Consumer Proof Packaging: A Rant

[GoldenCojones]

I bought a pen today. Spent $0.97 on the damned thing. Brought it home and couldn't get the damned packaging open to save myself. I always carry a sharp knife and I hacked away at this package with my knife for several minutes trying desperately to not cut a finger or other useful appendage off. Gave up on the knife and went in search of a pair of scissors. They wouldn't even scratch the damned plastic covering. So out to the tool shed. I found a pair of tin shears and finally got the packaging to release my prize only to find that in all my struggles I'd broken the pen.

If I was slightly less stable I believe I would travel to Taiwan and commit a felony as I shoved the packaging and the pen up some corporate decision maker's puckered little ass!

But the air fare is just too damned expensive. I checked.

I'm not really a "Law" kinda guy but if congress passed a law forbidding consumer proof packaging, I would stand up and applaud.

 

[Carnal_Flower]

You're suffering from Wrap Rage -- Stephen Colbert

I bought a pen today. Spent $0.97 on the damned thing. Brought it home and couldn't get the damned packaging open to save myself. I always carry a sharp knife and I hacked away at this package with my knife for several minutes trying desperately to not cut a finger or other useful appendage off. Gave up on the knife and went in search of a pair of scissors. They wouldn't even scratch the damned plastic covering. So out to the tool shed. I found a pair of tin shears and finally got the packaging to release my prize only to find that in all my struggles I'd broken the pen.

If I was slightly less stable I believe I would travel to Taiwan and commit a felony as I shoved the packaging and the pen up some corporate decision maker's puckered little ass!

But the air fare is just too damned expensive. I checked.

I'm not really a "Law" kinda guy but if congress passed a law forbidding consumer proof packaging, I would stand up and applaud.

 

[TxRad]

The best thing I've found for opening those plastic blister packs that are melted together all the way around is a hook type letter opener.

 

[HandsInTheDark]

Dremel, with the kind of cutting wheel used to get through bolts. Doesn't smell good but it's much faster than scissors or even a razor knife, and you won't lose a finger on sharp plastic edges or blades.

 

[GoldenCojones]

Dremel, with the kind of cutting wheel used to get through bolts. Doesn't smell good but it's much faster than scissors or even a razor knife, and you won't lose a finger on sharp plastic edges or blades.

Mmm, power tools! I wish I thought of that. I have a chainsaw that would have done the trick

 

[NotWise]

If you contacted the manufacturer they might link you to a video showing an elderly 89-pound Chinese woman opening the package without tools.

I once opened one of those things with a jig saw.

 

[GoldenCojones]

If you contacted the manufacturer they might link you to a video showing an elderly 89-pound Chinese woman opening the package without tools.

I once opened one of those things with a jig saw.

She would probably have six inch talons that were sharper than my knife Chinese women scare me!

 

[JKendallDane]

I'll trade mutilating the idiot that invented that packaging for ten minutes (and a full waiver of immunity from prosecution) with the jackass engineer at Chrysler that decided wedging the battery into a nearly inaccessible position underneath a labyrinth of hoses and cables in the 2004 model Intrepids was somehow an intelligent design.

That insane idea was bad enough, but to come up "a solution" of adding an access panel with a half dozen sheet metal screws in the wheel well opening (which pretty much requires you to jack up the car and yank off the tire) is the height of stupidity.

The asswipe has to be the offspring of the fool at General Motors that thought it was "reasonable" to expect mechanics to put the 1977 Pontiac Grand LeMans up on a rack and yank the right front wheel off in order to change the back two spark plugs on the left bank of the big block 400. :caning:

.

 

[NotWise]

I drove a 1977 VW bus for a few years. There was a very short list of things that you could do without dropping the engine.

 

[GoldenCojones]

I drove a 1977 VW bus for a few years. There was a very short list of things that you could do without dropping the engine.

That seems a very reasonable punishment for getting one of those traffic inhibitors out on the road I never ever saw one of em doing over ninety. Always in the way slowing me down.

But I did love them in the "Convoy" song!

 

[sr71plt]

Assuming you don't start off with having the malady of essential tremors when you pick up a package to open, consider yourself lucky.

 

[NotWise]

That seems a very reasonable punishment for getting one of those traffic inhibitors out on the road I never ever saw one of em doing over ninety. Always in the way slowing me down.

But I did love them in the "Convoy" song!

My high school-aged daughters and their friends had a running fantasy. They would take the bus on a cross-country tour, picking up cute hitch-hiking boys and making them happy.

Plot bunny if you like, but you would need to make your characters a little older.

 

[Hypoxia]

Long ago whilst working in emergency services I acquired two West German-made 'rescue' scissors, the kind used to cut through seat belts and perform minor amputations, like fingers, toes, ears, etc. Those tools usually work on such packaging. Sometimes tin snips are needed. Yeah, those packages are tough little fuckers.

 

[TxRad]

I'll trade mutilating the idiot that invented that packaging for ten minutes (and a full waiver of immunity from prosecution) with the jackass engineer at Chrysler that decided wedging the battery into a nearly inaccessible position underneath a labyrinth of hoses and cables in the 2004 model Intrepids was somehow an intelligent design.

That insane idea was bad enough, but to come up "a solution" of adding an access panel with a half dozen sheet metal screws in the wheel well opening (which pretty much requires you to jack up the car and yank off the tire) is the height of stupidity.

The asswipe has to be the offspring of the fool at General Motors that thought it was "reasonable" to expect mechanics to put the 1977 Pontiac Grand LeMans up on a rack and yank the right front wheel off in order to change the back two spark plugs on the left bank of the big block 400. :caning:

.

The battery on my 05 Intrepid now resides in the trunk.

The Sunbird from around that time with the V-8 required you to unbolt and jack up the motor to change any of the plugs. I had an auto shop back then and solved that problem. Jack up the car, pull the front tires, cut two access panels in the inner fender well. Change the plugs and put rubber panels over the holes. A pain in the ass the first time but after that, easy.

All auto designers should have to work as a mechanic for six years before they can design anything.

 

[JKendallDane]

The battery on my 05 Intrepid now resides in the trunk.

The Sunbird from around that time with the V-8 required you to unbolt and jack up the motor to change any of the plugs. I had an auto shop back then and solved that problem. Jack up the car, pull the front tires, cut two access panels in the inner fender well. Change the plugs and put rubber panels over the holes. A pain in the ass the first time but after that, easy.

All auto designers should have to work as a mechanic for six years before they can design anything.

I seriously thought about the "move it to the trunk" idea with my Intrepid.

Didn't one of the Boss Mustangs back in the early 70's require you unbolt the motor mounts and use an engine lift to shift it up a few inches in order to change the oil filter? That was an Einstein move and half by some dumbass engineer.

I'm not totally certain about that but it's something that rings a bell from my college days working in one of those "old fashioned" service stations.

.

 

[oggbashan]

I remember my second car, a Morris Oxford MO 1951. The clearances on the valves were only listed with the engine cold. I soon found out why.

To adjust the tappets on the side-valve engine you had to lean over the wing holding a mirror to see what you were doing. Then you needed two thin spanners and a feeler gauge. But all those were useless without a torch for illumination. Total requirement? At least five hands.

The valves had split collets. The handbook recommended using grease to hold them in position while you changed a valve, or after removing it to grind it into the valve seat. The grease didn't hold the collets in place, and they dropped past the valve into the sump, which you couldn't remove when the engine was in place.

After one failed attempt to replace a badly burned valve I had dropped both halves of the split collet into the sump. I called out the local garage who towed the Oxford away. They removed the engine to change the valve, an easy operation on a work bench. They removed the sump, cleaned it out, and presented me, not with the two split collets I had lost, but fourteen. The rest had been dropped by previous mechanics trying to adjust valves with the engine in situ.

That model of Morris Oxford had a reputation for burning valves so working on the valves was a frequent activity.

 

[Boxlicker101]

My high school-aged daughters and their friends had a running fantasy. They would take the bus on a cross-country tour, picking up cute hitch-hiking boys and making them happy.

Plot bunny if you like, but you would need to make your characters a little older.

High school seniors would be okay, but you would have to squeeze in the fact they were at least 18 years old.

 

[lovecraft68]

I have one of those x-acto scalpel type knives for hobbyists that slices through anything, but you have to be careful because man do those little finger cuts bleed a lot.

 

[oggbashan]

Childproof medicines

I have had problems with childproof medicine containers for years.

My father, then in a residential home, used to take 30 different tablets a day. All came in childproof containers despite there being no children in the home. He couldn't open them. Many of the staff couldn't open them, and when they did, they transferred the contents to poorly labelled alternatives so confusion was possible.

In theory it is possible to ask for the tablets to be supplied in containers that are NOT childproof, but that requires extensive paperwork and a doctor's request for each type of medicine, and increased cost to the patient.

The home's solution was to work with the visiting doctor to reduce my father's medication by improved diet. After six months they managed to reduce his drugs from 30 tablets a day to NONE, and maintained that for six years.

But the problem of childproof containers for drugs for the elderly still exists.

My wife can't even open over-the-counter vitamin supplement bottles. I do it for her. She isn't disabled, nor are her hands weak, she just finds some of them impossible. One time when I was away she resorted to a meat cleaver to open a small pot of vitamin pills.

 

[Ewobbit]

Packaging? Say... how come it takes a damn kid to open childproof crap? Someone did not think that through.

 

[Handley_Page]

Packaging? Say... how come it takes a damn kid to open childproof crap? Someone did not think that through.

How very true.
---
On the subject of daft design in cars, I refer to the buffoon who did not think too deeply about the location of the battery in the original Mini: In the boot.
It took several accidents and fires to convince the makers that there was a problem. As the metal "cover" descended, it shorted the battery terminal. . . .

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I always just tear the paper backing off.

 

[JKendallDane]

My wife can't even open over-the-counter vitamin supplement bottles. I do it for her. She isn't disabled, nor are her hands weak, she just finds some of them impossible. One time when I was away she resorted to a meat cleaver to open a small pot of vitamin pills.

Now that's a woman that should be running a country instead of a household! She knows how to FIX a problem!

.

 

[PennLady]

I always just tear the paper backing off.

I do that when I can, but when it's all a blister pack, that's not an option. And that's when I pull out my Black & Decker rechargeable electric scissors.

 

[Serafina1210]

I keep thinking there must be a plot bunny hiding somewhere in this thread, but I just can't find it.