Inequality of

slayergirl69

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Inequality of men and Women

So I tried posting this in the BDSM board because of all the Femdom lovers over there but it didn't pan out so well, so I wanted to try this one here...

I'll start off by saying I am not really into the hardcore pain stuff that often gets stereotyped into Femdom, but both My bf and I are really into gentle Female superiority.

I just love the idea that men are second and Women are first, that We deserve special treatment because We are Women and that We should be worshipped and protected, while still maintaining Our independence and dignity.

There are varying aspects as to what turns Me on about this, but it can simple as scenes from an action movie where the hero kills a bunch of bad guys to save the Damsel or as sexy as an erotic video about men only receiving ruined orgasms while Girls can have as many as We want :)

I guess I'll start this thread out on that note and if anyone is interested in this stuff, now there's a thread to share! :)
 
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Yes! I feel the same way. I don't like the silly femdom of chains and beatings and so on. But I love the idea of mild femdom and I often have fantasies about this.
In my fantasies I am the servant, not slave, of a very beautiful woman. I do all the chores for her, shopping, cleaning, etc, and I am regularly asked to lick her off, perhaps twice a day. Very occasionally, if I have been very good, she will do the same for me...

I love the stuff on your "female worship" thread too and I was going to comment there until I saw this one.
 
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Yes! I feel the same way. I don't like the silly femdom of chains and beatings and so on. But I love the idea of mild femdom and I often have fantasies about this.
In my fantasies I am the servant, not slave, of a very beautiful woman. I do all the chores for her, shopping, cleaning, etc, and I am regularly asked to lick her off, perhaps twice a day. Very occasionally, if I have been very good, she will do the same for me...

I love the stuff on your "female worship" thread too and I was going to comment there until I saw this one.

Thank you, glad you're here!

That's a nice fantasy, and the twice a day licking sounds quite nice! Of course this would be for Her only ;-)

It really turns Me on that a dignified beautiful Woman can be pampered and even at times irresponsible but men will still idol Her and even take the fall for Her :)
 
The problem with your initial thread is you started it on the BDSM board. That is where one would think it would go, but this is lit. Not fet life or any legit BDSM community. There are good people there, but they are outweighed by sadists and assholes looking for submissive women to talk down to and the fifty shades groupies who only think women are submissive and that's how it has to be. Femdom is a part of BDSM in real life, but a bad word here.

I like what you describe, I am into that myself. My husband would like me to be rougher, but its not in me to do so. I like a slow teasing form of control my husband refers to me as a 'velvet domme'

I think you'll get a better reception here as the men of the fetish forums are man enough to admit everything they enjoy and are not caught up in real man domly dom syndrome like in BDSM and the women here are up for a lot more experimenting rather than 'oh yes sir.'
 
The problem with your initial thread is you started it on the BDSM board. That is where one would think it would go, but this is lit. Not fet life or any legit BDSM community. There are good people there, but they are outweighed by sadists and assholes looking for submissive women to talk down to and the fifty shades groupies who only think women are submissive and that's how it has to be. Femdom is a part of BDSM in real life, but a bad word here.

I like what you describe, I am into that myself. My husband would like me to be rougher, but its not in me to do so. I like a slow teasing form of control my husband refers to me as a 'velvet domme'

I think you'll get a better reception here as the men of the fetish forums are man enough to admit everything they enjoy and are not caught up in real man domly dom syndrome like in BDSM and the women here are up for a lot more experimenting rather than 'oh yes sir.'

Ha yeah, I just feel like My thread de-railed into people trying to define the "real definitions" of D/s relationships and I just wanted to talk about My fetish lol

I really like the term "velvet domme" thats cool! Can I ask what interests/excites You about all this?
 
Ha yeah, I just feel like My thread de-railed into people trying to define the "real definitions" of D/s relationships and I just wanted to talk about My fetish lol

I really like the term "velvet domme" thats cool! Can I ask what interests/excites You about all this?

Not an original answer, but the control, the power. The knowing he is at my sexual mercy, that he will not cum until I decide. There is nothing sexier than hearing a man whimper or beg for release.

No pain involved, no punishing and no bondage...his arms are to remain still or the game stops. In order to get off he has to allow me to do what I want as I want.

The control drives me crazy and its worth it for him to because by the time he does cum he says its so hard he can barely move afterwards.
 
So I tried posting this in the BDSM board because of all the Femdom lovers over there but it didn't pan out so well, so I wanted to try this one here...

I'll start off by saying I am not really into the hardcore pain stuff that often gets stereotyped into Femdom, but both My bf and I are really into gentle Female superiority.

I just love the idea that men are second and Women are first, that We deserve special treatment because We are Women and that We should be worshipped and protected, while still maintaining Our independence and dignity.

There are varying aspects as to what turns Me on about this, but it can simple as scenes from an action movie where the hero kills a bunch of bad guys to save the Damsel or as sexy as an erotic video about men only receiving ruined orgasms while Girls can have as many as We want :)

I guess I'll start this thread out on that note and if anyone is interested in this stuff, now there's a thread to share! :)

Well this isn't my bag to be honest, and actually I guess you could say I'm into women who are a little bit submissive (Nothing too kinky though, just some light stuff) but this is interesting to me. I tend to be curious about people with different points of view and experiences from mine. Would you mind if I asked a few questions about how this all works if I run into something I don't understand? I don't want to derail your thread or anything.
 
I think it's just so boring with all the labels and stereotypes that go with them. I do understand you sometimes need a label to hint out what you do in your relationship (if you can't go into specifics), but still it limits and is often so, so tedious.

I'm married and femdom is the basis of our lovelife, but I wouldn't call myself a rough domme, a mild domme, a velvet domme or anything like that. Then again I've no problem saying I'm a sadist yes, but not even close to being the most sadistic kind. We don't have whips because I find it very uninteresting, but I do smack my husband's ass every now and then. It's because I find his ass amazingly wonderful and I want to have as much physical contact with it as I possibly can. Hubby did buy us a baby blue riding crop as a wedding anniversary present and that's been used on his cock, balls and thighs. But that's pretty much as far as inflicting physical pain goes. CBT is not my things, mostly because I want to love his cock, not to hurt it. And balls don't interest me.

Whilst I am a sadist (at least to a certain degree), I'm also very warm, loving and affectionate. We kiss and cuddle all the time, I call him sweet names and we're both extremely gentle towards each other. But the sadistic mindset is always there and it usually comes out stronger and stronger the more I get turned on. It's just my reaction to sexual stimulation, what can you do. In my case it doesn't mean I'm a nasty person in general.

Our day to day BDSM & D/s stuff is pretty basic I guess. Full-time ejaculation control, occasional male chastity, I decide who does the topping etc and what we actually do. Some bondage happens occasionally, but I think that's mostly tied (no pun inteded) to our humiliation play, which is a fetish and not a part of BDSM per se. We try to have Sadistic Sundays as often as we can, that means a full day of prolonged D/s play, inluding lots of controlling from me and equal amounts of suffering (or "suffering") for him. Those are the days I usually get insanely "drunk" over the power rush, cos of the length of the session and the intensity it grows into. Afterwards we both need lots of aftercare, something I personally don't usually need (meaning those mundane weeknights when we do a bit of playing after everyone's gone to bed).

I always allow him to make wishes and ask for things, cos it helps me draw the big picture. And out of having full comprehension of that big picture I can direct him to cater my needs in ways that are equally satisfying for us both, just in different ways physically and mentally.

The rest we do (anal play, crossdressing, humiliation etc) are more fetish-oriented and just different ways to have sex / do sexual things within the D/s frame that's always present.

With all that said I do think women and men should be equal. Just not in a sexual sense in our marriage ;)
 
Velvet domme is a nice term for it.
On slayergirls other thread female worship there are sone great pics like this one
http://41.media.tumblr.com/2ab2d8243cb02f1c710c1a2211c0258c/tumblr_ngpzjgtiHd1tnjw6po1_1280.jpg
showing the kind of thing Allie is talking about.
Gorgeous tall naked woman with her foot on his cock, not hurting it but just teasing controlling and tormenting.

Very erotic pic!

Temple of the goddess is a great thread, there's some hardcore stuff if course, but lots like the one you posted.

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=851090
 
I think it's just so boring with all the labels and stereotypes that go with them. I do understand you sometimes need a label to hint out what you do in your relationship (if you can't go into specifics), but still it limits and is often so, so tedious.

I'm married and femdom is the basis of our lovelife, but I wouldn't call myself a rough domme, a mild domme, a velvet domme or anything like that. Then again I've no problem saying I'm a sadist yes, but not even close to being the most sadistic kind. We don't have whips because I find it very uninteresting, but I do smack my husband's ass every now and then. It's because I find his ass amazingly wonderful and I want to have as much physical contact with it as I possibly can. Hubby did buy us a baby blue riding crop as a wedding anniversary present and that's been used on his cock, balls and thighs. But that's pretty much as far as inflicting physical pain goes. CBT is not my things, mostly because I want to love his cock, not to hurt it. And balls don't interest me.

Whilst I am a sadist (at least to a certain degree), I'm also very warm, loving and affectionate. We kiss and cuddle all the time, I call him sweet names and we're both extremely gentle towards each other. But the sadistic mindset is always there and it usually comes out stronger and stronger the more I get turned on. It's just my reaction to sexual stimulation, what can you do. In my case it doesn't mean I'm a nasty person in general.

Our day to day BDSM & D/s stuff is pretty basic I guess. Full-time ejaculation control, occasional male chastity, I decide who does the topping etc and what we actually do. Some bondage happens occasionally, but I think that's mostly tied (no pun inteded) to our humiliation play, which is a fetish and not a part of BDSM per se. We try to have Sadistic Sundays as often as we can, that means a full day of prolonged D/s play, inluding lots of controlling from me and equal amounts of suffering (or "suffering") for him. Those are the days I usually get insanely "drunk" over the power rush, cos of the length of the session and the intensity it grows into. Afterwards we both need lots of aftercare, something I personally don't usually need (meaning those mundane weeknights when we do a bit of playing after everyone's gone to bed).

I always allow him to make wishes and ask for things, cos it helps me draw the big picture. And out of having full comprehension of that big picture I can direct him to cater my needs in ways that are equally satisfying for us both, just in different ways physically and mentally.

The rest we do (anal play, crossdressing, humiliation etc) are more fetish-oriented and just different ways to have sex / do sexual things within the D/s frame that's always present.

With all that said I do think women and men should be equal. Just not in a sexual sense in our marriage ;)

Was there ever a time you weren't into the dom thing? How did you come to realize that's what you like? Like have you just always thought about things like that even before you really knew what they were or did something spark that interest in you?

Oh, and what's CBT? Cock/Ball torture? That would be my guess but I don't know so I'm asking.
 
Was there ever a time you weren't into the dom thing? How did you come to realize that's what you like? Like have you just always thought about things like that even before you really knew what they were or did something spark that interest in you?

Oh, and what's CBT? Cock/Ball torture? That would be my guess but I don't know so I'm asking.

Honestly I've always been into it. Pretty much ever since I got my first sexual thoughts / feelings. Of course they weren't nearly as direct and they most definitely didn't have names, but the feeling has always been there. It was a bit over 10 years ago when I got my first proper BDSM experience and that's when everything clicked into place - and I was quite young even back then, though legally adult anyway.

And yes you're right, it's Cock & Ball Torture indeed!
 
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I like to think of this as the natural state of my marriage. I love to serve my wife in any way possible, and will do anything that she asks. I have done many things for her for no other reason than that she has asked me to. There are practical limitations that usually have to do with our respective roles in our marriage. Asking me to do something that interferes with my role as breadwinner is going to cause problems, as is ignoring my opinion or asking me to do anything humiliating. There is a line in the sand somewhere between accepting my adoration and taking advantage of it.

I think that in that sense our marriage is the spirit of female superiority, but perhaps not the letter. I am devoted and submissive to her because she inspires that in me, but not because of her gender. I think that every relationship is unique, and dominance and submission are uniquely inspired by each other. I've spent some time reading on female led marriage type web sites. Those web sites focus on sex, but (at the risk of over-generalizing) the gist of it is that the woman leads while the husband does whatever the wife wants. My wife prefers me to lead while taking into consideration what she wants. That seems to be a fundamental difference.

I'd love to have my wife dominate me during sex, but I can't really describe what that would mean. I adore her and worship her body. I am already very focused on her pleasure, and feel restless and incomplete when we go without sexual intimacy for a while. I love watching and feeling her body respond to my mouth and hands. I love having her on my face, focused on her own pleasure. That makes me feel submissive, even though I am usually the one who's leading her there during sex. I don't think explicit acts would make me feel more submissive.

Orgasm denial is something I like. Being kept aroused and desperately close to orgasm is a kind of deeply intimate and vulnerable state. It makes me feel incredibly close to my wife. I would love for her to get a dominant sexual thrill out of having me give up my orgasm just because she says so, but love that achy, simmering unfinished need both because it feels incredible and makes me feel deeply connected to her. I don't think it's either dominant or submissive, just wonderful.

I think that when people focus on semantics and definitions, they completely overlook the potential for deeply intimate experiences. My wife isn't superior for any other reason than she inspires me to treat her that way. People who define themselves by gender and roles seem to sometimes be hyper-focused on what they get out of the role, instead of on what they are giving to their partner and the dynamics of intimacy. If two partners feed off of being dominant or submissive to each other as individuals, then I think that they have something special that other relationships don't.

Just my rambling...
 
Honestly I've always been into it. Pretty much ever since I got my first sexual thoughts / feelings. Of course they weren't nearly as direct and they most definitely didn't have names, but the feeling has always been there. It was a bit over 10 years ago when I got my first proper BDSM experience and that's when everything clicked into place - and I was quite young even back then, though legally adult anyway.

And yes you're right, it's Cock & Ball Torture indeed!

Yay! I'm smart! S-M-R-T!

That's interesting. I've always wondered how people develop kinks like that. Thanks for the answer.
 
I think it's just so boring with all the labels and stereotypes that go with them. I do understand you sometimes need a label to hint out what you do in your relationship (if you can't go into specifics), but still it limits and is often so, so tedious.

I'm married and femdom is the basis of our lovelife, but I wouldn't call myself a rough domme, a mild domme, a velvet domme or anything like that. Then again I've no problem saying I'm a sadist yes, but not even close to being the most sadistic kind. We don't have whips because I find it very uninteresting, but I do smack my husband's ass every now and then. It's because I find his ass amazingly wonderful and I want to have as much physical contact with it as I possibly can. Hubby did buy us a baby blue riding crop as a wedding anniversary present and that's been used on his cock, balls and thighs. But that's pretty much as far as inflicting physical pain goes. CBT is not my things, mostly because I want to love his cock, not to hurt it. And balls don't interest me.

Whilst I am a sadist (at least to a certain degree), I'm also very warm, loving and affectionate. We kiss and cuddle all the time, I call him sweet names and we're both extremely gentle towards each other. But the sadistic mindset is always there and it usually comes out stronger and stronger the more I get turned on. It's just my reaction to sexual stimulation, what can you do. In my case it doesn't mean I'm a nasty person in general.

Our day to day BDSM & D/s stuff is pretty basic I guess. Full-time ejaculation control, occasional male chastity, I decide who does the topping etc and what we actually do. Some bondage happens occasionally, but I think that's mostly tied (no pun inteded) to our humiliation play, which is a fetish and not a part of BDSM per se. We try to have Sadistic Sundays as often as we can, that means a full day of prolonged D/s play, inluding lots of controlling from me and equal amounts of suffering (or "suffering") for him. Those are the days I usually get insanely "drunk" over the power rush, cos of the length of the session and the intensity it grows into. Afterwards we both need lots of aftercare, something I personally don't usually need (meaning those mundane weeknights when we do a bit of playing after everyone's gone to bed).

I always allow him to make wishes and ask for things, cos it helps me draw the big picture. And out of having full comprehension of that big picture I can direct him to cater my needs in ways that are equally satisfying for us both, just in different ways physically and mentally.

The rest we do (anal play, crossdressing, humiliation etc) are more fetish-oriented and just different ways to have sex / do sexual things within the D/s frame that's always present.

With all that said I do think women and men should be equal. Just not in a sexual sense in our marriage ;)

Thank you for sharing! That's really lovely and sounds like You two have a great system :) The label thing is really true, I guess sometimes I look for a "simple" explanation of the bizarre list of things that turn us on lol
I too am a lover and a cuddler lol, I really love having romantic evenings and really cute talk back and forth- if you see My Female worship thread it's kind of has a tone like that, no real "D/s" stuff but a lot of sexual favors for Women and the guys are happy to serve :)

This picture embodies a lot of My attitude towards sex with My bf with the Girl on top feeling his kisses and the guy on bottom happily serving Her and his penis is limp and ignored :) http://www.femaleworship.com/images/gallery/LetMeSmotherYou/Pics/LetMeSmotherYou2.jpg

On the note of cbt, that was something I was pretty apprehensive about but I find light forms of it pretty fun lol but I mostly just love controlling his orgasms and ruining them when I can :)

And I agree, outside of our fetishes and sexual exploits- My bf and I are very egalitarian.
 
I like to think of this as the natural state of my marriage. I love to serve my wife in any way possible, and will do anything that she asks. I have done many things for her for no other reason than that she has asked me to. There are practical limitations that usually have to do with our respective roles in our marriage. Asking me to do something that interferes with my role as breadwinner is going to cause problems, as is ignoring my opinion or asking me to do anything humiliating. There is a line in the sand somewhere between accepting my adoration and taking advantage of it.

I think that in that sense our marriage is the spirit of female superiority, but perhaps not the letter. I am devoted and submissive to her because she inspires that in me, but not because of her gender. I think that every relationship is unique, and dominance and submission are uniquely inspired by each other. I've spent some time reading on female led marriage type web sites. Those web sites focus on sex, but (at the risk of over-generalizing) the gist of it is that the woman leads while the husband does whatever the wife wants. My wife prefers me to lead while taking into consideration what she wants. That seems to be a fundamental difference.

I'd love to have my wife dominate me during sex, but I can't really describe what that would mean. I adore her and worship her body. I am already very focused on her pleasure, and feel restless and incomplete when we go without sexual intimacy for a while. I love watching and feeling her body respond to my mouth and hands. I love having her on my face, focused on her own pleasure. That makes me feel submissive, even though I am usually the one who's leading her there during sex. I don't think explicit acts would make me feel more submissive.

Orgasm denial is something I like. Being kept aroused and desperately close to orgasm is a kind of deeply intimate and vulnerable state. It makes me feel incredibly close to my wife. I would love for her to get a dominant sexual thrill out of having me give up my orgasm just because she says so, but love that achy, simmering unfinished need both because it feels incredible and makes me feel deeply connected to her. I don't think it's either dominant or submissive, just wonderful.

I think that when people focus on semantics and definitions, they completely overlook the potential for deeply intimate experiences. My wife isn't superior for any other reason than she inspires me to treat her that way. People who define themselves by gender and roles seem to sometimes be hyper-focused on what they get out of the role, instead of on what they are giving to their partner and the dynamics of intimacy. If two partners feed off of being dominant or submissive to each other as individuals, then I think that they have something special that other relationships don't.

Just my rambling...

It's lovely rambling! :) Thanks for sharing

I think it's so incredible the kind of devotion Women can inspire in men, and I love how you articulate that your submissiveness and desire worship Her is inspired by Her, that's beautiful :)
 
I think it's so incredible the kind of devotion Women can inspire in men.

Most femdom porn is just guys getting off the way that they want to get off. The woman is just a prop. True submission, devotion, and service are inspired by the woman inside.
 
My Wish

Not an original answer, but the control, the power. The knowing he is at my sexual mercy, that he will not cum until I decide. There is nothing sexier than hearing a man whimper or beg for release.

No pain involved, no punishing and no bondage...his arms are to remain still or the game stops. In order to get off he has to allow me to do what I want as I want.

The control drives me crazy and its worth it for him to because by the time he does cum he says its so hard he can barely move afterwards.

I wish my partner would do this with me, I'd love to concead control to her - totally. I's such a turn on.
 
You could try some of my stories.

Yes, that always struck me as your main theme, the gentler form of Fem Dom. As a switch, I'm glad to see this come out to play, as a nice balance to the Male Dom and the crueler type of Female Dom as well.
 
I think it's just so boring with all the labels and stereotypes that go with them. I do understand you sometimes need a label to hint out what you do in your relationship (if you can't go into specifics), but still it limits and is often so, so tedious.

I'm married and femdom is the basis of our lovelife, but I wouldn't call myself a rough domme, a mild domme, a velvet domme or anything like that. Then again I've no problem saying I'm a sadist yes, but not even close to being the most sadistic kind. We don't have whips because I find it very uninteresting, but I do smack my husband's ass every now and then. It's because I find his ass amazingly wonderful and I want to have as much physical contact with it as I possibly can. Hubby did buy us a baby blue riding crop as a wedding anniversary present and that's been used on his cock, balls and thighs. But that's pretty much as far as inflicting physical pain goes. CBT is not my things, mostly because I want to love his cock, not to hurt it. And balls don't interest me.

Whilst I am a sadist (at least to a certain degree), I'm also very warm, loving and affectionate. We kiss and cuddle all the time, I call him sweet names and we're both extremely gentle towards each other. But the sadistic mindset is always there and it usually comes out stronger and stronger the more I get turned on. It's just my reaction to sexual stimulation, what can you do. In my case it doesn't mean I'm a nasty person in general.

Our day to day BDSM & D/s stuff is pretty basic I guess. Full-time ejaculation control, occasional male chastity, I decide who does the topping etc and what we actually do. Some bondage happens occasionally, but I think that's mostly tied (no pun inteded) to our humiliation play, which is a fetish and not a part of BDSM per se. We try to have Sadistic Sundays as often as we can, that means a full day of prolonged D/s play, inluding lots of controlling from me and equal amounts of suffering (or "suffering") for him. Those are the days I usually get insanely "drunk" over the power rush, cos of the length of the session and the intensity it grows into. Afterwards we both need lots of aftercare, something I personally don't usually need (meaning those mundane weeknights when we do a bit of playing after everyone's gone to bed).

I always allow him to make wishes and ask for things, cos it helps me draw the big picture. And out of having full comprehension of that big picture I can direct him to cater my needs in ways that are equally satisfying for us both, just in different ways physically and mentally.

The rest we do (anal play, crossdressing, humiliation etc) are more fetish-oriented and just different ways to have sex / do sexual things within the D/s frame that's always present.

With all that said I do think women and men should be equal. Just not in a sexual sense in our marriage ;)

These two statements demonstrate just how much so-called "vanilla" interests and non-BDSM kinks can intersect rather seamlessly into a loving D/s relationship, whether Male Dom or Fem Dom. Not to mention a healthy sense of perspective about the outside world and how much it is distinct from one's own kinks and fetishes.
 
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