Polyamory and new partners

[James1324]

.....

 

[SweetErika]

I think it's best to tell people up front because it's not our society's norm and many people are definitely not OK with pursuing a nonmonogamous relationship. It's also important to practice the honesty and open communication we preach, no?

Seeking out other poly/open relationship people can be a really good way to go, too.

 

[littlecordelera]

To answer your first sentence, my husband and I are members of various swing clubs. Once you walk in the door, everything is understood. If you are a single guy however, that could be difficult, since most swing clubs do not allow single males.

As for the rest of your inquiry, when I was dating, as soon as it looked like a guy was interested in more than some casual dates, I was straight up and told him that I had no intentions of ever being monogamous. If he ran away that was fine. It saved both of us from a lot of wasted effort.

 

[malefica]

I would bring it up before even going on a date. My Master has the right to veto people, as he would understandable not want me to date a twatbadger because any negative fallout would impact him - more so than a relationship ending fallout if the prospective partner was a tool.

 

[Sheana_V]

I'm inclined to say that it's not relevant until it is relevant. Which is to say I don't bring it up unless I think I may want to date this person, which is definitely not before a first date, and might not even be before we're in bed together.

 

[polyroaster]

polyroaster

Well James, my wife seduced me while a buddy went to the liquor store to resupply. He returned to find us humping away on the living room floor. Then she let him bang her from behind whilst gobbling my pole. That was how she started her alpha polyamor spitroasting with me. Since then, she just asks me if it's ok to gangbang all of our drinking buddies when we party at our place. Of course, I give her my blessing, then we spitroast her or she does guys one at a time in front of everyone or alone. She also cheats on me all the time and then tells me the details. There's not much ado. As long as I get my turn and remain king of the waterhole. The other guys don't care how well used she is -they just want thier turn or turns. With a woman like this, it's best not to cheat -just wait your turn and be supportive. Great gal.

 

[polyroaster]

Well, my slutwife just strips when she wants our drinking buddies to bang her.

 

[malefica]

I would mention it prior to any demonstrated interest becoming more serious.

 

[Freebird49]

Polyamory

I'm interested in hearing how other poly folk bring up the topic of their poly-ness while dating or meeting new people. Having been monogamous (and not terribly happy) for many years, I eventually moved to polyamory, and have found this to be a tricky subject at times.

Do you tell people straight out before dating that you're polyamorous and not interested in an exclusive relationship? Do you bring it up on a first date? Or do you attend poly events to meet new potential partners?

Any and all experiences/comments welcome.

One of my sex partners is polyamorous. No big deal for me. She was open about it and doesn't get what she needs from her main partner and gets it from me.

 

[GingerFireFly]

I've met people online where you tend to talk more openly more quickly, but I've also formed relationships in the real world. Generally when at the flirting stage with someone and the topic of my relationship comes up I just say we aren't completely monogamous and only explain more if they seem interested and pursue the hint.

 

[Eliphaz]

"Well, it's complicated" can be a good lead-in. But in general I feel like I'm unlikely to be in a conversation verging on the sexual with someone who's going to be shocked or appalled by the revelation anyway, unless I've really badly misread them.