Ask a MtF TG a question

[stickygirl]

Hi Rainey, Brad xx

This popped up on my radar this evening
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b0717ssf/newsnight-15022016
Newsnight is a heavy-weight discussion prog on the BBC and this features at 32mins, a discussion between LGBT activist Peter Tatchell and Trans activist Paris Lees. It dredges up the news about the she-devil Germaine Greer, who was refused a platform at a university, because of her racist and transphobic views. Tatchell apparently co-signed a letter criticising the student representative who pursued the ban, which has led to criticism of him. ( Are you keeping up? )
If you're able to view this ( it may be UK only ), Paris refrains from adding to the criticism, but suggests that there comes a stage when it is pointless to engage with someone (Greer) who has persistently and consistently attacked the existence of transgender people, and trans women in particular.
I agree, but not because I oppose debate. I agree, because burnt out hasbeens like Greer can only earn income from the lecture circuit by being increasingly aggressive and outspoken because the media love that shit. It keeps her and her ilk in the papers. People like Greer hate being ignored and THAT is how she ought to be dealt with.... a bit like Trump actually.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Noting that some of the facts Tatchell and Greer assert in that letter are disputed (if it's the same one I'm thinking of). A lot of the "censorship" fuss was about Kate Smurthwaite's comedy gig at Goldsmith College being cancelled, supposedly because she'd offended the campus feminist society - but Goldsmith's version is that they cancelled because she'd only sold eight tickets, which presumably wouldn't even cover the costs of running the show.

 

[stickygirl]

Yea, I'm confused by this whole stormlette. The article opens that a debate about re-redicalising feminism, at Canterbury's Christchurch college, was not attended by an invited participant because she did not want to share a platform with Thatchell, because of his letter defending Greers right to deliver her tired old message at another university-backed event ( Cardiff I think?! ).
Kinda short of news on Newsnight methinks...

 

[BradBigBrain]

Ms. Greer's MO has always been to make statements that could be construed as contoversial and inflammatory. I'm old enough to remember when her book The Female Eunuch came out and had to look up what a Eunuch was and knowing that women did not have that particular equipment to even have them removed was odd to me. I have never read that book, but I never thought she was the smartest pundit out there. Yet she seeming claimed to be speaking for all women...

This is from Wikipedia so you know it's true...

Greer argues that men hate women, though the latter do not realise this and are taught to hate themselves.[5]

"The title is an indication of the problem," Greer told The New York Times. "Women have somehow been separated from their libido, from their faculty of desire, from their sexuality. They've become suspicious about it. Like beasts, for example, who are castrated in farming in order to serve their master's ulterior motives—to be fattened or made docile—women have been cut off from their capacity for action. It's a process that sacrifices vigor for delicacy and succulence, and one that's got to be changed."[6]

Greer argues that change had to come about via revolution, not evolution. Women should get to know and come to accept their own bodies, taste their own menstrual blood, and give up celibacy and monogamy. Yet they should not burn their bras. "Bras are a ludicrous invention," she wrote, "but if you make bralessness a rule, you're just subjecting yourself to yet another repression."[7]

 

[stickygirl]

On the subject of haters and TERFs ( Greer ), here's a refreshing take on the relationship between feminists and trans women, from the Independent.

Other news: went to a brilliant gig last night with the Turin Brakes. I didn't get the t-short but I have just downloaded their latest album. Recommended

 

[dacoach44]

Ms. Greer's MO has always been to make statements that could be construed as contoversial and inflammatory. I'm old enough to remember when her book The Female Eunuch came out and had to look up what a Eunuch was and knowing that women did not have that particular equipment to even have them removed was odd to me. I have never read that book, but I never thought she was the smartest pundit out there. Yet she seeming claimed to be speaking for all women...

This is from Wikipedia so you know it's true...

What an idiot; bad as Steinem or that Albright idiot rattling on about her sweetie; the crook Hillary.

 

[stickygirl]

I've quoted Paris Lees' before and this I couldn't have put any better, so apologies for the quote
"More stupid media requests this morning, and more thoughts for my polemic on the shite British media:

1. The initial piece we'd like you to write is the argument against this:
"The transgender craze has gone too far. Four-year-olds should not be being counselled for gender concerns."
It’s a provocative headline, but we want to fully explore the debate.

2. I'm working on a piece that explores trans women's response to the idea of "trans privilege". As I'm sure you are aware, a recurring criticism of trans women, particularly in the public eye, is whether their 'male privilege' has affected their ability to "understand / appreciate womanhood" until that point. We'd like to give trans women a chance to respond in a feature that collates the opinions of a variety of trans women from a range of backgrounds.

What do these pieces have in common? In both instances I am being told
"This is what some people say about people like you [insert: Kids can't possibly know if they are trans at the age of four/trans women will never really understand what it is like to be a woman because they weren't raised as female]. What do you have to say in response Paris?"

Who are the people who say the trans craze has gone too far? Who are the people who say trans women can't fully appreciate womanhood and, by implication, are not full or 'real' women? People who are not themselves trans no doubt, the same people who mock people like me and try to deny our community equal rights.

What is this 'trans privilege'? Can I have some? It sounds great!

"The disability craze has gone too far".

"The homosexual craze has gone too far."

Would a journalist insult a disabled person or a gay person asking them to 'debate' those statements? In 2016? Maybe they would. I don't wish to appropriate other people's struggles as I know disabled people and gay people still get asked stupid shit all the time. But I'd be surprised if a journalist were to be quite so crass about other sensitive diversity issues - correct me if I'm wrong, I really want to know if this happens to other minorities in this way.

Why do I have to respond to people who do not know what they are talking about? Why am I constantly expected to defend the fact that I am who I am and that I have been certain of that since my earliest memory? Why are trans people constantly put into a reactive/defensive position? And then told we are touchy and have chip on our shoulder and don't love a free exchange of ideas when we eventually get sick of it?

And you can't win. Because if you are born male and tell people you are a girl at the age of four, as I did, you are told you are too young to know, as I was. So you are bullied and forced to grow up as a boy. And then you are told, as an adult, well you're not really a woman because you didn't have a female childhood and you had male privilege growing up

Then you are expected to explain all of this over and over and over and over in the name of a good 'debate'. These people think we are sitting at home waiting to answer their stupid questions about us. I get requests like this every day and could easily spend the rest of my life responding to all this bullshit and not getting paid for it. I've had enough. I have literally had enough. I'm thinking of drafting a standard response to shit like this to explain why I object to it so much because they just clearly do not get it. In this nicest possible way, I pretty much told both of these journalists to fuck off."

This totally nails it for me, though I'm not in the public eye like she is. All the same, before I'm allowed to engage in a discussion about anything to do with trans, I find I have to justify who I am to some people. That thing about 'you're not a real woman because you weren't raised that way' versus 'a child can't know its gender at four years old' is basically saying 'I don't care what you say, I don't believe you la-la-la-la'.
And yea, that kinda fucks you off

 

[Bramblethorn]

And you can't win. Because if you are born male and tell people you are a girl at the age of four, as I did, you are told you are too young to know, as I was. So you are bullied and forced to grow up as a boy. And then you are told, as an adult, well you're not really a woman because you didn't have a female childhood

And frankly it's bullshit to pretend that even all cis girls are defined by some standard model "female childhood". Some girls get brought up by the Kardashians and some are carrying water-buckets ten miles a day at age six. Some girls are raised for a future as child-brides and some in lesbian feminist households. Some have brothers and some don't. Many girls experience gender discrimination but even there that experience is quite different for a girl from a poor black family than from a rich white one (and it's not like trans girls don't experience discrimination!) My partner is a cis woman and she's autistic, so her experience of girlhood was quite different from her neurotypical classmates. etc. etc. etc.

The "female childhood" thing is a rationalisation for people who've spent their lives arguing against the idea that women should be constrained by their biology at birth, but want to constrain the definition of womanhood on biology at birth.

(Cranky at the moment, some disgusting homophobic/transphobic bullshit going down in Australian politics; if any of you feels like signing this petition to protect the "Safe Schools" program it'd be much appreciated.)

 

[stickygirl]

"The "female childhood" thing is a rationalisation for people who've spent their lives arguing against the idea that women should be constrained by their biology at birth, but want to constrain the definition of womanhood on biology at birth."

That's neat and thanks Bramble - your words always help me calm down a bit *hugs*
I posted that petition on my Tumblr x

 

[stickygirl]

Ask a trans woman - and here's why

To a transgender person, this is old news but it seems like 'they' have finally found a use for us and *stands back in amazement* some credibility in what we can tell you about discrimination based on gender in the work place

https://newrepublic.com/article/119239/transgender-people-can-explain-why-women-dont-advance-work

 

[dacoach44]

Amazing and believable. I vote for merit and hard work.

 

[stickygirl]

Amazing and believable. I vote for merit and hard work.

ditto
What is heartening about that article is how it looks past what's in our pants and takes trans people seriously for who they are not what they are. Although it doesn't add up to much, our understanding of gender in society is far more informed than any number of expert social commentators. Ok so, we know how to hold a dick too, but
The article suggests that the opportunity to assk the opinion of trans people ( woah ) is a window that is closing, because trans people are able to transition earlier and before they've been able to experience the adult workplace, but I disagree. I think they will always be people who only work out their gender after puberty... it's a sliding scale

 

[stickygirl]

Well here's something non-political to report - do I hear *phew* from my readers and lurkers?
I've just been watching a vlog from another trans woman and now I feel like such a jerk. She's had almost identical symptoms to me: depression, emotional swings and... migraines. I've never had a migraine before, but a couple of months back I got this weird thing with my vision, but it didn't get followed by a headache. It's only happened a couple of times and there were no other symptoms, though like her, I did wonder if I was having stroke or something *pfft*. Apparently it can be caused by too much estrogen so... I'm going to make an appointment and get another blood test done. I'll keep you posted
Oh and the other symptom is zero sex drive. Yup, that too.
( and I get crabby at Lit posters for no big reason, so Jackstud, if you're reading I'm truly sorry but I had to be speak up )

 

[Bramblethorn]

I've never had a migraine before, but a couple of months back I got this weird thing with my vision, but it didn't get followed by a headache.

I used to get those; mine were always followed by headache and sometimes severe nausea, but some people just get the visual effects. Bit scary if you're not expecting it!

 

[haurni]

I've just been watching a vlog from another trans woman and now I feel like such a jerk. She's had almost identical symptoms to me: depression, emotional swings and... migraines.

You feel like a jerk because you've never had a migraine (possibly until now)?? Whut?

 

[CountryGuy2]

I think it's called a silent migrane. You get the visual effects but not the headache.

 

[stickygirl]

I used to get those; mine were always followed by headache and sometimes severe nausea, but some people just get the visual effects. Bit scary if you're not expecting it!

I used to get headaches that made me throw up when I was a kid

You feel like a jerk because you've never had a migraine (possibly until now)?? Whut?

Ha! No... I mean, I was annoyed I didn't figure out what it was at the time.

I think it's called a silent migrane. You get the visual effects but not the headache.

Cool. Now I know it wasn't a stroke or something sinister I feel happier. It hasn't happened for a few months now, so fingers crossed x

 

[coati]

Well here's something non-political to report - do I hear *phew* from my readers and lurkers?

Stickygirl,

As a political activist myself, I totally get why your email thread includes so much political content. Things are changing, and things still need to change. This is one of the major issues of our generation.

I just want to say, as a lurker and occasional participant in this thread, the nature of your writing makes people care about your health and happiness. You have very effectively humanized this issue.

Coati

 

[Bramblethorn]

I used to get headaches that made me throw up when I was a kid

Yeah, sounds like recurring migraines. You might also keep an eye out for prodrome and postdrome. It took me a while to figure out that I'd sometimes get postdrome after a migraine, but understanding it made it easier to deal with - the difference between "I feel crappy because life is awful" and "I feel crappy because of a biological thing that's going to pass soon". And if you do get recognisable predrome, at least you're forewarned.

(Anybody who gets recurring headaches should go to a doctor, against the small possibility that it's something worse than migraine. But if you were getting them from childhood and you're still around, probably not a tumour!)

The visual symptoms are weird. As best I understand it, what's happening is a disturbance to the blood flow that disrupts the part of the brain that processes visual information. With mine, I could still see things but I couldn't interpret them. Like, I could see pink and white stripes, and I remembered that we had a set of pyjamas that colour, but even knowing what I was looking at I couldn't visualise the shape.

 

[stickygirl]

Do they look like this?
https://45.media.tumblr.com/549f125db658a390e1af90ebc0ceaed9/tumblr_o3dmrnYInZ1rx9ovro1_540.gif

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[stickygirl]

Thanks for the various insights ( no pun intended ) and next time it happens ( hoping it doesn't ) I'm going to note what I've eaten/stress levels/environment etc to see if maybe something triggers them in me. First up I'm due a docs appt soon and I'll mention the link to estrogen levels and ask about T level too. It's about time I snapped out of this state of mind.
Howeever...
This ought to be good news - and it is good, but it makes for tough reading for me. It's a guide issued for the media by GLAAD aimed at educating them to get their facts straight and to report accurately with respect to the campaign to restrict numerous legal rights for transgender people.
I read the accompanying guide pdf, but it made me feel sick because it sounds like my voice screaming in my head. It's essential information and it’s fantastic that GLAAD have put this together - but it feels like a death row appeal

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

Do they look like this?
https://45.media.tumblr.com/549f125db658a390e1af90ebc0ceaed9/tumblr_o3dmrnYInZ1rx9ovro1_540.gif

Kind of......... except my turn black instead of white. Just like a shade slowly dropping down over your eye until you see (for me ) black. Then after a while the shade
lifts. First time it happened to me I was out hunting and I just had to stand there a while. It took me a long time before I ever told anyone, I mean like years long time. Finally told my Doctors as I had a atypical migraine (thought I was having a stroke) that would not go away and they asked me if I had any eye abnormalities. Many years later I have the atypical still.

Sometimes it is like looking through a foggy window.

May I say You worry me sometimes. I know you want to help everyone, but sometimes you need to just sit back and enjoy who and what you are, A person who many love. Hold your friends and those who care, close and be happy, if you may.

edit. Yep that's migraines,,,, the picture did not show up at first,, that is what I call the foggy glass .. Believe it or not, my doctors gave me a caffeine pill to help keep them at bay. Now I just drink much coffee and enjoy. Hugs

 

[Bramblethorn]

Do they look like this?
https://45.media.tumblr.com/549f125db658a390e1af90ebc0ceaed9/tumblr_o3dmrnYInZ1rx9ovro1_540.gif

The mild ones were a lot like that, yeah. I tended to get them while I was relaxing on the computer after work (apparently "relax after stress" is a common migraine trigger, which seems a bit unfair).

It'd start out with a tiny spot in my vision... you know how you catch a flash of sun reflected off something, and the rest of your vision is fine, but there's just a little spot where you're dazzled? Like that, and at first I wouldn't notice, I'd just think I must've looked at a light for a moment or something. But instead of fading quickly, it'd hang around and get bigger until I had trouble reading stuff.

The big one I had - I don't think it could be described entirely with an image, because it wasn't just about what I saw but about how my brain was post-processing that. Like, normally you see dark patch, edge, light patch, shading of colour, and your brain fits all those together and says "this is a bed, this is a ball, this is a dog?" That part was malfunctioning.

But as close as I can get it: sort of blurred, sort of shimmering, sort of fragmented, like seeing things through a kaleidoscope. If you do an image search on "picture of migraine aura", none of those are exactly like what I got, but a lot like it.

And then the absolute worst headache of my life, like a kebab skewer through my eye, and then horrible horrible nausea. I'm kinda glad I experienced the full deal once, as a matter of scientific curiosity, but very glad it hasn't been a regular event. The little ones were bad enough.

It often runs in families; my mother had them.

 

[haurni]

It's a guide issued for the media by GLAAD aimed at educating them to get their facts straight and to report accurately with respect to the campaign to restrict numerous legal rights for transgender people.

It's at least a step in the right direction toward educating people. If they'll bother to listen, that is.