Another "New to this, looking for advice" thread (sorry!)

[Runningshoes09]

It took some time for me to admit that what my husband and I are into is BDSM. (You can skip to the * at the bottom for my questions)
I stayed away from 50 shades when it came out. "People trying to sell trash and smut" is how I looked at it.
I asked my husband to be more aggressive in bed and we had sex in public places but that was it. 90% of our sex was vanilla missionary. Good but always the same. Until I caught my husband watching porn. It actually caused a riff in our relationship as it was negatively impacting our marriage.
After a few days of talking we were able to FINALLY be open and honest with our fantasies and fetishes. We are still tame but surprisingly we add up well. We both like to be submissive but we also both like being dominant. He prefers to be submission e more but still loves dominance. I like dominance more but love submission as well. He is into pain play and likes to receive where apparently I enjoy giving (more than I expected). We both like the idea of being tied up and tying up. He has shown interest in role play where he is my slave (Yes please!) And wants me to role play as a cop and torture him haha.
We are just beginning though and taking things very slowly. I tied him up a couple nights ago and wow! Amazing night. We kept away from pain for the most part. A little biting and scratching, both choking, but that was it.used ice, blind fold, and just kept it soft and fun. He's repeatedly claimed it was the best night of his life. Our sex life will never be the same.

I've come here because there's just so much to learn and I have a ton of questions. Like...
*Best place to get the clothes and "toys" online? A thing about the clothes is that I'm pregnant (haha) and already half way through the pregnancy and my belly is growing my husband wants to see me in a nice black see through outfit for my nights where I "teach him a lesson" but its hard to find something that will look good on a pregnant woman.
*What do you start with when you begin pain play? I don't want the first experience to be bad. I want to take it slow and easy so it goes as well as a couple nights ago.
*What's the best our of the whip/paddle/flogger or do you have a different preference?
*Any tips for beginner dominants, submissives, or pain play?
*any tips for police woman role play? We are hoping to stay away from the cheesy side of things. I plan to introduce light pain play with restraint when I do this for the first time. From what I gather he wants to be "punished" by a cop.
*If we act on this Dom/sub/pain every night (we have always had sex every day regularly) will it get boring? Will our fantasies start getting crazier (like anal play, degradation, humiliation)?
*Any last minute info or advice on BDSM at all?
Its so crazy. I knew I would have liked being dominated but not all of this and not even tied up. Now it's all I think about. My husband as well. In the last two days we have had sex five times. We have just been that revved up by this experience. This has been so much fun!

 

[SpunThings]

It took some time for me to admit that what my husband and I are into is BDSM. (You can skip to the * at the bottom for my questions)
I stayed away from 50 shades when it came out. "People trying to sell trash and smut" is how I looked at it.
I asked my husband to be more aggressive in bed and we had sex in public places but that was it. 90% of our sex was vanilla missionary. Good but always the same. Until I caught my husband watching porn. It actually caused a riff in our relationship as it was negatively impacting our marriage.
After a few days of talking we were able to FINALLY be open and honest with our fantasies and fetishes. We are still tame but surprisingly we add up well. We both like to be submissive but we also both like being dominant. He prefers to be submission e more but still loves dominance. I like dominance more but love submission as well. He is into pain play and likes to receive where apparently I enjoy giving (more than I expected). We both like the idea of being tied up and tying up. He has shown interest in role play where he is my slave (Yes please!) And wants me to role play as a cop and torture him haha.
We are just beginning though and taking things very slowly. I tied him up a couple nights ago and wow! Amazing night. We kept away from pain for the most part. A little biting and scratching, both choking, but that was it.used ice, blind fold, and just kept it soft and fun. He's repeatedly claimed it was the best night of his life. Our sex life will never be the same.

I've come here because there's just so much to learn and I have a ton of questions. Like...
*Best place to get the clothes and "toys" online? A thing about the clothes is that I'm pregnant (haha) and already half way through the pregnancy and my belly is growing my husband wants to see me in a nice black see through outfit for my nights where I "teach him a lesson" but its hard to find something that will look good on a pregnant woman.
*What do you start with when you begin pain play? I don't want the first experience to be bad. I want to take it slow and easy so it goes as well as a couple nights ago.
*What's the best our of the whip/paddle/flogger or do you have a different preference?
*Any tips for beginner dominants, submissives, or pain play?
*any tips for police woman role play? We are hoping to stay away from the cheesy side of things. I plan to introduce light pain play with restraint when I do this for the first time. From what I gather he wants to be "punished" by a cop.
*If we act on this Dom/sub/pain every night (we have always had sex every day regularly) will it get boring? Will our fantasies start getting crazier (like anal play, degradation, humiliation)?
*Any last minute info or advice on BDSM at all?
Its so crazy. I knew I would have liked being dominated but not all of this and not even tied up. Now it's all I think about. My husband as well. In the last two days we have had sex five times. We have just been that revved up by this experience. This has been so much fun!

I'll answer what I can.

It doesn't have to escalate. You may find your interests change over time, or you want to introduce new things. That's pretty normal. I don't know about you, but I'm not bored with it being mostly the same. Although I don't think in my relationship things will always be the same. You can save really goid things for those special occasions if you like, so they don't become mundane.

As for pain, there's a lot you can do with your own hands. Pinching can be intense if you find the right spots. Underarms, and under the upper arm tends to be sensitive. Genitals are obvious. The chest and neck and sides tend to be sensitive too. You can find all kinds of things around the house to get creative. Clothespins, spatulas or wooden spoons.

Read up on the safety of impact play so you know the safe spots. It's mostly fleshy areas like the buttocks, thighs, and the like.

 

[Primalex]

*Best place to get the clothes and "toys" online?

Amazon. Just because the answer works for most countries.

*What do you start with when you begin pain play?

Lock the dog out from the bedroom.

*What's the best our of the whip/paddle/flogger or do you have a different preference?

The belt. It's just so amusingly domestic.

*Any tips for beginner dominants, submissives, or pain play?

Stop when you don't want to before you have to stop before you have to.

*any tips for police woman role play?

Pepper spray. Then you'll figure out fast if he prefers the cheesy side of it.

*If we act on this Dom/sub/pain every night (we have always had sex every day regularly) will it get boring? Will our fantasies start getting crazier (like anal play, degradation, humiliation)?

Yes.

 

[Runningshoes09]

Thank you both for the responses. They were helpful. Actually I had no idea about safe zones until it was mentioned above. And when I was talking about different methods for the pain play he suggested I get him in the lower back. The ankfully I'd already looked up the safe zones and was able to educate him because of the response above
I wanted to update on where we are at now. He's only been tied up once so far. He hasn't tied me up yet however he has taken the Dom role twice now and he's starting to think he may want to be Dom more than sub. But he hasn't really been submissive yet so we will know soon. I've been enjoying being submissive but am excited to give dominance a go.
And we have booked a hotel room in town in a couple of weeks. We went online and ordered a ton if beginners "toys" (like whip, flogger, cuffs, bed restraints, etc) and we are trying them all out for the first time at the hotel. We have kids so we kinda feel the hotel idea is perfect.

We aren't leaving the hotel all weekend and are going to be trying dominance and submissive each of us, see how we like it. Along with role play and lots of other fun ideas. Tonight we are trying something new too