Illogical Movie Moments

[TimTimTyner]

What movie moments seemed totally illogical to you?

I'm sitting here watching "Deep Impact", the 1998 movie about an impending comet collision with Earth. And while it is a science FICTION movie, I still can't help but wonder why the writers and/or directors would include a scene that is so scientifically illogical to the aims of the characters.

Specifically, I am referring to the approach of the spacecraft to the comet. The pilot (Robert Duvall as Spurgeon Tanner) brings the ship in from behind the comet and steers it through the dangerous tail of rock and ice at a relatively high speed.

Wouldn't it have made more sense to arrive next to the comet, rather than behind it, then merge over next to it at a speed relatively close to that of the comet and, therefore, the debris creating the tail?

The movie's version of approach could be thought of as driving up a busy 60 mph freeway at 180 mph, trying not to hit any other cars as you head for a specific exit; while my version could be thought of as driving up that same freeway at 65 mph and moving slowly about the other cars with the same goal in mind.

And before you say that the ship had to catch up to the asteroid, the ship was coming from Earth, so ... there was no catching up to be done.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you're going to say: it was done for drama's sake. But couldn't they have found a more logical way to include some drama?

You trolls are free to ridicule what I have said. I expect your replies, though, I won't read it. But feel free.

I would much rather see your examples of similar illogical movie scene offerings.

Have fun.

 

[fire_breeze]

I never got Armageddon. It would be easier to teach a bunch of deep-core driller how to work and survive in space, on a comet, and to place a highly volatile nuclear device in said asteroid than it is to teach astronauts what they probably already know how to do?

 

[TimTimTyner]

Here's a pet peeve of mine that repeats in cop movies and television shows all over the big and little screens.

Cops and medical examiners use abbreviations for common things to make speaking about them quicker, right?

So why would a cop or medical examiner say "GSW" (5 syllables) and not "gun shot wound" (3 syllables). It's the (bad) writer's way of making the character look more professional, when in reality it just makes the character look stupid.

 

[fire_breeze]

This is more of a plot hole than inaccuracy. In The Matrix, you need someone to patch you into the Matrix, both literally with the hooks and then go to the computer and dial you into the Matrix. So, how was Cypher patched and then dialled in?

 

[Ldy_Sea]

Here's a pet peeve of mine that repeats in cop movies and television shows all over the big and little screens.

Cops and medical examiners use abbreviations for common things to make speaking about them quicker, right?

So why would a cop or medical examiner say "GSW" (5 syllables) and not "gun shot wound" (3 syllables). It's the (bad) writer's way of making the character look more professional, when in reality it just makes the character look stupid.

Being from a family of cops, I can tell you every cop I've met says GSW. So does my best friends wife who is an ER Doc.

They also say DRT (Dead right there) and other expressions not suitable even for this board.

 

[ydahecnot]

The classic illogic, from the old Superman TV show: The villain would shoot six times at Supeman's chest, and he would stand tall, unflinching. Then when the villain would throw the gun, Superman would duck

 

[Ldy_Sea]

Hunt for Red October

Help dropped self destructing torpedo. There are torpedos that can be detonated like that, but they are not dropped from choppers. Only wire guided torpedos can be detonated. Can you imagine a helo dropping a wire guided torpedo?

Die Hard 2

Ejection seat in a transport plane.

Delta Force being called in. Posse Commitatus Act anyone?

Die Hard 3-5

Pretty much every moment.

Blues Brothers

Chase scene in the mall. No cop would continue to pursue a car into a building.

The fact the cars still worked after crashing into the mall.

How the fuck did the national guardsmen leave work, get home and into uniform, get to the armory, get geared up and deploy in a matter of maybe an hour.

The big auto crash.

Why was CFD charging into the building with CPD, Cook Co SD, Army National Guard.

The Warriors

The names and "uniforms" of all the gangs.

Star Wars

Even the worst shooter in the world hits something about 5% of the time. The US military has one kill per 250K rounds fired (includes training). Police and civillian shootings have a hit rate of around 20%. Seems like storm troopers would hit someone by sheer luck once in a while.

Rambo 3

My favorite of all the Rambos.

No way a the chopper would hover without someones hands on the stick. A chopper is a delicately counterbalanced machine trying to tear itself apart. It must be controlled at all times.

Pouring gunpowder into a wound to cauterize it. No way it would all burn, and it would cause an infection. Very bad idea.

West Side Story

Pretty much every fight scene

Star Wars, Star Trek, and every other movie showing alien races

We can't stop the spread of disease on one planet where we all share common blood types and biology. But almost no one catches a cold from meeting all these aliens...

...and they all speak English.

U-571

The US military was not integrated until 1947 or so. No way a black man would be serving on a sub in any capacity at that time.

US Navy S.E.A.L.s

Anyone who acted like Charlie Sheen did in that movie would be removed from the team, and probably court martialed for disobeying orders. More likely he would have never made it through officer training or B.U.D.s

Top Gun

The line "...she is a civillian so you don't have to salute her..." Everyone in the military knows that you don't salute civilian contractors. The only civillians you salute are secretaries and undersecretaris of each service and of the DoD and POTUS/VPOTUS.

Steel Magnolias

Firing a gun, even a starter pistol to scare birds, in an urban setting is illegal in pretty much every state. Even if it's just a noise complaint.

The line "I don't even know how to make gray icing." Really? ever take art in school and mix white and black?

Pretty much every gunfight in every movie ever

No one ever needs to reload, no gun ever jams, and hardly anyone is ever shot, unless they're an unnamed extra. Except the protagonist who will run out of ammo, and need a way to take out the antagonist who still has bullets in his gun. There's always a conveniently located baseball bat, golf club, or some other weapon that hero uses to knock the gun out of bad guys hand.

Those are the only ones I can think of right now.

 

[RockyRoll]

In "The Day After Tomorrow", there are a couple of scenes where characters are trying to outrun extreme deadly cold waves.....as if sharp temperature drops are visible and even work that way. The whole movie was laughable.

 

[IsadoraSpiegel]

Lady in the Water, not only the fact that everybody just accepts this half-naked chick on her word of being a supernatural creature without batting an eye, but also the guy figuring out the different traits of the players who need to help them. And the little boy who's apparently the Symbolist(omfg, really?) reads the clues needed to figure out what they do next...in cereal boxes.

And I could literally go on for days why the Majestic doesn't make sense, but the part I threw my remote at the tv? Carrey's character connecting with pretty girl who was the old flame of who he's supposedly supposed to be. They get to talking and the implication is that they're alone, walking down the street. Camera angle changes to reveal the whole town is following them, leering and waiting for something??? Seriously, for the tone of the film to take on such a serious note the entire time to suddenly 180 into cartoon-ville for a comedic moment, I guess? Felt like something I'd write when I was 13. The entire movie. Because I was lame and thought shit that wasn't funny or smart were actually signs of sophistication. See? I'm already started. I could keep goin'. Fuckin' hate that movie.

 

[PeteHulbert37]

Speed

I'm sorry. No bus is jumping a fifty foot gap in the road. No actual ramp or anything. No way no how. Just ridiculous!

 

[GlitterTaco]

Here's a pet peeve of mine that repeats in cop movies and television shows all over the big and little screens.

Cops and medical examiners use abbreviations for common things to make speaking about them quicker, right?

So why would a cop or medical examiner say "GSW" (5 syllables) and not "gun shot wound" (3 syllables). It's the (bad) writer's way of making the character look more professional, when in reality it just makes the character look stupid.

I had this exact thought yesterday and thought about posting it!

 

[Ldy_Sea]

I had this exact thought yesterday and thought about posting it!

Read post 5.

 

[Ldy_Sea]

Speed

I'm sorry. No bus is jumping a fifty foot gap in the road. No actual ramp or anything. No way no how. Just ridiculous!

And if you watch the bus JUmp the front end goes up like it hit a ramp when there's nothing there.

Stunt team built a ramp, and then SFX edited it out. Just looks weird.

 

[Chris_Michael]

Inception was either really illogical, or it just confused the shit out of me. Or... Both... I'm confused now.

 

[TimTimTyner]

Here's a pet peeve of mine that repeats in cop movies and television shows all over the big and little screens.

Cops and medical examiners use abbreviations for common things to make speaking about them quicker, right?

So why would a cop or medical examiner say "GSW" (5 syllables) and not "gun shot wound" (3 syllables). It's the (bad) writer's way of making the character look more professional, when in reality it just makes the character look stupid.

Being from a family of cops, I can tell you every cop I've met says GSW. So does my best friends wife who is an ER Doc.

On a daily basis, I watch the news and a variety of real life (not reality show) programs that talk about crime. And I have NEVER once heard a real cop or ME use the abbreviation GSW instead of simply saying gun shot wound. Maybe it's something cultural in your neck of the woods, not saying that there's anything wrong with your family or friends. I'm just talking from my own experience.

 

[GlitterTaco]

Read post 5.

yeah, I'll get right on that...

but the point was that it's illogical, regardless of whether everyone you know does it

 

[Mrtenant]

Pick a Fast and Furious movie? I've street raced before. It aint like that.

James Bond? How come that dude never gets jetlag or diarhhea from exotic foods and other worldy changes?

 

[ShinyNewbie]

Anything that happened in Avatar.

 

[Ldy_Sea]

On a daily basis, I watch the news and a variety of real life (not reality show) programs that talk about crime. And I have NEVER once heard a real cop or ME use the abbreviation GSW instead of simply saying gun shot wound. Maybe it's something cultural in your neck of the woods, not saying that there's anything wrong with your family or friends. I'm just talking from my own experience.

My "neck of the woods" Is Houston PD, NYPD, Pasco Co Sheriff, Jacksonville Sherriff, Baltimore PD, Orlando PD, and the US Secret Service, among others.

GSW is jargon used among those in the profession. Anyone who is authorized to talk to the press is taught no to use jargon, but to use normal language so reporters and the public understand it.

You never hear them say 10-4 to indicate understanding, or Signal 0 to refer to an armed man. Yet these are used in cop bars and get togethers everyday.

 

[TimTimTyner]

Another cop show example that I see repeatedly is when only the stars of the show -- 2, 4, maybe 5 cops/agents -- insert into a house known to have bad guys with guns, sometimes with both the guys and guns in superior numbers, rather than wait for SWAT or other backup. If there's anything we've learn from the numerous recent shootings it's that the cops don't rush in willy nilly. I know, it's just for dramatic effect, but still, when you're watching a show that purports to be a slice of life...

 

[TimTimTyner]

NCIS -- more bad writing in what is often a fairly good show:

Guy coming out of his work place onto a busy, pedestrian and car crowded street of Washington DC notices a suspicious van across the street. (First, I don't know what made it suspicious to him. It was just a nice looking van legally parked.)

He begins walking, and a moment later the van casually pulls out. That might have made me suspicious if I was up to something, so...

It is at this point that my problem arrives. Rather than simply turn and return to his place of work or stay in the thick crowd of pedestrians or simply stay in place and see what happens, he runs down a deserted alley in which the bad guys -- who were actually the good guys catching a bad guy -- are able to chase him down and capture him in private without witnesses.

 

[CutiePie1997]

Oooooo, I love this idea, Tim. Glad I searched your list of Threads.

Here's one that I saw last night in rerun.

The show: NCIS.

Abby, the lab technician, never locks the door to her lab.

To emphasize the unusualness of this McGee, DiNozzo, and Palmer each arrive at and try to pass through the door, only to slam into it when it doesn't open as expected.

Sounds cute and logical. I've done this, ran into a door when it didn't open as expected.

Only problem with this is that the door doesn't open inward, it opens outward.

If it opened inward but was locked a person might expect it to open when twisting the handle but when it didn't open they would run into it.

But since it opens outward a person would stop at the door and pull only to find it locked.

So this was bad writing. Illogical. And just plain stupid.

 

[DarkSimian]

<snip>

Steel Magnolias

The line "I don't even know how to make gray icing." Really? ever take art in school and mix white and black?

For my second wedding, I made sure to find a local bakery that could do a "bleeding armadillo" cake. And yes, I got the butt piece

 

[Dream_Operator]

My coworkers were discussing the new Independence Day movie yesterday. And under much duress and peer pressure I was shamed into admitting I never saw the original movie, which I watched last night.

At one point in the movie, the USAF runs out of pilots and, by show of hands, asks for volunteers from a bunch of white trash, RV owners who they have improbably allowed onto the Area 51 airbase.

Randy Quaid, playing a drunk crop duster (not much of stretch, really), sobers up with a cup(s) of coffee and ends up saving the day (and the planet).

That said, it was entertaining, in a cheesy sort of way.

 

[EctoJohn]

Zoom and enhance on digital photos or videos.
It just doesn't work like that.