Lien_Geller's Story Review Thread.

[IvyMarquis]

Can I just say I'm really feeling these reviews? I'm learning things :| (Whether it will translate well into writing is yet to be seen) I don't have anything up yet (Got one piece done but it's about to get torn to shreds so I can piece it back together again), but I'll definitely be flinging something in here once I'm done with the tidbit I'm wrapping up.

 

[Lien_Geller]

Thanks for the encouragement! I hope I get it out too!

I also agree with your summation on trope usage, but that’s kind of my point. For me, the crux of the story is about a man dealing with the loss of his dead wife. If Jason was a secondary character who occasionally mentioned his wife had died? Fine then, rely on the trope. It’s not going to be a huge part of the story and there’s enough emotional understanding at the simple loss of a loved one to get by on.

Except that’s clearly not the case in this story. Almost all of Jason’s behaviour in a story told from his perspective revolves around the emotional fallout of the loss of his wife. Using simple tropes becomes less useful when you hang more and more stuff on them. As you said, in this story LaRascasse hangs practically everything but the kitchen sink on that trope and it just can’t take the weight. Not without some degree of reinforcement by either adding depth and meaning to that relationship which is so crucially important to the story being told.

I’m also not saying that she needs to be described in detail or that the whole story needs to be derailed to allow for it. Think about the movie Up. It’s a story about a grumpy old man having a crazy adventure in a floating house. Throughout most of the story, the old man is an innately unlikable character who wants everyone to leave him alone. He’s like this because he’s lost his wife. Except this behaviour is completely excused even in his most unlikable moments because for 5 minutes at the start of the movie we got to see why he was the way he was. We were shown what his wife meant to him. This invests us in the characters motivation throughout the entire movie no matter what he’s doing.

Conversely, let’s look at a series that doesn’t do this nearly as well in the Twilight books. In the second one, the girl turns into a corpse-like husk of a human being because her teenage vampire boyfriend dumps her (largely because he’s an idiotic asshole). This not only leads to her essentially becoming a virtual zombie for months, but then goes on to her constantly thinking about and hallucinating him and trying to nearly kill herself in the process. It’s all melodramatic with maximum emotion and virtually no substance to exactly why she feels the way she does other than “but he’s super dreamy!”

Angst, depression and sorrow are all fine and good to have in stories. It’s just that like all emotional drives for main characters in any story, they need to be earned. I think this counts for double in particular when dealing with emotional traits because I think you need to make the reader feel at least some shade of that emotion to relate to the character’s motivation.

I also don’t see any real correlation between quality and popularity and just because something attains the latter doesn’t mean I’ll assume the former. The purpose of this thread isn’t to make writers popular (though I certainly hope that might be a secondary perk) but rather to give a reader’s opinion of what might make them better.

Incidentally, if the story really had the main focus you suggest in that it’s designed for people to take more of an interest in the things that really matter rather than work? Yeah, that fell flat too. As I said, it’d probably make me think more along the lines of: “Don’t trust random investors who grossly overestimate their capabilities and then shirk their responsibilities whilst getting laid. Definitely don’t allow them to persuade you to spend time at parties whilst they allow buggy software to get past release. Basically, most people are dicks. Only trust yourself and it’s probably better to lead a bitter and isolationist lifestyle on a small pacific island somewhere. Possibly in a hollowed out mountain with a few henchmen and a doomsday weapon.”

Ok, a lot of that might be because I have some deep-seated trust issues as well as a life-long struggle in dealing with megalomania. Still, I hope you see my point.

I also don’t remotely have a problem with populist fiction. I’m a fan of, and a writer in the genre, of Sci-Fi and Fantasy. I’m sorry, but you don’t get to play the literary snob card with me, missy! My favourite freakin’ genre is grossly overlooked by literary elitists at every opportunity! I’m all for a rousing chorus of Do you hear the people sing? in regards to that.

I’m also aware that there are exceptions to every rule, and that rules in writing are largely malleable if you know what you’re doing. Still, I do think that all writers should try to understand the “rules” so that they know how to break them and why they’re there in the first place. I think we write better stories that way.

I’ll also say that with this particular story I did feel a bit swindled by the way LaRascasse sold it to me.

This story is much lighter than what I used to write till Jan.

I think in retrospect I read too much into that and was expecting more of a shift in style. I’ll freely admit that I don’t like stories that spend a majority of their time trying to make me feel depressed. I wasn’t wanting sunshine, lollipops and rainbows everywhere but I was expecting a bit more of a difference in what he was putting out there. Instead I got more of the same stuff that I’d complained about before and reviewing it started to feel a lot like hitting my head against a brick wall.

It’s like we’re arguing what colour to paint a room and feels something like this:

“I think we should paint it black.”

“I think that would be super dark and depressing.”

“Ok, I’ll take that on board. What about if we paint it a nice shade of obsidian instead?”

“No, that will still be really dark and depressing.”

“Right, I hear you. How about we mix it up a bit by having it onyx with some nice deep-charcoal highlights.”

“I don’t think you’re hearing me here, that’s just not my idea of a good time.”

“No, no, I see your point. You leave it with me and I’ll have this place done up before you know it!”

“Cool. Thanks!”

24 hours later.

“Here it is, what do you think?”

“You painted it black.”

“What are you talking about? This isn’t black! It’s fierce noir!”

“Dude. God dammit.”

 

[NaokoSmith]

Oh y'know LaRascasse is always messing with categories of dark/light writing. I think his writing is neither as dark as he would imagine nor when he attempts to lighten it, does this necessarily happen.

I felt this was a much better story than some of the stuff he was coming out with a few months ago, which I did find disappointing. It had some edge to it. I thought that was more fun.

Mind you, I still think his best work was Black Sheep. But it didn't go anywhere in the end, he would've had to face up to some realist writing to take it somewhere. That was funny because it was about a realist character who had accidentally been born into a melodramatic soap opera plot.

 

[LaRascasse]

I think I should chime in too about now.

First of all, apologies for the delayed response. I just had the chance to see your review Lien (and the conversation you and Naoko had). As always, criticism is welcome. Thanks for all your thoughts, good and bad.

Onto some of your points -

When I said the tone was lighter, I meant that the general story itself. Things like descriptions, metaphors and dialogue. To be fair, the overall story isn't exactly dark like some others. He lost his wife and is depressed. Even through that, he makes the best of what he has.

As for not describing Lucy's relationship in too much detail, I felt it was too much exposition. My aim was to bring that relationship out through his "talks" with her at night and the marijuana-addled conversation with Jeannie. I felt bringing it out through dialogue was better than straight-up description.

Coming to the characters, Jeannie is there to be protective (albeit in her own paranoid way) comic relief and Amanda is supposed to be a question mark. If you see, she herself never brings up restraining orders or say anything insulting to Jason. It's he who conjures those worst-case scenarios in his head. The point I was trying to get at is he doesn't think he can get Amanda, even though high school is over. He makes an attempt, but never believes he truly deserves her.

Overall, I can see why you were miffed that the story isn't far enough from the darkness as I promised. As Jason, and unfortunately I, can attest to, depression is not really the stuff of happy endings. You mentioned once that a character should not just fail and continue failing. This story is supposed to be a happy ending of sorts (if I ever get the second part out) of someone with depression and how he can pick up the pieces and perhaps be with the girl he had a crush on once.

Once again, thanks for your honest opinion.

 

[Lien_Geller]

JackLuis, I started reading your story today but for several reasons I found it not to my liking. Everything that I didn't like about it was down to my personal tastes, however. So don't feel too put off! It's just not my cup of tea.

For that reason, I won't be reviewing it. Apologies!

 

[JackLuis]

JackLuis, I started reading your story today but for several reasons I found it not to my liking. Everything that I didn't like about it was down to my personal tastes, however. So don't feel too put off! It's just not my cup of tea.

For that reason, I won't be reviewing it. Apologies!

Well perhaps you could tell me in a PM. I am interested in feedback, it doesn't have to be praise.

I am 'Plotting' another story that is similar and I don't want to put in the effort to what I estimate to be 300K words if it's swicky to 'normal' people. I've had similar reactions to the story and no one will tell me what it is that makes it icky.

It seems to be scoring well, but to a small set of readers, I suppose it means I hit a nerve that offends some people. Though I don't know what that is. It's not incest, rape or loving wives type icky. I'd really like your input to help me do better at writing.

Perhaps "My New Best Friend" would be more to your liking. It is about an 'editor'. It has a few typos and such, but it's short, unlike Spreading Seeds.

 

[Lien_Geller]

Here I Go Again!

Right then, just submitted the Christmas Story I wrote for the Winter Holidays contest in timely order for the middle of fucking January. So, whilst I sit here plotting out my next effort and fiddling around with a few other jobs I thought I'd throw down the gauntlet here again if anyone wants me to take a look at their stuff. Check the first post of the thread to see what sorts of stories I'll review! You also might want to check over some other reviews to see if my style will be helpful to you since it's not for the thin-skinned.

Anyone who's already asked me to check something out for them, I put everything on hold as I was desperately trying to meet a deadline (and failed spectacularly) so post up a reminder and I'll get to it when I can. Also remember to note if you'd prefer me to reply to you in private, which I'm happily willing to do.

Looking forward to reading more stuff, or possibly watching twiddling my thumbs if there aren't any takers. ^_^

 

[TxRad]

I'm wondering what your take would be on this story: The High Line

 

[scorpio1121]

O.K. Lien, I will take a stab at getting grilled.I wrote a story a few years ago and just finally posted it a month or so ago.

The story is sort of a non stop sexual encounter. I plan on giving Jack some life and was planning 4 other chapters each with a real story and some since of adventure. Dont feel bad if you dont like this chapter, I was not as fond of the hurried pace it became.

The link is below in my signature,

M

 

[Lien_Geller]

My New Best Friend.

I noticed that before the new posts that JackLuis wanted me to take a look at My New Best Friend, so here’s me taking a look at it!

As always I’ll be reviewing as I’ll be reading, cuz that’s how I roll.

Right, you’ve plonked it in Humour/Satire but you don’t get off to a very humorous start. The “fe-he-shmale” quip in the second paragraph wasn’t so much amusing as it was confusing. It didn’t make me smile so much as think you have the writing equivalent of a speech impediment.

After the first hint of the protagonist being an erotic writing editor we seem plummeted into mundanity as she goes home, thinks about her dull job, meets her husband, puts the kids to bed and then talks about work. By the time she mentions AIG going south I was about ready to go to sleep. It’s difficult to get this kind of thing right, and you seem to be setting up her character a bit more, which is definitely a good thing. It’s just that we see a lot more of what she does rather than learning who she is in these moments, and what she does isn’t very interesting. There’s a moment where she gets a little frisky with her husband, but again it’s mentioned without really fleshing out their personalities. This is a hard thing to get right, but being able to compellingly characterise is kind of essential when the plot isn’t what’s supposed to be captivating us. For me, you haven’t managed it yet.

Just a little note here:

I masturbated a little, you know, just to get warmed up for him, knowing that Bob was going to want sex again tonight.

You directly address the reader there, which I found slightly strange. It’s admittedly not a huge deal, but if you want to establish a first-person narration tone in which the narrator is directly addressing the reader then it’s best to make it clear from the start. Waiting this long and then saying “you know” as if I’m part of a conversation is weird to find this far in. I’m not remotely opposed to the idea in general though (did it myself in The Warlock) but if you’re going to take that type of approach just make it clear from the get-go.

Right then, I read the whole thing and it’s… ok?

I never really attached myself to either character of the protagonist or her husband. Other than her having a plump belly I have no clue who she is other than that she’s a wife with kids and a boring job. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I know quite a few awesome people who are wives with kids and boring jobs, it’s just that I don’t really see an awesome side of your narrator.

I’m also not really seeing much humour in here. I think the joke is that it’s a snapshot of a night in the life of a volunteer editor for erotic stories, but that in itself isn’t really all that humorous or satirical. Perhaps if the character of the author she’s editing for was more pronounced as she corresponded with them? I’ve been through the process this story seems to be addressing. I’ve sent quite a few needy emails to my editors, along with a few egotistical ramblings of why I’m always right and they’re always wrong before I naturally see the light and do as I’m told. I’m sure a long-suffering Krissta and a slightly less long-suffering NaokoSmith can attest to this.

It just seems like there’s more here to plunder and you’re barely scratching the surface. Of all the hilarious situations that come up between a writer and their editor, you pick an overuse of alliteration? I dunno, it just seems like a giant missed opportunity.

The focus on the sex between her and her husband also seems to take away a lot of the focus of the story, since again you haven’t made her husband particularly interesting. I don’t feel a connection between them other than “they’re man and wife” which isn’t enough. This makes the sex fizzle rather than sizzle for me.

All that being said, this was a clever idea that I think could have been executed much better. I did find the ending sweet, in how our editors are nice people who put up with us maniacs, and how they probably get a kick out of reading our kinky fantasies. So it’s good that you wrote a story with a point to it, and I think you did make that point well enough. It’s just that I finished this thinking that I’d just read a pitch for a story idea rather than reading anything really fulfilling in its own right. That’s a shame, because it was a pretty damn good idea!

 

[Lien_Geller]

The High Line.

Right then, next up is TxRad’s The High Line.

It might be because my morning coffee boost is wearing off, but starting out with a paragraph that sounds like instructions to solve a Rubik’s Cube is a slightly strange choice. It’s also slightly disorienting too without any sense of context. The car moved below her? That’s not usually a good sign.

The whole opening race isn’t exactly thrilling for someone who isn’t a petrol head. It reads like a mix between a racing glossary of terms and sounds a bit like Sat-Nav driving instructions. I don’t understand most of the terms because I don’t care about racing or cars (anyone who does feel free to chime in to TxRad’s defence here.) The rest reads too blandly to set me into what I presume is supposed to be a thrilling chase scene. I know there’s some attempt to show the experience, but a lot of it has a bit of an “And Then” problem. It’s like I’m just getting a list of actions without any thing to invest me in the story.

Once we get out of the race and into the dialogue between Tex and Tracy, things improve considerably. You establish a really great vibe between them that feels like old friends/lovers talking. That’s not as easy as you make it look. Allowing a reader to invest in an already-existing relationship is more difficult than building one from scratch. I also don’t feel like I’m being left out of the conversation either. Sometimes writers like to establish friendship between two characters by saying stuff like “oh yeah, like the time when we crashed the speed boat” and then they’ll carry on from there. The reader knows nothing about the speed boat, of course and isn’t told about it. It’s a cheap and easy method. You go the hard route by establishing a realistic conversational tone between two people who are comfortable talking to each other. Nice one!

The teasing and casual nudity in the truck is great. Nice detail whilst maintaining their conversation. Their conversation about their relationship is also kind of sweet. I like how he’s mentored her because it makes the relationship stronger and the action is sweeter for it.

The way you prolong the teasing is also pretty darn great, and it doesn’t outstay its welcome. Some others occasionally push the limits of my patience in this department until I’m just ready to scream “for crying out loud, GET ON WITH IT!” Again, you strike the balance right and the result is suitably steamy. I also like the hint of humour added in there with Tex wanting coffee and pie. It’s not side-splittingly hilarious, but it’s not supposed to be. What it does do is lighten the tension and that again keeps things fresh and interesting.

That being said, there are a few slightly awkward phrases littered throughout.

“That I'm sure of also.”

There’s an example of something I’ve never ever heard worded like that. “I’m sure of that too.” “That I’m sure of.” “I’m sure of it.” All those would be fine, but yours twists a bit too much and the result is a bit clangy. Although this might be a dialect issue that I’m not familiar with.

The finale is fine and good, but I won’t lie and say I wasn’t hoping for a bit more of a thorough finish. At that point the entire story seems like it’s building to them getting home together and fucking like rabbits. So to leave it there on the driveway was a bit of a disappointment.

On the whole, this is very good stuff apart from the shaky start. The overuse of racing terms is probably going to turn off a lot of casual readers in the opening, which is a shame because this turns into a classic and very good stroke story by the end. You set the couple up brilliantly and I’d actually like to read more about them in future stories. Tracy seems like a great wet dream come true, and also kind of a badass which naturally appeals. Tex is kind and knowledgeable, and the smattering of humour here and there is also quite welcome.

It’s a sweet, straight-up sex story that I think ends before it probably should.

 

[JackLuis]

I noticed that before the new posts that JackLuis wanted me to take a look at My New Best Friend, so here’s me taking a look at it!

-
-
All that being said, this was a clever idea that I think could have been executed much better. I did find the ending sweet, in how our editors are nice people who put up with us maniacs, and how they probably get a kick out of reading our kinky fantasies. So it’s good that you wrote a story with a point to it, and I think you did make that point well enough. It’s just that I finished this thinking that I’d just read a pitch for a story idea rather than reading anything really fulfilling in its own right. That’s a shame, because it was a pretty damn good idea!

Lien:
Thanks for the review. I wrote MNBF just after I joined Lit in'08. I was flailing
about, trying out the medium and learning how to type more than 20 WPM. You are right, it is miscategorized although I'm not sure if there is a category that fits any better.
Jack

 

[Lien_Geller]

Jack's Life

Here’s my thoughts on Jack’s Life.

Right then, let’s rock. Your opening paragraph isn’t all that interesting. In fact I’d say it’s outright bad. We’ve got telling and not showing. Mundane actions. Nothing to anchor us to the plot or the characters. Jack also comes across as an immediate asshole for thinking about his secretary’s ass about 5 minutes after thinking about making love to his wife. Not sure what the hell you were trying to do with this but nothings established, it’s all over the place, and I now actively dislike your main character. In regards to telling and not showing we get stuff like:

She would actually like it if he woke her up and made love to her[…]

Looking down he noticed his morning wood and grinned to himself. "I'm forty and it still works just fine"

Don’t do stuff like this. It’s largely irrelevant to what’s currently going on in the story and it’s much more impactful to actually show that his wife still likes having sex with him and that his junk’s still fully operational. Especially in a sex story. Put like this it comes across like he’s bragging about it, which makes him sound like a jerk and doesn’t actually add anything meaningful to the story being told.

Then he starts daydreaming, and the fault I find here is with his thoughts about his secretary. She’s young and hot. That’s not exactly a good enough reason for me to invest in his fantasies about her. Who is she to him? If it’s a purely physical attraction then describe what it is about her that he finds so appealing. If there’s more to it than that, you need to make me feel why he’s fantasizing about her rather than just explaining the basics and hoping I go along with it.

Busted again. Once in his dream and once in real life, today was not starting off well.

That just doesn’t make sense because it feels like he thinks it’s a genuine bad start to the day to masturbate and then receive an offer of assistance from a (presumably) attractive woman. Huh?

You also pass from past tense at the start of the story to present tense a few paragraphs in:

He looked down at his now hard cock as he soaped himself up and scrubbed to wash away the sleep.

"Sure" he says, grinning. He backs away from the water to allow her to come into the shower. She reaches her hand out and grasps his still soapy cock and starts to stroke it.

Don’t do that. It’s really fucking confusing.

Speaking of confusing, during the sex scene I actively don’t know what’s happening. I think he’s fantasising about the blonde whilst having sex with his wife, but it’s extremely poorly conveyed. Firstly, you need to make the characters of The Blonde and His Wife more distinctive. I like reading about interesting sexy women in erotic stories, but at the very least I’d like the women to have a damn name. I don’t think you mentioned that his wife wasn’t blonde either, and this makes the sex scene and the fantasy very indistinctive. I had to go back and read it twice to figure out what was fantasy with The Blonde and what was real with His Wife.

The sex itself is also written very mechanically. It’s classic “He inserted tab A into Slot B” writing that lacks any sensuality or flavour beyond a barren description of what’s happening. Use the five senses. Immerse me in the scene. Bring in things like passion and motivation. Again, stop telling me the basics and make me fucking feel it. There are a few small notes where you make a token attempt at this but it’s not nearly enough. Although it does admittedly get a bit better toward the end of the scene where you at least describe some of the feeling of the experience.

Ok then, we then go to Marissa showing up and again I’m confused. Is this still him fantasizing? Btw, it’s nice to finally learn Patti’s name.

Then we go back to him in the shower with his wife? Again, this is all over the place. It’s not remotely easy to follow. His description of his wife and how much she means to him once again makes him come across as an asshole for thinking about another woman whilst he’s having sex with her. Telling and not showing also returns here with a vengeance too. I just read a story by TxRad where he establishes a familiar connection between a couple via dialogue where we are directly shown that the couple have great chemistry. All your guy does is think about why he and his wife are together. It comes across as very passive and doesn’t really work to invest me in their relationship.

Blah Blah on the radio and was thinking too much about the Steven's account.

Now there’s a terrible sentence!

Right, then he goes off to fantasy land again with Marissa this time. Then he wakes up and it’s all been a dream?

It’s. All. Been. A. Deam.

Now there’s an ending that’s completely original and universally adored!

Okie doke, let’s sum up then.

The character of Jack is largely non-existent and this hurts your story quite a bit. In showing things from his perspective and his mind, you seem to pay no heed to Jack himself. He’s just an object for sexual fantasies to happen to. With some context, he could come off a lot better here. If we were shown he was someone who was fiercely loyal to his wife, but occasionally spiced things up by entering his own fantasy world? That might make his actions come off a lot better. Letting the reader sympathise or relate to him somehow would make his mind-cheating go down a lot better. Even if he’s supposed to be kind of an asshole, then you could establish that too before drifting off to fantasy land. Without any attempt at characterisation, he comes across as dull and his actions make him unlikable. Some more attention to other characters in the story might also be nice. Even if it’s just naming them before I get half way down the page.

You also need to make it clearer where he’s flitting into fantasy land.

This story reads a lot like a writer just dumping out their own sexual fantasies into their work. That’s fine, and it’s certainly good to write along the lines of what you find exciting. It’s just that stories need more fleshing out. I already mentioned characterisation. A coherent plot might also be nice. If you want to write well, you’re really going to need a better ending than “it was all a dream”. It can’t just be explicit ideas for sexy actions. That’s not erotica, that’s porn.

Now I’d be the world’s biggest hypocrite if I came on here and started being derisive toward porn. However, if you just want to write porn then you don’t really need someone to critique your storytelling! As far as that goes, there isn’t much here to comment on. Though the sexual writing itself could be significantly improved and fleshed out. As I said. More than simple description of action. 5 Senses. Describing attraction. Basic stuff, really.

Sorry that I didn’t have much to say about this that was nice. It’s not a complete train wreck of a story by any stretch of the imagination. You’ve got a lot of the basics handled when it comes to the technical side of writing, with a few rookie mistakes like tense-switching and stuff like that.

If you want to continue this, then I’d say set your sights a bit higher and bite off a bit more than writing through some simple sexual fantasies.

Hope this helps a little bit, anyways! As always, if you don’t want this to stay up on the forum then just wing me a PM or ask on here and I’ll take it down.

 

[TxRad]

You pretty much hit everything on the head. Yeah, the opening is pure gear head. If I do anything with the story in the future, I'll have to figure out a way to convey the excitement better.

I like the characters so i might use them again. I don't have an idea for how right now. As for the awkward phases, I need to check those closer. I tend to write like people speak more so than using all that grammar stuff. Sometimes it works and sometimes it don't.

As for the ending, i debated forever on where to stop. I finally decided that any more and it would have been over the top from the rest of the story. The old stop and it's erotica or continue and head off into porn. Damned if ya do and damned if ya don't.

Thanks for the review

 

[Lien_Geller]

Erotica Vs. Porn… FIGHT!

Okie doke, so this is an issue that was raised in my last review and I think it’s one that’s worth spewing forth my thoughts.

What’s erotica and what’s porn? To me, this is just a question of story structure. Are you framing your story around the sex scenes? If you are then you’re writing porn. Are you framing it around your character and a distinct plotline with sex in there to spice things up? Congratulations, you’re writing erotica.

Naturally, as with most things involving writing, there are probably exceptions to these rules but I think they’re a decent framework to understand the difference in approach between the two styles.

It’s interesting that in recent times, sexual pornography hasn’t been the only style to use this particular structure. I’m pretty sure I once read an article in which Michael Bay or one of his effects guys said that they laid out the action scenes in the Transformers movies and then thought of a plot to string them together. Likewise, although it isn’t so popular today the last decade was filled with horror films branded as torture porn. This started out with the Saw movies, which originally weren’t in this style as the torture scenes seemed ancillary to the story being told. However later movies in the franchise and quite a few others that took on the style seemed to have the flimsiest plots and one-dimensional characters with the focus being the gruesome torture scenes.

Hence we get action-porn and torture-porn.

Although the stories that this approach creates are usually dreadful, that doesn’t mean that the product is necessarily bad depending on what it’s trying to do. Action-porn aims to create mindless carnage that’s visually interesting without requiring the viewer/reader to have to engage with the story being told. Torture porn is less about telling a thrilling horror story than it is a test to see if it can gross-out the viewer or make them cringe to death.

So, if your end-goal is to simply arouse your audience then the porn format can work just fine. Quite a few people browsing the site are here for just that. Your characters don’t have to be that deep, and the plot can be flimsy as all hell. As long as you can write good sex and plop your characters down in kinky situations then it’s job done.

If you want to write erotica, then you probably need to look at general advice on storytelling as it’s a bit more difficult to tackle. (Not that writing good porn is easy!) You need to know how to make interesting and believable characters, and compelling plots that can carry your readers interest without simply relying on the sex.

I don’t think there’s any shame in taking either of these approaches. Writing porn can give you an early focus on descriptive writing and writing good action. That can come in handy if you want to branch out into more general erotica. What’s more, I’ve seen quite a few stories on here that seem to get carried away with their plots and characters to the point where the sex becomes almost an afterthought. That’s just as disappointing to read in erotica as porn stories involving mere cardboard cut-out characters with no life at all written as blandly as possible.

Like so much with writing, this isn’t an either/or situation. Porn can grow into erotica, and erotica can heat up into outright porn depending on the story and what works. So I’d advise not to worry about it too much and write what feels right. If you can write believable characters in compelling plots that allow them to fuck like porn stars then you’ve pretty much nailed it as far as the readership around here goes. So it’s not like practicing either style is a waste of time!

 

[curl4ever]

A nicer summary...

That was a nicer summary than very many I've seen here on literotica.

Thanks!

 

[ElectricBlue]

Agree, Lien has teased apart some useful subtleties here.

That was a nicer summary than very many I've seen here on literotica.

Thanks!

 

[Charles36]

My first story:Sexual Awakening An older woman who starts out rather prim, as her mother taught her. Then she learns to enjoy her sexuality.

You may review it here or as a PM.

Thank you

 

[Lien_Geller]

Sexual Awakening

Charles36’s Sexual Awakening is next on the chopping block. Let’s see if any juicy bits come out.

Erm… ok then. That seems like a really weird way to start a story off. It’s like a mix of a bad author’s note leading into your main story. As I’ve said time and again here, the function of your opening paragraphs should be to immerse and interest your reader in your story. This doesn’t do that. Not at all.

First off, it’s you directly introducing us to the story before the narrator shifts for it to be told from the perspective of a female protagonist. Why the hell not just start out writing as her and cut to the chase? Readers want to find someone to anchor themselves to and care about, this really comes off as a false start in that regard. Rather than getting to know the protagonist, the focus instead begins on you as a writer? It just seems completely irrelevant.

You could do something fun with this method. Kind of like the format of the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt, or Elvira or something with a host who introduces the story. Instead, you give us the dullest recounting of your characters immediate history that you can manage.

Her mother was quite prudish and she had adopted much of her mother's attitudes. She dressed in the manner of her mother, never showing cleavage or wearing dresses above the knee. She does enjoy sex with her husband. She would like to have sex more often but her mother taught her that if she allowed sex too often her husband would become bored and the marriage would be ruined.

I mean, what the hell is that!? Well, it’s a blatant infodump for one thing. It also mentions a lot of stuff without remotely investing in this person as a character. Knowing her name before her sexual history might be a start. It reads like your author’s notes when you made the character. When you’re actually writing, you should fold this stuff into the narrative to show why the character reacts to things in the way that she does. Then it’s immediately relevant to what’s happening in the story. Laying it on the table like this just comes across as lazy writing, and it doesn’t remotely read well.

In the days before the excursion I began wondering what it would be like to see these women showing off their breasts. I was quite happy with my breasts; they were a bit too large for B-cup bras and not large enough for a C-cup. I wore a C because my breasts could disappear behind the bra. My breasts were firm enough that they passed the pencil-under-the-breast test (but I never went without a bra except in the shower and to bed.)

D’ya think you could maybe add the word “breasts” in there a few more times? I’m not sure five times is enough for one paragraph. It’s not just here either. It keeps going through your story. If I played a drinking game where I took a drink whenever you used the word “breast” or “breasts” I’d be dead before the end of the first page!

Although you are very fixated on the breasting breastiness of breasty breasts, you seem to be forgetting a few other important things to storytelling. Establishing even the rudimentary basics of a character might be a good start. How about maybe trying to write a conversation between her and her husband rather than just blandly explaining everything going on between them? Maybe include some other aspect to the story that doesn’t involve this woman thinking about the breastocity of her breastinators or her breasted interest in the breasteroonies of other women?

Then they get home and the sex isn’t my idea of fun.

In a single plunge he was in me to the hilt. I raised my hips and pressed my pubic bone against his. My clitoris was caught between. I shivered and the motion caused me to have a small orgasm. My husband sensed my arousal and he began pumping into me with more enthusiasm than usual. He moved quite slowly, pausing every few strokes to put pressure on my clitoris. I responded with a stronger orgasm each time. His slowness caused me to think that he was playing back his memories of the breasts that he had seen. This caused me to get more turned on. Eventually I was having one long orgasm that varied in intensity with his movements. When he finally exploded into me I could feel his cum splashing against my cervix deep inside my vagina.

This comes across as quite detached. The actions are there but there’s no feeling to it. This is partly because your main character doesn’t feel like a person so much as a pair of boob-binoculars. Also, things like simply stating that she had an orgasm and then that she had a stronger one doesn’t really make me feel what I sense you’re trying to convey. It’s too basic. Oh, and mentioning that his cum splashed against her cervix deep inside her vagina made me start to feel like I was going on a scientific exploration of the female reproductive system. Why not mention what the uterus and ovaries are up to whilst you’re at it?

You don’t allow your main character to react properly. She doesn’t properly convey how she feels about what’s happening or what’s going on around her except in the most basic ways. Instead she just describes what’s going on. Again this creates a great degree of detachment.

He commented at how pretty my bare breasts were and how excited my very hard nipples made him.

Why don’t you actually write up that dialogue instead? Dialogue is great for giving a character their voice and allowing a reader to empathise with them. It works much better than stuff like this.

Your descriptions are also so astonishingly limited! Sure, breasts, buttocks and vaginas are nice. What about legs, hair, eyes, smile, attitude, or the way that they carry themselves? There’s loads more to be interested in rather than just fixating on those three elements. How someone acts is also usually equally or more important than how they look.

Ok, well I’m only 3 quarters of the way down the first page and I’m about ready to put my head through my computer screen with this. I skim-read through some of it but just found more of the same issues I’ve mentioned here and I don’t want to just completely rag on you again and again so I’ll stop here.

Sorry this wasn’t more positive, but this story kind of annoyed me. It came across as quite lazy, and you didn’t even attempt to cover some of the basics of effective storytelling. (Characterisation, effective plotting, investing the reader in the story, dialogue. I shouldn’t have to go looking for this stuff.) Since that’s what I aim to breast… Dammit! Now you’ve got me doing it.

Ahem. Since storytelling is what I aim to critique here, there’s not a lot else I can say. This is very, very basic porn and as porn goes it’s not very good. I couldn’t finish it because it seemed so repetitive, bland and detached. It almost seemed like you were writing just what turned you on, and if you want to write for other people you need to branch out a little more and give them something to help them go along for the ride.

As usual, since this wasn’t a remotely positive review just wing me a PM and I’ll take it down if you want me to! Better luck with it in future, and don’t let my ramblings put you off. If this is your first attempt, I’ve seen plenty worse and there’s a hell of a learning curve to this particular hobby.

 

[Lien_Geller]

And now for something we think you'll really like!

Here’s something a little different! Instead of mercilessly and gleefully putting other people’s work through the critical shredder I thought that whilst I have a little time and some inclination I’d try to be a little more positive. So instead of our scheduled review request, I thought I’d post up a few regular spots on how to start out in writing a story. I’ll throw in some advice I’ve taken from other sources, and just generally try to give a new writer a path to follow as they take the plunge.

So, let’s start out with some general stuff: The first rule of storytelling club is that there are no rules of storytelling club.

That’s pretty important to keep in mind when listening to any storytelling advice from anyone ever. I use the word storytelling specifically because there are of course plenty of rules to writing like punctuation, correct spelling, general grammar, etc. I’m going to be focusing on storytelling for the moment. So, take everything I say with a pinch of salt, and if it doesn’t work for you then cheerfully ignore it or bend my advice into whatever shape you find useful in making you a better writer. Just don’t think I’m standing atop the great mount of writer’s knowledge laying rules down that you must follow. Do what works to make you a better writer. Note there that I didn’t say “do what you find easiest”. When you’re learning this stuff from me or any other teaching source, don’t dismiss stuff on a whim because it sounds difficult or you’re not sure about it. Give it a try and see what happens. Also, just because you don’t have to follow the “rules” doesn’t mean it’s not helpful to be aware of them.

Ok, so with that said let’s completely ignore it for a moment whilst I tell you the two golden rules that will pretty much always make you better at writing. I’ve nabbed these from Stephen King’s memoir/advice novel called On Writing. It’s a book that’s a good place to start if you’re new to the game. So, let’s look at the golden rules.

1: Read Books.

Sounds simple enough, right? Well first off, bear in mind that you need to be reading a lot of books. At least an average sized novel every two weeks. If you want to write books, it also helps to read outside your comfort zone. Don’t stick to just reading books that involve spaceships because that’s what you like reading about. Even if you’re reading shitty books, that will help because you’ll figure out what kind of writer you don’t want to be. Oh, and reading shitty books is great for morale. (If Stephanie Meyer can become a billionaire with this crap then what’s stopping me!?) Don’t just stick to fiction either. Game of Thrones largely came out of G.R.R. Martin’s interest in medieval history. I’m not saying pick up the biggest and dullest textbook you can find, but there’s plenty of nonfiction out there that’s written for a wider audience than just academics. Look into it.

2: Write.

Again, this isn’t fucking rocket science here. If you want to be a writer then you need to be putting down at least 1000 words a day, or that equivalent over the course of a week or month. Actually, if you want to write professionally someday you’re probably going to have to do a shitload more than that but it’s a good starting goal. When new writers start up, they’re often put off by a few factors. The first is that they aren’t as good as they thought they were. This can come from thinking that reading and watching a lot of TV and movies on their own will make you able to tell an amazing story right of the starting line. It’s also common to find in people who have a background in other forms of writing who immediately find themselves stretching a very different muscle set that they aren’t used to.

The most frequent reason that people stop after writing just a few pages is much more depressing: It’s because they’re getting better. I started writing with a moderate background in academic English study, and an hobby in online text based role playing. There was a point where whenever I started to write something I’d stop after a few pages and go look over what I’d written and decide it was crap. Now I’m not saying I was wrong about it being crap, but I did severely underestimate how much I’d learned in those few pages. I’d learned enough by page 15 that I could now see page 1 just wasn’t good enough. I’m not saying this isn’t demoralizing, but if this sounds familiar then please realise the reason you’re recognising you’ve got a crappy page 1 is because you’re now a better writer than you were when you wrote it. You can recognize the mistakes and you can do it better. If you keep going you’ll probably be able to write your next story without many mistakes at all on that first page. You just have to keep writing to get better at it, and don’t underestimate how much you learn in those first pages when you start out.

Echoing the part about reading, you might also want to try writing outside your comfort zone. It’s a lot easier to do this stuff when you start out than trying to write a story that you really care about. You probably won’t be that good in the beginning, so don’t start out with your best ideas. Write the crazy off-the-wall shit. Write stuff just because you can. I wrote Unleashed purely because I was fucking sick of the paranormal romance genre and wanted to show people what would happen if one part of a loving couple was bitten by a proper goddamn werewolf! I had a blast writing that story, and it actually placed in a competition. My point being is that in not caring so much about the work, it’s a hell of a lot more fun and those moments when you look back over it and see the mistakes you made won’t sting so badly.

I should also mention that writing is a skill you need to keep your hand in or it gets rusty. Don’t expect to take a 3 month break and come back writing as strongly as you were when you left off. Keep at it, keep getting better and approach the work with an attitude toward learning more about it rather than writing the same old shit and you will get better.

Okie doke. Now we’ve finished talking about the golden rules let’s get onto how to approach your story. It’s handy to have a notebook with you (or a phone that can take notes if you like) so you can jot down ideas whenever they come to you. It’s more handy to be able to look through that notebook when you sit down to write something. It’s much easier to visualise and put together the ideas you’ve written down rather than racking your brains to try and remember them. A good story isn’t just one idea, after all. With a notebook you can flick through and see what ideas might work together, and you can advance those ideas until you’re ready to start the planning phase.

So, for the basics, make sure you start out with at least 2 good ideas. An idea for an interesting plot, and an idea for an interesting character. Sometimes these can be the same thing, but make sure you’ve got both before you start planning. These only need to be basic concepts at this stage, but they do need fleshing out enough to be distinctive and most importantly they need to excite you.

The character idea can be something as basic as an interesting job and an attitude. Jake, the crazy skydiving instructor. It can be based around a character flaw. Emily, the illiterate librarian. Anything really. Keep it basic. Keep it interesting. The idea for the plot can be something as simple as a situation. The forest at night. A burning building. A vampire’s lair. Or it can be a basic quest. Overthrow an evil emperor. Save the world. Put the building out. Have sex with the vampire. Whatever.

The point is to make sure that you have at least one distinctive and interesting character and a plot that’s compelling to you. A big rookie mistake is to just think of one of these and then start writing straight away. A good plot suffers from bland characters and bland characters make even the most balls-to-the-wall plotting seem detached. Thinking about both before you head into the planning phase is a good way to make sure they carry equal weight right through to the final chapter, which they should. It also helps to make sure that your protagonist fits into the plot properly. For example: Don’t tell a horror story with an action hero as the protagonist because it’s not very interesting to try to scare a person who isn’t afraid of anything. For the many smarty-pants out there, yes I know there’s probably a way to make that work (See: Predator, Predators, Aliens) but generally I hope you see why it wouldn’t be a good idea to put John Rambo in The Exorcist. Actually, scratch that. Now I really want to see The Exorcist: First Blood.

Anyway, I think I’ll leave it there for now and if you’ve found this at all helpful then let me know and I’ll keep doing it. If you want to expand on anything I’ve said or argue with me about it then by all means do that too. Next up I’ll talk about planning out a story. Or a lot of people will tell me to shut up.

 

[curl4ever]

Nice!

 

[Areala-chan]

Absolutely love your list, Lien (and the idea of Jane the illiterate librarian gave me a good laugh). Something else that may help other writers strengthen their chops is 'translating' another medium to the printed word.

Take a scene from a favorite film or television show, or a story from your favorite comic book, or some other medium that is not primarily text-based, and render that scene into prose format.

The beauty of this exercise is that it really makes you focus on all the little nuances. Not just the characters and their location, but how they move, how they carry themselves, mannerisms, pacing, what's happening in the background, what people are wearing, everything.

Think of it as training wheels. You're not going to publish these, they're just to help you get a handle on crafting a complete scene, and help you develop your 'writer eyes' which see with all five senses (and maybe even a sixth or seventh depending on what genre you're writing).

 

[Lien_Geller]

Hatching a diabolical plan!

Alright then, so you’ve got your ideas and you’re ready to start some more in-depth plotting. The first thing you need to do is figure out where you fall on this spectrum:

Architects <--------------------------------> Gardeners

These are terms used by George R. R. Martin in describing the two ways writers tend to approach the work. Here’s his quote:

I think there are two types of writers, the architects and the gardeners. The architects plan everything ahead of time, like an architect building a house. They know how many rooms are going to be in the house, what kind of roof they're going to have, where the wires are going to run, what kind of plumbing there's going to be. They have the whole thing designed and blueprinted out before they even nail the first board up. The gardeners dig a hole, drop in a seed and water it. They kind of know what seed it is, they know if planted a fantasy seed or mystery seed or whatever. But as the plant comes up and they water it, they don't know how many branches it's going to have, they find out as it grows.

So let’s do a pros and cons list of each of these styles.

Architects

Pros: Planning stuff out extensively beforehand can give you a tremendous advantage in organising the plot of your story with perfect pacing, excellent action, and usually a really fantastic ending. These guys also don’t usually have as many issues with writer’s block because they follow their plans out rather than writing themselves into corners. They also have the added advantage of being able to take a non-linear approach to the writing. Knowing what’s going to happen in every scene lets them shift to a more interesting scene if they’re getting bored of writing the one they’re currently working on, so their stories tend to get written a lot faster.

Cons: Some people find knowing everything that will happen in a story makes it boring to write it. Architects also can fall into the trap of focusing on their plots over their characters. Quite a few writers “get to know” their characters by writing them, and this fleshes them out in interesting ways. Architects don’t like this idea much, because fleshing out characters or letting the characters grow in unintended directions might screw up their plans. Also, although writer’s block isn’t as much of a problem, if they do manage to screw up and see a plot hole or something they’ve overlooked, they find it really fucking hard to improvise. It comes down to a choice of ignoring it and hoping for the best or fixing it and having to possibly change weeks of work they’ve put into their plan. Although folks who truly take this approach to the extreme sometimes go into so much detail that their plans end up becoming their actual stories.

Gardeners

Pros: Good gardeners tend to write amazingly deep characters. Rather than following a laid out plot structure, they’ll tend to simply “act out” their characters in their head and see where it takes them. They might have a basic situational concept in mind for the plot, but they usually don’t know what’s going to happen until they’ve actually written it out. Because of this, improvising is really easy and they can adapt the story on a whim. This kind of writing is a lot more “adventurous” too, as the writer is almost taking the journey of their characters with them rather than simply writing it up as architects do.

Cons: As previously stated, gardeners tend to run into issues with writers block a lot. This leads to a lot of backtracking as the occasional scene needs to be re-written or deleted when the gardener accidentally realises his protagonist needs to die half way through her own story. It’s also a good idea for these guys to take a lot of notes as they write, just to keep track of everything important to the story. This stops secondary characters from starting out in chapter 5 having a serious limp and then returning in chapter 20 to run a triathlon with a different skin colour after the author forgets about them turning up in chapter 5.

Now, remember that I’m presenting these two approaches at opposite ends of a spectrum. You don’t have to pick one or the other, and you can do as much planning as you need to do to write a good story. I will say that in my experience most new writers are more toward the architect side of things than they think they are. Planning is considered to be dull work compared to the aforementioned adventuring, and many writers just dive in straight at page one with a half-baked idea in their heads. If you’re writing porn, you can sometimes get away with that if it’s brief enough since all you need is two attractive people, a kinky situation and a sex scene. If you want to write erotica, or any other kind of story, then you need to do some planning beforehand. Even the most die-hard gardeners need to at least lay out their concepts and ideas first before they start exploring.

So with that in mind let’s look at planning characters. For this, we need to look at what I call character necessities. These are the things your character needs to come off as a person rather than a cardboard cut-out. I’ll just run through a few, but feel free to add more if you need to. Also remember that you don’t need to go into this for every single fucking character in a cast of thousands. Just make sure you’ve covered your main protagonists and antagonists.

1: Motivation – This is probably the most important aspect of your character. Why the hell do they want or need to take part in your story? What’s driving them? In my early example of Jake, the crazy skydiving instructor, let’s have his motivation being that he’s a thrill seeker. How are you going to convey that effectively in the story? You can’t just write “He jumped out of a plane. It was a thrill.” Maybe Jake spent most of his young life indoors due to an illness that he’s overcome as an adult. So going outside and doing crazy shit makes him feel alive in a way he always longed for as a boy. Make sure you anchor this shit properly and don’t rely on tropes to do it for you. “We’ve got to save the world” isn’t good enough. “I want to see boobs” isn’t good enough. “I love this woman because we’re married” isn’t good enough. These ideas can be a good starting point, but they need fleshing out if a reader is going to buy into that character’s motivation. Getting this right is crucial to taking your reader along for the ride in your story-mobile. Don’t fuck it up and don’t get lazy with it.

2: History – I don’t know where I’m going, but I sure know where I’ve been. Those immortal words from Whitesnake are great advice for figuring out a good character. Thinking about where a character has come from makes it much easier to figure out how they’ll react in any given situation you throw at them. Working on this also makes characters feel much more real and worn in. I also know that I’m being very vague here just putting “history” as that can mean a lot of things, but this element can vary wildly depending on what you need the character for in the story. If your protagonist is trying to escape her past, then this is going to be pretty fucking important. If they’re trying to buy an ice cream cone, then it might not be so crucial. So figure out what you need to figure out in regards to this, but if you’re writing a very long story it’s best to go into detail with your main character. (Remember that characters sometimes change in the course of the story, so unless you’re prepared to re-write then allow for that growth.)

3: Appearance – Ok, the most important thing here is where you start. “I want the woman in my story to have massive, great, stonking bazongas” is not a great approach. Instead, ask yourself this: How can I show my character’s persona through the way they look? If they’re eccentric then how about some wildly coloured hair? If they’re lazy maybe they don’t smell too great. If they’re stressed maybe they’re a little too thin. You don’t have to turn them into caricatures, but think about how you can show their nature by describing them. Also, if they’re very attractive then think about how that might realistically affect them. Maybe they don’t like the attention and dress in baggy clothes. Maybe they love it and have a P.H.D. in flirting. Remember that attitude and the way a character carries themselves are just as important here as physical appearance.

4: Merits and Flaws – Gonna pinch this concept from my old favourite tabletop RPG Vampire: The Masquerade. Every character needs a decent flaw, and more importantly that flaw needs to be relevant to the story being told. I see plenty of new writers saying shit like:

“Oh, my guy can’t go near water. He’s terrified of it!”

“Great! So where’s the story set?”

“Huh? Oh, it’s in the Sahara Desert.”

Don’t do crap like that. I know it’s not always that blatant, but you know what I mean! You don’t have to completely cripple your protagonist with flaws, but make sure there’s something about her that conflicts with her goals in the story. If you don’t have that then your story’s going to get very bland very quickly.

Likewise, make sure to give your characters some merits! What are they good at? Remember not to just limit this to skill sets and superpowers. Think about personality traits and such. Also, remember to balance the merits with the flaws. If your guy is a super-genius then make it difficult for him to socialise, and then actually fucking reflect that in how he acts rather than just saying something like “he was very shy” before he porks the head cheerleader.

As a last word on characters, if you’re having trouble getting to grips with one, or you’re not sure how they’ll come out when you start writing them, then try this. Just write a scene. Not a scene in the story. This scene won’t be published. It’s just a scene involving them. Maybe they walk into a bar and talk about their life to the bartender. Maybe it’s a scene where you interview them about who they are. Make sure they do some talking, and depending on what’s going on in the story, make sure you fold in something appropriate. If you’re writing a story about a noble knight, then maybe the conversation in the bar is interrupted by an angry dragon tearing the roof off. If it’s a horror story, make the bar haunted and see what it feels like to have your character made nervous by strange noises. Doing the “you as the writer interviews the main character” is also a good idea if you’re having trouble with author-insurgent fantasy personas. New writers often tend to write themselves, and doing that exercise can help you discern between yourself and your protagonist. If it feels like you’re writing about two characters talking into a mirror, then you might need to rethink your approach.

Ok then, that’s enough on characters. Let’s talk about plot. But before I do that, let’s speak of weaving!

Weaving together your plot and your characters is probably one of the most important parts of storytelling, and it’s one of the reasons that planning is so helpful. Characters anchor the reader’s interest to the story, and plot drives that interest forward. Way too often I hear new writers saying “oh I don’t care about paltry things like the plot, I want a character driven story”. Whilst it’s fun to listen to that stuff and theorize just how far the pretentious-stick has made it’s way up their rectum, what they usually mean is that they want to write about their characters fart-arseing about doing sweet-fuck-all for 20 pages before even they get bored and give up. For me, a character driven story is a story where the characters are active agents in the plot, as opposed to the plot being something that’s just “happening to them”. They aren’t stories where the plot is secondary to the protagonist sitting in a chair for 5 hours and rambling about the writer’s ideas on philosophy and religion.

Anyhoo, I digress. My point is that character should advance plot and plot should develop character. This is why I suggested you think of a compelling idea for both these elements separately before starting out your plan, so that one doesn’t get overshadowed by the other.

When I start plotting out my story, the first thing I usually do is think of an ending. I’ve usually got my character set up by then and an idea for the basics of the plot, so I’ll figure out where I’m going with it. It's just something to be getting on with, and nothing complicated. "They beat the evil emperor." "He gets turned into a vampire." "They turn into elves and move to Alfheim." Not that this by any means always turns out to be the ending. It’s just an ending that I can work with whilst I sort out the basic beats of the story. This gives me something to write towards, and lets me keep an eye on how my characters are getting there.

Then I keep it pretty simple in going forward and just write up a series of bullet points for each important scene. Each bullet point is a short paragraph summing up the scene and leaving perhaps one or two important notes for where to go next, particularly if the next scene doesn’t immediately address the situation where I leave off. I keep a separate document for my character notes, and make sure to note how the protagonists are developing through the story. This lets me keep everything straight in my head and prevents my dudes and dudettes from suddenly acting out of character. Once I’m done with that all the way to my ending, I go back over it and make sure those notes I’ve left make sense and that I haven’t forgotten anything.

At this point I usually have a page for each protagonist, and about 5-10 pages for the plotline. By now another document has usually appeared that covers everything else. Secondary characters (Noting things like eye colour, hair colour, body shape and important aspects of their appearance…etc.), places, magic systems, mcguffin locations and anything else that I might need to reference quickly.

With that done, I then go over the whole thing again and address any rhythm issues I might be having. If I’ve got five long drawn-out talky scenes together, I might throw in something to liven things up. If a big chunk is focusing on characterisation and there isn’t a plot point in sight, that’s also something that probably needs rearranging. Like I said, people don’t want to read twenty pages of interesting characters sitting on their butts doing nothing, and they don’t want shitloads of mindless action involving characters with all the depth of a tissue. Hit the right spot in between those extremes though, and you’re golden. (No, that doesn’t mean I want to see a load of tissue-people sitting on their butts, smart-ass!)

Once that’s over with, I start writing. The example I’ve given here of how I approach a plot is what I use for things like my The Missing Dragon series. I like to keep things simple with bullet points and single paragraph summaries so that the plan is malleable enough that I can shift directions without losing a shitload of work. I find that this gives me the best of both worlds between Gardeners and Architects. I know where I’m going. I have something to write towards, but I’m not so invested that things can’t change if I need them to.

Anyways, I hope my ramblings have been helpful here and maybe given you a place to start or something to think about if you’ve been having trouble planning out your stories. Next I’ll talk about actually starting to write the damn thing.

Oh and thanks to Areala-Chan for that top tip, and to curl4ever for the support. If anyone has any extra advice on planning or general tips for a new writer approaching their first story then feel free to chime up. It’ll probably be a day or so before I write up another one of these if I decide it’s worth continuing with.

 

[curl4ever]

Again, nice!

Thanks for offering such comprehensive and reasonable advice.

 

[curl4ever]

I ran across a fun implementation of some of this recent advice in a different context that you might find amusing.

I just watched the DVD of "Big Hero 6." (And no, I won't explain why.) In the bonus features was a piece called "The Characters Behind the Characters" in which they interviewed several of the lead animators. They discussed how they worked to give each character distinct traits. They showed a sort of "screen test" exercise where they had each character walk through a door and sit down at a table. It was AMAZING to see how powerfully they were able to distinguish them by their style and mannerisms with no words at all. (Made me acutefully aware of how much more dynamic my stories might be if I worked more diligently on those issues, rather than just relying on dialogue.)

- curl