant dozens of times before. It was in my neighborhood. I knew damn well there was only one legitimate way out.

Talk about a brain fart!

 

[Ldy_Sea]

BF (now long time ex) took me to a local strip club. One of the girls and I hit it off. She told me to pick her up at her day job (a major chain restaurant) so we could hang out the next night.

I go to the restaurant early and asked to be seated in her section. I ordered a meal and by the time she served me I was fast asleep. I had like 4 hours sleep in two days.

By the time I woke up, she had cashed out and left. She had payed for my meal so she didn't have to wake me. My food was cold and when I went back to the strip club to see her, she ignored me.

 

[Comshaw]

In a long ago time, when my son was about a year old, my wife and I took him to have dinner with a couple of friends. We hadn't seen these friends for a while so we met at a Shakey's Pizza Parlor for dark beer and pizza. It was a Saturday evening and the place was packed. We found a table and I plopped my son down into one of the supplied high chairs. It was summer so all he had on was a shirt and diaper. My buddy and I proceeded to slurp dark beer while telling each other tall stories. My wife and his also spent the time in deep conversation. We ate and talked for about an hour. Suddenly both wives got up and left the table.

As she walked away my wife said over her shoulder,"He's yours, you handle it!"

I didn't know what she was talking about until I glanced over at my son. He had filled his diaper to over flowing and it was running down the leg of the high chair and puddling on the floor.

Mortified I had only one thing I could do (other then verbally beat my wife for leaving me with it). I tucked another diaper around his little butt, picked him up high chair and all and packed him through the restaurant to the restroom. As I headed for the restroom the only thing I could hope was that everyone was busy enough not to notice. They weren't and they did. There was total silence (except for the occasional gagging sound) As I marched through the room. After I had him cleaned up I left through the back door. No damned way was I going back through that place.



Comshaw