is this a bi thing? question for straight girls and men who have straight gfs/wives

[Raingirl85]

Do straight women really not send their boyfriends/husbands pictures of hot women or porn clips of women they think he'd like?

Was really surprised when my straight friend told me that on the contrary she gets pissed when her husband looks at erotic pictures and/or porn. Is that a standard straight girl attitude?

 

[tnhardon]

Do straight women really not send their boyfriends/husbands pictures of hot women or porn clips of women they think he'd like?

Was really surprised when my straight friend told me that on the contrary she gets pissed when her husband looks at erotic pictures and/or porn. Is that a standard straight girl attitude?

Making generalizations is never a good thing. I would say that a lot of wives don't want their husbands looking at erotic pictures or porn, as a lot of men feel the same way. Most couples have mutual feelings that they want to be the only attraction for their partner.

I would consider spouses that encourage that type of behavior, looking at porn/erotica, are in the minority, regardless of their sexual preference. Someone who has bi leanings may be more likely to encourage their partner because they too get aroused by members of that sex, but to make the generalization that the bi/str8 are somehow connected to this would be a stretch.

 

[bicurnow]

Making generalizations is never a good thing. I would say that a lot of wives don't want their husbands looking at erotic pictures or porn, as a lot of men feel the same way. Most couples have mutual feelings that they want to be the only attraction for their partner.

I would consider spouses that encourage that type of behavior, looking at porn/erotica, are in the minority, regardless of their sexual preference. Someone who has bi leanings may be more likely to encourage their partner because they too get aroused by members of that sex, but to make the generalization that the bi/str8 are somehow connected to this would be a stretch.

Totall agree with tn even if he wasn't hard

 

[Raingirl85]

good point about not generalizing. but im really surprised you say you'd guess it's a minority of couples that share porn/erotica together. That really surprises me.

 

[lydia_kitty]

good point about not generalizing. but im really surprised you say you'd guess it's a minority of couples that share porn/erotica together. That really surprises me.

I'm bi and married and we don't do that in our marriage. He's pretty vanilla and wouldn't be comfortable with that so I'm respectful of his preferences. It's not a straight vs bi characteristic.

 

[PleasePeesMe]

When we were new together,

my wife and I often watched porn together, as a sort of foreplay. That tailed off and I don't think she'd be mad about me watching it now. And she certainly wouldn't like to know I look at bisexual porn and want to suck cock.

 

[FantasyXY]

My wife is among the women that will point out someone that she thinks is hot. When I was traveling on business, we once spent an entire evening on the phone looking at the cheerleaders from all 32 NFL teams and critiquing each one's level of hotness.

She has also pointed out on several occasions that this or that woman is acting like she wants to have sex with me. In most cases her observation is punctuated with a teasing laugh as the women aren't exactly "my type". On a couple of occasions though, she has followed up her observation with an exclamation of "I'd do her".

I do think my wife is the exception and not the rule. Every other woman I've been in a relationship with would have a conniption fit and spit daggers if she thought for one second I might be attracted to another woman in any way.

 

[HesterP]

I am not in a loving relationship at the moment but would expect my man to notice a pretty woman as I might notice an attractive man. I think it would be cool to share those thoughts with each other.

 

[PleasePeesMe]

Quite right.

My wife would think there was something wrong with me if I didn't notice attractive women.

 

[tnhardon]

My wife would think there was something wrong with me if I didn't notice attractive women.

That is separate from what the OP was talking about though. I don't think that many couples expect their partner to not notice an attractive person. That is human nature. However, that is far different then actively seeking out porn and erotica.

 

[PleasePeesMe]

True, sorry.

Although I did answer on topic earlier. These threads do tend to wander as more people chip in. But that's OK.

 

[sunandshadow]

Well, I am a straight woman. If I has a bi boyfriend I'd find it fun if we pointed out attractive men to each other. I would absolutely not do the same for women. I would never, ever, be interested in an MFF threesome so why would I encourage that? The only exception would be swinging/spouse exchange.

 

[blowit]

My wife is among the women that will point out someone that she thinks is hot. When I was traveling on business, we once spent an entire evening on the phone looking at the cheerleaders from all 32 NFL teams and critiquing each one's level of hotness.

She has also pointed out on several occasions that this or that woman is acting like she wants to have sex with me. In most cases her observation is punctuated with a teasing laugh as the women aren't exactly "my type". On a couple of occasions though, she has followed up her observation with an exclamation of "I'd do her".

I do think my wife is the exception and not the rule. Every other woman I've been in a relationship with would have a conniption fit and spit daggers if she thought for one second I might be attracted to another woman in any way.

My wife and I have a very similar relationship in that we are both bi curious and we do watch porn together. Like you if we see an attractive person of either sex she or I will say to the other, "oh you would". It's good fun and very liberating to have that honesty without there being an issue. She actually has my consent to have a discreet relationship with a woman but is too scared to initiate that. I do not, as yet, have reciprocal consent.

 

[Isevil1976]

We may be in the minority, but as a straight couple my wife and I send each other video links as well as pictures and links to stories...... I will admit I send more than she does

 

[suckonsimon]

My wholeheartedly monogamous straight wife takes pleasure in my appreciation of the sexiness of other women in real life. I take that as an indication of her confidence about my love for her and my appreciation of her own sexiness. As to erotic images, the only ones we share are classy ones of couples pleasuring each other. Both these scenarios can be a delightful lead-in to foreplay, the first one a lead-in to the kind of foreplay which goes on tantalizingly for half a day before the most electrified kind of sex.

On reflection, I think she would be uncomfortable about me ogling over pictures of just naked women as distinct from pictures of sexual pleasure goin' on. But I don't. What that's about I've never considered.

 

[Raingirl85]

Well, I am a straight woman. If I has a bi boyfriend I'd find it fun if we pointed out attractive men to each other. I would absolutely not do the same for women. I would never, ever, be interested in an MFF threesome so why would I encourage that? The only exception would be swinging/spouse exchange.

I guess I just don't see it as encouraging a threesome or encouraging infidelity or anything! We all look at porn..it doesn't mean we want to cheat on our partner, or that we are unsatisfied with our partner, or that we feel the need to bring someone else into the bedroom. It's just enjoyable to watch attractive people fucking..or watch someone do something really dirty and do it really fucking well. Or just appreciate the beauty of a sexual form and hot body.

 

[PleasePeesMe]

Agreed.

 

[positivetension]

Trading porn with a partner is a perfect way to let them know what you're kinda into or curious to try, or to feel out what they respond to and turns them on. I wouldn't feel like just serving up a bunch of stuff for him to masturbate to, but if it's part of sharing and communicating then it's great. Even if it's just for fun, like "she looks just like that waitress we were talking about...."

 

[UrbanBohemian]

No, it's not a bi thing. It has to do with insecurity. I've had a few relationships with bisexual women or just women who appreciate other women and we did send pics and videos back and forth. Some people are so insecure they can't handle their partners having any sort of life beyond them. That's not okay. Compassion and understanding are important, of course, but at some point you do need to learn how to be an adult. Here's an example. If someone ever went through my phone, emails, or whatever that's it. Relationship over. Right then and there. I understand some people have problems and are very insecure but regardless that is not okay. I have disabilities and health issues myself and yeah, you should cut people some slack, but at some point we're responsible for our actions. So the people who view porn and masturbation as some kind of infidelity or just want to be their partner's everything in every way do need to get over themselves and start putting on their big boy or big girl pants.

So honestly the bottom line is most of us do have some sort of life beyond simply the person we're involved with and that's healthy and normal. The people who have a problem with that need to get over it, start acting like adults, and address their own problems rather than taking it out on other people. I've been with straight women too and I could care less if they look at pictures of other people. They're not having sex with them, doing sexual things with them, or trying to do either of those things so it's all fine. That's not something that should cause any substantial jealousy. It's just not.

It's perfectly normal and all it says is you have the confidence and sense to get that porn, erotica, looking at other people, etc. are all very normal parts of being human and you don't need to be the center of attention at all times. It's a good thing, not a bad thing. I think it's a very positive trait to have.