Litiquette IV

Which of the following is the most likely reason you post in a thread

  • Thread title

    Votes: 36 14.5%
  • Thread topic

    Votes: 141 56.9%
  • Who recently posted

    Votes: 22 8.9%
  • What was recently posted

    Votes: 44 17.7%
  • Who the OP is

    Votes: 5 2.0%

  • Total voters
    248
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Some men just need to have their ego's stroked. I think in general men are more fragile than women. Not in the physical sense but in the emotional/ego way.

I'm not so sure. Yes, men are emotional, but I believe women to be much more so. Or, at least at one time they were. It doesn't seem to be the norm nowadays. Women are becoming more and more masculine every day.

Competitiveness, I guess, seemed to have appeared throughout my entire marriage. I had no intent on ever challenging him. It just seemed that everything to him was interpreted that way. From the slightest of sharing any of my ideas, the voicing of any concerns, the slightest hesitation on my part in anything, even defending myself against him at times when I truly had no other choice. It went much deeper than just losing a game. I didn't view my marriage as a game. Perhaps, he did. I learned rather early on to acquiesce.

I have tried to chalk it up to his having a very large ego. He did. So what? Like you, I knew that from the start. I knew most times where to be mindful of his feelings.

Looking back, I have often wondered did I unintentionally emasculate him? Did I disrespect him other than in times when I felt no other way than to protect myself? And I sincerely don't believe that I did. Was it because he sensed a lack of trust on my part and interpreted that as a challenge? Because if so, he would have been correct. I did not trust him. And therein lay the crux of my marriage.

So, in reference to yesterday's question, and part of the reason why I wasn't able to answer it then... No, sadly, I don't think the past can be recreated. And, yes, you can spend a lifetime trying to. It won't happen. What's done is done. We grieve, and then we look forward, continue living and learning, and trying never to forget the lessons of our past.

Oh, cynical, sad, deep, emotional me today. Yikes!
 
I'm not so sure. Yes, men are emotional, but I believe women to be much more so. Or, at least at one time they were. It doesn't seem to be the norm nowadays. Women are becoming more and more masculine every day.

Competitiveness, I guess, seemed to have appeared throughout my entire marriage. I had no intent on ever challenging him. It just seemed that everything to him was interpreted that way. From the slightest of sharing any of my ideas, the voicing of any concerns, the slightest hesitation on my part in anything, even defending myself against him at times when I truly had no other choice. It went much deeper than just losing a game. I didn't view my marriage as a game. Perhaps, he did. I learned rather early on to acquiesce.

I have tried to chalk it up to his having a very large ego. He did. So what? Like you, I knew that from the start. I knew most times where to be mindful of his feelings.

Looking back, I have often wondered did I unintentionally emasculate him? Did I disrespect him other than in times when I felt no other way than to protect myself? And I sincerely don't believe that I did. Was it because he sensed a lack of trust on my part and interpreted that as a challenge? Because if so, he would have been correct. I did not trust him. And therein lay the crux of my marriage.

So, in reference to yesterday's question, and part of the reason why I wasn't able to answer it then... No, sadly, I don't think the past can be recreated. And, yes, you can spend a lifetime trying to. It won't happen. What's done is done. We grieve, and then we look forward, continue living and learning, and trying never to forget the lessons of our past.

Oh, cynical, sad, deep, emotional me today. Yikes!

I don't really detect cynicism, just deep introspection, which is good for the soul. It helps with the healing.
 
Oh, thank you, DS. Hugs right back.

It has been quite the journey. Many, many lessons, and still many more to come. :)
at least you are learning.....I just keep making the same mistakes, over and over. Celibacy is sounding better and better....:rolleyes:
 
at least you are learning.....I just keep making the same mistakes, over and over. Celibacy is sounding better and better....:rolleyes:

I've also made many of the same mistakes over and over. That doesn't mean we aren't learning.

Slow learners, okay? We're slow learners. Haha!
 
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I wouldn't want to assume anything.....:)

Yes, that's probably best. I already share a couch with someone, anyhow.

And celibacy, DS? Come on! Just start leading with your heart instead of your penis! You don't have to be celibate to do that! Follow your heart and it will never steer you wrong.
 
Yes, that's probably best. I already share a couch with someone, anyhow.

And celibacy, DS? Come on! Just start leading with your heart instead of your penis! You don't have to be celibate to do that! Follow your heart and it will never steer you wrong.

True dat. Unless it does lead you wrong. In which case you enjoy the ride and appreciate the exit. Such is life.
 
Yes, that's probably best. I already share a couch with someone, anyhow.

And celibacy, DS? Come on! Just start leading with your heart instead of your penis! You don't have to be celibate to do that! Follow your heart and it will never steer you wrong.

Actually, that's who usually gets me in the most trouble. If I followed my cock, I might just get laid, and get out.....but NO, I have to fall in love :rolleyes:
 
So maybe, just maybe that was a little too abstract.

So after watching the big basketball game in the last night (apologies for being even more American centric than normal on this one) this came to mind: Is the thrill of winning greater than the despair of losing?

In a mathematical sense, if you could assign a numerical value to both, positive for winning and negative for losing, would the sum of the two be equal to zero? Or is winning so much better than losing that the sum is positive. Or does losing suck so much that the sum is negative?

And then to go even deeper, if the sum is negative should the game even be played if allowing for "the greater good?"

I'm competitve in my career. *Losing* isn't a sentiment that I do well in. However, doesn't it all depend on your perspective? You can *lose* but view it as an opportunity to learn and grow. You can win and actually gain absolutely nothing.

In my personal life, it gets a little muddy. Who do you compete with other than yourself. You can drive yourself insane with comparing yourself to others but that's a always a losing battle.

As far as assigning a value to winning or losing and the collective sum of the two? It's arbitrary.
 
I just raced my boyfriend down the hallway of our apartment building and lost -- winner gets a blow job. Stunned, I challenged him to a rematch and lost again. Now I owe two blow jobs. Not sure how this applies to the original question but I have a hunch it's tangentially related.
 
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